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Abu Dave
Mar 31, 2012


What you came for:

WELCOME TO THE JANUARY THREAD

THIGNS TO CARE ABOUT


Rest of teams no one cares about



A synopsis of 2014 to start:
Liverpool begin their descent as champions elect Manchester City rise on top once again. Arsenal have lots of injuries that will make their battle to stay in the top 4 interesting as new hotcomers Everton Football Association of a town called Merseyside try to obtain Championship quality finish. Manchester United a team equal to the Dallas cowboys continue their slow decline down the tables along with Chelsea who are like the Yankees. American soccer legend Jozy Altidore continues his role as an amazing creative midfielder for team Sunderland. Sunderland will likely be relegated so get your bets in fast friends for Jozys ienvitable trade to a top 4 side probably Manchester City.




BIG NEWS:
*New transfer window opens
*AVB has been FIRED after losing 7-0 to MANCHESTER CITY

*Steven Clark of Westbromwich Albions has been FIRED

*Milky Mckay has been FIRED from Cardiff

*Manchester city are back to win the league
*Crystal Palace hire the greatest manager to get to a Europa League final (I think)


WHAT 2 WATCH 4:
*Big Sam Allardyce to be FIRED

*Ole Gunnar Solskajaer to maybe take over Cardiffs and be disproven like all the other former United players to become manager



GAMES:
No real big matches this month unless you support teams in relegation in which case why do you even poste here

1 January 2014
Arsenal v Cardiff City
Crystal Palace v Norwich City
Fulham v West Ham United
Liverpool v Hull City
Manchester United v Tottenham Hotspur
Southampton v Chelsea
Stoke City v Everton
Sunderland v Aston Villa
Swansea City v Manchester City
West Bromwich Albion v Newcastle United

11 January 2014
Aston Villa v Arsenal
Cardiff City v West Ham United
Everton v Norwich City
Fulham v Sunderland
Hull City v Chelsea
Manchester United v Swansea City
Newcastle United v Manchester City
Southampton v West Bromwich Albion
Stoke City v Liverpool
Tottenham Hotspur v Crystal Palace

18 January 2014
Arsenal v Fulham
Chelsea v Manchester United
Crystal Palace v Stoke City
Liverpool v Aston Villa
Manchester City v Cardiff City
Norwich City v Hull City
Sunderland v Southampton
Swansea City v Tottenham Hotspur
West Bromwich Albion v Everton
West Ham United v Newcastle United

28 January 2014
Aston Villa v West Bromwich Albion
Crystal Palace v Hull City
Liverpool v Everton
Manchester United v Cardiff City
Norwich City v Newcastle United
Southampton v Arsenal
Sunderland v Stoke City
Swansea City v Fulham

29 January 2014
Chelsea v West Ham United
Tottenham Hotspur v Manchester City

HOT BETS TO MAKE 2014:
*Big Sam to be fired
*Meulenstein to be fired
*Manchester City to finish top and win league
*Jozy Altidore to score 38 goals

Thank you for reading my thread.

COOL WEBSITES:
Barclays Premier League official website
American EPL TV Listings
Really cool old photos of Footie

Abu Dave fucked around with this message at Jan 6, 2014 around 14:03

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the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009




Can't see man united winning any games this month to be honest. I'm ready for Everton to win the league

Duncan Sperguson
Apr 21, 2010



the sex ghost posted:

Can't see man united winning any games this month to be honest. I'm ready for Everton to win the league

Same.

euroboy
Mar 23, 2004




I bet you plastics itt don't even know who Solskjśr is sitting next to and which english clubs he played for.

With that said, have a happy new year everyone.

Mr Pepper
Nov 29, 2006

Top Class


euroboy posted:

I bet you plastics itt don't even know who Solskjśr is sitting next to and which english clubs he played for.

With that said, have a happy new year everyone.

