|
More interracial stories, please. Debate forum is ^ that way. Thanks. Husband and I lived together in Manhattan for years, and never got so much as a batted eyelash over our pairing. Hell, people barely noticed us, even though we're gay, and were living in a poor neighbourhood. People had more important things to worry about, like how loud they could get their speakers on their cars. You'd think that we'd get some kind of push-back in the middle of nowhere Midwest where his hometown is, but that's not been the case at all. People have been friendly and welcoming. Come to think of it, one of our family friends (Indian) recently (like maybe three years back?) threw her daughter a huge wedding (to a white man), and there's been absolutely no problems for them either. Funnily enough, it was that his family's not really religious, but the girl's rather devoutly Catholic that caused the majority of the issues from her church. They made him go through some kind of CCD (?) to get into the Catholic fold, which he was happy to do (because he is religious, but wasn't fussed about which church specifically). His family's like really conservative, and old school, and has been living in that area since forever. You'd think they'd be hateful, but they're not. They love their new daughter, and dote on her and her husband. 
|
#
?
Mar 5, 2014 20:40
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 29, 2024 00:14 |
|
|
dino. posted:You'd think they'd be hateful, but they're not. They love their new daughter, and dote on her and her husband. This. As a white guy in South Africa dating african and indian girls, I expected way more pushback than I got. Some people I knew couldn't deal with it, and I had no problem cutting contact with them - everybody else, including parents, have always been open and friendly, and it's really made me feel much more positive about a country that couldn't field a proper deaf interpreter for Mandela's funeral.  Yes, some people don't handle that kind of thing well, and some forms of racism are more subtle than others - but the vast majority of people I've met have been very cool, and it's made me feel much better about humanity as a whole.
|
|
#
?
Mar 5, 2014 21:02
|
|
|
dino. posted:They made him go through some kind of CCD (?) to get into the Catholic fold, which he was happy to do (because he is religious, but wasn't fussed about which church specifically). This is a common thing in more traditional Catholic churches, regardless of race, or religion of the non-Catholic partner (it's required even for Protestants, usually). Many churches won't allow a Mass and wedding unless the partner converts. CCD is the Confraternity of Christian Doctrine. It's primarily for children, but there are expediated 'courses' for adults. It's to get someone ready for First Holy Communion and Confirmation, which makes someone an adult member of the Church.
|
|
#
?
Mar 5, 2014 21:14
|
|
Thundercracker posted:I think my point is really that, if there's a skewed populaton of lonely Asian American males out there, I'm not really seeing it personally. Like, off the top of my head I can't even think of a single one of my friends who's single. But then again, I'm fully willing to admit that my own experiences do not reflect the majority in America, and also maybe it's due to my age (thirties) that it might look differently for the younger set. I'm in my mid-30s for the record. We went from one asian kid in my class in third grade to approaching majority Chinese in 20 years (huge Hong Kong communism fear wave followed by "immigrant investor" program that allowed mainland Chinese to buy Canadian citizenship for $750,000). Their attitudes may be different than American Chinese, or Canadian-born Chinese, but I'd say white male/asian female outnumbers the reverse by at least 20 to 1. Similar numbers for white/East Indian couples, who are the second biggest minority group. No one gives a crap either way, but it would be foolish to deny the lopsidedness of it all. The military theory doesn't work here either due to virtually no military.  I'll admit this is a bizarre situation here though with different dynamics than the rest of the continent.
|
|
|
#
?
Mar 6, 2014 05:04
|
|
|
necrobobsledder posted:That is, substantially less than 1% of Asian males are as appealing on dating sites compared to median / average white, hispanic, or black males measured by message responses, profile views, and a couple other variables measuring interest. Well isn't that just incredibly depressing.
|
|
#
?
