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Rando
Mar 11, 2004



quote:

Depression Quest is a game that deals with living with depression in a very literal way. This game is not meant to be a fun or lighthearted experience. If you are currently suffering from the illness and are easily triggered, please be aware that this game uses stark depictions of people in very dark places. If you are suicidal, please stop playing this game and visit this link to talk to someone.

The goal of this game is twofold: firstly, we want to illustrate as clearly as possible what depression is like, so that it may be better understood by people without depression. Hopefully this can be something to spread awareness and fight against the social stigma and misunderstandings that depression sufferers face. Secondly, our hope is that in presenting as real a simulation of depression as possible, other sufferers will come to know that they aren't alone, and hopefully derive some measure of comfort from that.

It goes without saying that because of the very nature of depression, it is experienced differently by every person who suffers from it. We aren't trying to say that this is the "best" or "most accurate" representation, merely that this is an amalgamation of the experiences of the developers and several people close to them. Many of the following encounters deal with issues such as therapy, medication, handling a love life, and reaching out to support networks. In reality, less than half of depression sufferers actually seek treatment, for reasons such as lack of money, perceived personal failing, or public stigma. These things were included in order to touch upon as broad a range as possible, since all these elements can be very important to sufferers of depression, though they will likely not be the experiences of most sufferers.

It's important to recognize that not everyone with depression is so lucky. Many people with the illness don't have a lot of the luxuries that we have in this game. We've written it this way so that we can focus specifically on the illness, which becomes more and more difficult to deal with as the person who has it is less and less well-off.

For that reason, a portion of the proceeds from this game will be donated to iFred.org to help support depression treatment and education. Click here if you'd like to contribute (or paypal patrick [at] pixelsordeath.com if it's giving you trouble)

This game uses audio as part of it's gameplay. We encourage you to play with your sound on.

First choice chosen three (3) times by 3 (three) different posters is what we get.

Ready to Get Depressed?

It is early on a Monday morning.

You are a mid-twenties human being. You have a significant other named Alex who you are rather fond of, that you have been seeing exclusively for the past few months. The rest of your social circle consists of a variety of friends and acquaintances, some of whom you met at your day job which is a little boring, but pays the rent. You'd like to be doing more with your life, as would your parents, but you're still in the process of figuring out what that means and how to go about it.

You are also dealing with motivation issues that sometimes makes dealing with these things difficult. You feel like this is probably your fault, and on bad days can feel inwardly angry and down on yourself for being "lazy", but you're not quite sure how you can break out of it, or how other people deal with these feelings and seem so very functional.

You spend a lot of nights fixating on thinking about this, but never seem to do anything about it other than lose sleep.

It's an unseasonably warm Wednesday evening.

You've spent the past several hours at work. The past week or so you've found your job motivation flagging more so than usual; you've been in a fog practically all day today, simply going through the motions without realizing even what you've been doing half the time, and yet time seemed to be moving at half speed. You're so checked out that when your boss approaches you to tell you that it's dead and you can go home early it barely registers.

As you walk home, the streets hiss from the recent rainfall. You know that your significant other will be in classes until late, another couple hours at least. You briefly consider using this serendipitous solitude to catch up on that project that you've been working on haphazardly for the past few months.

As soon as you think about the work that awaits you at home you can feel the panic creeping in from the back of your brain, unbidden. All you can think about is how incredibly far behind you are, and the amount of work seems nothing less than insurmountable.

By the time you arrive home and change out of your uncomfortable work clothes the stress is weighing down on you like a heavy, wet wool blanket. Your computer seems to be staring you down from your desk. You want to sit down and work but the mere thought of trying to work sends your stress levels flying; more than anything you feel suddenly and absolutely exhausted, and feel a strong desire to simply hide in bed.

Do you...

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Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

We have such sights
to show you.
Come with us.
Taste our pleasures!


I'm not depressed though.

Sid Delicious
Oct 31, 2007

this thread...it was made for me

im sad

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



Bloodfart McCoy posted:

I'm not depressed though.

I'm hoping we all will be the time it's over.

Yellow Jackson
Jan 13, 2013

by Ralp


Brain problems can be fixed or alleviated with St John's wort, an all natural herbal remedy.

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

We have such sights
to show you.
Come with us.
Taste our pleasures!


Yellow Jackson posted:

Brain problems can be fixed or alleviated with St John's wort, an all natural herbal remedy.

Suburban mom knows.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

all he wants is a hug.


why bother

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN
Apr 27, 2010

I put up my thumb... and it blotted out the planet Earth.



