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Rumda
Nov 4, 2009

Moth Lesbian Comrade

uPen posted:

Austria is going to be a great power again in a few months so there's not much point unless he can form the SGF as soon as this crisis resolves.

e: Krakow is still alive. :allears:

Well we all know what patter song must do now

Feed the NGF Poles to Karkow!

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ZearothK
Aug 25, 2008

I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021


Seems like you're riding this nicely, despite the bumps on the road.

Are any of the other great powers available for an alliance? I suppose Austria might be willing if they make it, since you have a common enemy and they were your peaceful spheree not to long ago. As Sweden isn't on Russia's sphere it might also be a good idea to recruit them to your cause as a cold wasteland for Prussians to die in.

Patter Song
Mar 26, 2010

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.
Fun Shoe

uPen posted:

Austria is going to be a great power again in a few months so there's not much point unless he can form the SGF as soon as this crisis resolves.

e: Krakow is still alive. :allears:

If Garibaldi would get up off his rear end and form Italy it'd make things a lot easier.

Patter Song
Mar 26, 2010

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.
Fun Shoe
French Madras is one of the most freaky things I've seen in V2, and I'm very curious to see if France decides to continue into India or if it is satisfied with that.

i81icu812
Dec 5, 2006
Glorious Westernized Kingdom of Hawaii. And the Free City of Krakow remains free. :poland:

Patter Song
Mar 26, 2010

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.
Fun Shoe
Played the next update.

I'm going to have a vote in which I beg you guys to reverse the revolution policy. I expect you'll do the right thing.

Stallion Cabana
Feb 14, 2012
1; Get into Grad School

2; Become better at playing Tabletop, both as a player and as a GM/ST/W/E

3; Get rid of this goddamn avatar.

Patter Song posted:

Played the next update.

I'm going to have a vote in which I beg you guys to reverse the revolution policy. I expect you'll do the right thing.

By 'the right thing' you mean we vote 'keep it the same'.

SIGSEGV
Nov 4, 2010


No shooting our own people.

But bombs, mortars, flamethrowers and poison gas are fine.

AdventFalls
Oct 17, 2012

When do we learn head explosions?

SIGSEGV posted:

No shooting our own people.

But bombs, mortars, flamethrowers, swords, spears, poison gas, divine intervention, and the Paradox Curse are fine.

Fixed.

theblastizard
Nov 5, 2009

Patter Song posted:

Played the next update.

I'm going to have a vote in which I beg you guys to reverse the revolution policy. I expect you'll do the right thing.

Please tell me it's German Pan Nationalists

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

theblastizard posted:

Please tell me it's German Pan Nationalists

I doubt it - wouldn't that force a game over?

uPen
Jan 25, 2010

Zu Rodina!

Patter Song posted:

Played the next update.

I'm going to have a vote in which I beg you guys to reverse the revolution policy. I expect you'll do the right thing.

Not using the military to stop the 'Reactionaries are angry at reforms and revolt, removing all reforms which angers liberals who revolt and reinstate reforms which piss off reactionaries etc etc etc' train was a bad idea? Who'd have thought. :v:

Patter Song
Mar 26, 2010

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.
Fun Shoe

TheMcD posted:

I doubt it - wouldn't that force a game over?

Not going to confirm or deny, but being broken by pan-Nats wouldn't necessarily game over us.

Being broken by Pan-Nats would offer Crown From The Gutter to NGF, which, if it accepted, would have to take a bunch of political reforms and lose a bunch of prestige, but which would become Germany and annex us.

The AI doesn't like taking Crown From the Gutter, so we'd probably be fine (I think they'd have like a 90% chance of saying no). We'd only be fine because NGF looks for crowns in nicer places than gutters.

Ethiser
Dec 31, 2011

Why was that even up for vote anyway? I can't see how it could result in anything positive for the nation and it seems like it is only negative for you playing the game.

Patter Song
Mar 26, 2010

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.
Fun Shoe

Ethiser posted:

Why was that even up for vote anyway? I can't see how it could result in anything positive for the nation and it seems like it is only negative for you playing the game.