Mar 6, 2014 07:52
|
|
|
monkeipeg posted:I'm moving there in a few months. Come visit me! Just kidding ( but not really, it's going to be lonely at times and I will miss the black folk (okay kidding for real, Norway has plenty of black people, just not so much in the smaller town where I'll be)). That's going to be a huge adjustment, but I'm sure you'll be fine there. My fianc asked when we started dating if I would move to Russia with him (as a joke) and I responded, "NO WAY!!" I've heard too many stories of West African and Indian students being stabbed and beaten up to death in major cities. I would love to visit but Russia feels very dangerous now for anyone who is not white. I've had mostly positive reactions from African American, West Indian and Afro Latino folks about my hair regardless of age and gender, the only negative comments (which are few) and frowns have come from West Africans. I understand that wearing natural hair in West Africa is a huge taboo now but in NYC its pretty popular for black women to wear their hair out. I also know more Americanized West African women that are natural (yay!). I'm not sure how popular it is the rest of the US but when I visited the Bay Area I've only noticed a couple of women that wore their hair naturally. For myself, natural hair made me feel more accepted as a black woman, something I didn't experienced when I relaxed my hair pin straight and even though white people and other POC still ask the "what are you?" question, at least black people know that I'm black. Back on topic: I've noticed that the interracial relationships in my circle of friends and acquaintances go beyond your typical Asian Woman / White Man and White Woman / Black Man relationships commonly found in the US and Canada. I know another West Indian woman engaged with a man of Eastern European ancestry, an Afro-Latino woman with an East Asian man, a mestiza from South America with a French man, a white woman with an indigenous South American man and au contraire most of my 2nd-generation East Asian female friends don't date white guys.
|
|
#
?
Mar 6, 2014 20:19
|
|
|
squigadoo posted:What did she do with her maiden name? Did she not move it to her middle name and leave it on the license? No, she threw it away. Her dad left her mom when she was 8, and she hates him with a passion, so she changed it to my last name with a quickness.
|
|
#
?
Mar 6, 2014 21:26
|
|
|
necrobobsledder posted:I think that was the study done by CMU several years ago. The results were something like "to be equally attractive to women on these dating sites as an Asian male, you'd need to make at least $200k / yr and be 6 feet tall while this does not hold for any other ethnicity." That is, substantially less than 1% of Asian males are as appealing on dating sites compared to median / average white, hispanic, or black males measured by message responses, profile views, and a couple other variables measuring interest. The authors of the study were obviously alarmed and triple checked their math because of the serious implications if the math is right but they couldn't refute the results. Honestly, I just think they forgot to filter out the fake profiles that plague these sites but I think they also wrote a paper on detecting fake profiles so I may sadly be wrong. Can you or someone link to this study? I can't seem to find it anywhere.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2014 00:37
|
|
|
I think I aggregated multiple papers together mistakenly in the process but I think the majority of what I was thinking about (aside from the math, that was in a separate paper) came from this particular paper http://home.uchicago.edu/~hortacsu/onlinedating.pdf I suspect I read an analysis of that paper by other researchers that conflated with these conclusions to leave me with that impression after these years. If you look for citations of that paper, you may find some derivative work that more closely explores the racial factors and better estimates the so-called "handicaps" of different race and sex combinations. Glancing over that paper again, it's far-fetched to come up with the sort of stuff I wrote earlier from that one paper alone for sure. If you have archives, I'm pretty sure I got the papers originally from posts on the forums here around 2006 - 2008 (possibly in gassed threads now). They might have been in that old OkCupid thread even.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2014 04:38
|
|
|
I'm a white Canadian dating a Japanese girl. Her parents weren't crazy about me but they never really interfered either. I think they've mostly come around now. As for more interesting cultural problems, I've had to accept that things that seem silly or unimportant to me matter a lot to her. So I'm going to be changing my socks before bed, being careful with my shoes and regularly changing the air in the apartment. The only really bad thing is that she can be incredibly indirect so she sometimes ends up mad while I have no idea what's going on. It's gotten a lot better but I still feel like I have to ask a few times if something is really ok with her.
|
|
#
?
