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I'm mixed Native Canadian (Ojibway and French-Canadian) and my boyfriend is as white as they come (a redhead of Scottish ancestry). The only time we really have problems with discrimination is when we're together at aboriginal community functions, some people will eye him or speak to me and not him. While it does bother him (and me) a bit, he's an advocate for Native rights and can understand why there's distrust of white people in the community.
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Jan 20, 2014 18:50
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Most of my relationships in my adult life have been interracial. It's not something I do consciously, it's just sort of worked out that way. I'm as white as the driven snow, for what that's worth. I'll only mention the two that lasted the longest for now. My first relationship was with a black woman from South Carolina. Her family was initially fairly suspicious of me, but when they had a chance to have a meal with me and found out I'm a churchgoer, they loosened up pretty quickly. A few months in, they loved me. They were generally pretty entrepreneurial, and they really enjoyed bouncing ideas off me. I also made it really easy to catch their friends being hypocritical assholes. A couple of times we'd be riding around, and I'm a fairly quiet sort so I preferred to be in the back seat of the car, reading books while we drove. So some of their (black) friends would start going on some tirade and slamming out the n-word like it was going out of style, and I'd just continue to read, not commenting or anything. Somewhere between 2-5 minutes into the rant, they'd remember there was a white dude behind them and start in with something like "Oh honey, you can't say that word, we try to bury that word, but it don't stay bury!" Which would quickly turn into my girlfriend's mother or aunt turning around and snapping "Girl, he been there all day, I been here thinkin' 'Oh here come the double standard! Here it come, here it co--there it go...'" I wouldn't say a goddamn thing during these exchanges, I was just laughing so hard. My girlfriend always considered it mildly embarrassing. Eventually we broke up because she was psychologically disturbed. She seemed perfectly fine when we started dating, but as time went on she had more and more problems controlling her anger. She never hit me or anything, but she would get more and more difficult to deal with, and eventually I heard something vague about her getting some more intervention and I never really saw her again. I tried to call her mother to figure out what was up, but she politely told me that my girlfriend couldn't handle a relationship in her life right now, and she was respecting that. In hindsight, I would've expected no less. Having me hanging around probably would've hosed stuff up if my current understanding of her issues is accurate. My other relationship was with a second-generation Chinese woman. There is less to say about this - her grandmother was the Chinese immigrant, and her mother had grown up in Georgia. The end result was that she was very Americanized, but there were weird cultural collisions every now and then, mostly surrounding how she was supposed to act toward 'her man'. I expect to have to do everything myself, since I grew up really independent, but I'm also quite absent minded and can forget where my keys are even if they're in my hand. So she would spend what seemed like a massive amount of effort keeping track of everything I touched so she could answer my inevitable questions on where the hell I put down my doohickey. This came to a head not because I found this behavior unendearing (quite the opposite) but because she did it to the exclusion of other things, like finishing school and getting a career of her own. I told her very explicitly I'm big on independence and working hard, and I never saw her doing that. Ended up breaking up with her because it was obvious her ambition was really just to be 'a good housewife', regardless of what she said otherwise, whereas mine is to do something really big with my life.