No thanks, I've been taking my pills regularly, OP.

Yellow Jackson
Jan 13, 2013

by Ralp


Considering the ease of effective self-medication, one really has no excuse.

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007

Must have yaself a real pritty voice.


hey instead of paying these guys money to listen to a guy poking a piano while reading way too many words, give me five dollars and every time you try to do something I'll start yelling at you about how you'll just gently caress it up so why bother you stupid rear end in a top hat.

very much better. much ludonarrative, yes.

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



The correct answer is #4

As much as you like the idea of trying to get work done tonight, the thought of the amount of catching up you have to do instantly freezes you up. The longer you stare at your computer, the higher your stress levels rise, until you're on the verge of a full blown panic attack. Not even wandering into the living room to try and watch TV relaxes you. You soon succumb to the mental and physical exhaustion and crawl into bed, making a point to close your laptop before you turn the light out. You lay in bed for some time feeling disappointed in your own inability to be productive before finally passing out.

You awake in the morning from a sleep that was far from restful. In fact, it seems impossible, but it's as though you're moretired than you were when you fell asleep last night. As you pick up your phone to shut your alarm off you see a handful of text messages from Alex that you apparently missed last night.

2 missed calls

Text Message: Hey - tried calling when I got out of class but I guess you're sleeping?

Text Message: Anyway I hope you had a good day at work, and I hope you were able to get some stuff done when you got home. I'll talk to you tomorrow? I'm out of class early.

Text Message: Good night babe. I love you.

It's a mild Friday afternoon.

Alex calls you from one of her classes telling you that there's going to be a "really awesome" birthday party tonight at her apartment that one of her roommates is throwing. You've hung out with this roommate a few times with Alex, and you get along well enough but aren't particularly close.

You don't have work in the morning, and have nothing else in particular to do tonight. You are feeling kind of run-down, but you have been fatigued most of the time lately.

You mention that you're feeling ill because you're not sure how else to explain those feelings to someone else, and say that you aren't sure that you can make it tonight.

There's a second of silence over your phone, but you can swear you can hear the sound of your partner's face fall.

She tries to convince you anyway. You haven't seen her this week, and she sounds pretty insistent that you come over. She even drops a few suggestively worded hints that you can stay over with them tonight after the party.

What do you do?

uG
Apr 23, 2003

they knew


d) make a post in e/n

Sintax
Aug 2, 2002

Let's drink until our hearts stop.

Rando posted:

You have a significant other
you're ruining my immersion

Absalom Baird
Jul 13, 2010


#3

When I played this I made all the obviously correct choices and BEAT DEPRESSION. So, I'm curious about the alternative; LET'S RUN THIS TRAIN INTO THE GROUND

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



The correct answer is 3

Despite your partner's pleas, you tell Alex you're unable to make it to the party tonight. You say you feel too ill and would just be a drag on everyone.

She sighs a sigh that you've heard many times before. One of exasperation, but patience.

"Well ok then. I just hope you feel better soon, I really miss you. I guess I'll see you next week or something..."

You apologize profusely and tell Alex that you love and miss her too, and promise to make plans for next weekend. She sounds somewhat distracted and distant as she agrees, says her goodnights, and hangs up.

You spend the rest of the night beating yourself up for feeling too lousy to go. You leave a few apologetic and loving texts to your partner, and you feel stressed out and forgotten when you don't receive a reply.

It's a little after noon on a muggy Saturday.

Your mother has come over for a surprise visit, claiming loudly that she doesn't see you enough so she'd decided to invite herself over. One of the first things she does is comment on how messy your apartment is. You tell her you know it's messy, and it actually bothers you too, you just for some reason haven't been able to work yourself up to cleaning the place up yet.As you converse, she walks around your place, and you get the distinct impression that you're being "inspected."

So what's going on with you lately, she asks abruptly.

Taken somewhat aback by this left-fielder you tell her you're not sure what she means. She repeats the question, saying that you haven't seemed like yourself lately - she gestures to the dirty dishes piled in the sink and notes the fact that you haven't called or visited in a while. Your reticence only seems to spur her on more; she presses you, asking if you're having problems at work or with Alex, and you're beginning to feel increasingly battered by her sudden well-meaning but overwhelming inquisition.

Under her questions you become increasingly uncomfortable. You want to be able to explain to her how you've been feeling, but the truth is you're not really sure yourself. Nothing horrific has happened at work or with your significant other or friends or anything like that, but all the same you can't deny that lately you've just felt drained and as though you're not really "here".

