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SaltLick
Oct 6, 2010



So thread title pretty much covers it. Do I chug water and try and clean out the pipes naturally? Get tested for STIs? Go to a doctor and pick up some anti burning pee antibiotics?


Pertinent info:

I was drunkenly slamming the usual whale raw dog for a couple minutes before wrapping it up. No issues have been noted before.

I am an American and doctors mean bankruptcy.



Also share your favorite burning piss stories or hilarious STDs you've gotten.

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Yellow Jackson
Jan 13, 2013

by Ralp


It's Cranberry Juice for you, OP.

rand
Apr 25, 2003


try coca tea
u can buy it on silk road

Stoic Commie
Aug 29, 2005

G's up
Hoes down


put a dry qtip in there as far as you can and see what you can get out



talk about your dickmoles here

Locker Room Zubaz
Aug 8, 2006


~*~THE SECRET OF THE MAGICAL CRYSTALS IS THAT I'M FUCKING TERRIBLE~*~




uhh go to planned parenthood free std tests

alternatively stick some bleech up your dick it will kill all the bacteria

Blacktoll
Oct 30, 2005


Stoic Commie posted:

put a dry qtip in there as far as you can and see what you can get out



talk about your dickmoles here

he's right OP this will get the cheddar out your dick

Matoi Ryuko
Jan 6, 2004



Yellow Jackson posted:

It's Cranberry Juice for you, OP.

Yep, he's probably got a UTI.

SaltLick
Oct 6, 2010



Yellow Jackson posted:

It's Cranberry Juice for you, OP.

I don't appreciate the cure being drink a lot of liquid and experience more burning piss

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

No, they just sit there in cap and nightgown, get their diplomas, and then along about forty years from now they suddenly say, "Where am I?"

Yellow Jackson posted:

It's Cranberry Juice for you, OP.

try this a whole bunch or rob a bank so you can be in the privileged basic healthcare class

JustTerrible
Apr 30, 2008


Wasps are probably living in your dick. Join a circus.

Swamp Fancy
Apr 6, 2003

Look, I'm not exaggerating when I say the success of your mission hinges on how you use that cardboard box.

does it taste salty?

Locker Room Zubaz
Aug 8, 2006


~*~THE SECRET OF THE MAGICAL CRYSTALS IS THAT I'M FUCKING TERRIBLE~*~




also you are a loving idiot for not wearing a condom and you deserve whatever nasty infection your dick now has

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

No, they just sit there in cap and nightgown, get their diplomas, and then along about forty years from now they suddenly say, "Where am I?"

SaltLick posted:

I don't appreciate the cure being drink a lot of liquid and experience more burning piss

cranberry juice specifically can neutralize the infection if youre lucky though.

Matoi Ryuko
Jan 6, 2004



SaltLick posted:

I don't appreciate the cure being drink a lot of liquid and experience more burning piss

You can either drink the cranberry juice until you feel better, or you can go to the doctor.

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

No, they just sit there in cap and nightgown, get their diplomas, and then along about forty years from now they suddenly say, "Where am I?"

Locker Room Zubaz posted:

also you are a loving idiot for not wearing a condom and you deserve whatever nasty infection your dick now has

yeah don't have sex w/o a condom unless youre like in a committed relationship with someone who's been tested and youre using other births control. maybe you should go back to high school and learn that.

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

We have such sights
to show you.
Come with us.
Taste our pleasures!


Sever.

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



my teeth hurt

Locker Room Zubaz
Aug 8, 2006


~*~THE SECRET OF THE MAGICAL CRYSTALS IS THAT I'M FUCKING TERRIBLE~*~




planned parenthood has free sti tests as long as you don't make a billion dollars a year

uG
Apr 23, 2003

they knew


if you drink cranbery juice to cure a uti then youre a shitlord. go to the walk in clinic and get your antibiotics and urethra numbing pillz

Yellow Jackson
Jan 13, 2013

by Ralp


SaltLick posted:

I don't appreciate the cure being drink a lot of liquid and experience more burning piss

You will have to drink liquid anyway to avoid dying, so

Dusseldorf
Mar 29, 2005



Are you going down, down, down into a burning ring of fire?