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Jan 20, 2014 20:23
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Right, so I'm white American (Euro-mutt), married to a mainland Chinese woman who had come here for grad school. We met when we were invited by friends to a dinner organized by a student group named, aptly, the China-US Relations Forum. I was taking Mandarin Chinese courses and minoring in Asian Studies, while she was a huge English nerd growing up, so we both already had great interest in each others' culture and language. I like to joke that dating her was the only time I ever actually used my Asian Studies minor. We had a tiny wedding in the US, practically eloping in an Army chapel in Fort Jackson, SC (attended by a few friends and my mom), followed by a big Chinese-style blowout wedding in Chengdu, her hometown (attended by a shitload of her cousins and my mom.) I wore a goofy-rear end hat, gave a torturous wedding speech in Sichuan dialect and got hammered on baijiu toasting with the guests. She's the only person in her family to leave China and one of the few to even leave her hometown, which I initially thought would be a big point of friction when it came to dating-then-marrying some laowai, but for some reason it wasn't remotely an issue. We've been married over 4 years now and the only protestations so far are them asking about kids. My own family hasn't been an issue either. My paternal grandpa was in the Air Force, so my dad, aunts and uncles spent their childhood in places like Japan and the Philippines, and my maternal family is just a bunch of ultra-nice Okies, everybody loves her all the same. I guess I'm just lucky not to have a Racist Aunt. A couple Tea Party types, sure, but nobody patting me on the back for "at least she's not one of them." I guess the only interracial downside(?) to this relationship is that American Chinese food has been completely ruined for me. Boris Galerkin posted:Anyway, I'm really curious for the Chinese people posting here or the ones dating Chinese: how do y'all deal with the topic of parental retirement? From what I understand and have been told, it's very common and somewhat expected that the mother/father is going to move in with the son/daughter at some point so that they can be taken care of. I personally can't stand staying at my parents for more than a few days when I'm visiting. I can't imagine having to have my parents/in laws live with me and my spouse. My wife's parents are older than average, and are already retired. They came for an extended visit once but for the most part they've never made any noises about coming to live here and, as far as I know, haven't made many noises about us going to live there. I knew this was A Thing going in, but so far they've remained independent and seem to prefer it that way. We do send them money every month, but they're so frugal they've hardly even touched the bank account we're depositing to. My wife has indicated that she'd like to move back to China one day, but she always mentions places that are not her hometown, so I don't even know if in-law cohabitation is going to happen.
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Jan 21, 2014 00:38
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He Who Wears Pants posted:I guess the only interracial downside(?) to this relationship is that American Chinese food has been completely ruined for me. The trick is to completely divorce it conceptually from Chinese cuisine. It's American food and so long as you think about it like that, it's fine. Just ignore any dishes that you can actually get in China (like Kung Pao Chicken) and stick to the things that don't exist on a real Chinese menu.
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Jan 21, 2014 16:03
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Baldbeard posted:It's depressing to think that to a lot of families being a loving and supportive spouse/parent is literally secondary to adhering to the family traditions. I grew up with almost no family, and find it very hard to deal with partner's (who are extremely family oriented) families. I wish M just did that. One night he invited me to go to a pub in which his friend was hosting a party at. We both do not drink but we like to be around people. It was our first time together alone, outside of work. We hit it off and end up ignoring most of the party and chatting one on one. After the party I invited him to my place for tea. We were doing a sort of 20 questions to get to know each other. He asked "why am I really here?" I replied "what do you think?" I told him I liked him, thought it would be nice to invite him for tea, spend some time with him. He replied" I can't be anything more than a friend." He did a whole a speech about how he was happy to my friend but he couldn't be anything more. I thought because he is a bit of loner, and from what i gathered from our conversations, just a real picky guy, I kind of rolled my eyes. I made some arguments why he should give this a try. We chatted a bit more, flirted a little, and he left, very much affected by my argument. I remember just falling on my couch after he left and thinking "I'm in trouble." The next day I left this guy i was sort of seeing but really was only interested in his looks. M and I met up, spent a whole day together and the rest is history. The thing is, he KNEW we shouldn't be together because there was no way his parents would approve. Yes, he said something at first but he didn't stand his ground. Because of that he put me in a lot of emotional rollarcoaster. In a way he lied to me and gave me false hope. I really wish he didn't do that to me. So I agree with you, if the person very well knows that their family and culture comes first, then why go through these relationships?
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Jan 22, 2014 04:18
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DrNewton posted:Yes, he said something at first but he didn't stand his ground. Because of that he put me in a lot of emotional rollarcoaster. In a way he lied to me and gave me false hope. I really wish he didn't do that to me. He told you no in the first place. No means no. It's not his fault he didn't "stand his ground" when you kept badgering him. If you accepted what he said in the first place, there would have been no emotional roller coaster. You gave yourself false hope. He said no. A successful relationship doesn't start with one person badgering the other person into it when they've stated in the beginning that they aren't interested. Just think what would have happened if you weren't so pushy. You two could be good friends and not have all this crap between you.
