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Zero Gravitas
Jun 17, 2008

BUT GUYS I ONLY WANT TO COMBAT LIBERALISM


Its the first of January today, which means that according to the Daily Mail and Theresa May () today will see a tidal wave of Romanians and Bulgarians sweeping across the horizon towards the UK and put everyone out of work - despite that the current rate of unemployment is still at the same rate as March 2009.



This is also quite a sad moment as we are no longer in the year that Thatcher died in.


Recent News of note:


BONG!

Nigel Farage in shock "let syrian refugees come to Britain!" speech shocker - although only the christian ones of course. There is a predictable but utterly hilarious from UKIP supporters on the UKIP facebook page.

BONG!

Barclays, the bank at the center of the LIBOR bank interest rate fixing scandal got their comeuppance with the massive fines levied as a punishment - a whole £3.5 million. It was also revealed this week that they had "accidentally deleted" emails about the fixing that went back for ten years, effectively killing off any prosecution attempt in the USA for the fixing.Since their profits were 3.59 billion for only half the year, this means that the fine is less than one-two-thousandth of their operating profit for this year.

Justice!

BONG!

HMRC released a new Wanted gallery for tax evaders - but curiously absent are the usual suspects that are widely known to be funneling their profits through overseas tax dodges like Amazon and Starbucks (who have paid as much corporation tax in their entire existence in the UK as the Costa arm of Whitbread PLC have in just this last year.

They also fail to mention that thanks to government cuts they have just 4 people actually hunting these and other evaders down.

BONG!

The notion of a housing bubble seems to be the zeitgeist of the month as more people sit up and take notice of a problem that has been rumbling along in the background of far more people than available houses -even before bullshit like the Government's bedroom tax took effect.

Combined with...

BONG!

...Even traditionally conservative, capitalist bodies arguing for pay rises for most of the UK, one can draw a conclusion that 2014 has the potential to be a fairly rough ride if there are not significant changes given the rising costs of living and the largely static pay for people over the last four years.

List of Greatest Monsters

Jamie Oliver
Russell Brand
Stephen Fry
Dick Dorkins
Robert Webb

Chat Ratings:

Steampunk pisstakechat:
JamieOliverchat/Boatchat/Frychat: IST VERBOTEN
Saucechat/Crispchat:
Trainchat:
Pyramidchat:
Biotruthschat:
Breadchat:
Toastchat/Naanchat:
A Sloth/Nodrog/Jut/IWCchat:
Moth/Beechat:

Stephen Fry is a poo poo: CONFIRMED!



Previous UK Threads

December '13 thread
November '13 thread
October '13 thread
September '13 thread
August '13 thread
July '13 thread
May/June '13 thread
April '13 thread Thatcher came to this thread to die.
Feb/March '13 thread Warning:
BOGOF Dec '12/ Jan '13 thread with such highlights as my terrible landlady stealing my underwear to make sure I returned the keys and Trickjaw's fight against the bastards of the Work Program.

Two for the price of one October and November '12 thread

September '12 thread.

August '12 thread.

July '12 thread (with links to previous threads and Iohannes definitive Minimum Alcohol Pricing post).

Ninpo's excellent effortpost on the poverty trap that exists for people working up to 16 hours (but no more) a week.


Other threads of interest for the citizens of the UK



Hackgate scandal thread - now with even more prosecutions!

UK Marriage Equality thread

Scottish independence thread

The EDL/UK Fascist watch thread

Please keep in mind the following:

quote:

1. It's not a person's fault if they are poor;
2. It's not their fault if they are disabled;
3. Neo-liberalism doesn't work;
4. The Daily Mail lies (maybe even about Nick Clegg and charity);
5. Neo-liberalism has never worked;
6. The British Empire was not a force for good;
7. Neo-liberalism will never work;
8. Transgendered people are not "men in dresses";
9. Gendered insults are not ok;
10. If something is "so gay" it had better be something that is really happy;
11. Trains are awesome;
12. The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles.
13. ACAB.

Particularly keep in mind these threads have been watched and posters have received a visit from the Old Bill as a result of political opinions expressed in D&D.

