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Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

My mom made bean soup with the hambone from Christmas on Sunday. It was good.

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wormil
Sep 12, 2002

Hulk will smoke you!
Making a big pot of beans right now with carrots, onions, celery, peppers, tomato's, and leftover ham.

cyberia
Jun 24, 2011

Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.
I've been eating black-eyed peas with leftover Christmas ham for lunch the last few days and it's delicious and awesome.

Now for a bean-related question: when I make refried beans using fresh cumin seeds should I grind the seeds or leave them whole? Also, what are people's favourite beans to use? I normally use kidney but also have pinto and black beans in the cupboard, would either of those work?

e - second question: My friend made some awesome bean-only chilli for Christmas dinner. What are people's favourite bean-only / vegetarian chilli recipes?

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR

cyberia posted:

e - second question: My friend made some awesome bean-only chilli for Christmas dinner. What are people's favourite bean-only / vegetarian chilli recipes?

Run friend, lest the chilli hounds of hell find you.

SymmetryrtemmyS
Jul 13, 2013

I got super tired of seeing your avatar throwing those fuckin' glasses around in the astrology thread so I fixed it to a .jpg
I made my own POT BEANS a few days ago, blatantly disregarding the good luck superstitions associated with the dish.

Hoppin' John

One pound dried black-eyed peas
One pound bacon (or a ham hock, or salt pork, or sausage even)
Some other meat, maybe? Andouille seems like a natural fit here, or cooked ham.
Onions
Bell peppers
Celery
Something smoky and hot - I used chipotles in adobo, minced fine
Couple cups of rice
Garlic
Chiles of some sort
Bay leaf
Black pepper
A bunch of stock

Render the meat until crisp but not dry; reserve.
Saute your mirepoix in the remaining fat until tender and aromatic, then add minced garlic. Cook until soft, adding meat, chipotles, and whatever other stuff you like (carrots, chopped ham, fresh chiles, I don't know) along the way.
Add black-eyed peas and cook until soft and creamy.
Add rice and cover, then bring to a boil and simmer 20 minutes.

Let rest 10 minutes covered before serving with a bowl of collard greens and a hunk of cornbread.

SymmetryrtemmyS fucked around with this message at 09:32 on Jan 1, 2015

wormil
Sep 12, 2002

Hulk will smoke you!
Cornbread and beans would be a strong contender for my last meal. That or two eggs over easy with warm buttered toast. Yep, I'm a simple guy.

Butch Cassidy
Jul 28, 2010

Over easy eggs and Boston baked beans with a dollop of either zucchini relish or piccalilli and buttered wheat toast on the side would be a pretty decent last meal.

Paper With Lines
Aug 21, 2013

The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!

wormil posted:

Cornbread and beans would be a strong contender for my last meal. That or two eggs over easy with warm buttered toast. Yep, I'm a simple guy.

Salted or unsalted butter?

Do you get salt with the meal? I might just try to kill myself with a salt overdose depending...

RattiRatto
Jun 26, 2014

:gary: :I'd like to borrow $200M
:whatfor:
:gary: :To make vidya game
I love beans, really tasty and healthy.
Since i'm a lazy bastard, i always use pressure pot to cook them(it's so quick!):
first 20 minutes on low fire after the wistle,
then you turn it off and you make cool down,
after you turn it on again for 30 minutes.

wormil
Sep 12, 2002

Hulk will smoke you!
I know some will cringe but Spam and beans make a tasty soup. No additional salt needed.

LosMein
Feb 15, 2006
I'm in Asia right now and I miss the black beans my mom makes. I got a crock pot and found some dried black beans, and I've been able to enjoy some good black beans and rice.

I place about 500g of black beans in my big crockpot, cover it with a few inches of water, some roughly chopped onion, garlic, and a couple bay leaves. Let it cook on low for 8-10 hours. Then I discard the water, and fry up some onions, tomatoes, peppers, garlic, maybe carrots too. I'll save those, then cook the beans with whatever kind of good liquid I have for about 10 minutes (I like my beans pretty soft). I could use chicken stock, leftover pork juices, beer, whatever. I add some cumin, oregano, and vinegar and then the vegetables for another 10 minutes or so. Sometimes I have to keep adding liquid in.