You wish you could tell your mother these things, but she hasn't been approachable about negative emotions in the past. She is the kind of person who holds the opinion that the solution to any problem is to simply try harder and maintain a positive attitude, a stance that has reared its head in past conversations when you've begun to explore the subject with her. You know she's unlikely to be understanding, and you feel the energy drain out of you when you imagine what would happen if you managed to blurt out everything you are feeling.

What do you do?

cuckold cleanup
Sep 27, 2013



whom, not who. gawd

pathetic little tramp
Dec 12, 2005

HE IS GLISTEN


change the subject tot he movie shrek and talk about shrek it is a good movie

Swamp Fancy
Apr 6, 2003

Look, I'm not exaggerating when I say the success of your mission hinges on how you use that cardboard box.

Sounds depressing

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



The correct answer is 4

"Are you okay?"

It's a question you've been finding yourself being asked a lot lately, and it's one that has begun to make you instantly uncomfortable. It's one you would have to spill your guts to adequately describe, which would be an almost impossible feat to perform at the moment. Even if you managed to, you'd have to fight through your self loathing long enough to keep talking despite feeling like everything you're saying amounts to simple bellyaching. If somehow you powered through THAT as well, you'd have to live with feeling truly exposed and you figure anyone who would know all of these things would be put off to you permanently.

More importantly, despite your mother's best intentions she is quite likely the worst possible person to try and wade through all of this bullshit with.

You evade the question by pretending you have received a text message. Once you pretend as though you're finished reading it, you change the subject back to one you know your mother is interested in. She takes the bait, and the topic is successfully changed.

A feel of unease lingers, and your stress levels stay high until she leaves a bit later. You wonder if you should talk to someone about all of this - someone who would be more sympathetic and not tell you to simply "think positive".

It is a lazy Sunday morning.

You are idly clicking around online as your phone rings. Sam, a coworker of yours that you're friendly with, asks how you are and makes hurried smalltalk with you. You typically only ever talk to him on the phone when one of you needs a shift covered, so it's slightly awkward. You're waiting in anticipation for him to ask you to come in on short notice when he veers the conversation in a completely different direction.

"How do you feel about cats?", he asks. "Mine had kittens a few weeks ago and I'm having an awfully hard time finding a home for the last one of the litter. You don't have any pets, right?"

It takes you a moment to process this new information, and you're caught off guard as he begins to earnestly try to sell you on the idea of taking the last kitten off his hands. It's not something that you had specifically considered before, and he seems fairly insistent.

"She's a real sweetheart, really loves people. She's got all her shots already taken care of and the vet said she's healthy as a horse. I can bring her over by your place tonight if you're interested."

You look around your apartment and try to picture a cat in it as he continues to tell you about how cute she is. You tell him that this is all kind of sudden, and that you don't have anything for the kitten set up here.

"Oh don't worry about that, I can bring over a litterbox and food and all that since you'd really be helping me out of a fix. It's the least I could do! I just don't want to have to put her in a shelter."

You can't help but feel like you're being guilt tripped, but you decide to give it some serious consideration. It DOES get awfully lonely around your apartment, and it might feel less empty with a cat around. However, since you've been feeling so down it might not be a good idea to take on the responsibility of a cat even if they are fairly low maintenance.

What do you do?

ArtIsResistance
May 19, 2007

4. pussygrinder (featuring sheryl crow)

8. even closer (featuring justin timberlake and maynard james keenan)


just played this game, there's never an option that says "admit depression isn't a real thing and actually do something instead of whining to yourself like a toddler" so it's not too realistic.

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



The correct answer is 5

You've never been a fan of cats. You feel like they all hate you, and you figure you have enough hate coming from your own inner monologues already.

"I'm sorry, I just can't right now. I hope you find a good home for her."

You sit through a few more sales pitch statements that border on guilt trips and rebut them with fabricated excuses about your landlord not allowing pets before your coworker gives up, and thanks you anyway. You wish him luck in finding a home for her, and as you hang up you feel pangs of guilt as you imagine him having to put her in a shelter.

The next day at work, you run into your coworker and breathe a sigh of relief as he informs you that he was able to find a good home for the kitten.

It's late Friday afternoon, and Quitting Time is just around the corner.

A bright clear day is giving way to a still, temperate evening. You can hear your coworkers all around you anxiously making plans for their evenings and weekends, but you're really looking forward to just going home and resting after what's turned out to be a very long and taxing work week.