The UK threads have been accused in the past of jumping on people who dont conform to the view of the thread. We actually welcome newcomers but expect a certain investment and that includes citing sources to back up your arguments beyond a he said /she said basis. You will probably get some stick if all you can offer in an argument is a second or third hand anecdote while other people are citing census data or scientific studies, for example.

And finally, a couple of pertinent thoughts:

Shadeoses posted:

Her soul was split, kept safe in various trophies to ensure that she would never experience the final death. Most of them were thematically appropriate, emblems of her triumph carefully picked on her rise to power. An orphan's tin whistle. A dead lump of coal. An Argentinian gold tooth.

But there was one more split, one she did not plan for. At the hour of her final triumph she sought out a village in The North and hunted down a family of lower-middle class Scots, intending to use the blood of their child to bring about the final doom. Instead, the mother's faith in the NHS rebounded the killing glare back at her, destroying the sorceress and launching a fragment of her soul into the heart of the innocent baby, locking the two of them in an eldritch union.

With the welfare system gutted, the young man grew up aimless and angry at the world. He died of a drug overdose today, severing her last tenuous grasp upon the world. The. End.

HCO Plumer GCB GCM posted:

How about (aside from the "illegal immigrants don't get benefits" points already mentioned)...

The UK is the 8th largest economy in the world (by overall economic activity), producing around 2.3 trillion dollars per annum, and in terms of GDP, 23rd in the world, ahead of Saudi Arabia (even with all that oil), and France (a country almost twice the size of the UK), and just behind Japan (for many years the economic powerhouse of Asia). The UK is ranked 8th in the world by number of billionaires - with some 37 British nationals individually worth at least 1,000,000,000 dollars. We are 4th in the world by number of Millionaires, with 590,000 households worth 1 Million or more. There's plenty of money .. tons and tons of money. More money than you could even imagine with your puny human brain.

The problem isn't that we don't have money .. it's WHO HAS THE loving MONEY.

If you look around you, and you see poverty, and economic depression, and homelessness and misery and people struggling to get by, it's not because of Immigrants, or gypsies, or scroungers, or the unemployed. It's also not because of the Credit Crunch, or Debt, or Austerity, or an International Banking Crisis. You see all that because all that huge unimaginable shitpile of money is sitting in the pockets of a few smug, smarmy, workshy, self-obsessed plutocrats who, despite having a pornographic amount of wealth .. envy every penny you earn because it's not theirs. They are the cause of the problems in the UK, and one way they keep everyone from realising it, is to pay the editors of the newspapers they own to feed you disgusting lies about immigrants and gypsies and scroungers and your fellow humans struggling to survive, persuading you that they are your enemy.

And you swallowed their bullshit hook, line, and sinker.

Zero Gravitas fucked around with this message at Jan 1, 2014 around 17:28

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Lord of the Llamas
Jul 9, 2002

I Am A Lonesome Hobo

Happy new year! Brought to you by G4S.

On a more positive note I had a loving fantastic time at New Beers Eve at The Hanging Bat in Edinburgh last night!

Kegluneq
Feb 18, 2011


Happy new year everyone

I had a massive and amazing Indian meal, then spent the half hour before midnight on a support forum trying to find out why my Raspberry Pi won't boot

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
Apr 19, 2007

Your President approves this text.


Merry new thing! I am annoyed the greasy spoon near me is shut today. free markets you were supposed to fix this there is a demand for bacon and eggs here

Hypotenewt
Oct 31, 2011


Happy new year UKMT, thanks for keeping me fuelled with the vitriol and rage I require to maintain a sufficiently grumpy British mask of grumbling!

I've had a pretty poo poo year personally with injury, loosing my job, loosing my flat and general boiling rage at the current regime, but with getting a new job, having some new flats lined up and being on new happy pills for my injury things are looking up in my little corner. Hope the year brings nice things for everybody else as well and that all the Tories plans crash and burn in their faces. Preferably before they slime out of things.

Renaissance Robot
Oct 10, 2010

Everything is bad.
Nothing is good.
I never work out


Congratulations, world, on managing to get all the way around the sun again without quite collapsing under the weight of all this nonsense that doesn't stop from happening.

