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Your Dead Gay Son
Jan 1, 2006

The (gay) pizza man cometh...


Don't loving turn right into the far lane rear end in a top hat!

Why the poo poo are you swinging out to make your turn? You're in a god drat fiesta not a semi truck!! Jfc

I swear to god if you slow down before entering the median I'll speed up to destroy your bumper/neck

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Snitchtard
Dec 3, 2010



Everyone sucks at driving except me.

Sonrisa
Aug 13, 2004

Who is this irresistible creature who has an insatiable love for the dead?

That's why I have young nubile men carry me everywhere.



mango gay touchies
Dec 26, 2012



if somebody tries to pull into the adjacent lane and then overtake to pull in front of me on the freeway I will speed up with them until one of us crashes into the car in front of ours

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN
Apr 27, 2010

I put up my thumb... and it blotted out the planet Earth.



Sonrisa posted:

That's why I have young nubile men carry me everywhere.

Have you tried laying on a bed of Irishmen? Exquisite.

Sonrisa
Aug 13, 2004

Who is this irresistible creature who has an insatiable love for the dead?

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Have you tried laying on a bed of Irishmen? Exquisite.

Although comfortable, I couldn't take the exhaust fumes of whiskey and potato farts.



illestG
Oct 8, 2009



getting cut off by someone who has a "COEXIST" bumper sticker ITT

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009


Bitchtard posted:

Everyone sucks at driving except me.

Zero Star
Jan 22, 2006

Robit the paranoid blogger.


Having dickheads beeping the horn at you while you're in a learner car. What did they expect?

wilfredmerriweathr
Jul 11, 2005


turning into the wrong entrance lane is probably the most common traffic violation and nobody seems to care. extra lame when you see them texting and then they go wide only to jerk back into the correct lane as they look up from their itweet machine

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009


wilfredmerriweathr posted:

turning into the wrong entrance lane is probably the most common traffic violation and nobody seems to care. extra lame when you see them texting and then they go wide only to jerk back into the correct lane as they look up from their itweet machine

had a family member get pulled over and subsequently arrested for this exact violation lol

The Gadfly
Sep 23, 2012


illestG posted:

getting cut off by someone who has a "COEXIST" bumper sticker ITT

you should have let her coexist in your lane, capitalist scum

Phrasing
Oct 25, 2011



Oh the light's green let me finish texting said the first ten people at a light.

Gonna turn right here forgot my turn signal jkjkjk actually going to coast through the intersection real slow like.

Hadrians Dong
Aug 31, 2008

HAILGAYSATAN
NOBUTTER


I take the bus.

amityville anus
Jan 30, 2010


people who get in the right lane to go straight at a light so they can get ahead of one car and block right turners
Cause of death: got in my way

Ignoarints
Nov 26, 2010


I dont really get mad on the road unless something really serious happens (wrong way on the road for example)

:chill:

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010


Yeah I know I just sat there in front of you in the left turn lane while the light was green for 15 seconds but wow am I sure offended that you honked to wake my stupid rear end up. What's wrong with just chilling out and waiting for the light to cycle again?

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

Stained sweatpants. Bad facial hair. Shrill voice. Spergin rules knowledge. Casino dice. CHECK. Games Day, here I come!


Litterally hate everyone else who drives and froth at the mouth while I am driving near them.

Amused to Death
Aug 10, 2009

google "The Night Witches", and prepare for

i ride a bike, my sheer presence creates unimaginable amounts of rage among drivers. It's pretty awesome

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN
Apr 27, 2010

I put up my thumb... and it blotted out the planet Earth.



Amused to Death posted:

i ride a bike, my sheer presence creates unimaginable amounts of rage among drivers. It's pretty awesome

*thump thump*

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010


Amused to Death posted:

i ride a bike, my sheer presence creates unimaginable amounts of rage among drivers. It's pretty awesome

Haha, if they kill me, they have to go to jail, joke's on them!

Wayside Bazaar
Jun 30, 2008



Someone foolishly almost pulled out in front on me today when I was going 45mph in a straight line so I gave them the middle finger. I truly wanted that person to go and gently caress them-self.

rcman50166
Mar 23, 2010



i am the alpha driver, hear me roar

HONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONK

Amused to Death
Aug 10, 2009

google "The Night Witches", and prepare for

Devils Affricate posted:

Haha, if they kill me, they have to go to jail, joke's on them!

yeah but if i live the joke is gonna be on them when i sue them for all their cash

simple
Apr 11, 2007


If you are in the left lane and not passing cars, get back into the right lane so I can pass your slow piece of poo poo car you loving idiot.

