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baw
Nov 5, 2008
RESIDENT: LAISSEZ FAIR-SNEZHNEVSKY INSTITUTE FOR FORENSIC PSYCHIATRY

Jack Lew says that he doesn't have as much time for his special measures this time around, so after February 7th the clock is ticking and unless the debt ceiling gets raised then all sorts of bad stuff can happen. no one is completely sure but it would likely be a lot worse than 2008. the internet might even stop working,

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Police Automaton
Mar 17, 2009


lots of looting

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012



cannibalism

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

When you desperately need a goat, right this moment.


Step one: Calm the gently caress down
Step two: Drink some wine, smoke some trees
Step Three: Let the cry babies that are creating the fear realize they've already lost.
Step Four: Everyone gets the gently caress on with their lives.

Yivgev
May 18, 2004

i brought my +1 ak-47



ill probably invite strange men to do poppers and batter my rear end in a top hat with dicks forever. what are your plans, op?

Lottery of Babylon
Apr 25, 2012

STRAIGHT TROPIN'

My mind expands to fill the voids surrounding it. The more I survey, the more I understand. So too my influence and power. With the government indisposed, there shall be room for ascension. I shall become greater, and seize all that has ever been for myself. In this way I usher in a better age.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012



Lottery of Babylon posted:

My mind expands to fill the voids surrounding it. The more I survey, the more I understand. So too my influence and power. With the government indisposed, there shall be room for ascension. I shall become greater, and seize all that has ever been for myself. In this way I usher in a better age.

im doing this but with more cannibalism

Sanky Panky
Jul 9, 2013


Retire with all the money I will make in the stock market if such event happens.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

When you desperately need a goat, right this moment.


Weather out the initial unrest, get my pack ready and walk across the country.

In other words I'll probably die in the first few days. Mercifully.

Fuligin
Oct 27, 2010

ahh..what!? what?!
huh?!

be kept in a lightless cellar with my fellow herd men and live for the gustatory pleasure of the new cannibal overlords, probably.

rawdog pozfail
Jan 2, 2006


im gonna float away into the sky

Yivgev
May 18, 2004

i brought my +1 ak-47



rawdog pozfail posted:

im gonna float away into the sky

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009


Gonna declare myself a Dark Lord and take over a small town.

Just a town, though, I don't want to get greedy. Cannibals and raiders are welcome to visit.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012



Fuligin posted:

be kept in a lightless cellar with my fellow herd men and live for the gustatory pleasure of the new cannibal overlords, probably.

yo

get back in the cellar

HackerJoeGuy
Apr 18, 2007



Gonna cover myself in my own poo poo then build a small hut out of my poo poo (a shitgloo if you like), in a very poorly thought out attempt to ward off the cannibals.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007
OXYGEN
THIEF


nothing because it's not a real problem

get over it GOP nobody likes you

Viridiant
Nov 7, 2009

Have some fun with Miku!


Play video games and watch some anime. Masturbate, maybe. Usual stuff I do to ignore a reality that bad parenting and my own incompetence have made me ill equipped to deal with.

SD87
Jun 7, 2011


Viridiant posted:

Play video games and watch some anime. Masturbate, maybe. Usual stuff I do to ignore a reality that bad parenting and my own incompetence have made me ill equipped to deal with.

*hug*

Wangsbig
May 27, 2007



hopefully become a gay sissy fuckdoll for the biggest blackest marauder of the american wastes OP, but I might do that regardless of government default

amityville anus
Jan 30, 2010


loot the skate shop for parts and hit the road for some interstate pussy

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006
GTVA Celois

I'd probably not return to America and instead become homeless in NZ living my days out near libraries and stealing fruit, build a little stone hut in the rainforest, and loving some sheep. The usual y'know.

you goons are welcome to live in my hobo-forest paradise if you can escape the sinking ship that is america.


it can be like gooncamp, except all day every day for the rest of your life.

Xaris fucked around with this message at Feb 4, 2014 around 07:57

Tim Burtons Rug
Jan 7, 2014



Don't worry OP I have lots of dogecoins to go around

Shoeonhead22
Mar 26, 2007

Was my contract good for you, too?


i expect an economy similar to a prison's, so i plan to sell cigarettes and my anus for basic sustenance.

snucks
Nov 3, 2008

Try again. Fail again. Fail better.


not really worried, people tell me im pretty funny and I watched a decent amount of hgtv back in the day so i could probably farm the poo poo out of this lovely desert wasteland I live in.

edit: obvs talking about cactuses and poo poo im not loving retarded

snucks fucked around with this message at Feb 4, 2014 around 07:58

naem
May 29, 2011



Cream-of-Plenty posted:

"Which Friends character are you most like?" I ask my date. I'm a witty guy who uses humour as a disarming mechanism (and, some might say, as a tool to masking my crippling insecurity), so I'd most likely be Chandler. But I'm smart like a scientist, so I could also be Ross. Finally, I'm klutzy and adorable--just like a Golden Retriever--so there are certainly hints of Joey inside of me. "I'm basically Chandler, Ross, and Joey." I loudly proclaim this fact, because confidence is an aphrodisiac.

Every six months, Staples performs an employee review on me and gives me anywhere between a $0.30 and $0.50 raise. This last review, my "upsells" were so high that the manager bumped me up $0.65. The trick is to target older customers and mislead them on their purchases. Thus, it only took me seven weeks to afford a pair of Toto elevator shoes, which added five more inches to my height. The problem is that the shoes don't do much once you sit down, so I've also been growing my hair out and using Axe molding clay to stand it straight up, which adds several more inches. All-in-all, I'm pretty close to my goal of adding another foot to my height.

Women love it.