Zero Gravitas posted:

Steampunk pisstakechat:

Think I must have missed this one

e/ vv Oh, that. I checked out for most of it, so

Renaissance Robot fucked around with this message at Jan 1, 2014 around 16:08

Xachariah
Jul 26, 2004



Steampunk pisstakechat would probably be when the e-cigarette discussion was going on, some people were writing zybourne clock fan-fiction with vapourisers in them.

Zero Gravitas
Jun 17, 2008

BUT GUYS I ONLY WANT TO COMBAT LIBERALISM


Renaissance Robot posted:


e/ vv Oh, that. I checked out for most of it, so

I didn't bother posting in that part but drat I nearly busted a rib reading some of them. I think it was reading a var of piss' posts that were really impressive. You should write an entire pisstake novel.

Renaissance Robot
Oct 10, 2010

Everything is bad.
Nothing is good.
I never work out


Holy wow

quote:

the fanfare echoed down through the walls of the buildings and over the amassed crowd of thousands. This was their chapel of glass and steel arching from receptionist all the way up to CEO. Today was the day that they would be vindicated. A thin mist hung in the air that was not a natural mist at all. Looking down into the crowd a CEO could see that each man, woman, child, and baby was puffing a little e-cigarette smugly. The ceremony was well underway and almost at the end. They had already burned the books and hanged the naysayers. The crowd were jubilant. Noisy. Unapproachably loud from any distance. Now it was time for the end.

A 25 foot long e-cigarette was pulled in on wheels by teenage workfare participants and the wouthpiece was angled over to the mouth of Queen Elizabeth. With one big toke she exhaled enough vapour that any CEO looking down from afar would mistake this road - this whole entire block - for a cloud. They would think they were thousands of feet in the air in an island of their own making, with only the jutting spires of the other CEOs to keep company. They could communicate with semaphore. A plaintive wave from the head of GSK across to the man that ran Danske Bank was seen by our CEO in his pillar of glass and steel. Back with the masses and Lizzie's eyes rolled together while the post-toke silence stretched out. Lizzie lifted her left fist up into the air and pulled her thumb out. A thumbs up! A thumbs up!

The crowd each ripped on their vape until they too could commune with their queen. They were one. All hail the vape in this cathedral of glass and steel.

...

He lit a Nicosheen brand e-swaggerette and took a dip drag, sinking farther into his inferior horologue. He thought of Nina and her mellifluous buttocks that he used to love to bang. Even now his nano enhanced hearing could almost hear her vagina lips quivering with moisture and also pleasure, like a slice of synth-ham being tongued by one of Malaprop’s slamhounds. When he got back to City5, he was going to do some sex, no doubt about that. “That’s right doll” he said to nobody and the wind. They were going to do it hard. He smiled, blowing smoke from his nostrils. They were going to do it cyber hard.

...

Ryan Teknon was a hard assed man on a hard assed job. He skipped through customs with a wave of his e-ink ID to the robofficial. He had a secret to keep. Ryan Teknon was a memoryjackker.. a man whose dna was modified to contain super-secret corporate information - information so secret that its release would create the Great Depression but all over again and worse.

Today Teknon had the proof that the E-cigarettes were better for you than both smoking and not smoking. It was dynamite. A cartel of medical officials were already tracing his every move through the WebNet so he could only make this transfer in meatspace. Whoever had this knowledger could control the world. Teknon knew a lot. But he didn't know that today was the day he going to die.

TinTower
Apr 21, 2010

You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.


Kinda concerned that having Nigella Lawson as a History's Greatest Monster leads to the idea that "domestic abuse is okay when it's a Tory" (just as people who shout "ACAB" were suddenly the police's best friends when it came to Andrew Mitchell).