They come out really soft, but that's the way I like them. As far as salt goes, I read for a while that if you salt beans as they soak or cook in the slow cooker, they'll be ruined somehow. I just kinda followed it blindly, but it seems some goons salt or even brine the beans? I could start doing that too. I usually added the salt towards the end of the slow cooker time.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




wormil posted:

I know some will cringe but Spam and beans make a tasty soup. No additional salt needed.

Nothing wrong with Spam. It's good quality pork shoulder, albeit with a poo poo-ton of salt.

wormil
Sep 12, 2002

Hulk will smoke you!

Liquid Communism posted:

Nothing wrong with Spam. It's good quality pork shoulder, albeit with a poo poo-ton of salt.

I didn't know that, always assumed it was lips and assholes.


Here is my bean soup recipe although I never make it the same way twice because I use whatever leftovers and stuff that needs using up.

Beans, your choice, (pinto, navy, black, lentil, pea, lima, anasazi, northern, etc. or a mixture of beans)
(I use one bag of dried beans for this recipe)
6-8 cups of chicken stock (8 if you want thinner soup)
2 smoked ham hocks (or ham bone, fatback, salt pork, jowls, country ham)
1 bay leaf
1 onion, chopped
2 stalks of chopped celery
1/2 cup chopped carrots
1-2 broccoli stalks, finely chopped (highly recommended)

If using dried beans, soak beans overnight, rinse, add to pot in the morning along with chopped onion, bay leaf, and chicken stock (along with any optional ingredients like celery, etc). Cook on low about six hours (times may vary depending on type) until beans are tender and meat is falling off the bone. Remove hocks and set aside. Mash the beans to desired consistency with a potato masher or if you prefer, scoop out about two cups of bean soup and run through the blender or food processor and return to pot. Separate meat, skin, fat and bone from ham hocks. Chop meat and return to pot, scraps go to the dogs. Salt & pepper to taste.

Serve over hot cornbread. If you are a butter fiend, top with a pat of butter. It is not an exacting recipe, you may add or subtract as desired. I sometimes add garlic or peppers to mine.

Alternatives to ham hocks: Spam or about any kind of pork (ham, sausage), beef roast. I've tried salt pork and don't care for it, maybe I'm doing it wrong.

Thoht
Aug 3, 2006

I have a little bit of a hard time with Spam after this.

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR

Thoht posted:

I have a little bit of a hard time with Spam after this.

Yep. This article really led to my dramatic reduction in consumption of processed meats and other foods.

wormil
Sep 12, 2002

Hulk will smoke you!
Manufactured food is gross when you learn more about it. I visited an egg farm as a teenager and still have trouble eating store bought eggs.

Eeyo
Aug 29, 2004

Anybody ever made mayacoba/peruano beans? What's the closest bean in terms of cooking time (I'd probably pressure cook it)? I heard they make good refried beans which is why I got them.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.
That's like the only bean we buy, pretty much. They cook in the same time as any other bean. That is to say, it's not a matter of variety, but a matter of how old they are.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




Thoht posted:

I have a little bit of a hard time with Spam after this.

Go read some Upton Sinclair. If you can still eat animals after reading The Jungle, then you're set. I've killed and butchered enough of my own meat not to be too squeamish.

That said, that whole article's overwraught purple prose bullshit to sensationalize how bad the meat packing industry is in order to emphasize the (very real) lovely circumstances of the illegal immigrants working in it. It's Mother Jones, they have a distinct agenda.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.

Liquid Communism posted:

Go read some Upton Sinclair. If you can still eat animals after reading The Jungle, then you're set. I've killed and butchered enough of my own meat not to be too squeamish.

That said, that whole article's overwraught purple prose bullshit to sensationalize how bad the meat packing industry is in order to emphasize the (very real) lovely circumstances of the illegal immigrants working in it. It's Mother Jones, they have a distinct agenda.

The point of it isn't the animals. The point of it is the people. We shouldn't eat Spam because of the way the people who make Spam are treated.

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR

Mr. Wiggles posted:

The point of it isn't the animals. The point of it is the people. We shouldn't eat Spam because of the way the people who make Spam are treated.

We never did get that socialist utopia they were hinting about at the end, y'know. But it's good to know you can always crash a political rally for a place to warm up and maybe get some coffee and profoundly shift your ideals towards humanity.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




Mr. Wiggles posted:

The point of it isn't the animals. The point of it is the people. We shouldn't eat Spam because of the way the people who make Spam are treated.