Mar 8, 2014 06:36
|
|
|
Dr_Amazing posted:The only really bad thing is that she can be incredibly indirect so she sometimes ends up mad while I have no idea what's going on. It's gotten a lot better but I still feel like I have to ask a few times if something is really ok with her.
|
|
#
?
Mar 8, 2014 11:34
|
|
|
Dr_Amazing posted:and regularly changing the air in the apartment. I change the air after almost every meal. What does this mean, exactly?
|
|
#
?
Mar 8, 2014 16:03
|
|
|
Fragrag posted:Can you or someone link to this study? I can't seem to find it anywhere. I don't think this is it, but OKTrends did some completely not-scientific stuff about it: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/
|
|
#
?
Mar 8, 2014 16:40
|
|
|
More anecdotal evidence: growing up in Toronto (Chinese) all the way through to university, my group of friends all thought of dating white girls was some kind of difficult achievement. Met a group of Chinese kids in their early twenties in Vancouver recently (I'm 27 now) who toasted someone for dating a white girl. So I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that the Asian male inferiority complex is a thing, at least for the younger people. Pilsner posted:Does white man + Asian woman spark reactions anywhere though? I guess I could post about my Scandinavian man & South Korean (but adopted as a baby) woman relationship, but it's so uneventful that it barely feels worth mentioning, thankfully. I feel for the goons who posted about black + white relationships; that must be a challenge. If you wanna believe Wikipedia, there's the Women and Offspring section of this article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitutes_in_South_Korea_for_the_U.S._military Which kinda says all you need to know about that kind of relationship in South Korea.
|
|
#
?
Mar 9, 2014 03:00
|
|
|
Eej posted:If you wanna believe Wikipedia, there's the Women and Offspring section of this article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitutes_in_South_Korea_for_the_U.S._military From my time there, I saw a lot more soldiers with Filipinas than I did with South Korean women. The stigma and racism against interracial relationships is very, very strong there. I would ride the subway with a Chinese-Canadian girl and she was bound to get yelled at by an old drunk man for being a whore (despite not being Korean).
|
|
#
?
Mar 9, 2014 03:45
|
|
|
si posted:I change the air after almost every meal. It's a thing in Japan that if people are sick in a room at some point you have to change the air by opening all the windows to I guess blow all the viruses away. It's not a big deal but it's annoying in the middle of the winter when I just want to keep the place a comfortable temperature.
|
|
#
?
Mar 9, 2014 13:41
|
|
|
Dr_Amazing posted:It's a thing in Japan that if people are sick in a room at some point you have to change the air by opening all the windows to I guess blow all the viruses away. Or when it's dead of winter in a Japanese classroom with no heat and almost no insulation, yet they still throw windows open. And they wonder why kids get sick in the winter... Also Japanese culture is less direct than in America anyways in general, so sometimes that "lol women don't tell you their feelings" stereotype is both true and even more difficult to read. Communication always helps. White dude in Japan dating a Japanese girl now. Haven't really found any race problems (and in general the Japanese people I know and work with all want me to find a Japanese girl anyways, no matter who it is). If there are problems, it's just culture stuff -- I don't mind taking my shoes off inside, I'm used to that now, but what to eat is a tough thing sometimes. I'm lucky that my girlfriend lived overseas for a long while and is interested in knowing more and doing things differently, so we're a good fit in that regard.
|
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2014 04:47
|
|
|
Regarding the Catholic thing, I think a lot of people would be amazed at how little of a poo poo most Catholics give about traditional conservative hot buttons. We've got 2 gay couples (one of each gender) in our Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults classes this year and not a single person bats an eye. Even the candidates were kind of surprised at how little of an issue it was after being run out of a few Protestant communities around here, but our parish just did not give a gently caress. And we're the largest parish in our diocese. There are rear end in a top hat Catholics sure, but mostly people won't mess with you unless you mess with them.
