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kidcoelacanth
Sep 23, 2009

~*LEGACY*~


farts are basically gas, which is lighter than air, so if you farted a bunch would you get heavier

asking for a friend

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Christmas Miracle
Dec 25, 2012
STEAL ALL THE FARM

so like, very thread, much posting

Titty Warlord
Apr 28, 2013

HOOKED ON THE BROS͑ͣͭͯͬ̂S̉S̐̉ͣSSͮ̇ͨ̃ͩ͗ͦS͆ͪS̓̉ͬ̓̓̉S̓̋͋̽̓̚S͒̍S̏̿͂̌ͤ̒S̈Sͥ̆͊̿ͤ͋̍S̓̈̓̓Sͫ̌̐̽̌S̉ͧ̓̊̄ͯSSͯͣ͂̐ͣ̾̈́S̃̂ͭ͊̚S̆ͨS̃ͮͤ̈́̌ͭS͒̀ͣS͊̓͂̓̊̄̀S̿́̏̏̑͆S̒ͬͩ̾̿̚S̔͑̈SͧS͋ͫͪ̔̍ͯ

Christmas Miracle posted:

so like, very thread, much posting

eat poo poo

Ordrakon
Oct 7, 2013

































































get it?

Swamp Fancy
Apr 6, 2003

Look, I'm not exaggerating when I say the success of your mission hinges on how you use that cardboard box.

Tell your friend, yes.

Space cash
Mar 22, 2007



Yes you do get heavier, go stand on a scale and rip one. Even small farts can add pounds of weight

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations

if you fart enough you will become heavier and denser, which will make you push out more gas, which which will make you heavier, and quickly cycles out of control until your body collapses under its own weight into a neutron star with an rear end in a top hat in it, manically shooting out gamma ray gas

Gimbal lock
Dec 28, 2008

Incoming top secret message for this thread's local cretin:


Well OP, I'm glad you asked!
You'd weigh less after farting.
A gas that's less dense than air will float up in air effectively having negative weight, but that doesn't mean that the gas has negative mass. It isn't in the air while it's in your rear end so you get no benefit from the lift created by the fart density differential. All of that assumes that you fart magic since you're only farting the gasses that happen to be lighter than air.

See it this way: Oil floats in water, but that doesn't mean that oil doesn't weigh anything. Give yourself an oil-and-water enema and report back if you've lost any weight.

Whiskey Sours
Jan 25, 2014

Weather proof.


Methane is heavier than air.

edit:
apparently this is wrong, OP still an idiot

CannedMacabre
Jul 6, 2007

In space, no one
can hear you fart.


Dongicus posted:

eat poo poo



*farts*

vyst
Aug 25, 2009

Ask me about getting into Goonwaffe early or not taking too long to answer your emails!

Fart in my mouth and tell me you love me.

The Fattest PI
Mar 4, 2008
VAGINA AVOIDER; LEADER OF THE BIBLE STUDY GROUP; WETTEST BLANKET


Farts make me weigh more because my peener always grows when i hear them.

Nanomashoes
Aug 18, 2012



The Fattest PI posted:

Farts make me weigh more because my peener always grows when i hear them.

actually you'd have the same amount of blood in your body, just in a different place

Sham I Am
Jan 14, 2008
I Am Sham

whoflungpoop posted:

if you fart enough you will become heavier and denser, which will make you push out more gas, which which will make you heavier, and quickly cycles out of control until your body collapses under its own weight into a neutron star with an rear end in a top hat in it, manically shooting out gamma ray gas
And that is how Ted Cruz was born.

Mans
Sep 14, 2011

We have the dimension of an empire.


why do you think fat people are fatter than non fat people

the smell of farts is a give-away.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001


Nanomashoes posted:

actually you'd have the same amount of blood in your body, just in a different place

No, my body makes blood just to get my peener hard.

kidcoelacanth
Sep 23, 2009

~*LEGACY*~


Thanks all, I reported the findings to my friend but he just punched me in the stomach like always.

olaf2022
Feb 19, 2003


and did that make you become heavier?

Fuck Your Website
Nov 29, 2003
FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE


Take a physics class for fucksake

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007


BetterTasteThnU posted:

Take a physics class for fucksake

your humours seem to be out of proportion. u seem bilious

Aryu Kiddimeh
Nov 9, 2012


Look I am a computer typing guy, not a scientist.

dangerburrd
Feb 20, 2013


So if you were in space and you farted really hard (like REAL hard) would you be able to propel yourself through the vacuum?

Also the same question but with poop.

Rivethead
Feb 22, 2008


dangerburrd posted:

So if you were in space and you farted really hard (like REAL hard) would you be able to propel yourself through the vacuum?

Also the same question but with poop.

This could have changed the movie Gravity significantly.

The Droid
Jun 11, 2012



Speaking of gas i'm gonna go make a lovely thread

bones jones
Jan 29, 2014

by Ralp


Farts were invented by liberal scientists in order to punish red-blooded Americans for enjoying American pastimes like imbibing brewskies and shoveling steak down one's gullet.

