Tin Tim posted:

Ban all Anime

Livingtrope posted:

Change this guys name to all anime

Say Nothing posted:

QuickbreathFinisher posted:

Sick Monica Lewinski tat, but they hosed up a crucial detail.

Greyhawk posted:

Putin: Your appointment with IOC should be finalized within the week. I've already discussed the matter with the Councilor.

Bach: I take it he was agreeable?

Putin: He didn't really have a choice.

Bach: Has he been bribed?

Putin: Oh yes. Most certainly. When I mentioned we could put him on the priority list for the stadium construction, he was so willing it was almost pathetic.

Bach: These dogs... their numbers are intensifying to the point where we may not be able to contain them.

Putin: Why contain them? Let them spill over the stadiums and venues, let the bodies pile up in the streets. In the end they'll beg us to shoot them.

Bach: I've received reports of armed attacks on shipments. There's not enough pillows to go around, and the journalists are starting to get desperate.

Putin: Of course they're desperate; they can smell their deaths, and the sound they'll make rattling their tarps will serve as a warning to the rest.

utjkju posted:

5-6 times in year i see bears and moose or large deer-like animals in a zoo in city Novosibirsk.
But once i met bear in nature reserve Ergaki. . That day i did not go on a mountain. I was left in camp for climbers.
We knew that in nature reserve Ergaki wаlked bears. They (bears) stole food at camp for climbers. Therefore we hanged knapsack with food on a tree.
But that day climbers which went on the mountain took away cordage.
I moved a backpack far away from tent under a tree that the bear didn't get into tent. Then i cooked food for climbers which went on the mountain. Also I left a pan with porridge near a tree.
I sleeped in tent. I heard that at the camp someone went and rattled ware. I thought that climbers returned. But climbers didn't speak among themselves. This was strange. I asked: "Who here? " To me answered: "rrrrrrrrrrrr". I understood that it was the bear. I told it: "leave" But To me answered: "rrrrrrrrrrrr".
The bear ate all porridge which I cooked for climbers. Then bear left. This was the small bear.
Climbers returned at night. I told them abot bear. They told me that they met bear too. They told me that Lena saw an rear end of a bear and cried: "What terrible rear end! " The bear escaped.
I saw moose when i was in geological practice.

Pick posted:

Anyone who isn't reading the "Ask me about western Siberia" thread is missing out.

omnibobb posted:

Hahaha, holy poo poo, is this stuff real?

omnibobb posted:

Hahaha, holy poo poo, is this stuff real?

omnibobb posted:

Hahaha, holy poo poo, is this stuff real?

Austrian mook posted:

This isn't all too different from what goes on in Canada honestly, people run into bears all the time, they're pretty friendly if you're not between them and their cubs.

Dauntasa posted:

Treadwell ghost posting.

Austrian mook posted:

This isn't all too different from what goes on in Canada honestly, people run into bears all the time, they're pretty friendly if you're not between them and their cubs.

Pick posted:

Anyone who isn't reading the "Ask me about western Siberia" thread is missing out.

CannedMacabre posted:

Canadian bears.

Ein posted:

A buddy of mine followed a man that had done research on the local bear population for many years, it was a local story for the radio. They talked about things like bear migration, hibernation and how many bears there were in that particular region.
When they were done with the field trip/interview my buddy said "I've lived around here for most of my life, and for twenty years I've been hiking, hunting, fishing and staying out for weeks at a time. I've often encountered things like bear poo poo, bear prints and half eaten moose carcasses with smashed skulls, but I've never even caught a glimpse of a bear. Do they just run as soon as they get a whiff of a human in their general area?" He really wanted to see a bear at some point, that's why he was asking this.
The bear expert explained that it's unlikely to just stumble upon a bear, you have to actively search for them, but it's also unlikely that the bears hadn't been watching him on many occasions.

The lesson to be learned from this is that even if you think you're all alone in the wilderness when taking a piss, there might be a bear somewhere looking at your wiener.

Santheb posted:

I feel like there was this divide in the 90s, either you liked the One True Sitcom or you were some ninny that liked Friends.

Seinfeld was funny as poo poo because they made no bones about being terrible people. The Friends were terrible people that didn't seem like it because of their uptempo theme song.