|
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2014 06:54
|
|
|
Bum the Sad posted:Yeah.... That has nothing to do with being a Japanese woman. That's universal amongst women in general. It kind of goes to a new level. Yesterday she told me that there's a couples dance class starting soon. I said it sounded fun and it would be a nice activity to do together. She complained about the cost, the schedule etc and said it was a bad idea. Then today she asks again if I want to go and now we're signed up. It's pretty obvious she wants to do it but we have to play the little game.
|
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2014 12:43
|
|
|
When we first moved to the USA, we had these very good friends, K & J. K would invite us over, and we would all go over and have a grand ol' time chatting, or watching TV (when we kids were too young to participate with the adults). K would offer my mum and dad something from the kitchen, because she was about to grab something for herself. In our culture, you refuse the first couple of times out of politeness. In the USA, if you say you're not hungry, or don't want any, people will leave you the crap alone. Hilarity ensues.
|
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2014 13:53
|
|
|
I dated a Filipino girl from the end of high school until a few years after. Her family put on a front where they hated me at first, didn't like me being in the house, wouldn't let her go on dates with me, but I put my time in and after about 2 years I was like family. Over there on the holidays eating all their delicious food and having a great time. They still didn't want me taking her on dates and such and her mom kicked her out of the house when she spent the night at my place one time when she was like 22, and they also wanted to kill her when she dropped out of college and started waitress (that was a dumb idea). It may have helped that a lot of their family and friends were married to white guys (mostly from the military), I'm Mexican but I'm too tall to pass for a Pinoy.
|
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2014 14:34
|
|
|
dino. posted:When we first moved to the USA, we had these very good friends, K & J. K would invite us over, and we would all go over and have a grand ol' time chatting, or watching TV (when we kids were too young to participate with the adults). K would offer my mum and dad something from the kitchen, because she was about to grab something for herself. In our culture, you refuse the first couple of times out of politeness. In the USA, if you say you're not hungry, or don't want any, people will leave you the crap alone. Whereabouts did you come from? That's apparently the case in a few cultures around the world.
|
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2014 15:07
|
|
|
Before I went to Sri Lanka my girlfriends mother was telling some story about some other non-Sri Lankan who had visited the family. "Just don't do what she did, someone gave her a gift... and she accepted it the first time! Can you imagine? Ha! My sisters still talk about it"
|
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2014 15:19
|
|
|
Yeah, the Yes-No-Let-Me-Pay game infuriates me, especially when it gets down to actually physically wrestling money out of each others hands in a public resturant. I just don't bring it up at all, ask for the check and give my card in one swift motion to avoid this nonsense.
|
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2014 15:43
|
|
|
Dr_Amazing posted:we have to play the little game. Get used to that poo poo, bro Thundercracker posted:Yeah, the Yes-No-Let-Me-Pay game infuriates me, especially when it gets down to actually physically wrestling money out of each others hands in a public resturant. I just don't bring it up at all, ask for the check and give my card in one swift motion to avoid this nonsense. Where I'm from this is a thing, too. My method is at every other meal, I go hit the head and give my card to whoever is serving us and say I'll be taking care of it. Beats watching my wife and her sister argue about it when the bill hits the table.
|
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2014 17:42
|
|
|
Samovar posted:Whereabouts did you come from? That's apparently the case in a few cultures around the world.
|
|
#
?
Mar 10, 2014 22:30
|
|
|
I have had that same experience in the US with native born citizens (ie, white people) as well. It's an older thing I think.
|
|
#
?
Mar 11, 2014 01:27
|
|
|
edit: eh nvm
|
|
#
?