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Jan 25, 2014 00:06
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chemosh6969 posted:He told you no in the first place. No means no. It's not his fault he didn't "stand his ground" when you kept badgering him. If you accepted what he said in the first place, there would have been no emotional roller coaster. You gave yourself false hope. He said no. A successful relationship doesn't start with one person badgering the other person into it when they've stated in the beginning that they aren't interested. I didn't badger him. He said we could be friends EVEN though he clearly stated that he has feelings for me. I said fine. But at the time I thought he was just being shy and a little picky because of what he told me about his previous relationships earlier that day. I just made a little argument on why he should CONSIDER giving it a go. He went home, I figured nothing was going to happen. Instead he calls back a few days later saying he was interested. He called telling me this while knowing his parents would not approve, and not telling me "btw, my parents do not like me dating white girls" until later on. Even if I did badger him, he is still accountable for his actions. IF I was being a bitch and he kept saying no, cut ties with me, whatever. He didn't.
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Jan 25, 2014 01:28
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Really interesting thread and interesting stories, guys. Thanks for sharing, everyone. I'm from the States, white, blond hair and blue eyes. I've been living abroad the past four years in China, working for an American-Chinese education consulting cooperation. Anytime you are a foreigner in a country like China, you have opportunities to have interracial relationships. I don't really think the race aspect of it matters all that much...the culture can be a huge difference, though. If I was dating a third generation Chinese girl in the States, I don't think it would be that significantly different than dating the girl I dated in grad school. Maybe I'm wrong in that regard, I honestly don't have any experience with that in the States. I learned pretty quickly over here how difficult it was going to be to successfully date a girl that has been born and raised here in China, without much experience abroad. Culturally, it is almost impossible for me. That isn't to say I haven't tried, but there are so many aspects of Chinese culture especially that are just inanely frustrating to me. I've been completely independent since I was 18 and the idea of living with your parents and never wanting to move away is crazy talk to me. I'm not opposed to staying in China, but I've lived in like 11 different places, so I just would never be able to stay in the same place for a long time without going totally bonkers. I've cut it off once or twice with a girl that there hadn't been any problems yet but you could see them coming from a mile away. Successfully, I dated a Taiwanese girl who studied in the States and a Chinese girl who lived in New Zealand for a while. There were still cultural issues but they weren't nearly as damning. With a common background and understanding (her living in the West, myself living in the East) you can make it work, but it can still be difficult. Both times it ended because both of them moved away. Sad, but the way of life. The girl I'm dating now is Japanese and we've talked about getting married. We met in 2010 before she went back to Japan in 2011 and she came back to the town that we are living in last summer for a two year thing for work. She's great. The only REAL problem is that she doesn't speak English. I got HSK (Chinese fluency exam) level 4 and she has level 3 (out of 6), so we talk in Chinese. It's my third language and her second, so that can be a little difficult for us. It's funny living in China when people ask her something and she asks me, and I have to answer, and it is obvious by her accent she isn't Chinese. I went home with her for New Years this month, and got to participate in all those crazy Japanese New Year traditions. At first I was quite nervous about going with her. She lives in a farming community on the southern island well outside of Fukuoka and I didn't know how well I would be received. However, everyone in her family was AMAZING. Her cousin married an American a few years ago and I think he probably took the original blows of confusion and uncertainty. So I'll have to get him a beer the first time we meet. There's little things that are kind of cute she says bother her, like if I don't wear my slippers when I get up from the couch to go to the fridge. Or after a shower, if I don't dry 100% of my body and it is a little wet, she gets frustrated and tells me to go back and dry myself more. She takes her temperature every morning at 6:45 to know if she is sick or not. It's kinda cute. My friends laugh that I spent four years learning Chinese to date a Japanese girl, but that's the way it has worked out and life is funny like that, I guess. The Great Autismo! fucked around with this message at 07:46 on Jan 25, 2014 |
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Jan 25, 2014 07:38
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I'm an American living in Outer Mongolia and dating a Mongolian girl who speaks no English, and I speak very basic Mongolian. It sucks.