Hammerite posted:

daddy what did you do in the sitcom wars

Centripetal Horse posted:

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. IT’S THE VIDEO OF THOSE TWO BACKYARD WRESTLERS GETTING WHAT THEY DESERVE AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTERS. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM THROUGH MY DINING ROOM TABLE OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP AND GOUGE A THREE-INCH DIVOT OUT OF MY FLOOR WITH MY COCCYX. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ARE STUPID ENOUGH TO TRY AND EMULATE PROFESSIONAL STUNT MEN WITHOUT ANY TRAINING, PREPARATION, OR APPLICABLE KNOWLEDGE. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUT LOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY BRONY MEETUP AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE THAT BRONIES CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JERKS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE GRUNTS, CRIES, AND SCREAMS OF PAIN AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNING.

utjkju posted:

I was not in other countries. In our country are have many places, which i would like to visit. Only when i will execute my desires, I will reflect on visit of other countries.
One of my desires it to visit Ukok Plateau.

This video about Ukok Plateau.

Video by Lyudmila Druchinina
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjDgDx7rwZA

Video by Vadim Chepur.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lb-tOwTt_no

And here on this pass we passed. It is the pass Katu-Yaryk.

Video by Artem Pinaev.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZZlYnTMBzI

Video by Alexander Michelson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fA2dvQhcqi0

no they will not posted:

abe's resumé [pronounced wrong]
-3 years of handing out tiny pamphlets about animal abuse to the homeless. Left by doctor's orders after a kilogram of spiteful phlegm was found to have accumulated about his optic nerve
-contract work as "after" model for a company that cuts off your dick with garden shears and shoots it into space while all your high school girlfriends laugh at you
-contributes to the community via volunteer work as a something awful forums moderaahahahh naw I'm just loving with you
-eats bugs in front of children for quarters
-I hate him
-This bullet point guest written by forums poster pickled kittens: worked as a strategist for g-george w[starts sniggering] george w b[guffaws loudly] george w bu[collapses in hysterics]

no they will not posted:

Abe [with a cardboard box over his head]: computer run program sigma alpha six, of a girl who can look at me without spontaneously developing an eve online account on the spot. engage

Empty Sandwich posted:

I thought the 13th Amendment prevented people from getting owned this hard

zakharov posted:

USA dude fails miserably in biathlon, what a shock. You'd think we'd be good at a sport with guns.

you irl posted:

in fairness to the us competitor, the target hardly looks like a black teenager at all

That Robox posted:

We had to make anti-drug posters to hang in the hallway, one kid's poster said "if you drink beer, you are a queer". It was accepted and hung with the rest.

Skrill.exe posted:

That actually never bothered me. My table is an expensive and unique piece of art that I'm very glad to own, so someone making fun me for it is like someone making fun of me for owning a replica of Michelangelo's David; it doesn't work.
What bothers me is the SA culture in general. I've thought about it at length yesterday, and realized that SA are essentially a bunch of jealous ludites. Here are some examples why that is true:

1) Furry fandom is a community of incredibly artistic people, full of painters, writers, musicians, and entertainers, who organize, put together huge international conventions, and raise hundreds of thousands for charity while contributing tens of millions of dollars to local economies of the cities hosting those conventions. The only thing SA contributed is to make fun of them.

2) SecondLife allowed for unprecedented communication, collaboration, and creativity. Players there got a chance to explore design, fashion, and architecture skills they never even knew they had. They used their creative skills to make new games, experiment with fashion in virtual space, and practice things like investment and business/real estate management before building real life businesses using those skills. People there earned from thousands to millions of dollars using nothing other than their brains and creativity. The only thing SA contributed is to make fun of them by making random penises fly around, and when told that they are causing serious damage and costing actual money, their only reply was, "don't take it so seriously."