SaltLick
Oct 6, 2010



Bicyclops posted:

yeah don't have sex w/o a condom unless youre like in a committed relationship with someone who's been tested and youre using other births control. maybe you should go back to high school and learn that.

it's pretty much this since she uses birth control pills but i still like to play safe.


also i just read that cranberry juice doesnt work for men. poo poo guys this is bad

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

No, they just sit there in cap and nightgown, get their diplomas, and then along about forty years from now they suddenly say, "Where am I?"

Phlegmish posted:

my teeth hurt

maybe you shouldn't have been biting w/o a retainer, next time wrap those up

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010



cut it off become a women and problem solved

Darth123123
Jan 26, 2006



sounds like aids imo

uG
Apr 23, 2003

they knew


SaltLick posted:

it's pretty much this since she uses birth control pills but i still like to play safe.


also i just read that cranberry juice doesnt work for men. poo poo guys this is bad

oh wow who would have thought 2013 forums reg 'Yellow Jackson' has actually never had sex, let alone had to deal with a uti?

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

No, they just sit there in cap and nightgown, get their diplomas, and then along about forty years from now they suddenly say, "Where am I?"

SaltLick posted:

it's pretty much this since she uses birth control pills but i still like to play safe.


also i just read that cranberry juice doesnt work for men. poo poo guys this is bad

planned parenthood was a good suggestions but chances are p. good they're going to find out that it's a UTI and you'll have to pay for meds.

if it makes you feel any better, you can definitely get a UTI w/o having unprotected sex and in fact it happens to many women.

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

We have such sights
to show you.
Come with us.
Taste our pleasures!


NoneSuch posted:

cut it off become a women and problem solved

Just don't expect lesbians to be into you.

SaltLick
Oct 6, 2010



i want the black guy from the green mile to touch my dick and make this go away

Locker Room Zubaz
Aug 8, 2006


~*~THE SECRET OF THE MAGICAL CRYSTALS IS THAT I'M FUCKING TERRIBLE~*~




SaltLick posted:

i want the black guy from the green mile to touch my dick and make this go away

do you go to the outhouse and cry every night for a dribble of pee

SaltLick
Oct 6, 2010



crying yes, dribbling no

rand
Apr 25, 2003


Bloodfart McCoy posted:

Just don't expect lesbians to be into you.

what about Ms. Garrison and Mr. Slave

move to Colorado

Locker Room Zubaz
Aug 8, 2006


~*~THE SECRET OF THE MAGICAL CRYSTALS IS THAT I'M FUCKING TERRIBLE~*~




is it just pee or is there any white discharge

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

No, they just sit there in cap and nightgown, get their diplomas, and then along about forty years from now they suddenly say, "Where am I?"

SaltLick posted:

i want the black guy from the green mile to touch my dick and make this go away

uhhhhhm he didn't have to touch tom hank's weiner to use his powers though ...

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

No, they just sit there in cap and nightgown, get their diplomas, and then along about forty years from now they suddenly say, "Where am I?"

he has an extensive peeing scene in a lot of movies, come to think of it.

SaltLick
Oct 6, 2010



no discharge (yet ) so im probably good on that sti front.




Bicyclops posted:

uhhhhhm he didn't have to touch tom hank's weiner to use his powers though ...

everything i know is a lie

Yellow Jackson
Jan 13, 2013

by Ralp


uG posted:

oh wow who would have thought 2013 forums reg 'Yellow Jackson' has actually never had sex, let alone had to deal with a uti?

Uh what slander is this? It works for men, and it's good.

Darth123123
Jan 26, 2006



Locker Room Zubaz posted:

is it just pee or is there any white discharge

thick and ropey

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



NoneSuch posted:

cut it off become a women and problem solved

me irl

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amityville anus
Jan 30, 2010


spend the rest of the day eating beets

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