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Jan 25, 2014 08:38
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In Spain and Guatemala, the "you're not wearing your slippers!" thing has come up for me countless times (not in the context of a romantic relationship, sorry for the minor derail). I always try to figure out what it is about my culture that makes me hate to hear "but you'll get COLD!" and what it is about their culture that provides a strong imperative to intervene on behalf of someone else's comfort.
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Jan 25, 2014 08:45
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Tequila Sunrise posted:I'm an American living in Outer Mongolia and dating a Mongolian girl who speaks no English, and I speak very basic Mongolian. It sucks. When I was in Mongolia last year for holiday I had a really awesome time, with the strange dichotomy of looking around and thinking every Mongolian girl I saw was unbelievable beautiful but never understood a freakin' word I was saying. It was rather frustrating at the time.
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Jan 25, 2014 09:06
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goldboilermark posted:When I was in Mongolia last year for holiday I had a really awesome time, with the strange dichotomy of looking around and thinking every Mongolian girl I saw was unbelievable beautiful but never understood a freakin' word I was saying. It was rather frustrating at the time. I have tons of people tell me how gorgeous Mongolian women are, and I can agree with that when I'm in the capital. It's a different story out here in the Gobi. Around 60% of the people in my village are over 50. Besides that, it should be no surprise that people who spend their entire lives in tents in the middle of a desert that is freezing for 8 months out of the year don't age very gracefully.
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Jan 25, 2014 13:44
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The Macaroni posted:"Daddy is light brown, mamma is dark brown, and I'm brown like chocolate. Makes perfect sense to anyone who isn't stupid." I tell my hybrids "Mums black, dad is white and you're the right colour"
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Jan 25, 2014 19:54
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I'm very white, and for whatever reason I've dated a lot of people who aren't. With the people I've dated the real problem wasn't anything to do with how the world at large viewed our relationship or difficulties relating to one another because of cultural differences, but good lord parents can be a problem. In high school I dated a Taiwanese girl who, when her parents found out we were dating, just straight up made her break up with me. I think that I was kind of the sacrificial lamb in that regard, because now they've pretty much rectified themselves to the whole idea and she can date other people just fine. Unfortunately, even when parents are on paper ok with it problems can still arise. Later on I dated a korean girl and good lord her parents were so well meaning but I just constantly committed minor gaffes (that they would correct me about in a kind but oh so disappointed way) to the point that I was just afraid of meeting them. There have also been some other little hiccups, but none that were terrible. LIke, when I dated a Brazilian random people we met would fetishize her, which was really uncomfortable, or when I dated a greek Cypriot the turks in the area would give me poo poo. But in between people I personally haven't had so much trouble. Tequila Sunrise posted:I have tons of people tell me how gorgeous Mongolian women are, and I can agree with that when I'm in the capital. It's a different story out here in the Gobi. Around 60% of the people in my village are over 50. Besides that, it should be no surprise that people who spend their entire lives in tents in the middle of a desert that is freezing for 8 months out of the year don't age very gracefully. I always felt like this whole "x ethnicity is really pretty" thing was really odd, and then I visited Lebanon. It's still wierd, but I guess I'm guilty of it too.
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Jan 25, 2014 20:25
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RIP ZEEZ
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Chupe Raho Aurat posted:I tell my hybrids "Mums black, dad is white and you're the right colour" My older brother is from my (white) mother's previous marriage to a black dude. When I was real young I thought you just got a random color kid (my best friend when I was that age was also from an interracial family so that certainly helped me further cement these notions) and my 5'3" white-as-driven-snow dad was my then-6'0 pretty dark-skinned older brother's actual father. I think my mom was happy with the naive color blindness I had going on and didn't want to spoil it prematurely. I imagine when she married a black man in the 70's it wasn't a popular decision and she dealt with a lot more stuff most people in this thread have. She always said only one of her two sisters and her then-groom's sister came to their wedding, which meant they could have a very cheap 4 person reception.
