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MechanicalTomPetty posted:Not gonna lie, for a second I thought that woman had a crotch-gun.  You were saying?
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Jan 5, 2014 04:51
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I would have been disappointed if Sexmachine wasn't the very next post after that question.
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Jan 5, 2014 05:59
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raditts posted:I would have been disappointed if Sexmachine wasn't the very next post after that question. I'm glad someone did it, 'cause I couldn't find the GIF.
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Jan 5, 2014 06:09
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PriorMarcus posted:I more had in mind that he downloads it into a USB; most likely a novelty one shaped like an American football. Then the guy in 1985-1994 says, "Universal Serial Bus? USB? Kiddo, I KNOW what a serial port looks like! This is just some sort of novelty whistle!"
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Jan 5, 2014 09:46
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So there's a trailer for the Live-Action US version of Kite. The thing is, Samuel Jackson pops up at the start to talk about just how much he loved the original anime and how accurate an adaptation they're making, but the only thing I remember about the original is all the scenes of child sex / rape.
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Jan 5, 2014 15:28
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ookiimarukochan posted:So there's a trailer for the Live-Action US version of Kite. The thing is, Samuel Jackson pops up at the start to talk about just how much he loved the original anime and how accurate an adaptation they're making, but the only thing I remember about the original is all the scenes of child sex / rape. Everything about that looks horrible. Without the right director, Samuel Jackson is cringeworthy.
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Jan 5, 2014 15:45
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ookiimarukochan posted:So there's a trailer for the Live-Action US version of Kite. The thing is, Samuel Jackson pops up at the start to talk about just how much he loved the original anime and how accurate an adaptation they're making, but the only thing I remember about the original is all the scenes of child sex / rape. Ugh. I wish I could erase that movie from my memory.
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Jan 5, 2014 15:48
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Kite? Wasn't that movie both poo poo and pornographic in the worst way?
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Jan 5, 2014 16:05
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Dissapointed Owl posted:Kite? Wasn't that movie both poo poo and pornographic in the worst way? The worst. The fact that Jackson is praising it like that raises all kinds of questions.
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Jan 5, 2014 16:17
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Renoistic posted:The worst. The fact that Jackson is praising it like that raises all kinds of questions. Fortunately, actors often say that they're "big fans" of something when doing movie promotions that they don't care about at all. I really hope that's the case here.
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Jan 5, 2014 16:37
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I remember seeing the vhs cover for Kite when I was 12 or 13 in Blockbuster video. I thought the anime girl on the cover looked so whistful and DEEP (somehow not noticing her unflattering panty-covered asscrack showing, GISing it now) and wanted to see this deep mature cartoon but knew there was no chance my parents would let me because of a rating on back or something. I wish I did. It would've been horrifically embarrassing back then but it would've been a much funnier story. ....they're adapting HENTAI now? why? It's not established as selling well to an American audience and that's the whole reason poo poo gets adapted instead of orginal stories, we're not going to start seeing poo poo like live-action Bible Black or live-action some other horrifying poop-eating tentacle rape slave poo poo in theaters are we 
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Jan 5, 2014 16:57
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 Here's a set pic of Usher as Sugar Ray Leonard in the upcoming Roberto Duran biopic Hands of Stone. The resemblance is certainly there but I remain unconvinced this is a good idea.
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Jan 5, 2014 17:39
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Rita Repulsa posted:
The basic beats are sound, i.e. "Girl's parents get murdered and she gets raised to be an assassin by corrupt detectives" and it sounds like that's basically all that's going to be adapted. Except in this case the girl's dad is one of the detectives but he probably was still killed by the other guy.
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Jan 5, 2014 18:13
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Its going to be really awkward when people try to watch the original film without knowing what it is. Looking at the description for the DVD on the amazon, it doesn't bring up the terrible elements of the movie.
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Jan 5, 2014 18:32
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IShallRiseAgain posted:Its going to be really awkward when people try to watch the original film without knowing what it is. Looking at the description for the DVD on the amazon, it doesn't bring up the terrible elements of the movie. That's because there was a later release where the porn bits were quietly removed (because it turned out that they were wholly extraneous to the plot). Same with the dude's other movie, Mezzo Forte. Don't know whether that actually made either of 'em anything approaching good, though.
