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Moonie
Apr 25, 2006


... Probably.
I have seen my Chinese house mate (supposedly from Hong Kong) twice in the last 4 months. Yesterday a post card arrived for him:


Any Chinese speakers able to provide a translation?

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jBrereton
May 29, 2013



"Hope you enjoy this ironic postcard I got in Seoul, missing you loads, but my career in eSports is really taking off!"

Moonie
Apr 25, 2006


Im friends with mi5, do I tell them?

Mr. Mallory
Nov 10, 2012


i would think NK wouldn't allow international mail

Feranon
Sep 10, 2011

People were less prepared for a double juggalo presidency than they ever imagined.


a north korea arg, how edgy and topical

Disco Infiva
Oct 14, 2013


Moonie posted:

Im friends with mi5, do I tell them?

No, don't. If you do, then the whole world will know.

Fagmaster
Aug 21, 2004



something something math and computer stuff

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



Bring a small child into your room and see how long it takes for your roommate to cannibalize the child

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations

Dear Cousin,

How is the apocalyptic wasteland of Not Korea treating you? Things are good here, except I arrived for my shift at the lint factory with my flag pin upside down, and am now being rightfully castigated for my act of dissheveled treason with a vacation in Work Camp Rainbow.

One of the vacationers will be smuggling this out in his anus when he crosses to the Chinese border. Please send Powerbars and other high-calorie, colon-shaped foods to the return address so he may smuggle them back in. Dinner is becoming quite competitive!

Keep it Real, Keep it Il

Vacationer #858392

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...

Nothing to be afraid of, any of his weapons will probably break on use.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



I'm the guy fistpumping as he rides Pegasus

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

We have such sights
to show you.
Come with us.
Taste our pleasures!


Bug his room!

Better yet... make sure your room isn't bugged first!

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



Bloodfart McCoy posted:

Bug his room!

Better yet... make sure your room isn't bugged first!
yeah use one of these

EXTREME INSERTION
Jun 4, 2011

oh yeah


Put up a picture of Kim Jong un. If your roommate compulsively bows when he sees it he's a spook

Tuxedo Gin
May 20, 2003

Classy.

its says "we (are/were in) north korea, play <something> and very happy" and then some other boring poo poo i cant read

Tuxedo Gin fucked around with this message at Jan 26, 2014 around 18:57

ashgromnies
Jun 19, 2004


Cooler than what posted:

yeah use one of these


He's asian; he'd eat it.

James Polk
Jun 18, 2010

I was born in a farmhouse in Pineville, North Carolina


maybe your'are a racist, op

Concerned Citizen
Jul 22, 2007

delightfully concerned


if you look under the stamp you will find, scrawled in tiny letters, "they cut off my tongue."

Moonie
Apr 25, 2006


James Polk posted:

maybe your'are a racist, op

im not a racist, i like asians of all shades

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

We have such sights
to show you.
Come with us.
Taste our pleasures!


Tuxedo Gin posted:

its says "we (are/were in) north korea, play <something> and very happy" and then some other boring poo poo i cant read

Any Goon code breakers want to take a crack at it?

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Your words are as empty as your cereal bowl. I am the Vanguard of your Hanzo steel's destruction. This exchange is over...


Waterboard him.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



ashgromnies posted:

He's asian; he'd eat it.
well yeah I mean meat + eggs in one convenient package

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Hailing frequencies

Moonie posted:

... Probably.
I have seen my Chinese house mate (supposedly from Hong Kong) twice in the last 4 months. Yesterday a post card arrived for him:


Any Chinese speakers able to provide a translation?

My Chinese is a little rough, but I believe it says:

"Continue observations of the Westerner stop. Prepare for end of mission stop."

Omi-Polari
Oct 4, 2012


so a friend or family member went on a tour of north korea and sent a postcard, basically.

maybe the spy here is you!

Blazing Ownager
Jun 2, 2007

I ain't got time to bleed.

So if you were right.. like most North Korean spies, he probably came with the mission to wreck havoc.

Also like most North Korean spies, he probably said "gently caress that!" and is now hiding from North Korea upon seeing the rest of the world not being the piece of poo poo described.

Seriously we're talking a country who won't give their air force pilots enough fuel to run away immediately, because they probably would. North Korea is hilarious.

EDIT: Obviously this isn't real, but the above scenario happens... a lot, seriously.

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

We have such sights
to show you.
Come with us.
Taste our pleasures!


Blazing Ownager posted:

So if you were right.. like most North Korean spies, he probably came with the mission to wreck havoc.

Also like most North Korean spies, he probably said "gently caress that!" and is now hiding from North Korea upon seeing the rest of the world not being the piece of poo poo described.

Seriously we're talking a country who won't give their air force pilots enough fuel to run away immediately, because they probably would. North Korea is hilarious.

He probably drank water that didn't taste like chromium and decided to chill for a while.

Toad on a Hat
May 27, 2004

Dinnertime.


just say something like "boy that kim jong un is a BITCH and his dad is burning in hell like the rear end in a top hat he is" and see what happens

Hingehead
Nov 24, 2013


CommanderCoffee
Feb 27, 2011

Ladies.


The only safe thing to do is to put him in a rocket and let him land on the sun. If he makes it, he's a North Korean spy and you must convert.

Savings Coupon
Mar 6, 2004


Pour acid on him while he sleeps (if he sleeps) . If it Burns him he is innocent.

A Fucker IRL
Jan 25, 2014


"remember when you sucked my cock until I came in your mouth. Missing you, Your ching chong lover boy."

Thats all it says.

Crankit
Feb 7, 2011

HE WATCHES


What if he's actually working for the west and spying on North Korea, by posting this thread you blew his cover and killed him OP, I hope you're proud.

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

We have such sights
to show you.
Come with us.
Taste our pleasures!


A Fucker IRL posted:

"remember when you sucked my cock until I came in your mouth. Missing you, Your ching chong lover boy."

Thats all it says.

Holy poo poo, OP! Start walking around the house naked and try to make him cheat on his man back home!

Backweb
Feb 14, 2009



James Polk posted:

maybe your'are a racist, op

This.

No matter what they should always be called "Korean-American." Didn't you learn this at school?!

Learn to be more tolerant and PC.

CapitanAmerica
Jan 19, 2014

by Pipski


I am a glorious north korean spy as well.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010



A Fucker IRL posted:

"remember when you sucked my cock until I came in your mouth. Missing you, Your ching chong lover boy."

Thats all it says.
OP please note that this is a common traditional Chinese greeting and should not be taken too literally

fyodor
May 27, 2004

friggin awesome

So no takers on that translation thing, huh?

HarlanHell
Nov 16, 2012

Nevermind that shit here comes Mingo!


Step 1. Run him over with your car.

Step 2. Drop the body on any street of your nearest Chinatown.

Step 3. Go have a drink to celebrate getting away with murder.

Dr VideoGames 0.299
Feb 15, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 24 hours!


james joseph dresnok

operation paul bunyan

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Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

We have such sights
to show you.
Come with us.
Taste our pleasures!


Grab some takeout from the nearest Chinese place and discuss your concerns with him over some authentic Asian cuisine.

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