Mar 11, 2014 01:37
|
|
|
Hey everyone. I know I haven;t been the best host. I have been reading each and every post and love hearing everyone experience. Here is an little update. M deiced to ignore his parents and continue dating me. We have gone in this with the attitude of "We will enjoy our time together. If it works out, fantastic. If not. It will hurt in ways we can not imagine, but we can't feel sorry for ourselves. We know the risks and we will face any outcome it provides". I'm really enjoying my time with him. I have learned a lot, he has been a huge help with some personal things and overall I have never laughed as much I do with him. I love his friends, and I have a new hobby. Warhammer. I would not trade my time with him for anything. Keep telling the stories! Love them all!
|
|
#
?
Mar 11, 2014 03:59
|
|
|
I wanna remark on another wacky cultural difference. One of the times I was in Romania, my friend's mom offered to make me "a sandwich" for later that day when I'd be sightseeing. I said yes, thinking I'd get one in like a ziplock bag or something. She ended up lending me a large canvas bag with a loaf of bread, a big stick of salami, a tub of yogurt, a block of cheese, with a knife to cut it all. It was like Christmas! After breathlessly relating the story of sandwich = picnic to another Romanian friend of mine, he told me how he once stayed in Canada in high school as part of some theater exchange program. His host mom offered to make him a sandwich when he was going on some excursion. He told me he was terribly disappointed when he got a sandwich in a ziplock bag.
|
|
#
?
Mar 11, 2014 07:51
|
|
|
computer parts posted:I have had that same experience in the US with native born citizens (ie, white people) as well. It's an older thing I think. I think it may be a regional thing, at least in the United States, as my relatives/friends from the South will pressure you for food, and ask at least two more times if you refuse it at first. However my relatives from the North East US, upon hearing you say no, will leave you the gently caress alone. A bit more on topic, I dated a woman for two years whose family had lived in Jordan, but were originally from Syria. As a whole my family liked her, except my grand father would have hated her, being a bigot whose waiting for a race war, luckily he lived more than 2 states away so she never knew about that. She was fairly adamant about her family not knowing that she was dating me (a white guy), saying it would be a huge drama bomb from her family abroad, and would make her life exceedingly uncomfortable, especially when she would visit them, knowing how my grandfather reacted I could respect that. I had more than once met her brothers and mother, and they were aware of me, and I am positive they knew we were dating, but it was some weird face-saving game, where she couldn't say it to them, and they couldn't acknowledge it. So we had to play this weird game with her family where I was her "good friend" for two years. The only thing I found odd about her family, other than that, was the fact her 3 older brothers, who had very lucrative careers, still lived at home with their mother. She did as well, but that made sense to me as she was finishing up college. We eventually broke up for other unrelated reasons to all this, but it was definitely a strange paring.
|
|
#
?
Mar 11, 2014 16:04
|
|
|
The hospitality thing is just as much a personality influence as anything else, at least in the USA. The urge to be perceived well is normal among folks, so if that's more important than feeling smart or whatever to someone, they will ask multiple times, and some even fret about it if the answer continues to be no. One of the 'other jobs' I have is financial planning for people. I spend a fair bit of time networking and speaking to people in their homes about that. Rule number one about being offered something when meeting someone is The Answer Is Always Yes, at least with my work. Just ask for a glass of water, take a polite pull from it, and get back to what you were chatting about. Otherwise they'll be preoccupied with being a good host, so saying yes up front let's them off that hook. I can't say I know poo poo about foreign customs regarding this ritual though.
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2014 18:40
|
|
|
Earwicker posted:yeah people stare at us everywhere and just this morning some waiter made a big deal about my obviously Jewish last name in this weird way, I was pretty surprised. I always thought Southern racism was exaggerated by northerners because I used to live in PA which is racist as gently caress and I've been all over Texas (which has just as bad of a reputation) without any issue, but man this town is stuck in some kind of time warp its a very strange place. That's funny. Not saying it doesn't exist for you, but it didn't seem to exist for me. As a white guy who also has an obviously Jewish last name, I didn't feel weird at all walking around the entire Charleston area with my Chinese girlfriend.\ Then again, I'm from here, and I tend to not go towards areas of town I feel to be crawling with douchebags (Market St. in particular). Maybe you were just in douche central? Ferdinand the Bull fucked around with this message at 00:24 on Mar 16, 2014 |
|
#
?