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Jan 5, 2014 18:37
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computer parts posted:The basic beats are sound, i.e. "Girl's parents get murdered and she gets raised to be an assassin by corrupt detectives" and it sounds like that's basically all that's going to be adapted. So like a reverse Leon: The Professional?
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Jan 5, 2014 18:50
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DNS posted:
I feel like this should have (would have) been Cuba Jr. back in the day.
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Jan 5, 2014 19:17
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Darth Walrus posted:Don't know whether that actually made either of 'em anything approaching good, though. Kite has a hilariously over-the-top scene where the protagonist is flung like 90 feet by an explosion, through a shopwindow, and is fine since she lands on a bed. That's about it as far as I know. EDIT: It was more OTT than I remembered. This is the only watchable part of the movie. It's still NSFW for violence, though. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rT1V48BTRzM Renoistic fucked around with this message at 19:23 on Jan 5, 2014 |
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Jan 5, 2014 19:19
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Darth Walrus posted:That's because there was a later release where the porn bits were quietly removed (because it turned out that they were wholly extraneous to the plot). It wasn't a later release, it was actually original English release in 2000, the one people like Jackson and Gwen Stefani are probably familiar with, was edited to the point there's only a brief glimpse of naked Kite in it. It was only after loving otaku started complaining about the excised sex scenes that Urban Vision/Kitty Media edited them back in and we got the "Original Cut" and "Director's Cut" versions in 2004. Darth Walrus posted:Same with the dude's other movie, Mezzo Forte. Don't know whether that actually made either of 'em anything approaching good, though. Actually, yes. Because the clean edit generated enough buzz to get a TV show, Mezzo DSA, made.
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Jan 5, 2014 19:21
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Renoistic posted:Kite has a hilariously over-the-top scene where the protagonist is flung like 90 feet by an explosion, through a shopwindow, and is fine since she lands on a bed. That's about it as far as I know. I was hoping for her to step out of the truck's cab at the end.
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Jan 5, 2014 19:39
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HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:I feel like this should have (would have) been Cuba Jr. back in the day. Yeah the Cuba of 15 years ago would've been perfect. I also maintain that Jeffrey Wright of 15 years ago would've been the ideal Joe Louis.
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Jan 5, 2014 20:26
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ookiimarukochan posted:So there's a trailer for the Live-Action US version of Kite. The thing is, Samuel Jackson pops up at the start to talk about just how much he loved the original anime and how accurate an adaptation they're making, but the only thing I remember about the original is all the scenes of child sex / rape. This looks godawful, but at least it will make an interesting double-feature with The Spirit.
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Jan 5, 2014 20:44
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Young Freud posted:There's already been discussion about Lone Survivor among military critics. A lot of the stuff in the book is inaccurate from what actually happened in Operation Red Wings. I'll crosspost from the TFR movie thread to get you up to speed... Most of the complained of errors in the onviolence.com link are either cleaned up in (sat phone, op name, bad guy name) or missing (all the Iraq poo poo) from Berg's script. Shah is described as a bin Laden buddy and the number of Taliban fighters remains exaggerated, but the impetus in going after Shah is "here's a guy who with his men killed 20 Marines last week," not some deck of cards, gallery of rogues poo poo. I haven't read the book, but as far as I can tell the movie has some standard Hollywood *enhancements* of the real story including a fictional gun battle between the Taliban and the villagers protecting Luttrell near the end none of which serve a jingoistic purpose. I'd say the movie is about as apolitical as a war movie can be. It's a fairly modest story about a bunch of extraordinary men dying brutal deaths. Although the SEALs are portrayed as basically the toughest people alive, the military in general is not portrayed as some hyper-competent super do-gooder organization. And given all the entirely accurate color one could throw in about the Taliban, I'd say that group is portrayed with a light touch. The movie is an obvious love letter to the character of the men who are Navy SEALs. It's about their toughness and strength, not the missions/purposes to which their skills are applied by command. And it's sad. I don't know how a person could walk out of that movie thinking "America, gently caress yeah!" I'd be pretty surprised if it had any power as a recruitment tool, there's just too much senseless death. Only Murphy gets a "noble" death, sacrificing himself to make a call for help, and all that does is result in the death of everyone in the helicopter who comes to the rescue. If your definition of jingoism is so broad as to include "noticing the humanity of the troops" then, yes, I guess this movie is jingoistic, because it's primarily about mourning the loss of that humanity. Look at all these incredible men who are now dead due to the ordinary course of events during war. It's a good movie, not a great one. And probably a good pick for this thread because it's too depressing for the jingoism crowd and too admiring for the, well, go ahead and name yourselves, people who insist on viewing military movies through the eyes of an imaginary teabagger (crowd!), so I doubt it breaks even. (And, ha, no Oscar nomination for Wahlberg, but awards from whomever for the stunt guys.) If you're a fan of coherent action/battle sequences and Mark Wahlberg talks to animals, you should check it out. (If you're a fan of beards you should be warned that actors are not operators and do not have the same beard growing abilities.) tl;dr that's not a knife, it's a loving duck.