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Jan 26, 2014 03:57
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Magna Kaser posted:My older brother is from my (white) mother's previous marriage to a black dude. When I was real young I thought you just got a random color kid (my best friend when I was that age was also from an interracial family so that certainly helped me further cement these notions) and my 5'3" white-as-driven-snow dad was my then-6'0 pretty dark-skinned older brother's actual father. I think my mom was happy with the naive color blindness I had going on and didn't want to spoil it prematurely. I imagine when she married a black man in the 70's it wasn't a popular decision and she dealt with a lot more stuff most people in this thread have. She always said only one of her two sisters and her then-groom's sister came to their wedding, which meant they could have a very cheap 4 person reception. You remind me of Barney from How I Met Your Mother. Having a black brother and not really getting why and in some ways not caring either.
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Jan 26, 2014 04:44
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http://metronews.ca/news/world/922939/love-life-of-israeli-pms-son-sparks-uproar/ Here is an article about Israels Presidents son. He's dating a non Jewish Norwegian girl. Now everyone in Israel has to put their two cents. A lot of it is hate towards the young boy. Thought it would be interesting to share.
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Jan 28, 2014 01:39
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DrNewton posted:Here is an article about Israels Presidents son. He's dating a non Jewish Norwegian girl. Now everyone in Israel has to put their two cents. A lot of it is hate towards the young boy. Thought it would be interesting to share. Yeah that is a lot of terrible poo poo, though not really surprising coming from the ultra-orthodox who are very blatantly racist against non-Jews and consider intermarriage a heinous crime. However I did not realize that they held a monopoly on weddings in Israel and that it was not possible for interracial couples to get married there, that's terrible if true. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the older and more distant members of my family felt that way about my relationship (my family is not orthodox but some are Conservative Jews, who as a group also frown on intermarriage though not to the same extent) but they have never said so to my face and are very hospitable to my girlfriend. Earwicker fucked around with this message at 01:51 on Jan 28, 2014 |
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Jan 28, 2014 01:48
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I'm mixed and dating a third-gen East Asian lady. It's funny because she doesn't know a word of Chinese or follow any of the traditions while I do. Her parents like me and my parents obviously don't give half a poo poo about race. My grandparents would flip poo poo if any of us ended up gay or married a black person though. No problems growing up or anything, being in a large, young, immigrant-heavy city is probably the best place for mixed children and interracial relationships!
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Jan 28, 2014 05:26
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Black/Hispanic dating a white dude in the deep south  It's actually pretty hilarious. Our cultures are a bit different because I wasn't raised here, but we get along fine and agree to disagree if it's a subject in which we have completely different opinions. Also, we're both American so there aren't any country differences. Thankfully, his family so far has been really chill (I love his grandma, we play cards together  ) and the only one who is apparently racist I will probably never have to meet. On my family's side, there's a bit of white mixed in with the black and my father was latino so basically no one gives a poo poo. There have been Hispanic female friends who can't see what I "find attractive in white men", though.The really interesting reactions are from strangers: -Black men get mad when they see me with him. -White women get mad when they see him with me. -Older black AND older white couples give us the stinkeye. -People in restaurants never make the connection that we're together. -Girls will flirt with him in my face, only for me to say "come along dear" or something and watch their faces fall like a kid denied a Christmas present. This rarely happens in reverse with men hitting on me when he's around, probably because he's 6'2 and built like a linebacker. The only bad race-related thing to ever happen was when we were driving around bar-hunting one night. We were fairly close to one and wondering if we should park and check it out when a bunch of drunk bikers standing in the bar's parking lot started screaming "He's with a friend of the family! Oh poo poo, a friend of the family! Look, friend of the family! friend of the family!" and started to move towards us as a group. Good thing we were in a car that was already moving so it was easy to haul rear end.
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Jan 28, 2014 13:21
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Decoy Badger posted:No problems growing up or anything, being in a large, young, immigrant-heavy city is probably the best place for mixed children and interracial relationships! I disagree. You'll find that folds of the other race of children will still have problems with interracial relationships and mixed race kids will get picked on by the others for being different.