Anyway, check out the border absolutely crushed underfoot by the Bulgamanian hordes.

tooterfish
Jul 13, 2013


"Bulgarians perfect cloaking technology, thousands of invisible foreign pickpockets poised to stalk the streets of London" -- Daily Mail.

e: for more Daily Maily.

penus de milo
Mar 9, 2002

CHAR CHAR

Happy new year, UK Megathread! I'd like to begin 2014 with a fresh start by saying that if you're one of the lurkers currently moaning in GBS 2.1 about feeling excluded from the conversation because nobody's interested in hearing your mouthbreathing ripped-from-the-tabloids horseshit then feel free to keep lurking, or better yet gently caress off back to GBS forever. The thread will probably survive without the casually sexist and transphobic bollocks you intend to fart out like a smug Jim Davidson, but I'm sure there's a SASS offshoot somewhere that would be happy to hear it. You'll be safe from the evil leftist hivemind there, and I bet they don't even know what Monster Munch is.

TinTower
Apr 21, 2010

You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.


penus de milo posted:

Happy new year, UK Megathread! I'd like to begin 2014 with a fresh start by saying that if you're one of the lurkers currently moaning in GBS 2.1 about feeling excluded from the conversation because nobody's interested in hearing your mouthbreathing ripped-from-the-tabloids horseshit then feel free to keep lurking, or better yet gently caress off back to GBS forever. The thread will probably survive without the casually sexist and transphobic bollocks you intend to fart out like a smug Jim Davidson, but I'm sure there's a SASS offshoot somewhere that would be happy to hear it. You'll be safe from the evil leftist hivemind there, and I bet they don't even know what Monster Munch is.

I'm pretty sure that those lurkers, if they existed or not, have SASS accounts already. If they existed, of course.

Renaissance Robot
Oct 10, 2010

Everything is bad.
Nothing is good.
I never work out


TinTower posted:

Anyway, check out the border absolutely crushed underfoot by the Bulgamanian hordes.



Come on, everybody knows vampires don't show up on film

baka kaba
Jul 19, 2003


TinTower posted:

Kinda concerned that having Nigella Lawson as a History's Greatest Monster leads to the idea that "domestic abuse is okay when it's a Tory" (just as people who shout "ACAB" were suddenly the police's best friends when it came to Andrew Mitchell).

Anyway, check out the border absolutely crushed underfoot by the Bulgamanian hordes.



The UK, 2014: literally sending journalists to Bulgaria to scout for signs that an immigrant horde is advancing on Britain

a var of piss
Nov 16, 2013


The list of greatest monsters seems to include a domestic abuse victim.

moselle
Nov 18, 2012


a var of piss posted:

The list of greatest monsters seems to include a domestic abuse victim.

The year the UKMT thread jumped the shark.

Zero Gravitas
Jun 17, 2008

BUT GUYS I ONLY WANT TO COMBAT LIBERALISM


Apparently Keith Vaz went to some airport to stand on the airstairs of a 737 from bulgaria or romania or something today. I would have thought that fucker would have better things to do.

penus de milo posted:

Happy new year, UK Megathread! I'd like to begin 2014 with a fresh start by saying that if you're one of the lurkers currently moaning in GBS 2.1 about feeling excluded from the conversation because nobody's interested in hearing your mouthbreathing ripped-from-the-tabloids horseshit then feel free to keep lurking, or better yet gently caress off back to GBS forever. The thread will probably survive without the casually sexist and transphobic bollocks you intend to fart out like a smug Jim Davidson, but I'm sure there's a SASS offshoot somewhere that would be happy to hear it. You'll be safe from the evil leftist hivemind there, and I bet they don't even know what Monster Munch is.

Lol what?

EDIT:

Adding Nigella in there probably wasnt the best idea. Added her there since there are some thread regulars who believe that she is a massive Greatest Monster because her dad was a tory, like Sargs. Not a genuine monster, unlike at least half of the rest of them. This thread does occasionally go beyond the terrible parodies of itself sometimes.

Zero Gravitas fucked around with this message at Jan 1, 2014 around 17:37

Jut
May 15, 2005

by Ralp


Zero Gravitas posted:

Apparently Keith Vaz went to some airport to stand on the airstairs of a 737 from bulgaria or romania or something today. I would have thought that fucker would have better things to do.


Lol what?

EDIT:

Adding Nigella in there probably wasnt the best idea. Added her there since there are some thread regulars who believe that she is a massive Greatest Monster because her dad was a tory, like Sargs. Not a genuine monster, unlike at least half of the rest of them.