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Jan 5, 2014 21:21
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solovyov posted:The movie is an obvious love letter to the character of the men who are Navy SEALs. It's about their toughness and strength, not the missions/purposes to which their skills are applied by command. And it's sad. I don't know how a person could walk out of that movie thinking "America, gently caress yeah!" I'd be pretty surprised if it had any power as a recruitment tool, there's just too much senseless death. I've met people who walked out of Full Metal Jacket thinking "America, gently caress Yeah." So you'd be surprised.
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Jan 5, 2014 21:26
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Skwirl posted:I've met people who walked out of Full Metal Jacket thinking "America, gently caress Yeah." So you'd be surprised. Wasn't there also a huge spike in enlistments after Platoon?
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Jan 5, 2014 22:19
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On the topic of Noah early screening spoilers, here's one thing I'd like to know: when you say that the town runs on oil, do you mean they use it for relatively mundane things like fueling their lights and whatever or is there some Biblepunk poo poo going on with ancient oil-powered technology? Given how crazy everything else I've read about this movie has been, I'm guessing it's probably the latter, but I'd like a confirmation one way or the other.
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Jan 5, 2014 22:28
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Stripes was a recruitment tool too.
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Jan 5, 2014 22:33
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solovyov posted:Most of the complained of errors in the onviolence.com link are either cleaned up in (sat phone, op name, bad guy name) or missing (all the Iraq poo poo) from Berg's script. Shah is described as a bin Laden buddy and the number of Taliban fighters remains exaggerated, but the impetus in going after Shah is "here's a guy who with his men killed 20 Marines last week," not some deck of cards, gallery of rogues poo poo. I haven't read the book, but as far as I can tell the movie has some standard Hollywood *enhancements* of the real story including a fictional gun battle between the Taliban and the villagers protecting Luttrell near the end none of which serve a jingoistic purpose. I'd say the movie is about as apolitical as a war movie can be. It's a fairly modest story about a bunch of extraordinary men dying brutal deaths. Although the SEALs are portrayed as basically the toughest people alive, the military in general is not portrayed as some hyper-competent super do-gooder organization. And given all the entirely accurate color one could throw in about the Taliban, I'd say that group is portrayed with a light touch. The whole "ten SEALS die heroically while killing hundreds of dirty savages" makes this sound like a modern day rehash of 300, with all the jingoism and fascism intact. The exaggeration of fighters is key to the jingoist subtext; our enemies must be simultaneously strong as to justify violent subjugation (outnumbered by foreign hordes!) and weak as to maintain the myth of national supremacy (twenty savages dead for each Navy SEAL!). As it stands it's basically a film celebrating imperialism and death that seems more suitable for wartime propaganda, and the treatment of the original incident looks like how Yossarian receives his medals in Catch-22: the military shifts attention away from a massive blunder that cost lives by treating everyone involved as heroes. The whole "Afghans get into gunfights to protect their white savior" is some serious hearts-and-minds bullshit and I don't know how you could read that as not being pro-war.
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Jan 5, 2014 23:24
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Holy poo poo, they're actually doing the Kite movie? Last I heard it was one of those anime projects that's always in and out of development hell. The trailer kinda looks like Nikita, if Nikita were loving stupid.
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Jan 5, 2014 23:41
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Hat Thoughts posted:Stripes was a recruitment tool too. I watched stripes well after I joined and I just thought it was a wholly bizarre depiction of military life.
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Jan 5, 2014 23:46
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Hat Thoughts posted:Stripes was a recruitment tool too. So many disappointed nerds not getting to drive the Winnebago tank.