Just before the end of your shift, you get a call from Alex. It seems a group of your mutual friends are heading out to a nearby pub for dinner and drinks to celebrate the end of the week, and they want to know if you'd like to come along. You tentatively tell her that you're emotionally exhausted from the work week and a social outing like that would just take too much out of you today. You encourage her to go and have a good time, since you know it's been a while since she's gone out with friends, but the effort feels futile since you know that she isn't going to go without you.

A couple hours later the two of you find yourselves in a familiar position: on the couch, watching comedy shows on Netflix, a box of pizza open on the coffee table in front of you. As you look across the couch at her, you start to feel anxious. You feel bad about effectively forcing the two of you to stay in tonight, again. While you are always appreciative of your partner's efforts to take your feelings into account and help make sure you're socially comfortable, you sincerely worry that you're holding her back from enjoying a more fulfilling relationship.

While she does seem to enjoy spending time with you, as the two of you sit in comfortable, almost contented silence watching old shows you've each seen two or three times before, your ever-increasing fear that your relationship is becoming one-sided weighs more and more heavily on you. You feel more than ever like a burden or a ward to her, and it's virtually impossible for you to see what value you could possibly offer to her in return. Worst of all, this nagging fear has made you feel more self-conscious than ever, withdrawing ever inwards, and you've started to pull away even from Alex herself.

What do you do?

Kid Gloves
Jul 31, 2013



im depressed

Sapient Afro
Jan 22, 2012

Well, you threatened to shove a knife up his dickhole.



arent i supposed to be mad at this game cause the creator is a sex-haver and also not a man or w/e

Swamp Fancy
Apr 6, 2003

Look, I'm not exaggerating when I say the success of your mission hinges on how you use that cardboard box.

like we ever have an option

Buckwild Dorf
Apr 5, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 7 days!


I'm depressed and I think cutting my dick off will help.

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



The correct answer is 4

This is far from the first time you would have had this conversation with her, and it's one that plays out the same way every time. You explain your fears of being worthless, she tries to tell you that she doesn't see you that way, you insist that she is biased or just being nice to you because she's your girlfriend, and she gets frustrated. It never resolves, nothing new is ever said, and rarely do you feel reassured by it.

Occasionally she tries to broach the subject, trying to discover why you feel like this about yourself. This always makes you feel nervous - you're sometimes convinced that the only reason she's still with you is because she doesn't know how awful you really are. As time as gone on, you've gotten more comfortable trying to express bits and pieces of your insecurities to her, but it still causes you to feel very on guard and it's not a conversation you can have for too long without worrying you're going to scare her away.

The weight of an unspoken, unresolved issue in your relationship joins you in the room for a little while, but you dare not pick at it for the rest of the night.
It is a breezy Sunday afternoon.

You've allowed Amanda, an old friend from school that is in town for the weekend to talk you into leaving the house for coffee and catch up. You meet her in a small cafe and talk about what you've been up to since you've last seen each other, and you can't help but feel like they are a lot more accomplished and interesting than you are while listening to them talk about their life after school.

When it's your turn to brief them on your activities, you feel anxious and ashamed and give a very abbreviated version. You try to talk about your job as little as possible, and you feel incredibly boring while you describe it despite her expressing sincere interest in you and your life.

Amanda has known you long enough to read your mood and tone of voice. She leans into ask a question while gently touching your hand, a look of genuine concern on her face.

"What's wrong?"

Do you...

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



This one's tough.

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007

Must have yaself a real pritty voice.


#5: literally shaking

Swamp Fancy
Apr 6, 2003

Look, I'm not exaggerating when I say the success of your mission hinges on how you use that cardboard box.

Seoinin posted:

#5: literally shaking

drilldo squirt
Aug 18, 2006

I am so excited to be on the internet, be nice to me :-) <3

5

pathetic little tramp
Dec 12, 2005

HE IS GLISTEN


somebody goonnna strangle a ho

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



Going with 5

It's such a small question, but it feels like a blow to the gut. You surprise yourself when you realize that your tightly clenched fists are now beginning to shake slightly. Despite your best efforts, you feel tears begin to sting at your eyes. You try to disguise this by tilting your head up and praying that they'll suck back in.

She suggests that you two get out of there, and you feel mortified. She offers to go back to your apartment with you, but the two of you end up talking in her car for two hours as the words just pour forth from you.

Amanda seems unsure of what to say at times, but she listens and rubs your back as you sob and talk. She asks if you've gone to a doctor about this, and you admit that you haven't. She mentions that her mother is seeing a very good therapist in town, and offers to ask her about it.