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Jan 28, 2014 17:04
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My parents have always never really cared about who I date, which is not surprising seeing as how they're an interracial couple aswell (my mother's romani, my father's indian, and he had some horror stories of his parents and their disapproval - not only was she not Indian, she was one of them) I dated a Japanese girl and finally got to meet her parents and it was an interesting experience. Her mother had absolutely no issues, which I found surprising. Her dad was the main problem, who was terribly polite but made it rather clear that he disapproved and I wasn't good enough for his daughter. Standard stuff there, I suppose. The weirdest thing was that they didn't speak english terribly well, so my girlfriend had to translate, and I still get the feeling to this day that she was changing my words to get her parents approval. It was kind of sweet how she was so desperate for them to like me.
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Jan 28, 2014 21:25
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chemosh6969 posted:I disagree. You'll find that folds of the other race of children will still have problems with interracial relationships and mixed race kids will get picked on by the others for being different. I was speaking from personal experience growing up in Toronto, but I can see that happening. Nobody amongst my siblings experienced that though.
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Jan 28, 2014 22:32
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Decoy Badger posted:I was speaking from personal experience growing up in Toronto, but I can see that happening. Nobody amongst my siblings experienced that though. Hello fellow Torontoian. How are you? It shouldn't be a problem that people date outside of their race, and you see a lot of it in Toronto. However, I notice that a lot of youth who are dating outside of their race are first/second generation. Meaning their parents still have the mind frame that they had in back at home. Thus is creating problems here in Toronto. M's parents kept telling him that they didn't care who he dated, as long as it was a proper Muslim. Now I am seriously considering of converting to Islam (have been thinking about it for a while now). Technically they shouldn't have a problem. Not the case. The truth has come out. Right away they tried to come up with excuses as to why we are not a good match. Now his mother is dropping lines like "... well if you are considering marriage (we're not at the moment), you should think about how important it is to keep the bloodline strong." Little hints here and there. In reality they want him to marry a nice, submissive Pakistani girl who will take care of them when they are old. Most importantly she must deal with their bullshit without speaking up. It's unfair for M, he is stuck between the old lifestyle and the new. He grew up in the GTA, he loves western culture, considers himself an Canadian. His parents on the other hand can't comprehend this idea.
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Jan 29, 2014 01:53
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chemosh6969 posted:I may have missed it since most people just seem to be saying "Asian" but has nobody married anyone from Japan and then run across a US vet that was over in Asia during WWII? Especially those that fought at Okinawa? I haven't had anything rude ever said to me but there was some "why". My ex-fiancee was Okinawan, I'm white American. Her parents were born in Okinawa during the Occupation, so in other words they were born in the US and had US passports since the island wasn't returned to Japanese control until 1972. Her grandfather was killed in the Battle of Okinawa. The first time I met her parents was a week after the biggest anti-US base rally so far, literally 1/3rd of the island's local population showed up. They were completely fine with me, guess I just got lucky? When we told them we're getting married they were fine too. I don't know if they were secretely opposed to it but if so, they/she didn't let on to anything. They were very hospitable. The only US vet I know who was in Asia during WWII is my own grandfather, but he died back in 1992 IIRC (I was 8 years old). So he wasn't around to say anything rude. Not that I think he'd really be bothered by it anyway, he was pretty chill from what I remember. zmcnulty fucked around with this message at 03:53 on Jan 29, 2014 |
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Jan 29, 2014 03:51
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I'm white, my wife is Mexican. She was born here, but shortly after her parents decided to move back to Mexico. She ended up spending most of her childhood in Mexico. I'm impressed with how easygoing some goons are with their relationships, I guess I might be a bit more stubborn and narrow minded than some (I'm getting over it). My wife is bilingual, and speaks English with no accent which gives people the impression she is more americanized than she is. On the contrary, she is pretty closely connected to her Mexican culture. I've learned a great deal from her through these things, and in so close to her family that "Mexican" stuff is more normal to me than than "gringo" stuff. Her and her family are much bigger sticklers about manners than my family. In spite of the differences, our families get along well. One thing I love about her family is how involved they are with us. They have been extremely helpful in things I'd have to beg my own family for help. My wife is often puzzled why my gringo family and friends will solicit help on Facebook for some household project- why aren't their families offering? Her family are the hardest working people I know. They came here with nothing and built a good life for themselves. Everybody is lazy compared to my mother in law.
