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Wangsbig
May 27, 2007



a man sized mint chocolate chip meatloaf slathered in Guy's secret roux served in the inflatable swimming pool of an unfortunate child

two heaping helpings of beef gristle served inside a football helmet with a side of coconut gravy or half a plastic bag of nacho cheese, your choice

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Funkstar Deluxe
May 7, 2007


Puella Magi☆Madoka Indica


so who is this guy fieri guy exactly and why do people keep buying his frozen/canned stuff?

Wangsbig
May 27, 2007



a pan seared stick of butter smeared around a bowling ball and covered in gourmet cigarette ashes

a bowl of marinated cheese doodles aged to perfection and served in a martini glass

SpicyMeatSandwich
Apr 22, 2007



Dipped in Donkey Sawce bitch



Welcome to fuckin' Flavorton

Funkstar Deluxe
May 7, 2007


Puella Magi☆Madoka Indica


guy fieri looks like the ed hardy of processed foods

Wangsbig
May 27, 2007



freshly scalloped potatoes flung in the general direction of your table via catapult

a tostinos pizza double frozen in liquid nitrogen that you bob for in a communal pool of melted soft-serve ice cream

Unhinged Vulcan
Jan 5, 2012



Xaris
Jul 25, 2006
GTVA Celois

I ate at Johnny Garlics in the mid 90s when he first opened. It was pretty mediocre and we never really ate there again. kinda suprising the he ended up being popular 10 years later.

Wangsbig
May 27, 2007



a slice sauteed watermelon served within a gelatinous cube of hair gel

Cream-of-Plenty
Apr 21, 2010


Room temperature fatback glazed in sweetened "catsup" and spiked with raw, unadulterated ghost peppers. Served on a sweaty silken size "XXL" shirt (with a dragon design) that was worn by a middle aged gardener as he toiled all day.

Armchair Calvinist
Jan 10, 2005

I need to somehow get a hold of a multimeter so I can pin out my headlight wiring and install a brighter front end. But I also need to finish the Thieves Guild quest line so I can restore order and honor to the underworld of Riften.

Cream-of-Plenty
Apr 21, 2010


Canned tuna fish cut with relish and jelly beans, cooked sous vide style. Served in the ziplock bag that it was cooked in, along with two (2) tokens for the in-house jukebox that can only purchase Hoobastank songs.

redstormpopcorn
Jun 10, 2007
Aurora Master

A deep-fried iceberg lettuce wedge liberally dusted with cajun spices served with a habanero remoulade ranch sauce and a side of Guy's Kicked Up Shortrib-Style Baked Beans. also a pube on the edge of the plate.

Cream-of-Plenty
Apr 21, 2010


Half a dozen under-cooked "hard boiled" eggs that you have to peel. Served on laminated 8 x 11" printout of Guy Fieri and Steve Harwell taking a picture of themselves in a Motel 6 bathroom. If you look closely, you can see that Harwell is staring at Fieri's crotch.

Yivgev
May 18, 2004

i brought my +1 ak-47



jalapeņo pop-tarts, served cold with au jus

Wangsbig
May 27, 2007



a rotisserie chicken stuffed with stir-fried cigarette butts blended into a fine paste and injected directly into your blood stream

Yivgev
May 18, 2004

i brought my +1 ak-47



a sealed mason jar purported to contain air from the tomb of christ

Wangsbig
May 27, 2007



a puff pastry stuffed with roasted peanuts served with a motor oil reduction

Wangsbig
May 27, 2007



redstormpopcorn posted:

A deep-fried iceberg lettuce wedge liberally dusted with cajun spices served with a habanero remoulade ranch sauce and a side of Guy's Kicked Up Shortrib-Style Baked Beans. also a pube on the edge of the plate.

can we go light on the pube or maybe no pube?

waiter throws ten gallon hat to the floor in disgust

ma'am im going to have to ask you to leave

A Fucker IRL
Jan 25, 2014

by Baldo di Gregorio


4kg of disco fries served on a massive waffle, topped with fried hog bungs and a jello-cream cheese dressing.

Wangsbig
May 27, 2007



a punch bowl filled with country ranch dressing topped with grated cheese. warning: spicy

four thimbles of spiced chocolate liqueur imbibed from the navel of a local farm hand

Wangsbig
May 27, 2007



a whole turkey run under a white chocolate waterfall for six hours and served to your table off the back of a 1987 chevy el camino

Yivgev
May 18, 2004

i brought my +1 ak-47



an irregularly shaped cut of meat, origin unknown. pair with bagged milk.

Wangsbig
May 27, 2007



a smoked football marinated in its own juices since dusk, finely chopped and served on a folded american flag

Yivgev
May 18, 2004

i brought my +1 ak-47



an iPad displaying a video of a desperately starving man eating an entire roast hog. the man appears to be under duress.

Wangsbig
May 27, 2007



a seasoned batting cage compressed into its base elements and served to you on a sesame seed brioche bun

ALL-PRO SEXMAN
Nov 8, 2006

Veni, vidi, Lombardi.


hickory-smoked Babylon 5 DVDs served with a side of en croute shaken baby leper bites. Comes with a barrel of okapi sauce warmed by a dead U-boat engineer.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001


Two dozen poorly prepared eggs.

drilldo squirt
Aug 18, 2006



An omelet.

Wangsbig
May 27, 2007



a 12oz strawberry sundae filet grilled to perfection and served medium rare on a bed of steamed overalls

Wall Balls
Jun 3, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!


the eggs

Yivgev
May 18, 2004

i brought my +1 ak-47



a foul-smelling tarpaulin bundle, unfurled to reveal an undifferentiated mound of piping hot garbage

a nigga who smoke
Feb 26, 2007

coughin' and chokin' constantly

dynamite crab nachos aka 'crachos a la guy' (w/ great flavor)

Wangsbig
May 27, 2007



a four foot nacho pie cut into quarters and served to you speared on a trident by a woman's lacrosse team

steinrokkan
Apr 2, 2011

by XyloJW


Cream-of-Plenty posted:

Half a dozen under-cooked "hard boiled" eggs

The eggs arrive scrambled rather than boiled and you heavily suspect there are bits of chicken fetus mixed into them.

girth brooks part 2
Sep 6, 2011

Tell us we will die like dogs.


Guy Fieri is apparently on the front lines of a food revolution nws

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations

^^^^^


M&M pot pie wrapped in filthy linens and served with a dusting of your father's ashes

ALL-PRO SEXMAN
Nov 8, 2006

Veni, vidi, Lombardi.



Oh my.

Wangsbig
May 27, 2007



farm raised jort drizzlins sieved onto a whole wheat sausage

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Damp Star Baby
Jan 22, 2014

Staying Legend. CA Exempt DEATH


A set of Beats by Dr.Dre(TM) Headphones sauteed in armpit sweat, covered with 18 types of rotting shoelaces and sour cream

32$

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