Or that she hosed over her housekeepers to try and cover up her coke habit.

penus de milo
Mar 9, 2002

CHAR CHAR

Jut posted:

Or that she hosed over her housekeepers to try and cover up her coke habit.

Careful mate, you wouldn't want to get banned for wrongthink.

TinTower
Apr 21, 2010

You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.


penus de milo posted:

Careful mate, you wouldn't want to get banned for wrongthink.

Don't be mean to Jut. He just doesn't like MonsterMunchChat, okay?

Feral Jesus
Oct 9, 2003


So what happens if it's revealed that Thatcher was the victim of domestic abuse?

Jut
May 15, 2005

by Ralp


TinTower posted:

Don't be mean to Jut. He just doesn't like MonsterMunchChat, okay?

There is no need for Monster Munch Chat, not when Pickled Onion is clearly the best. Anything else is just trolling.

Serotonin
Jul 14, 2001

The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of *blank*


Feral Jesus posted:

So what happens if it's revealed that Thatcher was the victim of domestic abuse?

Well the world being totally binary, we all jump ship and she becomes a really good person.

What the gently caress sort of question is that?

penus de milo
Mar 9, 2002

CHAR CHAR

Feral Jesus posted:

So what happens if it's revealed that Thatcher was the victim of domestic abuse?

Domestic violence is never OK, regardless of who the victim is. Being a victim of domestic violence does not nullify whatever beliefs and actions belong to the victim. Discussing what a bad person someone is because someone would rather we talk about that than the fact they're also a domestic violence victim is very crass. Are these concepts really that difficult to understand?

There's only one reason Nigella's politics are being discussed this week as opposed to six months ago, and if someone can't see that they're either wilfully ignorant or have an axe to grind.

Zephro
Nov 23, 2000

I suppose I could part with one and still be feared...


This Torygraph article is precious.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukn...ons-lifted.html

quote:


The first Romanians and Bulgarians with unrestricted access to the UK labour market have begun to arrive despite last-ditch efforts to prevent a feared wave of fresh immigration.


Romanians landing at Luton Airport were greeted by Tory MP Mark Reckless and Home Affairs Select Committee chairman Keith Vaz, who said that those arriving today provided just a ''snapshot'' of those expected to come to the country over the coming months.


The 180-seat aircraft from Tirgu Mures only had 140 passengers on board, he said, most of whom already live and work in the UK.
A "FRESH WAVE OF IMMIGRATION" BEGINS AS BULGMANIANS WITH "UNRESTRICTED ACCESS" LAND AT OUR AIRPORTS turns out the flight wasn't even full and most of the people on it already lived here anyway

Radio Prune
Feb 19, 2010


Zephro posted:

This Torygraph article is precious.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukn...ons-lifted.html

A "FRESH WAVE OF IMMIGRATION" BEGINS AS BULGMANIANS WITH "UNRESTRICTED ACCESS" LAND AT OUR AIRPORTS turns out the flight wasn't even full and most of the people on it already lived here anyway

Wasn't it literally 2 people, one from each country?

Feral Jesus
Oct 9, 2003


Serotonin posted:

Well the world being totally binary, we all jump ship and she becomes a really good person.

What the gently caress sort of question is that?

Well people had pointed out an abuse victim being on the list of monsters as if it prohibited them being there so I was just seeking some clarification.

Zephro
Nov 23, 2000

I suppose I could part with one and still be feared...


Radio Prune posted:

Wasn't it literally 2 people, one from each country?
I don't know, the article doesn't seem to say. It looks to me like it's been written straight by the journalist and then the first para was altered by a sub so that it can sort-of (but not really) justify a scary headline.

marktheando
Nov 4, 2006


I didn't think the list of monsters was serious.

HortonNash
Oct 10, 2012


Honey cures all, apparently.

The surgihoney research sets off so many Bad Pharma alarm bells in one go. The Guardian piece isn't as bad as when they had the Hep-C detecting dowsing rods, but it is pretty awful.

e: Happy New Year.

KazigluBey
Oct 30, 2011

boner


Wasn't the Nigella thing also down to how a lot of the "she's bad, look!" stuff suddenly coming out (or getting tons of play, if previously known) as a result of the abuse story, or am I remembering wrong?