"These are really great breadsticks," I complement the breadsticks. I keep eating them because, hey, free food. "Nom nom nom...hah!" She doesn't get it.

Actually, I can't help but notice that my date sits a little straighter (and therefore higher) than me. As I try to fit an entire breadstick into my mouth and chew it without also biting my tongue, I carefully eyeball the top of her head. She follows my eyes and touches her hair. "What?" she asks.

I squint and chew harder. Louder. Faster. I lean in. She smells like...cinnamon? No, nutmeg. It's hard to tell. My nose is stuffed up so I have to keep my mouth open while I chew. I suddenly imagine the ball of bread rolling around in my mouth like a load of dirty laundry and it makes me want to throw up.

"I'll be right back," I jump up from my seat and jog to the restroom. When I get there, inspiration strikes me like a bolt of divine lightning. "Eureka!" I start balling up paper towels and stuffing them into the back of my pants--I think I fit half of a roll down there. Then I waddle back to the table and quietly take a seat.

She looks mildly shocked. Or perturbed? I don't know, women are hard to read. "Are you...are you alright?" she asks.

"Who? Me? Yeah. Of course." My rear end crunches softly on stiff brown paper towels while I use her forehead as a ruler and try to estimate the height that they have added to my position. Maybe an inch--not bad, not bad. I lean forward. "Do you think there's a difference between, like...anime and manga?"

Suddenly a sharp pain hits my stomach. The breadsticks. They're interacting with the pot of lukewarm coffee I drank earlier. I wince as I feel a burning sensation running through my intestines like a G-scale model train. An "uh oh..." escapes my lips before I can stop it at the proverbial gates. I don't think I'm going to make it to the bathroom. But the paper towels. "...spaghettiooooos..." I force a smile.

I imagine a beleaguered General Adama facing down a whole Cylon army with nothing but a handful of fighters and flak guns. He meditates on the coming battle before finally saying, Alright, here goes nothing, Colonel Tigh. I close my eyes, hesitantly relax my rear end, and immediately feel a warm burbling rise up between my legs, just like I sat down in a pool of sun-baked mud or bread dough. The sensation persists for what feels like an eternity--the duration of which I am entirely silent. When it ends--mercifully--I let out a soft sigh.

When I open my eyes, I realize something very strange: I have risen another inch or so and am now looking slightly downward at my date. It is the most shocking and beautiful thing I could ever conceive of.

They say, "When god closes a door, he opens a window." I don't believe in god, but if I did, I'd swear he was with me that day.

Daimo
Sep 14, 2007



Fascism is always a popular choice.

Fat Lowtax
Nov 9, 2008


"I'm willing to pay up to $1200 for a virtual My Little Pony avatar"


One way ticket to a stable country with a functional economy like Argentina

bunky
Aug 29, 2004



smoke a bowl maybe

baw
Nov 5, 2008
RESIDENT: LAISSEZ FAIR-SNEZHNEVSKY INSTITUTE FOR FORENSIC PSYCHIATRY

bow chicka wow wow posted:

stable country with a functional economy like Argentina

uhhh yeah about that...

quakster
Jul 21, 2007

Buyer's Remorse


oh no. not the internet

baw
Nov 5, 2008
RESIDENT: LAISSEZ FAIR-SNEZHNEVSKY INSTITUTE FOR FORENSIC PSYCHIATRY

a lot of people use the internet quakster, dont be so dismissive

Yivgev
May 18, 2004

i brought my +1 ak-47



Wangsbig posted:

hopefully become a gay sissy fuckdoll for the biggest blackest marauder of the american wastes OP, but I might do that regardless of government default

this is my backup plan

fuck trophy 2k14
Jun 8, 2012

If you rub it, it will get stiff.


reignonyourparade
Nov 15, 2012


Barricade city hall and declare independence, unfortunately I live in a lovely suburb

fuck trophy 2k14
Jun 8, 2012

If you rub it, it will get stiff.


Wangsbig posted:

hopefully become a gay sissy fuckdoll for the biggest blackest marauder of the american wastes OP, but I might do that regardless of government default

what are you going to do on the %5 probability that he's straight

Wangsbig
May 27, 2007



i would put together a community of intelligent, like-minded individuals, bunker down somewhere with easy access to all resources, and use the profligate ravaging of my rear end by countless lengths of predatory cock as a form of energy

Torka
Jan 5, 2008



Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009


Brainstorming names for my Death Cult.

Ideas so far:

The Raveners.
The Empty
The Infernal Revenant Servants

Leaning towards that last one. Not that I wouldn't like my own brand, but cults are all about piggybacking on ancient, nearly-forgotten, but still feared things. It'll really pick up momentum a few generations in. Nothing demoralizes a stead more than terrified gasps from their greybearded wisemen.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012



Blurry Gray Thing posted:

Gonna declare myself a Dark Lord and take over a small town.

Just a town, though, I don't want to get greedy. Cannibals and raiders are welcome to visit.

hey dark lord

might i suggest giving those that refuse to obey you to cannibals as a fitting punishment?


Blurry Gray Thing posted:

Brainstorming names for my Death Cult.

Ideas so far:

The Raveners.
The Empty
The Infernal Revenant Servants

Leaning towards that last one. Not that I wouldn't like my own brand, but cults are all about piggybacking on ancient, nearly-forgotten, but still feared things. It'll really pick up momentum a few generations in. Nothing demoralizes a stead more than terrified gasps from their greybearded wisemen.

they're all pretty good but i kind of like the Empty. So empty that you must eat the flesh of man to get full

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amityville anus
Jan 30, 2010


im really probably gonna start growing fungus and bugs that are edible b/c i want to eat bugs so it's like a aquarium store but bugs and shrooms

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