Because I could have been overthrown by Jacobins and it could have dramatically sped up our reform prospects. At least I assume that's why people voted for it.

Veloxyll
May 3, 2011

Fuck you say?!

Alternatively, because Goons are jerks when voting on LPs. Though I guess they gave me Hivers over Spacedolpyins for SOTS(2)

Patter Song
Mar 26, 2010

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.
Fun Shoe
Chapter V: A Sad State of Affairs (1858-1869)



Bankruptcy. It's something that happens to other people, right? Other people, those from countries that live beyond their means. Deadbeats. Remember back in the days of Good King Max when we laughed at bankruptcy? Before Ludwig II took over and chased his mad fantasies of greatness? Before the endless Anarchist occupation of Kaiserslauten turned it into a depopulated hellscape and before the failure in the Two Week War with Austria turned us into the world's laughingstock?

Yes, I once worked for the old King. You won't find me around much these days...I spend most of my time at the Walhalla honoring the greatest Bavarians of days gone by. There must be a way to bring back their glory. In the meantime, I sit here whistling that catchy Yankee tune.



John Brown's Body is a fun number, is it not? A friend of mine was an observer in the American Civil War and...but wait, you want the whole story, don't you? How Bavaria went from on top of the world to its current state? Sit down, my friend. It started back in 1858.





European power continued to grow in East Africa. As I recall, it was about then that the Dutch launched their ill-conceived invasion of the Islamic holy land of the Hedjaz. The Muslims rallied and drove off the Dutch, but still, as far as I recall that was the only failed colonial venture of the last decade.






Our army, though small in size, was of higher quality soldier for soldier than any other, save perhaps the North German. We devoted ourselves to squeezing yet more cash out of our subjects to fund such an army.




At the time, no one could understand why Britain aided Brazil in an obscure backwoods war in South America. The idea that Britain sought Latin American colonies of its own would have seemed absurd.











Our economy continued to make progress as we developed new factories and new techniques, as well as a new school of philosophy to aid scientific discovery. Shame about that Dred Scott fellow, by the way.






Austria threw off the bonds of Bavarian overlordship and proclaimed itself a Great Power once more, forcing the Ottomans out of Western Macedonia. Russia sided with Austria and we side with whomever is on Moscow's side.




Rumblings from China went unheeded. The rise of Japan, however, was very heeded indeed.




Civil War in America. There was never any real doubt about the outcome. The borders of the rebels gave cartographers fits for years, though.





Factions emulating Marx arose. Liberals retooled their message to adjust to the new climate. Good King Max didn't care...his pet Reactionaries would rule no matter what the voters said.







Only the best for our factories. I can't imagine why people would complain.



Complain they did. Apparently the state labor union wasn't good enough so King Max legalized any and all labor union, so long as it didn't espouse the poisonous rhetoric of Marx.



What fool legalized a free press, anyway?



Even at the height of the American Civil War, invading the USA would be folly, especially for a landlocked country without a navy.





Bavaria's army grew stronger.





Few mourned the passing of the Ottoman Empire, but it gave rise to a new crisis.




King Max refused the Tsar's demand that he be given a free hand dismantling the remainder of the Turkish lands in Europe, but upon Petersburg pressing the point, Munich yielded and immediately set out repairing its relations with its Russian...master?






Oh, Lincoln's invasion of Korea? It was a bold move indeed, but it paid off. The world wondered what Lincoln would do next.



Apparently the Statue of Liberty is quite beautiful. Its unveiling the very day of the Emancipation Proclamation was a savvy piece of political theater indeed.



Russian archaeologists traveled to Giza, followed by French and Dutch scholars. What lay in the mysteries of the pyramids?







New doctrines led to better factories, but also trouble with labor protests. Those pesky unions...



The Siamese are wise. They prey on travelers from landlocked lands.





The Franco-Prussian War. Yes, that was when Crown Prince (soon to be king) Ludwig hatched his devilish scheme, the one that would ruin everything. You see, despite the combined arms of Britain, NGF, and the Ottoman Empire, France and Russia proved hard nuts to crack. Well...at least France did.




Russia's line fell apart and soon there were North German and Danish soldiers in Estonia and Smolensk, but France weathered the wave of North German conscripts sent westward and soon began making progress to the east.



