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Earwicker posted:I know several Asian people who have been flat out disowned by their parents for dating or marrying white people. They are all either Indian or Sri Lankan, but those are still part of Asia! wahahaha, I didn't know about this happening
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# ? May 17, 2014 23:08 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 14:59 |
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DEKH posted:I don't get along with the passive aggressive culture that typifies most white folks in the Midwest.
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# ? May 18, 2014 18:13 |
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Coolguye posted:I'm from Kansas City, and this struck me. Where, exactly, in the Midwest were you? I've got tons of family in Minnesota and have lived in both Nebraska (Lincoln/Omaha area) and Kansas City (Kansas side, but I work on the Missouri side). And one thing that I have very much learned about Midwestern people and complaints is that there is absolutely nothing passive about their aggressiveness. If someone's pissed at you around here and you don't know why, it's because your rear end was simply not paying attention, because they will tell you when they see you. Repeatedly. Often without prompting. Minnesota. It is gross generalization I am making, you are right, and generally applies mostly to Lutheran and Catholic families. But I still very much experience it. The larger point I was trying to make (and did a poor job of explaining) is that while I am an English speaking white guy, I am not "from around here". There are lots of little cues and cultural signifiers that white people take for granted that I didn't know. I grew up in ex pat communities made up of Brits and Aussies and American military brats surrounded by Muslims and Buddhists. When I moved back to the American Midwest as a teenager I wasn't returning home, I was joining a new foreign culture. I didn't dress right, and while i spoke English with the same Midwestern absent as my parents, I didn't know the lingo. End result is people think you are weird or rude because you Don't have the same socialization. Dating outside my race and ethnicity was liberating for me because my partners were on the same playing field; we had to actually communicate rather than rely on cultural assumptions.
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# ? May 19, 2014 03:11 |
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Oh yeah, I forgot about how a lot of the Lutheran communities do business in Minnesota. You're definitely right on that account. I remember rolling up with my dad one year to see some of his old college buddies. That was a minefield I don't intend to dive again any time soon.
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# ? May 19, 2014 19:19 |
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I dated a Japanese girl for about a month. Until it just happened to come up in conversation, I had no idea she was nearly double my age. I have no idea if that's normal for Japanese people, but it was weird as hell for me. Her English wasn't great, though better than my Japanese. It was fun trying to figure out how to communicate, using a bastard combination of both, but it did lead to some misunderstandings. The biggest problem was that Japanese people don't let on when they don't understand something, they just nod and smile. That nearly got her in hot water when she thought her visa was expiring, didn't understand what the guy at the visa office was telling her, and didn't tell him she didn't understand. Instead, she brought me along on another trip there. I basically just got him to get another staff member who speaks Japanese. DrPastah posted:wahahaha, I didn't know about this happening Thanks for letting us know, buddy! Nice avatar, by the way.
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# ? May 20, 2014 03:30 |
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Hydrolith posted:I dated a Japanese girl for about a month. Until it just happened to come up in conversation, I had no idea she was nearly double my age. I have no idea if that's normal for Japanese people, but it was weird as hell for me. Trying to figure out at what age this would be possible. I mean, many Asians have the aging well stereotype, but twice your age? 10-20 obvious, 16-32 obvious, 20-40 obvious, and it really just gets worse from there. I mean I could see like (Age - 18) * 2, but anything else seems rather extreme.
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# ? May 20, 2014 03:39 |
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si posted:Trying to figure out at what age this would be possible. I mean, many Asians have the aging well stereotype, but twice your age? 10-20 obvious, 16-32 obvious, 20-40 obvious, and it really just gets worse from there. I mean I could see like (Age - 18) * 2, but anything else seems rather extreme. Early 20s to 35-ish, probably. I have a friend that's half Malay half Chinese and she looks about 17 but she's 23.
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# ? May 20, 2014 04:31 |
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si posted:Trying to figure out at what age this would be possible. I mean, many Asians have the aging well stereotype, but twice your age? 10-20 obvious, 16-32 obvious, 20-40 obvious, and it really just gets worse from there. I mean I could see like (Age - 18) * 2, but anything else seems rather extreme. Nearly twice my age, not twice my age. She was 40, I was 26. I just assumed she was around my age. Hydrolith fucked around with this message at 05:13 on May 20, 2014 |
# ? May 20, 2014 04:45 |
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Here is an update that I am sure no one really cares. Tomorrow morning I will be breaking up with M. I know, I'm a jerk, doing it on the first day of Ramadan, before he starts his shift at work. However it's either tomorrow, face to face or its through text. It's become clear that his family is messed up and trying to keep "secret" relationship is getting harder by the minute. They are abusive, lazy, manipulative and truly believe they are gods gift to the world. I have never meet a family who loved to brag about how much they have "sacrificed" in life. Meanwhile they refuse to take any responsibility that adults should be taking. So they have M do EVERYTHING. I would write about it but I may as well write a book. I have to fight with M to spend any time with him. When we do, it has to be planned at least a week in advance. He will arrange it as if he's trying to book a doctor's appointment. This relationship stopped being fun and just become flat out frustrating. TL;DR - IT's a very messy situation. Still. It was awesome reading all of your personal experiences. I learned a lot thanks to you guys. I have was able to figure out what was cultural differences and what wasn't. I got to read funny stories and learn what to expect. Thank you everyone!
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# ? Jun 27, 2014 21:36 |
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She was a nubile young lass of Japanese origin. I was the tall, mysterious stranger in the fedora and black khaki trenchcoat. The night mist hung heavy around us as we slow-danced to one of Sting's later period offerings, a sumptious melody played on an Frankish lute. She leaned close to me and whispered: ファーヅーナンドくん、日本語上手ですね。。。 I pecked her lightly on the cheek. She was my Tokyo Rose. Nothing could tear us apart.
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# ? Jun 28, 2014 01:21 |
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I'm sorry to hear things didn't work out, OP. For me the only time I was dating interracially was a biracial (black/white) girl (I am white) and obviously she had the experience of being black which I didn't which leads to things like she is comfortable making racial jokes which makes me squirm because white people, but that's no different from black friends. So basically I noticed no difference whatsoever, but I wasn't her first white partner or her first female partner - apparently they both caused issues with her family at first but they got over them that one time and didn't have issues with it anymore. I even borrowed her hair products and found that hair products aimed at black women often do wonders for curly white-people hair. Her family do seem to have issues with her sister who insists on dating white men and only white men, but that seems weird to me too?
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# ? Jul 12, 2014 14:04 |
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Second the sorry to hear that OP; but you have to learn when to say no more; which can be a hard thing in IR relationships - God knows I've been in that place as well. Still, all the best to you.
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# ? Jul 13, 2014 14:35 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 14:59 |
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Samovar posted:Second the sorry to hear that OP; but you have to learn when to say no more; which can be a hard thing in IR relationships - God knows I've been in that place as well. Still, all the best to you. Thank You. It was not easy. However, I am getting by. Keeping myself busy.
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# ? Jul 13, 2014 15:04 |