[TELL] me about being an adult virgin

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > [TELL] me about being an adult virgin

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

Neo Duckberg posted:

Freaking Noob

If you can't jam on a breast then don't slam with the rest.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2014 22:41

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 19:03

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

This country went to hell when they gave virgins the right to vote, I tell you what.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2014 16:48

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

Xeom posted:

I think eventually you become asexual, or at least that's what has happened to me. I am 26 and cant remember the last time I even tried to talk to a woman with the interest being romantic. It's true eventually you stop trying completely. I can't even remember the last time a woman even displayed anything resembling interest towards me either.

I am pretty atypical and just find making friends difficult. I have two friends right now. We became friends mostly from working in class together. I rarely go out, and can't stand clubs and most bars. I tried the club stuff early on during my twenties but you couldn't pay me to go into a club these days.

Also you just start having to deal with so many things in your life that there is no time to care about relationships, and the free time you do get you don't want to burn trying to meet people. Which usually ends up badly making you depressed and then affecting everything else. I find it's best to just have the social interactions I need to feel ok, and then keep to myself.

I believed that one day my life would get better and I could focus on relationships again, but the truth is I am going to spend the rest of my life poor and working just to barely live. It could be worse I could be in some 3rd world country starving. The worst part of my life is that I won't even have that sort of intimate relationship. You really just learn to live with it, and in time stop thinking about having sex completely.

That's... that's not how the human body works. There are plenty of people below the poverty line who have time to date and start families, I think you might be depressed.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2014 06:45

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

g r r nasty posted:

therapy isn't going to get him a better job or get him laid you dumb poo poo

Haven't you ever heard of sex therapists? :colbert:

# ¿ Feb 23, 2014 23:29

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

How can you not get laid at ART SCHOOL.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2014 17:19

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

That's like an actual class, I think.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2014 17:19

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

FoolyCharged posted:

Are dating sites really that bad with obvious gold diggers?

Keep in mind that I'm talking about people asking for specific salaries and crap, there's enough social dysfunction in this thread that I feel a decent number of people are capable of mistaking a girl wanting to know if you're economically stable with solid life goals and a girl asking how much is in your wallet.

No? I've also used Okcupid a lot and met my girlfriend on there and never met anyone like that. Crazy poly-girls who write Sherlock slash fiction (and proudly flaunt it) yes, but never anyone who was looking for money.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2014 01:23

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

pointsofdata posted:

My hypothesis would be that there's an inverse relationship between chance of ever getting late and post length analysing why poster is not getting laid.

FYAD posters: rolling in the V

# ¿ Feb 25, 2014 15:43

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

Words!!!! The antithesis of sexhaving!!

# ¿ Feb 25, 2014 19:17

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

serious norman posted:

Get a Vietnamese Wife.

And then she makes the grilled cheese?

# ¿ Feb 26, 2014 18:56

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

So grilled cheese is a metaphor for vaginas right? Right guys?

# ¿ Feb 26, 2014 23:14

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

Starter Wiggin posted:

All you dicks are being deliberately obtuse.
Rice cooker: can also steam veggies
Knives: cut everything if you had a special knife just to cut aged Swiss then you're a fuckwad
Slow cooker: can cook all sorts of poo poo like whole hunks of meat or stew or soup

Let's move this summabitch thread to goons with spoons

# ¿ Feb 27, 2014 13:00

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

After the first time I had sex I leaped out of bed and started writing new and complex math formulas on the wall like in A Beautiful Mind. Hard to believe that having sex changes things so drastically for you. Then I got a job at NASA with the rest of the ladykillers, because obviously more sex = better person.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2014 22:36

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

Forceholy posted:

No, but it will increase your odds of experiencing it. Most women don't like dating poor people who live with their parents for whatever reason. Whenever the topic of intimacy arises here, most advice centers on being an interesting person; in other words, having money. People like being with fit (being able to afford a gym membership and food that's not HFCS-laden poo poo), attractive (Being able to afford beauty products, Dental work, etc.), well-traveled (Travel=Money) people. Unless you have the funds to pull this off, you're hosed.

Because people who live at home never, ever get laid, right? Sounds like someone's making excuses...

# ¿ Mar 2, 2014 01:03

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

tbp posted:

Having a lot of money makes you more attractive to women, from what I have seen in my experience.

Having a loving personality does the same thing.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 00:10

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

Help I fell off the sex ladder and my big dong hit every rung on the way down and started slapping me in the face

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 02:15

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

ZergFluid posted:

Feel free to keep spluttering and not refute my analysis.

Because most people date whoever the gently caress they want and don't have to come up with some kind of super elaborate flowchart to excuse the fact that they're alone

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 02:20

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

"This drat feminism means that woman are dating more attractive men! Somehow! loving bitches, making me have to settle."

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 02:25

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

People had lots of sex and went for attractive partners before the sexual revolution too you dumb poo poo

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 02:30

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

ZergFluid posted:

Hmm, the virginal men who have posted in this thread are unattractive social retards with lovely personalities? Good to know. Thanks for pouring your heart out guys!!!!

"It's not their fault! Market forces are conspiring to keep men from sticking their penises in things!"