Christo
Feb 5, 2008

BARK BARK BARK


dangerburrd posted:

So if you were in space and you farted really hard (like REAL hard) would you be able to propel yourself through the vacuum?

Also the same question but with poop.

From what I remember of high school physics, since the vector of the force you're applying doesn't intersect your center of gravity, you'd mostly just rotate in place. I think? Maybe?

Kind of hilarious to imagine anyway.

Hobohemian
Sep 29, 2005

no mi amigos

i bought that av for A Buttery Pastry

like this av for twee as fuck Hobohemian



kidcoelacanth posted:

farts are basically gas, which is lighter than air, so if you farted a bunch would you get heavier

asking for a friend

If you farted a bunch of gas lighter than air into a container attached to you you would get lighter, especially since the gas is heated to your internal body temperature. That's a lot of farts though. You up to the challenge?

Ignoarints
Nov 26, 2010


why are farts lighter than air. which is gas.
even if it was lighter than air, its still leaving you, making you lighter since its some sort of mass leaving your rear end in a top hat

DID YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT THIS AT ALL

OMFG FURRY
Jul 10, 2006

[snarky comment]

one day im going to get really stoned and make a bunch of threads like this

wa27
Jan 14, 2007



Ignoarints posted:

why are farts lighter than air. which is gas.
even if it was lighter than air, its still leaving you, making you lighter since its some sort of mass leaving your rear end in a top hat

DID YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT THIS AT ALL

Wouldn't that just make you less massive, but still heavier?

Like if I let out all the helium from a balloon, it would stop floating and weigh more on a scale.

You all are acting as if the OP is an idiot, but I think YOU ALL are the dumb ones.

edit: HOWEVER, I imagine gas in the human body is compressed, so it might weigh more than air anyway.

wa27 fucked around with this message at Feb 13, 2014 around 21:07

Hobohemian
Sep 29, 2005

no mi amigos

i bought that av for A Buttery Pastry

like this av for twee as fuck Hobohemian



wa27 posted:

Wouldn't that just make you less massive, but still heavier?

Like if I let out all the helium from a balloon, it would stop floating and weigh more on a scale.

You all are acting as if the OP is an idiot, but I think YOU ALL are the dumb ones.

The other way around. You would be more dense, since less dense gas left your body. So you would have a lower overall weight, but a higher overall mass. This is also assuming you're not breathing. So it's your dumb gay corpse we're talking about.

ballass
Jan 16, 2014

by angerbeet


when I take a big dump, like a massive diarrhea in the tub for example. when I get done laying in it and rolling around, sometimes I weight my self. im usually lighter after? maybe you are thinking of something else OP?

wa27
Jan 14, 2007



Hobohemian posted:

The other way around. You would be more dense, since less dense gas left your body. So you would have a lower overall weight, but a higher overall mass. This is also assuming you're not breathing. So it's your dumb gay corpse we're talking about.

But the gas is mass, and it's leaving your body (without being replaced with something like air). Mass - mass = less mass.

But you'd be heavier on a scale or balance because the lighter-than-air gas inside you was making you more buoyant in the air.

This is all assuming farts are lighter than air.

Twee as Fuck
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW


i thought this thread would be about facebook adding 50 different genders and asking you your pronouns

because they just announced that

The Landstander
Apr 20, 2004

I stand on land.

I'm the friend in the OP

The Landstander
Apr 20, 2004

I stand on land.

Twee as gently caress posted:

i thought this thread would be about facebook adding 50 different genders and asking you your pronouns

Mine is "Landstander" (to both)

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN
Apr 27, 2010

I put up my thumb... and it blotted out the planet Earth.



I hate everyone in this thread.

Ordrakon
Oct 7, 2013



GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

I hate everyone in this thread.

We hate you too

you irl
Jan 22, 2014


Sorry op, you can't blame your weight gain on farting.

Weight is the force acting on your body's mass due to gravity. Fart out some gas, lose mass, lose weight. Pump up your inflatable butt plug, gain mass, gain weight.

However, your crappy bathroom scale estimates your weight by measuring the displacement of a spring. The effect of the environment has on your body effects that measurement, even though it doesn't change your weight. Put your scale under an industrial fan and the increased downward air pressure will cause it to report too high. Tie a helium balloon around your neck as part of your sick auto-erotic asphyxiation fetish and the increased upward air pressure will cause it to report too low.

When you fart you slightly increase your body's density (by getting rid of low density gas) causing (depending on your body position) the downward air pressure on your body to increase, and causing the scale to slightly over-estimate your weight.

If you want to see how much of an effect this will have, just take a big breath, step on the scale, and breath out. That's a far larger difference in body density than a fart, and you'll find that it's much too small for the scale to notice. And even if you had a fart-volume-body-density-accurate-scale, you're just fooling the scale, not changing your weight.

tl;dr lose some weight you farting fatty

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Gypsum Fantastic
Aug 8, 2012



True story I was actually running late for work this morning but by sheer luck I had a lot of gas built up inside of me, so I let off a series of strategic little squeeky ones and I swear that it got me there a little quicker, can a scientist confirm that this is basically the human equivalent of using NOS?

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