That's john madden and he played for Manchester unitards

chaoslord
Jan 28, 2009


I hope that West Brom get a desperately needed win over Newcastle to start the month off on the right foot. Seriously though, we need many points still and this month represents the best chance to do it. Well, March might actually be easier to navigate, but if we get to March still on a skid it will be too late

Blue Screen Error
Jun 11, 2001

For this recipie you will need:</b><br /> Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)


euroboy posted:

I bet you plastics itt don't even know who Solskjśr is sitting next to and which english clubs he played for.

With that said, have a happy new year everyone.

Is it Age Hareide? He played for Norwich and probably some other chumps

Eric Cantonese
Dec 21, 2004



Chicks dig me because
I rarely wear underwear.
And when I do, it's usually
something unusual.


Moyes will go the rest of the season unbeaten.

euroboy
Mar 23, 2004



Blue Screen Error posted:

Is it Age Hareide? He played for Norwich and probably some other chumps

Thats a good guess, well done. He played for Manchester City too.

TheGoatFeeder
Mar 15, 2005

"One Zaba, Two Zaba, Three Zabaleta, Four Zaba, Five Zaba, Six Zabaleta, Seven Zaba, Eight Zaba, Nine Zabaleta, Heeeeeeeeeey Zabaleta"


Happy New Year you lovely bastards

pik_d
Feb 24, 2006

follow the white dove


CisSTAR 19 posted:

Moyes will go the rest of the season unbeaten.

Getting sacked real soon then?

corpuscollossus
Apr 19, 2007



2014 is going to be a sick year for people that like top division English football league watching.

sebzilla
Mar 17, 2009

Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.


Happy New Years to all Barclays players and teams and supporters, let's have a good clean second half of the season and may the best team win unless it's the Chels in which case gently caress Right Off imo

CareyB
Feb 28, 2004



Big 7 now is it. Would be big 8 but Newcastle were described a wee club by fergie.

euroboy
Mar 23, 2004



Norwegian media reporting that Vincent Tans private jet just took off from Kristiansund Airport and that Ole Gunnar Solskjśr is on it. They say he will be presented as their new manager before the FA Cup round this weekend.

http://www.tv2.no/2014/01/01/sport/...27#.UsP48vTuKup

euroboy fucked around with this message at Jan 1, 2014 around 11:16

Pissflaps
Oct 20, 2002




The Archbishop of Banterbury


What the gently caress is that big seven mini league thing ?

Xabi
Jan 21, 2006

Wine For My Men, We Ride At Dawn

Pissflaps posted:

What the gently caress is that big seven mini league thing ?
That's the real league, Pissflaps.

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009




euroboy posted:

Norwegian media reporting that Vincent Tans private jet just took off from Kristiansund Airport and that Ole Gunnar Solskjśr is on it. They say he will be presented as their new manager before the FA Cup round this weekend.

http://www.tv2.no/2014/01/01/sport/...27#.UsP48vTuKup

Just sort of mill about for a few months and wait to inevitably be unfairly dismissed and sue for a fat stack of cash while you wait for man united to get fed up with the moyes experiment, solid career move in this ghosts opinion.

Pissflaps
Oct 20, 2002




The Archbishop of Banterbury


Tbf it does demonstrate how arsenal are in a false position having largely played against the easier teams and city are poised to easily retake the title.

Flayer
Sep 13, 2003

It's always time


Pissflaps posted:

Tbf it does demonstrate how arsenal are in a false position having largely played against the easier teams and city are poised to easily retake the title.
There's more team win points off in the small 13 tbqh

Pissflaps
Oct 20, 2002




The Archbishop of Banterbury


Flayer posted:

There's more team win points off in the small 13 tbqh

What

euroboy
Mar 23, 2004



Stan Collymore ‏@StanCollymore 2m
Tan and Solskjaer walk into Emirates together!

Jacqui Oatley ‏@JacquiOatley 25s
Vincent Tan and Ole G Solskjaer have just walked past us into the Emirates. They arrived in car together. #afc #CardiffCity

It's happening.

edit:

euroboy fucked around with this message at Jan 1, 2014 around 13:59

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005



Don't do it Ole!

atomic gog
Apr 11, 2005


Winner June 2013 POTM


It'll end in tears!