Erethizon_dorsatum
Nov 14, 2009


people who don't use their turn signals.

rcman50166
Mar 23, 2010



Cutting through gas stations to dodge a light is actually against the law. The violation is called avoidance of a traffic control device. And you can get a ticket.

I got into a yelling match with a dude who thought it was okay to do.

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010


simple posted:

If you are in the left lane and not passing cars, get back into the right lane so I can pass your slow piece of poo poo car you loving idiot.

People should be literally beaten for doing this

Erethizon_dorsatum posted:

people who don't use their turn signals.

There's no reason for me to use my turn signal if I'm going faster than you

Wayside Bazaar
Jun 30, 2008



simple posted:

If you are in the left lane and not passing cars, get back into the right lane so I can pass your slow piece of poo poo car you loving idiot.

Yes I agree but if it wasn't for those people you would never get to pass them on the right, cutting them off while going 95mph, still firmly believing it's their fault for making you drive like a madman. Moving over for faster traffic is smart anyways when you don't feel like driving fast...it's very reassuring to have someone take the heat off you and not have to worry about spotting troopers all the time.

People deserve to die for stopping on a highway onramp though and I will try to make them get into an accident if I have the opportunity.

Wayside Bazaar fucked around with this message at Feb 12, 2014 around 19:22

Erethizon_dorsatum
Nov 14, 2009


Devils Affricate posted:

There's no reason for me to use my turn signal if I'm going faster than you

It's the law.

Ignoarints
Nov 26, 2010


Devils Affricate posted:

People should be literally beaten for doing this


There's no reason for me to use my turn signal if I'm going faster than you

wrong, people plan their moves subconsciously based on cues like turn signals. people who dont use them end up slowing traffic, and themselves, over time.

Captain Tolerable
Sep 29, 2010

JUST WIN BABY


someone speeding and cutting people off for going the speed limit, like going up right behind them, switching lanes, and then going immediately in front of them.

when he was about to do it to me i sped up like 10 mph and kept him in the other lane

i call it road passive aggression

Vladimir Putain
Oct 17, 2007

Remember that it's not the length of your lens or the width of your aperture that matters. What counts is the duration of your exposure.

I carry a gun in my car and brandish it whenever someone goes to slow in front of me, which is all the time.

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN
Apr 27, 2010

I put up my thumb... and it blotted out the planet Earth.



Vladimir Putain posted:

I carry a gun in my car and brandish it whenever someone goes to slow in front of me, which is all the time.

I do the same thing, but with an axe

LudwigVon Lugnuts
May 15, 2005

When the hell did I put Greenman on?!!

rcman50166 posted:

Cutting through gas stations to dodge a light is actually against the law. The violation is called avoidance of a traffic control device. And you can get a ticket.

I got into a yelling match with a dude who thought it was okay to do.

Hmm once in a while I will do this but I'm smarter than your average traffic device avoider. I pull up to the pump to "check the prices" for about 3 seconds.

Nelson Mandingo
Mar 27, 2005



Not an angry driver, drive the speed limit.

The only thing that genuinely makes me angry is people who shift into a lane other people are trying to get into. So say you've got a busy road you're trying to get onto with no light, and the right lane opens up, then someone from the middle lane shifts into it, without actually having to get onto that lane (Yes I watch you.) That always upsets me, because not only is it inconsiderate but it's dangerous. Almost ran into assholes multiple times from this over the years. Once a semi-truck did this.

Tailgaters. When someone is right on my rear end I make double sure I'm going the speed limit.

Nelson Mandingo fucked around with this message at Feb 12, 2014 around 19:14

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations

Soccer moms with their kids' names and sports stickers all over the back of the SUV which is too large for them to drive with visibility on a good day, and who are far too busy to look before merging into my lane/car/body.

Hi Kaighlynn #13, congratulations on your volleyball achievements, now please hide your mother's keys before she kills someone ty

rcman50166
Mar 23, 2010



HOLY poo poo IM IN THE LEFT LANE AND NEED TO GO RIGHT. IF I DONT MAKE THIS TURN RIGHT NOW IM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE

*causes accident*

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN
Apr 27, 2010

I put up my thumb... and it blotted out the planet Earth.



Maybe I wouldn't be so angry if there weren't so many awful drivers on the road. Makes you think.

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Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010


Ignoarints posted:

wrong, people plan their moves subconsciously based on cues like turn signals. people who dont use them end up slowing traffic, and themselves, over time.

Their fault for being slow, if everyone drove at a speed that actually made sense for the year 2014 then we wouldn't have such problems

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