Dead and unmourned, the rebel banner was lowered from Richmond and Lincoln focused all his efforts on the war with Korea and China.





The Geneva Convention. Every civilized nation signed it. There were some surprises on the list of signatories.






King Max is dead, long live Ludwig II. The mad king saw an opportunity in the NGF's misfortune and prepared to launch a major assault northwards.




France overran the Germans and British. Russia wasn't as lucky.




The papers have no sense of patriotism. I don't know who leaked the warplans in their entirety to the press, but whoever it was should have been hung.




Ludwig II found himself bound by his father's promise and did not march on Kaiserslauten. Kaiserslauten is unconnected from the rest of our lands, so the mob found itself trapped, but everything of any worth in that poor town has been looted clean by now.







Our forces made the discoveries necessary to go to war.



The USA signed an annexation treaty with Hawaii as France marched to the Mediterranean.



Ugly, isn't it?



The British really need to defend that Channel.



In 1863, the day had finally come. Was it really five years ago? It feels like yesterday...we were off to such a great start before...well...you know what happened.



That concert at the Declaration of War was amazing. Say what you will about King Ludwig, he knows his music.




Nothing would ever be the same.



Austria rode on our coattails this time. We thought that they merely wanted to sphere the south Germans, but Vienna had a devious plan, the true extent of which didn't dawn on us until much later.



I was actually there at Stuttgart. The realization of how pathetic the men of Wurttemburg were reminded me of the necessity of what we were doing.



Too late, Spain.



It was then that the enormity of what was taking place struck us. An Austria that owned Wurttemburg meant that Federation was impossible. The South Germany Ludwig dreamed of could never exist except over the ashes of the Habsburg empire.



When Russia's away, the mice will play.




The end of the war with France opened up a great opportunity for our forces. Sure, we'd have to deal with the ragged remnants of the NGF force that was victorious in Russia, but we'd be able to occupy the parts of NGF that France was vacating.



The occupation of Berlin had a sour note to it as Austria annexed our neighbor.





In the critical battle of Danzig we wiped out the remnants of the NGF army, the men who had trudged back from Latvia or some godforsaken part of Russia. The NGF bastards put up a damned good fight. We have very few men in Bavaria, you realize. Even two-to-one kill ratios hurt us far more than they hurt North Germany. Nevertheless, for the time being, we had an army and they had not.



Excavating Egypt was and remains one of Ludwig's pet projects.






Tech marches on, as sure as death or taxes.



Or labor disputes, apparently.



Austria won its war against NGF and Britain. Well, we thought that meant we'd have an easy time mopping up NGF.



Then this happened.



Have you seen the Austrian army? Their troops are barely outfitted for the Napoleonic War, let alone modern warfare. Their army is outdated, incompetent, and undisciplined. It also is three times the size of ours and our army was marching around Pommerania. Surrender was the only viable option.



Ludwig loved his little projects.



Did I say little projects? I mean "bankrupting the nation to finance his vanity expedition down the Nile." Bankruptcy had been looming for months as the NGF campaign had lasted far longer than anyone expected, a result of NGF's British ally realizing that we couldn't possibly threaten them. Still, bankruptcy turned us into the laughingstock of the world overnight. It stung.







Some men turned to radical new politics, others banded together to deal with catastrophe, others prepared to backstab their countrymen and go it alone. Ludwig merely buckled down. If Bavaria was going to be ruined by this war, it was damned well going to win it.



Why did Britain summon every friend and ally of the British Empire to invade Nepal? Because Nepal was allied with Bhutan, obviously.



Filled with the spirit of expansionism, Ludwig determined that the taking of Prussia's lands in Wurttemburg, the old Hohenzollern family holding, was the only way to redeem his legacy. Meanwhile, Japan assumed its place at the increasingly misnamed Concert of Europe.



America offered to buy Alaska and Russian Columbia, but shockingly Moscow turned them down.






More factories, better factories. Bavaria had been a Great Power of Prestige once, it would be a Great Power of Industry someday.




Finally Britain conceded. The result of the war seemed hardly worth it. The land was devastated, depopulated, and had a suspiciously large number of Lithuanians.