Blue Screen Error
Jun 11, 2001

For this recipie you will need:</b><br /> Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)


atomic gog posted:

It'll end in tears!

It'll end with the biggest contract payoff in football history. Tan must have offered him a staggering wage to get him onboard

Bovril Delight
Feb 22, 2005

My neck, my back, lick my udders and my horns

Can't wait to see how long this lasts

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009




Bovril Delight posted:

Can't wait to see how long this lasts

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer will last an extremely lucky 8 weeks as manager of Cardiff Redbirds

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009




Either that or Big Vince has been watching the Man United 98-99 season review he got for christmas, saw the transfer window opened today and thought 'I'll have some of that' and there's going to be a hilarious mix up when Ole gets told he's starting up front

Insurrectionist
May 21, 2007


Not sure whether Solskjśr is expecting (well, wanting, hopefully he isn't expecting it) Tan's full support, or if he's just jumping on the cash train. He could probably vastly outdo fellow former United player Henning Berg and his Blackburn spell on that front here.

Tsaedje
May 11, 2007


a very unhappy baby whale

How many 8s are in his birthday and is he being paid £88,888 pw?

Eau de MacGowan
May 12, 2009

Just a poor man's Park Ji Sung

Leapord


christ i thought solskjaer was one of the smart ones

Chris de Sperg
Aug 14, 2009




wrong thread

TheRat
Aug 30, 2006



Eau de MacGowan posted:

christ i thought solskjaer was one of the smart ones

He is, I really didnt expect him to take the cardiff job. He must have been offered an absolute fuckton of money.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005



Chris de Sperg posted:

It's pissing it down in London

As it was in Wales.

MrBling
Aug 21, 2003

Oozing machismo

Eau de MacGowan posted:

christ i thought solskjaer was one of the smart ones

I don't know, taking the money and still having the media like you if you get fired seems pretty smart to me. I mean, if he gets fired it will be spun as the whim of a crazy owner by the media no matter how he does.

Bovril Delight
Feb 22, 2005

My neck, my back, lick my udders and my horns

the sex ghost posted:

Either that or Big Vince has been watching the Man United 98-99 season review he got for christmas, saw the transfer window opened today and thought 'I'll have some of that' and there's going to be a hilarious mix up when Ole gets told he's starting up front

player manager, shirt number 88

Eau de MacGowan
May 12, 2009

Just a poor man's Park Ji Sung

Leapord


MrBling posted:

I don't know, taking the money and still having the media like you if you get fired seems pretty smart to me. I mean, if he gets fired it will be spun as the whim of a crazy owner by the media no matter how he does.

this would be extremely cynical. solskjaer had a pretty full career, admittedly before mega super wages became the norm, but he can't exactly be wanting for cash.

you imagine if he took this job for exactly this reason, and it turned out tan just absolutely loving loved him and his baby face? would never counsel firing him? christ, now i want ole gunnar solksjaer to try putting craig bellamy in goal in an attempt to appease tans wish for a scoring keeper and simultaneously trying to get fired, and he just can't loving win.

TheRat
Aug 30, 2006



Eau de MacGowan posted:

this would be extremely cynical. solskjaer had a pretty full career, admittedly before mega super wages became the norm, but he can't exactly be wanting for cash.

"In 2010, the Sunday Times Sport Rich List estimated his personal wealth to be around £10 million, making him one of the richest coaches in British football."

jyrka
Jan 21, 2005


Potato Count: 2 small potatoes


He's taking a very well paying highly prestigious job. Some even say The EPL is the best league in the world. The job security is poo poo at nearly all the clubs.

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mackintosh
Aug 18, 2007

Semper Fidelis Poloniae


He's not doing it for the money. If he did, he could've just as well taken Legia's offer (we were offering something in the vicinity of 3m euros), where he would have had complete freedom, a stable corporate owner and very little pressure put on him. He wants to manage in the Premiership and Cardiff is as good a place as any to start. A mental owner notwithstanding.

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