ZergFluid posted:

Better not complain, male virgins, and blame anything other than yourselves for your plight.

"It's their own faults for whatever reason!"

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 07:14

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

Maybe some of these guys are virgins because they arbitrarily rank women on a scale of worth

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 07:16

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

Agent Kool-Aid posted:

you're actively going somewhere my mind can't comprehend or follow, are you sure about this groundbreaking idea

Did I loving splutter?

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 07:18

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

Wait, just going back to what he said before, if 80% of all women have children, but only 40% of all men do (and there's an equal number of men and women), does this mean on average every father has a child with 2 women?

change my name fucked around with this message at 22:19 on Mar 3, 2014

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 22:16

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

ZergFluid posted:

The men who lose are hesistant to complain because of the sort of cackling seen in this thread. There are multiple ways of losing: If one goes through his 20s sex starved but ends up marrying a 30 year old woman in his 30s who pops out two kids only for their marriage to then become a sexless one, then one has, in part, lost. Ultimately many of those men who never got any meaningful amounts of validation sex become the marks of women whose clock has began ticking loudly, and the fact that they are succesfully snared (under the lure of finally getting habitual sex) does not mean they have not lost.

A "Game of Dongs", if you will

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 22:44

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

My girlfriend makes much more money than I do. Am I.... am I a beta??? :ohdear:

# ¿ Mar 4, 2014 21:02

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

Pfirti86 posted:

What the gently caress is an 'alpha' anyways? I want the people who use terms like that (alpha, beta, etc) to describe them in as detailed a manner as possible. Is it just alpha and beta? Are there gammas? Zetas?

Alphas get the girls, betas get the scraps, zetas kidnap the alphas and ransom them back to the US government in prisoner exchanges. It's simple man-science!

# ¿ Mar 4, 2014 23:24

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

Alpha wolves are like Goku, in that both get their pick of women and are featured prominently on my clothing.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2014 23:34

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

vyst posted:

Sex is like money. People that say it doesn't bring you happiness are the ones that have it.

Also it can be exchanged for goods and services.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2014 21:21

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

I find myself frequently out-sexed by all these krogans bragging about how many balls they have

drat this herpiarchy

# ¿ Mar 10, 2014 17:03

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

"Oh yeah, put it... somewhere, I guess. Whatever"

# ¿ Mar 10, 2014 21:40

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

insufficient guns posted:

Hey I'll gently caress you if you let me live in your flat for free.

At the beginning of each month, I'll promise you we'll have sex next month, and we'll never actually end up having sex.

This reminds me of "the detector", a goon who let his female friend live with him because he thought that meant they'd HAVE to have sex... until she found the water bottle he was saving months of cum in and freaked the gently caress out at him

# ¿ Mar 12, 2014 00:46

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

supermikhail posted:

That's probably great fertilizer... just wouldn't work on humans. What was the idea, anyway?

he was just a weirdo doing it for fun, and also had lactating man-breasts

# ¿ Mar 12, 2014 02:02

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

ZergFluid posted:

Nah.

The fedora has essentially become a signal of low sexual market value due to its use as an obvious attempt to get "style" by low sexual market value males. The fedora would not be so offensive if more attractive men wear wearing it.

Women are repulsed by the fedora because of its association with these sexual losers.

Everything comes down to sexual rank, sexual economics, the sexual marketplace, etc.

(These sexual losers might hold certain MRA-esque opinions because they are merely bitter sexual losers. Their views, as it were, are just like the fedora -- a consequence of their sexual loserdom.)

That's why I believe it's simply humane to make sex cheaper for males by decriminalizing prostitution.

No man is owed sex, but governments should sure as hell get out of their way if these men want to purchase sex. No, such obviously transactional sex is not as worthwhile as validational sex (i.e two people liking each and deciding to gently caress) but if male sexual losers can't have the latter at least let them have the former.

How does this not make sense to you people!?!?

Because we're not autistic and there's no such thing as a sexual marketplace except in the literal sense.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2014 03:00

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

ZergFluid posted:

Uhuh. Dismiss me as a mental cripple -- so easy to do for people whose arguments and views unsettle you.

The fact that you recognize you're unsettling is the first correct thing you've posted so far.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2014 03:05

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

ZergFluid posted:

I am unsettling because you are mired in blue pill thinking and are a captive of the so called "feminine imperative."

I have sex successfully all the time, why would I take Viagra? What the hell are you talking about?

# ¿ Mar 30, 2014 03:29

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

Gatts posted:

"Red Pill" vs "Blue Pill" like in the Matrix. Apparently like on Reddit those who are Men's Rights Activists and burned by women talk about the Red Pill which is the reality of how the matriarchy or some poo poo works for reals yo, women are out to get you and make you suffer. I dunno, but it's something like that.

Oh I know, but of the two things Viagra actually exists. So that's the one I went with.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2014 03:42

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 19:03

change my name: Aug 27, 2007; Legends die but anime is forever.

RIP The Lost Otakus.

[TELL] me about not being a virgin anymore, also how to stop smoking crack

# ¿ Mar 31, 2014 19:12

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > [TELL] me about being an adult virgin