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Hmmm... I (general European white dude) once was in a relationship with Y. - a Chinese/Thai woman for a good couple of years. She was just finishing her PhD, I was just starting mine. She approached me in the library if all places - apparently she was working up the courage to talk to me. Well, it started off interesting; we both found each other really attractive, and we got on well and were able to spend time with one another. She was very pretty and smart, but she had been through some tough times. She had been treated poorly in previous relationships, which meant that she claimed I was the best boyfriend she ever had. This wouldn't be so much of a problem if it weren't for the fact that she always always, ALWAYS accused me or my firends who were woman of cheating on her. She also had a seriously... poisonous relationship with her mother (who gave the impression that Y. should have been a mother, not a doctor) and Thai society, which is incredibly patriarchial and conservative. The longer we were in a relationship though, the more... unclear I was about us and her. She was being very... servile and that seriously creeped me the gently caress out (i.e. cooking meals and insiting on cleaning up afterwards as well; volunteering to clean my flat, etc.). I wasn;t suire if she was doing stuff with me becasue she WANTED to do these things, or becasue she felt like a girlfriend should do these kind of things. She eventually tried a number of ways of trying to cause gaps between me and some of my friends, and that pissed me off enough to not want to be with her. It didn't help that the more I talked with her, the more I realised she was pretty sexist (i.e. expected people to follow gender roles) and racist (she hated Japanese people and never wanted to speak Mandarin, even though she could). I did try to help her re. her problems, mainly by trying to talk with her, but she kept on trying to get us back together again, i.e. saying I was obiovusly the only person she'd wnat to marry, etc. I eventually got really sick and tired with her trying to manipulate us back together and just dropped all lines of comunication with her. I guess the problems could be due to total miscommunication between us through language difficulties; but I suspect the main problems were due to her having had really bad relationships previously which kinda twisted her. I'd have wanted to help - but I suspect I'd have been much better as her friend as oppsed to her boyfriend.
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Jan 7, 2014 22:33
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Kurtofan posted:Has anyone ever be in an interracial relationship with someone who actively wanted to be in an interracial relationship? How did/do you react, feel about it? Well, the girl I went out with from Thailand certainly said she wanted to try going out with a white Scottish guy... and I suppose made more of us being an interracial couple than I did - or at least, I feel that was the case; I could be mistaken. Honestly? It kinda... creeped me out - I felt as if she was going out with me not becasue I was me but becasue she thought I was something else. I didn't like it (which is the main reason we are no longer together).
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Feb 9, 2014 19:08
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dino. posted:When we first moved to the USA, we had these very good friends, K & J. K would invite us over, and we would all go over and have a grand ol' time chatting, or watching TV (when we kids were too young to participate with the adults). K would offer my mum and dad something from the kitchen, because she was about to grab something for herself. In our culture, you refuse the first couple of times out of politeness. In the USA, if you say you're not hungry, or don't want any, people will leave you the crap alone. Whereabouts did you come from? That's apparently the case in a few cultures around the world.
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Mar 10, 2014 15:07
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Second the sorry to hear that OP; but you have to learn when to say no more; which can be a hard thing in IR relationships - God knows I've been in that place as well. Still, all the best to you.
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Jul 13, 2014 14:35
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