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Jan 6, 2014 00:15
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wyoming posted:So many disappointed nerds not getting to drive the Winnebago tank. When my uncle, who is probably the most nerdy fucker I know (Like, "original, VHS copies of every episode of every series of Star Trek ever and has much of it memorized" nerdy), was told he'd never drive a tank, he "accidentally" broke his leg and got an honorable discharge. I don't remember whether he enlisted before or after Stripes but it was definitely around that time.
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Jan 6, 2014 00:21
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Doctor Bishop posted:On the topic of Noah early screening spoilers, here's one thing I'd like to know: when you say that the town runs on oil, do you mean they use it for relatively mundane things like fueling their lights and whatever or is there some Biblepunk poo poo going on with ancient oil-powered technology? Given how crazy everything else I've read about this movie has been, I'm guessing it's probably the latter, but I'd like a confirmation one way or the other. It's the latter. Stuff like that is part of the more Aronofsky-esque elements of the film. The world that Noah inhabits isn't the past or the future, it's a kind of Meta-world where all of time is happening at once. Ray Winstone has invented a primeval gun, the town runs on oil, and Noah is said to have been a soldier in a great war; we see a brief flashback/flashforward to him as a US troop. There's even a reference to the Towers of Babylon falling.
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Jan 6, 2014 00:51
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But oil is a product of millions of years of biological matter being under enormous pressure, or if you're a creationist, the flood. Why would there be oil pre-flood? I get this is sort of a timeless time, but is there any indication that the earth was millions of years old at least by this point? Fossil fuel is a weird thing to put into a movie about the Great Flood (even considering magic Eden seeds and scary angels).
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Jan 6, 2014 01:12
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This Bible story adaptation is unrealistic as poo poo
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Jan 6, 2014 01:26
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Perhaps not everything in the movie follows the Christian Bible 100%. Actually, I don't really have an idea about the timeline in the Bible. How long ago was it supposed to take place? With all this talk about how weird the Noah movie is, is there any hope for a giant snake vs demon snakes battle in the climax of Ridley Scott's Moses movie? edit: A picture from Exodus. Looking at that statue in the background, Scott out of nowhere reveals that the movie is actually a prequel to Prometheus.  The MSJ fucked around with this message at 01:33 on Jan 6, 2014 |
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Jan 6, 2014 01:27
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PriorMarcus posted:It's the latter. Stuff like that is part of the more Aronofsky-esque elements of the film. The world that Noah inhabits isn't the past or the future, it's a kind of Meta-world where all of time is happening at once. Ray Winstone has invented a primeval gun, the town runs on oil, and Noah is said to have been a soldier in a great war; we see a brief flashback/flashforward to him as a US troop. There's even a reference to the Towers of Babylon falling. Ooh, this sounds really cool and I kinda wish I didn't know this. Still looking forward to it.
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Jan 6, 2014 01:50
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Dissapointed Owl posted:Do we hear the voice of God? Because it would be pretty wild if Crowe just rolls his eyes back into his skull like he's having a seizure and starts foaming at the mouth while muttering 'yes lord yes I will' every time God talks to him. The voice of God is Morgan Freeman.
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Jan 6, 2014 02:00
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Croisquessein posted:But oil is a product of millions of years of biological matter being under enormous pressure, or if you're a creationist, the flood. Why would there be oil pre-flood? I get this is sort of a timeless time, but is there any indication that the earth was millions of years old at least by this point? Fossil fuel is a weird thing to put into a movie about the Great Flood (even considering magic Eden seeds and scary angels). Creationists can just say, "God did it." There's no need for them to explain the geological features required for the creation of oil. I can't say I've ever heard a creationist claim that the biblical flood caused there to be oil.
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Jan 6, 2014 02:26
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Dissapointed Owl posted:This Bible story adaptation is unrealistic as poo poo I cop to the sperg, I'm just curious! I like the idea that the earth was already old at the time of the Flood, since the usual idea is 1100 years or so. I have no attachment to a particular version of the story, I just hope the oil thing is addressed  E: Random Stranger posted:Creationists can just say, "God did it." There's no need for them to explain the geological features required for the creation of oil. I grew up Seventh Day Adventist and that's how the explain the presence of fossil fuel on a 6000 year old Earth. "God did it" is too silly, they have to tack science on to make it sound smart. See also Kent Hovind. Croisquessein fucked around with this message at 02:37 on Jan 6, 2014 |
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Jan 6, 2014 02:32
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