Mar 16, 2014 00:17
|
|
|
dino. posted:In our culture, you refuse the first couple of times out of politeness. In the USA, if you say you're not hungry, or Earwicker posted:Before I went to Sri Lanka my girlfriends mother was telling some story about some other non-Sri Lankan who had visited the family. "Just don't do what she did, someone gave her a gift... and she accepted it the first time! Can you imagine? Ha! My sisters still talk about it" Okay, now I am curious about manners and perception. My experience with mainland Chinese is that they are pretty blunt and rude to my American sensibilities. Is this just ... how it is in China? I am pretty blunt, but I don't call people fat right to their face either. I've also been told that Cantonese people tend to compliment each other, and have seen it at restaurants. "Oh, you're so smart, so pretty, so clever!" "Oh, no, no, not as clever as you!" I worry a lot about being misunderstood at work with a lot of internationals, and often say things like, "I'm not trying to be rude, I just want you to tell me exactly what it is you need/want/mean. Tell me straight up." I also hate dealing with passive-aggressive poo poo, so that's also why I say that. Do immigrants think Americans are rude, or weirdly sensitive? I've heard it goes both ways. My husband had to train me to take gifts when offered. He got irritated when I tried to give back my mother's offer of a bracelet that I really, really loved and has told me that if I don't take offered gifts, he's going to take them on my behalf. (I do have the bracelet. I love it)
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2014 18:33
|
|
|
That's not just Chinese. It's also Koreans. They'll tell you right to your face "You're FAT. LOSE WEIGHT FATTY. FATTY FATTY FAT." And in the next breath, "I made you a huge spread of food, now EAT." The thing is, in a business setting, you're going to have different manners than you would in a casual setting. For business, it's perfectly fine to be up-front, and say, "I need you to tell me exactly what you need, so that I make sure I deliver on that for you." In a personal setting, you're likely to get hemming, hawing, and hedging. I have a friend in Denmark (HI HAPPYHAT) who complains frequently that business colleagues are over-sensitive when he tells them outright about the ways that they need to improve so that they're no longer a disappointment to the human race. On the other hand, I've met people from Denmark (Copenhagen, if I'm not mistaken) who are extremely friendly, and would do anything for a friend. It all depends, squig. Your mileage will vary. For business, I've found this book to be very helpful: http://www.amazon.com/Shake-Hands-Bestselling-Business-Countries/dp/1593373686
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2014 20:51
|
|
|
dino. posted:When we first moved to the USA, we had these very good friends, K & J. K would invite us over, and we would all go over and have a grand ol' time chatting, or watching TV (when we kids were too young to participate with the adults). K would offer my mum and dad something from the kitchen, because she was about to grab something for herself. In our culture, you refuse the first couple of times out of politeness. In the USA, if you say you're not hungry, or don't want any, people will leave you the crap alone. Its kind of a joke in minnesota, but people in the upper midwest generally refuse twice then accept on the third time, so it happens that way in the US in places too.