3) Bitcoin is a new financial concept entirely without precedent. We are only scratching the surface of what is possible with it. The only reason it has any value (and the thing SA seems to focus most on) is that it is impossible to duplicate, and has a guaranteed limit on quantity, which is extremely unusual in the copy/paste digital world. But besides inflation resistance, it can do awesome things like, for the first time ever, allow software to own valuable property. This was never possible before, w/ closest thing being that a program could control bank accounts or own contracts in someone else's name. Now, for the first time, it's possible for a program or a "virus" to own money, decide on its own how to spend it, and actually take it with it as it travels around the web. The possibilities for AI, concept of property, and ownership/copyright law are mind boggling. This is just one example of many that Bitcoin allows for, and those that realize such possibilities are working hard to make them come true, earning real money in the process (as much as $6,000 a day, or $2.3mil a year). The only thing SA has contributed was to willfully stay ignorant of basic finance and economics and make fun of those involved with bitcoinOther than that, all they are able to do is stare at the system without understanding it, or being able to figure out how to make anything out of it. As they have with SecondLife, or any other fandom or technology.

All this makes me think that SA goons have absolutely no imagination or drive. On the contrary, the group seems to be based around making fun of anyone who shows any sort of imagination, or attempts something out of the ordinary. They are like a pot of crabs, grabbing and dragging anyone who dares try to escape and achieve something back down with them. The group has no accomplishments to its name, other than being a nuisance to everyone else, and providing a circle-jerk of entertainment to its members in the style of bullying people they don't even want to understand. Any discovery of scammers or bad people in other communities is at most a purely accidental result of them being so eager to try to attack anything and anyone. This of course suggests that the SA group consists primarily of losers, who lack any initiative, imagination, or drive, and who's actions only suggest that they are jealous of those who do (which is perfectly exemplified by their whining about how Bitcoin is unfair, benefits early adopters, and their insistence on the belief that everyone involved with it is a selfish idiot who's only philosophy is "F*** you, got mine."). And judging by the few people I know in that group, including even my ex, that seems to be completely true.

My biggest pet peeve is ignorance; especially willful ignorance. Racists, religious extremists, jingoists, and ludites who believe they are right, and everyone else is an idiot, who are afraid of anything they don't understand, and actively try to avoid understanding or learning new ideas. SA is in that group, and that's why I hate them.

Volume posted:

Stories from D.A.R.E

Machai posted:

Gamequoter posted:

Cardboardstu posted:

I want to nominate this entire thread: A Thread In Which Every Day, Abe Gets Owned Really Hard. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3578905

There are some phenomenal burns (as well as some users who are really lovely at it). Starts off slow but some of them are hilarious




My personal favourite (I suck at forums, so here is a link) http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3578905&pagenumber=4&perpage=40#post421422981

no they will not posted:

no they will not posted:

no they will not posted:

Abe Sucks.exe

Tip: if you're having trouble running the .exe, change the Graphics driver in the settings to Direct3D and tick Run in a window

GAMEPLAY HINT:
-Remember, holy water harms Abe
-Abe is weak against Fire, Ice, Lightning, Poison, Wind, Birds, Soap and Heterosexuality
-If you make abe jump off a cliff you get 100 extra lives haha i swear seriously do it
-Follow your instincts...!
-Abe if you're reading this brush your loving teeth
-Right clicking changes between look at/interact/talk faster than the upper menu. There's also a keyboard shortcut, or something. Whatever. I'm done

music by https://soundcloud.com/ideaot and sound effects by Abe's best friend and spirit animal Sheldon Coopster

Call Me Abey posted:

literally the first time I clicked inside of the game



simply incredible

utjkju posted:

If you observe rules that you show respect to daemons. And daemons love you.
If you break a ban, you will be pursued by failures. This is a rule boomerang.

El Gallinero Gros posted:

What did Abe do that got everybody so riled up?

quote:

fell in a terlet :(

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Nothing. Nobody was "riled up"; it was just a joke. That screenshot with the thread titles is as fake as the Snopes page.

Pick posted:

don't worry, i keep my hair very long, my pubes stream out from the bottom of my jeans like a clydesdale

MariusLecter posted:

Context: Winter Olympics

Rando posted:

I'm off to a late start but I feel like challenging myself. I'm going for 50 reads by the end of the year. I think I'm off to a good start. Wish me luck!

1/50 Battle in the Clouds

Mer-Man sees that He-Man's sword gives him great power and wants it for his own. He teams up with Skeletor and they temporarily defeat He-Man so Mer-Man can steal the Battle Ram and Power Sword. He-Man and Man-At-Arms go after Mer-Man in the Wind Raider but it is Stratos that saves the day when he tackles Mer-Man off the Sky Sled several hundred feet and into the ocean.