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Jan 29, 2014 18:01
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Cuckoo posted:The really interesting reactions are from strangers: 
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Jan 29, 2014 21:54
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chemosh6969 posted:I may have missed it since most people just seem to be saying "Asian" but has nobody married anyone from Japan and then run across a US vet that was over in Asia during WWII? Especially those that fought at Okinawa? I haven't had anything rude ever said to me but there was some "why". A while back, a bunch of the surviving vets from WW2 pacific theatre (USA/JAP) met and traded back belongings that were taken during the war. America and Japan have been working together since the 1950s (the detailed story is much less inspiring, so only ask the reason if you want to be disappointed), and I think that hatred is mostly gone.
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Jan 29, 2014 23:37
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Eulogistics posted:A while back, a bunch of the surviving vets from WW2 pacific theatre (USA/JAP) met and traded back belongings that were taken during the war. America and Japan have been working together since the 1950s (the detailed story is much less inspiring, so only ask the reason if you want to be disappointed), and I think that hatred is mostly gone. Depends on the vet. We have a large retirement community and some of them just couldn't understand why anyone would marry one of them. Those would be the guys that wouldn't be willing to meet to trade back belongings.
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Jan 30, 2014 02:26
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Cuckoo posted:-Older black AND older white couples give us the stinkeye. One of my favorite things is seeing mixed race couples, especially older ones. It makes me inexplicably happy. I do get stinkeye from older Asian couples when we're out, but I could just be misinterpreting general grumpiness. And shorter Asians stare at me and the husband some times. It's amusing.
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Jan 30, 2014 18:43
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My entire time growing up in a white American family, we did all of the following:
e: vvvv The shoes thing in particular is the one that I'm now a 100% believing convert on and think my parents are just dumb. Omnomnomnivore fucked around with this message at 20:50 on Jan 30, 2014 |
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Jan 30, 2014 20:40
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What's with Americans wearing shoes in the house? Do you purposefully want to track filth all over your house or something? Everything else seems normal, but I've noticed that's one big difference between Americans and Canadians/Europeans. Do you clean your floors every day or what?
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Jan 30, 2014 20:47
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Omnomnomnivore posted:My entire time growing up in a white American family, we did all of the following: Given my father's atrocious dish washing habits vs my mother's astringent ones, I think it depends on where the Chinese person was from, and how old they are. Also, personality type. PT6A posted:What's with Americans wearing shoes in the house? Do you purposefully want to track filth all over your house or something? Woah woah woah. As an Asian American, we wore shoes in the house because we had a dog in the house. Taking your shoes off because you're afraid of dirt once you have a dog is pointless. Nice areas or bedrooms, shoes are off. If your shoes are extremely gross, they stay outside the house. I hear this wet/cold place I live now has these mystical things called "mud rooms" specifically for this purpose. some of us have house shoes vs outside shoes. We vacuumed every 3 days, because dog. Also, children.
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Jan 30, 2014 20:57
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squigadoo posted:Woah woah woah. As an Asian American, we wore shoes in the house because we had a dog in the house. Taking your shoes off because you're afraid of dirt once you have a dog is pointless. Nice areas or bedrooms, shoes are off. If your shoes are extremely gross, they stay outside the house. I hear this wet/cold place I live now has these mystical things called "mud rooms" specifically for this purpose. Do you mean slippers, or do you have a separate pair of actual shoes (that could be worn outside) that are just for indoors? General dog-messiness is also different from outdoor-shoe messiness. My entryway generally has tons of mud, salt, gravel and other crap that gets brought in on my shoes or boots, usually stuck in the tread of the sole. I can't imagine tracking that all over my apartment...