Greece on the rise, British Empire on the retreat?



I wish they'd stop blasting so close to my chateau.





Ludwig swore vengeance on Austria. It's pointless. When we attack Austria, NGF assaults us. When we attack NGF, Austria assaults us.



In an amusing twist, the Anarcho-Liberal party of Kaiserslauten decided to march across Austrian Wurttemburg to invade Munich. The Austrian Army intercepted them and slaughtered them. Ludwig attempted to restore order to Kaiserslauten but Baden refused to let Bavarian troops through. Kaiserslauten remains under Anarcho-Liberal occupation to this day, and is increasingly filled with starvation and deprivation.




The reactionaries rose. You ask why I'm not in the Walhalla today? It's because the armed band sieging town is there today. King Ludwig is quite antsy about it all. He's bound by his predecessor to let them sack us, but he knows that doing so will ruin our prestige and our chance of ever reclaiming our seat from Japan, and though no monarch is fond of the free press or the unions or the elected Reichstag, he knows he doesn't have what it takes to be an absolute monarch. Some of the Rebels rose on top of our military, but the ones in Munich are home-free unless Ludwig is authorized to kill them.



There's a new philosophy that I've heard hints of. Ludwig wants to research something cheap and then devote all our attention to being the first patrons of this new philosophical school. I suppose that reducing the state's administrative burden is a worthy cause.



We're not the only ones with rebel problems.




Just last month, the Anarcho-Liberals overthrew NGF. Poor old Wilhelm I had to flee to London and a lot of the Hohenzollern line was decapitated. They're an unpleasant bunch. Godless philistines that only worship the Mark. I hear tale that the entirety of North Germany is ruled by fewer than three thousand capitalists and that they're all richer than Croesus. Makes you think, doesn't it?



The British are fools. The Polish cause will bring them nothing but grief.

There's a telegram...a message from our King. Ludwig the Insane sent a speech out by telegraph to everyone that matters in Bavaria. Sign of the times, eh?

Ludwig II posted:

As I speak, armed mobs of reactionaries surround my palace, demanding that I disband you gentlemen and reclaim absolute authority. This is something I do not wish to do. I feel I bear my share of blame for our bankruptcy five years ago and the idea of ruling without your input is deeply distressing.

A. We must put down the rebels and all subsequent rebels to preserve our unique system of government.
B. Reactionary rebels are not representative of the people's will and must be crushed.
C. Slaughtering people in the streets is not part of the duties of a king and we must accept what comes.

In the meantime, despite the collapse of recent years, our prospects are still bright. There are but two clouds on the horizon, and they are the same as they always were. The fall of the House of Hohenzollern does not dim the threat from the north. On the contrary, it worsens the crisis...at this moment, there are men whose swords drip with royal blood who hunger for more. For my blood! Meanwhile, Austria has violated all conventions of morality and statesmanship and has annexed our neighbor Wurttemburg, despite hundreds of years of Wurttemburg playing its role in the affairs of Germany. The mad dog of Vienna and the bloodthirsty savages of Berlin must both be put down, but the second we focus on the one the other rears its ugly head.

1. I have it on good word that Giuseppe Garibaldi will, in the next two years, achieve his dream of uniting the states of Italy under one banner. We will pursue a policy of alliance with the Italians to partition Austria, allowing Italy to reclaim Venice while destroying Austria's army and subjugating them to the Wittelsbach banner.
2. We have no need for an Italian alliance. With or without our Russian friends we march for Vienna as soon as possible, ready to utterly destroy Austria's archaic army and repay them for the treachery they showed Wurttemburg.
3. The true enemy of Bavaria is not to our south, but to our north. At earliest convenience, while North Germany is still reeling from its bourgeois coup, we will invade and wreck this republican abomination.
4. Our last war left us bankrupt and prostrate before our foes. Peaceful rebuilding is our course.

Please give these matters thought. Know that Bavaria will rise again.