2/50 Enter...Buzz Saw Hordak

Upon learning of the Towers of Eternia's return, Hordak realizes there is enough power in them to destroy Grayskull forever (interestingly, according to him, he also helped build them!). Hordak captures the Sorceress and devises a plan to lure Randor to the three towers and abduct him. Adam, upon realizing the scheme, changes into He-Man and follows Randor's tracks. Apparently only the king of Eternia can pass through the gates of the towers unharmed, and that is why Hordak has tricked him into coming.

Upon arriving, Randor gets hurt, while He-Man mops up with Hordak's cronies. He-Man checks on Randor and sets after Hordak, who is inside the Central Tower. Hordak turns and greets He-Man nicely, but runs out of the tower in disgust because the tower is making him good. Outside, Hordak tries to destroy the tower with his Hurricane powers, but they are gone.

The Sorceress and He-Man can't understand how Hordak has been made helpless. Angered, Hordak lashes out with his new Buzz-Saw powers. He-Man defends himself, and Hordak leaves to learn about his new powers. He-Man comments that Hordak has clued them to the fact that the Towers enable time travel and how to enter the towers, and that they have a greater foe to face now.

3/50 Box of Lucky Charms

Magically delicious Lucky Charms cereal features frosted oats and colored marshmallows. Made with whole grain, Lucky Charms is fortified with 12 vitamins and minerals, and is a good source of calcium.

4/50 Microwave Oven Owners Manual

PRECAUTIONS TO AVOID
POSSIBLE EXPOSURE TO
EXCESSIVE MICROWAVE ENERGY

TwoPair posted:

That was awesome. Hopefully (although probably not) a nice coda to all the recent forums drama.

Anyway,

NecroMonster posted:

someone should for real troll TED talks by just getting up and galting them all to see how long/how many people leave or how many of them clap and nod their heads like loving idiots

Big Beef City posted:

A teacher killed my entire family then arsoned down the rest of my sleepy country town, killing hundreds.
He later killed himself and manifested as a ghost over the smouldering rubble of the town. They had to salt the earth and move the few remaining villagers nearly 20 miles away to a new village.

No one really talks about it much.

Nanomashoes posted:

A treacherous, greedy catholic Patrician and Holy Roman Elector was teaching a class on Pope Innocent III, a known heretic.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the Pope and accept that Catholicism is the one and only faith founded by Jesus Christ, even greater than Nestorianism!”

At this moment, a brave, Greek, Varangian soldier who had killed over 1500 Turks and understood the legitimacy of the Eastern Roman Empire and fully supported all its economic, social and military reforms stood up and held up a map of the Holy Land

"Who should own this land, Brutus?"

The arrogant Venetian smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “The crusaders, you stupid heretic”

”Wrong. Its been over 2000 years since Alexander the Great conquered it. If it was not owned by Arabs, and Catholics, as you say, should own the land... then the crusaders should have conquered Jerusalem by now."

The Patrician was visibly shaken, and dropped his ducats and copy of the Roman Misal. He stormed out of the room crying those ironic catholic tears. The same tears catholics cry for “the Crusaders” (who today live in such luxury that most bathe daily). There is no doubt that at this point our Patrician, Enrico Dandolo, wished he had been Orthodox and supported the Komnenoi struggle against the Turks. He wished so much that he had the Imperial Sword to kill himself from embarrassment, but he himself had pawned it off to the Capetians!

The students applauded and all applied for Roman citizenship that day and accepted Manuel Komnenos as their Basileus. A double-headed eagle named “Byzantium” flew into the room and perched atop the Hagia Sophia and shed a tear on the chalk board. Epitaph of Seikilos was sung several times, and Constantine the Great himself showed up and converted all Catholics to Orthodoxy.

Cubbies posted:

Out of curiosity I decided to check out the KKK website. Very poorly made, but they do have t-shirts for sale!

M_E_G.ADI.K posted:

Do they have hoodies?

Theresa Frontpage posted:

Sometimes a thread is so bad that posting in it and reading it actually makes you into a worse poster. The DOTA thread is like a terrorist training camp