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Jan 30, 2014 21:06
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PT6A posted:What's with Americans wearing shoes in the house? That's certainly not just Americans, I've been in plenty of countries where wearing shoes inside is quite normal, unless it's snowing or something and your shoes are covered in stuff PT6A posted:I can't imagine tracking that all over my apartment... That's why there is a mat outside the door to wipe your shoes on if necessary, but most times just walking around in an urban or suburban setting your shoes aren't likely to get so dirty that you'll track mud all over the place. I mean if you work on a farm or something and constantly have mud covered shoes that's a different matter of course Hell even my ASIAN girlfriend's family sure don't take their shoes off in their house and I don't remember anyone doing that in Sri Lanka, so it's not even universal in Asia Earwicker fucked around with this message at 21:50 on Jan 30, 2014 |
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Jan 30, 2014 21:43
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Omnomnomnivore posted:My entire time growing up in a white American family, we did all of the following: To be honest I've found the shower thing to be a girl thing rather than a culturally different thing, even my sister prefers to shower at night rather than the morning.
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Jan 30, 2014 21:51
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Entirely likely some of that stuff is more personal or gendered than cultural. Like, the fruit thing comes partially from my health inspector father in law who's super strict about food sanitation. In general I still see East Asian norms about cleanliness as somewhat stricter than the ones where I came from, though.
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Jan 30, 2014 22:38
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My Chinese in-laws don't even keep their shoes in the house, they go out on the balcony where they get to steep in that smoggy Wuhan air (along with their supply of dried meat and fish). That having been said, I'm a night-showering American-born and raised white guy. I prefer to get that extra few minutes of sleep in the morning.
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Jan 31, 2014 01:00
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Cuckoo posted:Black/Hispanic dating a white dude in the deep south As a white woman dating a black guy in Philly, it is really funny how this mirrors our experiences just with opposite genders. Our cultures mesh fine, it's the strangers' reactions that stick with me as well. -Black men go out of their way to congratulate my boyfriend, yell approval from cars as they drive by, randomly compliment him on the street for bagging a white girl. It's really uncomfortable for both of us -Black women tend to give me more death glares and have occasionally muttered things like "white bitch" when we walk past. White women often do a double take but don't seem mad, just really confused -Never noticed blatant stinkeye from old people of any race (that might be more of a Southern thing) but got a lot of nasty comments from middle aged "Irish/Polish" American men at the pub where I bartended. Eventually I quit and walked out one night when a group of Union Worker regulars told me they would only leave a tip if I stopped dating "that friend of the family". Whom they had never met or seen, only heard about. -Girls always try to wedge between us at bars to dance with him (he's black, he must love to dance right?!), and guys will blatantly hit on me and buy me drinks despite the fact that I am standing next to or holding the hand of my large 6'6" boyfriend -Older interracial couples beam at us a lot  Two car stories: One night we were walking in the city on a fairly crowded sidewalk when a car stopped next to us with two black guys in the front yelling "Yeah, get that white girl! YEEEAAAHHH!" while the 3 black girls in the back seat booed loudly and told my boyfriend to "get a real woman". Another time mid-day, a truck full of several drunk frat type boys drove past us and one of them screamed "Niiigggeeerrrr!". That was it. Just a random slur yelled at us while we were walking our dog. Hilariously, they hit a red light at the next block and my boyfriend (a track coach, super sprinter, and as I mentioned earlier is quite tall and imposing) quickly jogged up to their truck, leaned down to the passenger side window and politely asked "Excuse me? Didn't quite catch what you said back there". They all silently stared straight ahead and then ran the red light to get away. Pilot to Gunner fucked around with this message at 10:08 on Jan 31, 2014 |
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Jan 31, 2014 09:42
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 22:16 |
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PT6A posted:What's with Americans wearing shoes in the house? Do you purposefully want to track filth all over your house or something? It must be a regional or class thing or something, taking off your shoes was expected in any house I've ever been to.
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Jan 31, 2014 10:55
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