Sleep of Bronze
Feb 9, 2013

If I could only somewhere find Aias, master of the warcry, then we could go forth and again ignite our battle-lust, even in the face of the gods themselves.
B - the idea of picking and choosing which violent insurrections to crush based on their liberalism instead of their ability to actually overthrow the government is silly and amusing to me.
1 - gently caress the Austrian traitors. Kill em all, no matter who we have to sit with.

Patter Song
Mar 26, 2010

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.
Fun Shoe
In case it makes any difference, the description of Austria's army as archaic is not hyperbole. Their army is stunningly primitive. It's also three times the size of ours, and quantity is a quality of its own.

AdventFalls
Oct 17, 2012

When do we learn head explosions?
A and 1. Bavaria falls no more.

NGDBSS
Dec 30, 2009






B and 1. :argh: Austria!

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


B
1

Aeromancia
Jul 23, 2013
B 1
After the Austrian situation is handled we march to the North Sea!

fucking love Fiona Apple
Jun 19, 2013

samus comfy so what

A 1

Kill them all.

i81icu812
Dec 5, 2006
Oh no, Hawaii annexed. :hawaii: At least Krakow still stands free.


A1
is the best steak sauce.

Veloxyll
May 3, 2011

Fuck you say?!

A1

social change should not be brought about by whoever can rally the biggest mob.

Our soldiers should practice disbanding mobs on the forces of Austria.

lenoon
Jan 7, 2010

C 1! The will of the people will not be ignored!

Pimpmust
Oct 1, 2008

A2

I mean, really. Italy? :colbert:

ThatBasqueGuy
Feb 14, 2013

someone introduce jojo to lazyb


A1

Yeah, those events can be killer if you're taking out loans, but they're also kinda bugged. Basically they can get you to default even if you could loan the amount to cover it. Usually reload when that happens just because it's so crippling.

theblastizard
Nov 5, 2009

ThatBasqueGuy posted:

A1

Yeah, those events can be killer if you're taking out loans, but they're also kinda bugged. Basically they can get you to default even if you could loan the amount to cover it. Usually reload when that happens just because it's so crippling.

I've had the bankruptcy fire when I was paying off my loans using the pay loans button and the money to pay back in full.

Semquais
Dec 5, 2013
A 1

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

A1.

RabidWeasel
Aug 4, 2007

Cultures thrive on their myths and legends...and snuggles!
B1

ZearothK
Aug 25, 2008

I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021


C1

Kersch
Aug 22, 2004
I like this internet
B1 looks good to me!

Beamed
Nov 26, 2010

Then you have a responsibility that no man has ever faced. You have your fear which could become reality, and you have Godzilla, which is reality.


ThatBasqueGuy posted:

A1

Yeah, those events can be killer if you're taking out loans, but they're also kinda bugged. Basically they can get you to default even if you could loan the amount to cover it. Usually reload when that happens just because it's so crippling.

The bugs in Victoria 2 that still exist really got to me in my recent games. Between that and the combat system still being bugged from EU3: In Nomine, despite being almost fixed in EU4, it drives me nuts.

Patter Song
Mar 26, 2010

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.
Fun Shoe

ThatBasqueGuy posted:

A1

Yeah, those events can be killer if you're taking out loans, but they're also kinda bugged. Basically they can get you to default even if you could loan the amount to cover it. Usually reload when that happens just because it's so crippling.

This is quite true and I forgot about it when the event popped up. Nevertheless, I told myself that I wouldn't save scum.

So we're back in #11 now, but we're about to overtake K2S and Spain's on the verge of bankruptcy, so I wouldn't be surprised if we're back in #9 by 1870. We're going to have to his Austria so hard to kick it back down into the Secondary Powers list.

Kersch
Aug 22, 2004
I like this internet
I've been trying the most recent (final) update for the Pop Demand Mod for A Heart of Darkness and it actually seems like a pretty big improvement. They got rid of the insane soldier pop partitioning, reduced the dig-in cap back to sane levels and brought unit stats back closer to vanilla values, I think.

BrooklynBruiser
Aug 20, 2006
I'm voting B1 because gently caress Reactionaries and gently caress Austria.

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Patter Song
Mar 26, 2010

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.
Fun Shoe
Vote's going to last another two hours...or twelve hours overall. I want to play the next update today.

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