Yes, but to carry that onwards, we should all be sitting naked in an empty room, given that our clothes and consumer goods are made by people in worse conditions for vastly less recompense. Much worse. Be aware of where your food comes from, and under what conditions, but keep politics out of the kitchen.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.

Liquid Communism posted:

Yes, but to carry that onwards, we should all be sitting naked in an empty room, given that our clothes and consumer goods are made by people in worse conditions for vastly less recompense. Much worse. Be aware of where your food comes from, and under what conditions, but keep politics out of the kitchen.

No, politics absolutely belong in the kitchen. The lot of the people who produce the food you eat is extremely important, and it is the moral imperative of us all to ensure that our dollars do not go to supporting oppression where we find that it exists. Don't buy Hormel products, don't buy sweatshop clothes, etc. It's all part of the same thing, and it's not something we can ignore, because those people getting sick in the Mother Jones article are your brothers and sisters who deserve no less than you do.

Thoht
Aug 3, 2006

Liquid Communism posted:

Yes, but to carry that onwards, we should all be sitting naked in an empty room, given that our clothes and consumer goods are made by people in worse conditions for vastly less recompense. Much worse. Be aware of where your food comes from, and under what conditions, but keep politics out of the kitchen.

I don't think it's necessarily an all or nothing thing. Of course no producer you buy from is going to be perfect. That doesn't mean you can't try to minimize your support of companies you know to have really crappy practices (again, key word being minimize, not 100% eliminate) and make an effort to support ones you feel to be more responsible. Just because you can't necessarily get Joel Salatin's Ideal Egg TM at your grocery store doesn't mean you just throw up your hands and say I might as well buy the cheapest, shittiest, battery farmed eggs I can. Anyway, it's kind of a derail so I apologize for bringing it up in the first place.

The Midniter
Jul 9, 2001

D&D is that-a-way.

This argument is certainly worth discussing, but not in the pot beans thread, where it serves only as a massive derail to make the mods mad.

El Jebus
Jun 18, 2008

This avatar is paid for by "Avatars for improving Lowtax's spine by any means that doesn't result in him becoming brain dead by putting his brain into a cyborg body and/or putting him in a exosuit due to fears of the suit being hacked and crushing him during a cyberpunk future timeline" Foundation

The Midniter posted:

D&D is that-a-way.

This argument is certainly worth discussing, but not in the pot beans thread, where it serves only as a massive derail to make the mods mad.

But think of the beans' welfare!!

toplitzin
Jun 13, 2003


El Jebus posted:

But think of the beans' welfare!!

And the angel of the lord came unto me
snatching me up from my place of slumber.
And took me on high and higher still
until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself.
And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own midwest.
And as we descended cries of impending doom rose from the soil.
One thousand nay a million voices full of fear.
And terror possessed me then.
And I begged "Angel of the Lord what are these tortured screams?"
And the angel said unto me,
"These are the cries of the beans, the cries of the beans!
You see, Reverend Maynard,
tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust."
And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat
like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared,
"Hear me now, I have seen the light!
They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul!
drat you! Let the rabbits eat lettuce! Save our brothers!"
Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you Jesus.

shankerz
Dec 7, 2014

Must Go Faster!!!!!
Anyone know a good pinto bean recipe? I love the kind KFC makes with the little pieces of hot pepper in it.

wormil
Sep 12, 2002

Hulk will smoke you!

shankerz posted:

Anyone know a good pinto bean recipe? I love the kind KFC makes with the little pieces of hot pepper in it.

I'm pretty sure they copied those from Bojangles. Searching "Bojangles cajun beans recipe" pulls up some good prospects.

Like this: http://mamaozzystable.blogspot.com/2011/01/cajun-pinto-beans.html

If it turns out well, let me know.

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR

toplitzin posted:

And the angel of the lord came unto me
snatching me up from my place of slumber.
And took me on high and higher still
until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself.
And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own midwest.
And as we descended cries of impending doom rose from the soil.
One thousand nay a million voices full of fear.
And terror possessed me then.
And I begged "Angel of the Lord what are these tortured screams?"
And the angel said unto me,
"These are the cries of the beans, the cries of the beans!
You see, Reverend Maynard,
tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust."
And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat
like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared,
"Hear me now, I have seen the light!
They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul!
drat you! Let the rabbits eat lettuce! Save our brothers!"
Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you Jesus.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmK0bZl4ILM

I've heard the screams of the vegetables.