Fluo
May 25, 2007

Dank Tea.


penus de milo posted:

There's only one reason Nigella's politics are being discussed this week as opposed to six months ago, and if someone can't see that they're either wilfully ignorant or have an axe to grind.

To be fair I did call out her politics back in 2012 when UKMT were circlejerking over how wonderful her recipes were compared to Jamie Oliver.... [some people didn't even make the connection between Nigella Lawson and Nigel Lawson.]

Fluo fucked around with this message at Jan 1, 2014 around 19:03

Brown Moses
Feb 22, 2002


I was following a recipe of her's recently, and the ingredients said dried thyme, but the recipe referred to fresh thyme. I blamed the drugs.

MrL_JaKiri
Sep 23, 2003

I'm a bloomin' mathematical genius!
BOOM BOOM!


KazigluBey posted:

Wasn't the Nigella thing also down to how a lot of the "she's bad, look!" stuff suddenly coming out (or getting tons of play, if previously known) as a result of the abuse story, or am I remembering wrong?

I am reasonably sure that Saatchi's friends in the media made it so there was wall to wall coverage of "Nigella does bad thing". Meanwhile, if people don't know that Nigel Lawson and Nigella Lawson are related they're idiots.

Orange Devil
Sep 30, 2010

Waar is da feestje?

HIER IS DA FEESTJE!



Greek mate of mine lives in London and has a Bulgarian girlfriend there. She visited the parents for Christmas and has now returned to the UK. Quick, someone phone up the Daily Mail about this!

HortonNash
Oct 10, 2012


Orange Devil posted:

Greek mate of mine lives in London and has a Bulgarian girlfriend there. She visited the parents for Christmas and has now returned to the UK. Quick, someone phone up the Daily Mail about this!

Weren't there something like 200,000 Bulgarians and Romanians in the UK prior to today? What's the bet that we will be seeing those individuals used in the immigration "statistics" to show the new rampaging hordes?

A paper in February will say 200,003 Bulgamanians living in the UK in 2014, and casually forget to mention that all but three of them were here in 2013 too and no tsunami of crime over took us.

Orange Devil
Sep 30, 2010

Waar is da feestje?

HIER IS DA FEESTJE!



Bulgamanians is an abortion of a word please all stop using it.

Jedit
Dec 10, 2011

Proudly representing vanilla Legends since 1994


HortonNash posted:

Weren't there something like 200,000 Bulgarians and Romanians in the UK prior to today?

There were probably at least that many in London alone. London's immigrant population as of the last census was over three million.

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spikenigma
Nov 13, 2005
There is no knowledge that is not power...

Feral Jesus posted:

So what happens if it's revealed that Thatcher was the victim of domestic abuse?

The same thing that happens if it turns out that the pictures of dead coppers gleefully posted in the previous thread died of domestic abuse. Or were part of [insert group].

That is to say handwringing .

OP posted:

1. It's not a person's fault if they are poor;
2. It's not their fault if they are disabled;
3. Neo-liberalism doesn't work;
4. The Daily Mail lies (maybe even about Nick Clegg and charity);
5. Neo-liberalism has never worked;
6. The British Empire was not a force for good;
7. Neo-liberalism will never work;
8. Transgendered people are not "men in dresses";
9. Gendered insults are not ok;
10. If something is "so gay" it had better be something that is really happy;
11. Trains are awesome;
12. The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles.
13. ACAB.

Steampunk pisstakechat:
JamieOliverchat/Boatchat/Frychat: IST VERBOTEN
Saucechat/Crispchat:
Trainchat:
Pyramidchat:
Biotruthschat:
Breadchat:
Toastchat/Naanchat:
A Sloth/Nodrog/Jut/IWCchat:
Moth/Beechat:
Stephen Fry is a poo poo: CONFIRMED!

With the exception of 1 and 2, I hope in the new year we hit all of these + all of the verboaten -chats in the new year. Also, get 8 more added.

Not because I disagree with them per-se (in fact I probably agree with 95% of them in their purest state).

I just can't stand the "...and therefore, communism" suffix. Either real, imagined or implied.

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