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GAYS FOR DAYS
Dec 22, 2005
smooching with the enemy


will explain in interview

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Srice
Sep 11, 2011



*never gets an interview*

MMOs & Welfare
Jan 24, 2007

oh he's so pringles


its like that for misdemeanors too if you're not trying to flip burgers

WonderfulWino
Sep 26, 2004

The grape wont cut me loose.

killed the last guy who didnt hire me

Homo for Hitler
Jul 8, 2013

Bong
Rips
For
Hitler


Wrongfully convicted of:

Sexual crime(s)
Multiple dui's
Murder
Possession of a controlled substance
Making lovely posts

Pumpy Muffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Banned?

have any of you faggots been to jail?

IzzyFnStradlin
Jun 19, 2004
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: this sovereign citizen stuff might be closer to the truth than we are willing to admit.

lol if you're still at the point in your life/career where job applications ask that questions. (same thing goes for job app drug tests)

Sabel
Aug 11, 2004

Gay married to gay communism


I struck down Annie because I'm a smooth criminal *spins around three times and moonwalks out of the office*

Miyamotos RGB NES
Dec 31, 2000



I wonder what would be the weirdest/worst sounding ones to have show up on a background check (besides the obvious really bad ones)?



Depraved indifference to human life while operating heavy machinery

Illicit acts performed on an archeological and/or sacred site

Menacing

Crimes against humanity

Public desecration of a corpse

Intentional cruelty to persons

Voyeurism with malice

Coercion with threat of felony

Illegal use of aircraft without permission

(these are all real. Think of some other real ones that would be a real hoot to explain to the company hiring you!)

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number.

IzzyFnStradlin posted:

lol if you're still at the point in your life/career where job applications ask that questions. (same thing goes for job app drug tests)
To be fair a lot of jobs no matter how far up the chain you are require that kinda stuff for federally mandated reasons. For example gov employees with Q or L clearance have to be drug tested as a pre-employment screening and as random tests for so long as they have Q or L clearance.

Sid Delicious
Oct 31, 2007

this thread...it was made for me

Pumpy Muffinz posted:

have any of you faggots been to jail?

yes

Mankanshoku Mako
Dec 24, 2009

by toby


Pumpy Muffinz posted:

have any of you faggots been to jail?

have you?

bigzak
Aug 15, 2003


I got a speeding ticket for 26+ once

Pumpy Muffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Banned?


really? where?


Yes. County

Sid Delicious
Oct 31, 2007

this thread...it was made for me

Pumpy Muffinz posted:

really? where?


Yes. County

maplehurst correctional facility

Slime Bro Helpdesk
Jul 2, 2007


IzzyFnStradlin posted:

lol if you're still at the point in your life/career where job applications ask that questions. (same thing goes for job app drug tests)

It pisses me off that I've never been drug tested for a job. I want to tell my boss he should drug test me just for the hell of it.

Pumpy Muffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Banned?

Sid Vicious posted:

maplehurst correctional facility

are you loving with me?

Sid Delicious
Oct 31, 2007

this thread...it was made for me

Pumpy Muffinz posted:

are you loving with me?

no sir i spent 3 months there

gggiiimmmppp
Feb 15, 2004

Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels

Slime Bro Helpdesk posted:

It pisses me off that I've never been drug tested for a job. I want to tell my boss he should drug test me just for the hell of it.

have a job related accident and theyll test you to see if they can deny compensation

Pumpy Muffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Banned?

Sid Vicious posted:

no sir i spent 3 months there

no offense meant. I did 90 days myself

The Bible
May 8, 2010



Pumpy Muffinz posted:

have any of you faggots been to jail?

Yes.

I was visiting my mom's boyfriend (at the time). I was 8.

I'm not even joking.

full metal socks
Sep 3, 2006
Please take a number.

bigzak posted:

I got a speeding ticket for 26+ once

26 to life for speeding? Sheesh, were you going like Mach 3?

Pumpy Muffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Banned?

The Bible posted:

Yes.

I was visiting my mom's boyfriend (at the time). I was 8.

I'm not even joking.

real jail, not county? Sucks you had to go there as a kid.