Suspect Bucket fucked around with this message at 06:04 on Feb 7, 2015

Kickshaw
Sep 6, 2012
This thread has inspired me to do something about my red beans and rice craving. Would it work with chorizo in the place of andouille sausage? If not, I'll just make the vegetarian version.

Butch Cassidy
Jul 28, 2010

It'll work fine. Do it up.

THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

...Carey...

draw me like one of your French Canadian girls

Mr. Wiggles posted:

No, politics absolutely belong in the kitchen. The lot of the people who produce the food you eat is extremely important, and it is the moral imperative of us all to ensure that our dollars do not go to supporting oppression where we find that it exists. Don't buy Hormel products, don't buy sweatshop clothes, etc. It's all part of the same thing, and it's not something we can ignore, because those people getting sick in the Mother Jones article are your brothers and sisters who deserve no less than you do.

You can pry my pickled pork hocks from my cold dead hands

back to the point of the thread, I wanna get some new bean dishes in my rotation. I absolutely adore red beans and rice, and I'm more partial to stews/heavy gravy type bean dishes like that than I am ones that are more like carribean beans and rice. Any suggestions that fit the bill??

Paper With Lines
Aug 21, 2013

The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!
Don't mean to bump, but should I get a pressure cooker just to make beans?

Seems pretty awesome imo.

Thoht
Aug 3, 2006

Eh, as someone who owns one and uses it for legumes, it's convenient but I don't think it's necessary. I don't think there's any difference in quality between beans I've soaked overnight and cooked gently in a plain old pot on the stovetop vs the ones in the pressure cooker. That being said, it does let me go from unsoaked beans to cooked in about 30 minutes, so being able to laze out on planning is a nice cushion to have. Up to you whether that's worth the money and cupboard space for a pressure cooker.

Butch Cassidy
Jul 28, 2010

Pressure cookers use less propane/electricity/natural gas to make beans, saving time and money. That they also make life easier for a ton of other stuff is neat.

If the investment worries you, even an aluminum Presto will offer solid service for a low price.

SymmetryrtemmyS
Jul 13, 2013

I got super tired of seeing your avatar throwing those fuckin' glasses around in the astrology thread so I fixed it to a .jpg
Pressure cookers are useful for all sorts of other stuff, too. I use mine nearly every day for stocks, soups, beans, sauces, braises. Rice, too.

theres a will theres moe
Jan 10, 2007


Hair Elf
I love my pressure cooker with all my heart and the only thing I regret about owning it is that I am not creative/motivated enough to find a use for it every day.

On top of that, it does amazing time warp poo poo to beans.

Get a pressure cooker but take your time, do your research, and wait for a sale.

SymmetryrtemmyS
Jul 13, 2013

I got super tired of seeing your avatar throwing those fuckin' glasses around in the astrology thread so I fixed it to a .jpg
At the risk of turning this into the pressure cooker thread,

Santa Maria Pot Beans
Onion
Carrot
Bell pepper
Celery
Jalapeño or poblano and Serrano
Dried chiles
Tomato and anchovy paste
Garlic
Tomatoes, about a pound
3 cups of mixed dried beans - I use mayocoba, chickpeas, kidneys
Paprika
Cumin
Oregano
Stock

Bring beans to a boil with dried chiles and maybe a bay leaf and let sit, covered off the heat, for 90 minutes. When done, remove dry chiles and blend into a paste.

Cook onion/carrot/peppers/celery until soft, add garlic and pastes, oregano, and caramelize. Deglaze with something if you want to. Add beans and stock, spices, and cook under pressure for 18 minutes. Natural release, then add tomatoes and cook under pressure 7 minutes (quick release). Serve with cilantro and crema.

If you don't have a pressure cooker, buy one. Failing that, you can simmer partially covered for an hour or 90 minutes instead, then add tomatoes and simmer half an hour.

SymmetryrtemmyS fucked around with this message at 02:17 on Apr 9, 2015

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Crazyeyes
Nov 5, 2009

If I were human, I believe my response would be: 'go to hell'.
Nearly every recipe I have seen here, while looking delicious, seems more oriented towards a side dish than main course. I love beans and want to know more. Please advise.

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