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2014 00:55
|
|
|
Y'know where I think it comes from, Branis? In South India, you don't plan to go over to your friend's house. You're on your way home, and you happen to be passing by. So, as a sign of your closeness and love, you nip in for a few, and say hi. And while you're saying hi, your friend offers you a food. You know that you're both poor as dirt, and that to feed you means that his own family won't have quite a much to eat. You refuse at least the first couple of times, to acknowledge that you don't want to put him out. You're visiting like once a day, if not more often, so taking his hospitality can get expensive. He saves face by offering, because it's rude to not offer. You make sure that he's VERY certain that he can spare that extra bit of coffee, tea, or food. In fact, there are many times when you'll specifically say, "I'd just like a glass of water, please." Then your friend brings out some water, and you share his filtered or boiled water on your way home. My sister spent time in Madurai, where she'd carry a bottle of water with her wherever she went. She was there for school, and was interviewing women for a study she was conducting. For the first couple of weeks or so, she'd refuse even a glass of water, because she knew that there was a severe water shortage, and that filtered water is expensive. She was there to work, and didn't want to put anyone out. Unfortunately, this lead to the interviewees thinking that she was being a snobby Brahmin, and refusing hospitality, because their homes weren't Brahmin as well. When her translator clued her into the situation, she was absolutely horrified, because she's not the sort of person to judge someone else based on her caste. She thought she was being polite by not asking people who'd agreed to see her for an interview provide her with very expensive filtered water. They thought that she refused outright, and showed her own bottle of water, because their homes were ritualistically unclean, and that she felt herself above them. If you're dealing with hyper polite cultures, where the host is offering, and you don't know how to react, just ask for some freaking water.
|
|
#
?
Mar 20, 2014 03:14
|
|
|
European-mutt here (American). Been dating my Dominican boyfriend for 2 years now. Compared to some of you guys we have it pretty easy it seems. Maybe that's because we live in Florida and it's pretty diversified? Anywho really the only problems we've faced thus far is the matter of religion. His parents are super Catholic. He doesn't affiliate with religion and I am atheist so that can be a bit awkward at times. Especially when his father asks me if I believe in God and tells me that I will after I have kids, trust him. I guess the only other issue is the fact that a lot of his older relatives only speak Spanish so I pretty much kiss them on the cheek, ask them how they are (in Spanish) and that's the extent of our communication. Before my current boyfriend, I dated a Cuban guy. Same thing, we didn't have any issues (besides the Spanish). It ended for..unrelated reasons :P
|
|
#
?
Apr 16, 2014 06:20
|
|
|
I married a Nigerian/British woman and its had its fair share of ups and downs, the wedding was easily the most intense experience ever - we had 1000 people there, of which about 20 people I knew. She was super Christian and I've found myself going to church as a result (I was a kind of Christian agnostic before) which is different - I most just go to church and zone out at the back. I've never really had any issues myself, people seem ok with it - her parents didnt warm to me at first but I just stay kind and pleasant (to this day I still call them Mr and Mrs X) and they grew to at least tolerate me. Her little brother (who've I known for 9 of his 10 years now) thinks I'm cool because we play minecraft.
|
|
#
?
Apr 16, 2014 11:38
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 29, 2024 00:14 |
|
|
I am a white American ex-pat from the urban Midwest, my wife is a black (mixed) American from rural Hawaii. For most of my life I have preferred dating women from other cultures and ethnicities; I don't get along with the passive aggressive culture that typifies most white folks in the Midwest. Also, I was raised overseas and so I became more used to women of color than the women of my own race. My wife and I have one child who somehow turned out whiter than both of us. She jokes that if she hasn't been conscious for the delivery she'd think our kid was misplaced at the hospital. One area where we disagree is how to treat our daughter's race on applications etc. I'm uncomfortable having my daughter benefit from affirmative action. My wife like to say that "black people didn't invent the One Drop rule and she isn't going to let white people change the rules now". I've decided not to fight it. There are very few cultural issues that separate us other than religion. My wife's parents are agnostics who rejected their parent's religions. Her father in particular has a lot of bad blood with the Baptists. I was raised in an extremely religious Methodist household before rejecting my parent's religion as a teenager. Even though we both believe basically the same things, we arrived at our beliefs from completely different places. I'm as strongly atheistic as my family is religious whereas my wife basically doesn't care. The only other major difference is that I'm a city boy and she's a country girl. Lots of values and assumptions get tied up in that.
|
|
#
?
May 17, 2014 05:46
|
|