Sid Delicious
Oct 31, 2007

this thread...it was made for me

Pumpy Muffinz posted:

no offense meant. I did 90 days myself

no offense taken man i can understand why if all you see of me is me posting on the internet youd be surprised i went to jail lmao, i made some really dumbass decisions when i was addicted to drugs, stole a lot of money from my work place and got busted for it

nihil morari
Sep 24, 2011

by Ralp


being in jail isn't a good time

The Bible
May 8, 2010



Pumpy Muffinz posted:

real jail, not county? Sucks you had to go there as a kid.

Yup. In Texas, too. Scary place for an 8 year old.

nihil morari posted:

being in jail isn't a good time

Club Fed lol

Pumpy Muffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Banned?

Sid Vicious posted:

no offense taken man i can understand why if all you see of me is me posting on the internet youd be surprised i went to jail lmao, i made some really dumbass decisions when i was addicted to drugs, stole a lot of money from my work place and got busted for it

I still think your a jerk, but i like you more now. Addiction is terrible

Cockmaster
Feb 24, 2002


A conviction will not necessarily bar you from employment provided nobody else applies for this position.

Sid Delicious
Oct 31, 2007

this thread...it was made for me

Pumpy Muffinz posted:

I still think your a jerk, but i like you more now. Addiction is terrible

yeah it is really lovely im almost 3 years clean of everything but pot now and pot isnt addictive really and i havent even smoked it since november so yeah, doing pretty good. and im not a jerk im a really nice guy

thebandbeforetime
May 25, 2010


I got a felony for having two pills of ecstasy 9 years ago and I've never gotten a job without lying on my application and hoping they don't do a background check

also never been able to get a job paying more than $10/hr despite being highly educated. way to go criminal justice system

Pumpy Muffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Banned?

Sid Vicious posted:

yeah it is really lovely im almost 3 years clean of everything but pot now and pot isnt addictive really and i havent even smoked it since november so yeah, doing pretty good. and im not a jerk im a really nice guy

Good for you man! I was just joking. I call my friends jerks

scuzzy pumper
Aug 2, 2007



nihil morari posted:

being in jail isn't a good time

It's very boring.

Pumpy Muffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Banned?

scuzzy pumper posted:

It's very boring.

seriously! that poo poo sucks

Darth123123
Jan 26, 2006



Sid Vicious posted:

yeah it is really lovely im almost 3 years clean of everything but pot now and pot isnt addictive really and i havent even smoked it since november so yeah, doing pretty good. and im not a jerk im a really nice guy

So how is an Ontario county vs say Phoenix area? Or anywhere really, just curious.

Sancho
Jul 18, 2003



*is black
*felony box on application already marked in by interviewer

Sid Delicious
Oct 31, 2007

this thread...it was made for me

Darth123123 posted:

So how is an Ontario county vs say Phoenix area? Or anywhere really, just curious.

idk really man its boring and i read a lot of lovely books because they didnt have much choice in the book department, i think i had all of 4 cigarettes while i was in there and all of them were rolled with paper from my gideons bible and lit with the single contraband lighter we had, which im pretty sure was hooped by a few different inmates regularly

Darth123123
Jan 26, 2006



Sid Vicious posted:

idk really man its boring and i read a lot of lovely books because they didnt have much choice in the book department, i think i had all of 4 cigarettes while i was in there and all of them were rolled with paper from my gideons bible and lit with the single contraband lighter we had, which im pretty sure was hooped by a few different inmates regularly

did you pump alot of iron? i heard you guys do that

Sid Delicious
Oct 31, 2007

this thread...it was made for me

Darth123123 posted:

did you pump alot of iron? i heard you guys do that

i have not worked out seriously a day in my life lmao sometimes i played bball or some soccer when it was time for rec

Pumpy Muffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Banned?

Darth123123 posted:

did you pump alot of iron? i heard you guys do that

no.

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nihil morari
Sep 24, 2011

by Ralp


Darth123123 posted:

did you pump alot of iron? i heard you guys do that

i laid in my bunk and read a crappy book and slept and ate their crappy food. there really isn't much to do.

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