You're not thrilled about the idea of going to a therapist and even less thrilled that Amanda might be telling someone about your problems, but she persists and tells you she'll email you the doctor's contact information later in the week.

It's a glaringly sunny Monday, and one of the few days that your brother Malcolm is in town and free long enough for you two to actually see each other.

You have a dental appointment that day but you make plans for him to pick you up afterward.

Your appointment takes a little longer than expected because your dentist tells you that you've started grinding your teeth in your sleep to a worrying degree. Given how nearly everything in your life has been feeling enormous and stressful lately, this doesn't come as a surprise to you. He suggests that you try to reduce your stress levels and fits you for a night guard. It feels awkward and too big for your mouth, and you feel embarrassed looking at your puffed out face in the mirror with it in. You finish up the appointment in a hurry and leave about a half an hour overdue for meeting your always punctual brother in the parking lot.

You finish up as quickly as possible and leave the building to scan the parking lot for your brother's car, but you don't see his old Civic anywhere. You pass by a blue Camero and jump as it beeps at you, causing you to jump in surprise. It takes you a moment for to realize it, but it's Malcolm in the driver's seat.

You hop in the passengers seat and compliment him on his new ride and he mentions that it's a perk of a promotion he's recently obtained at work. He starts telling you about how much more money he's making, how his career is really taking off, and how he's starting to look at houses with his wife soon.

You clutch the bag containing the night guard in your hand and feel yourself clench your teeth as you think of your crummy apartment and how long it's been since you've been able to take a day off work without having to worry about making ends meet. He's only 2 years older than you, but it feels like he's eons ahead of you in every other aspect of your lives.

"So..." he asks, "How did your appointment go? Did you get drilled full of holes or what?"

A sense of shame creeps over you.

pathetic little tramp
Dec 12, 2005

HE IS GLISTEN


I'm not reading all that but it looks like Malcolm rules and you suck so maybe offer to be Malcolm's live-in maid

drilldo squirt
Aug 18, 2006

I am so excited to be on the internet, be nice to me :-) <3

3.

Rando
Mar 11, 2004



Liar liar liar worthless liar

"Oh no. Just a cleaning..." your voice trails off as you stare out of the passenger's side window, head resting on your hand.

There's a brief silence and you can feel your brother's eyes on you. You hear him take a breath, preparing to say something, then hesitate. Though you may not be exceptionally close anymore, you know that he could tell you're holding something back. You brace yourself for probing questions you really don't have the energy to answer.

"Hey. Why don't we get something fancy for dinner? My treat."

You feel like a little kid again, being looked after by your big brother. A part of you prickles up and feels pathetic for this. But the larger part of you that is stressed out, exhausted, and grateful for the familiar comfort of family.

Malcolm never presses you further that night, and takes your mind off of things for a while.

It's a dry Sunday morning.

You grab your morning coffee and sit down at your desk to check your email. A new message pops up in your inbox almost as soon as you do. It's from Amanda, and you remember your meeting in the cafe and awkwardly bringing up your feelings to her.

Subj: Hey buddy
Body: Hey. Sorry it's been a few weeks. I meant to get this to you sooner, but it took a while for me to get a hold of my folks back home. Dad told me to say hi by the way.

Anyway, I remembered what we talked about last time I saw you and I hope you aren't insulted, but I asked my mom for the number for her therapist. Don't worry! I didn't tell her who it was for. I think she's worried about me now though, haha.

Anyway, the number is 647-723-5274. It's a really good office, you should look into it. Talking to someone never hurts.

If you're worried about money, don't be. They're one of the few that has a really good sliding scale fee system and won't charge you what you can't afford.

I hope you're feeling better. It was really nice to see you again!

- A

It's still early enough that you could call and make an appointment today.

What do you do?

Parallax Scroll
Nov 13, 2009

spiderman

too many words voted 1

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

madam, your hydraulic pressure is atrocious!

Fondle your breasts. Correct answer for either males or females.

drilldo squirt
Aug 18, 2006

I am so excited to be on the internet, be nice to me :-) <3

4

A big flaming stink
Apr 26, 2010


Playing Depression Quest this way is much more accurate simulation of depression than the actual game since you routinely make the worst possible choices without feeling like you have any real control over your own actions.

Also mega at someone depressed already having a job, their own place, a girlfriend and a great support network that cares about their emotional state.

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Swamp Fancy
Apr 6, 2003

Look, I'm not exaggerating when I say the success of your mission hinges on how you use that cardboard box.

#4 oh the embarrassment

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