[TELL] me about being an adult virgin

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > [TELL] me about being an adult virgin

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Goldmine please.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2014 22:21

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 18:05

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

You guys realize tweakers will touch your penis for like $5 and a Mc Donald's cheeseburger right?

Hth.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2014 22:57

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Synonymous posted:

Do you at least get to eat part of the Cheeseburger yourself? I'm not made of cash.

Only if you buy a rubber. If they get the whole hamburger, you go raw-dog.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2014 23:06

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

^^^ This is probably one of the most depressing things I've ever read.

E: gently caress it, replace forums.somethingawful.com/index.php with this thread.

Turtlicious fucked around with this message at 05:07 on Feb 23, 2014

# ¿ Feb 23, 2014 04:47

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

A female colleague silently approaches the water cooler, hoping to escape the baffling stench of stale food and rear end fumes coming from the neckbeard in the next cubicle. Little does she know the hotdog smell is stuck in her hair. As she silently weeps to herself, the goon, a scavenger and opportunistic predator, approaches.

*heavy breathing*

...

"Wanna gently caress?"

# ¿ Feb 23, 2014 05:59

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Ausmund posted:

Lets get some virgoon pics up in this bitch

Are you a serial killer?

# ¿ Feb 27, 2014 03:49

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

If you orgasm and there is another person involved, you're having sex. Jesus.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2014 03:43

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

squirting mastery posted:

Is the sexual currency still volatile?

With bitcoins in the shitter, Sexual Currency can only go up uP UP!

# ¿ Mar 4, 2014 11:12

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Anne Whateley posted:

Alphas have two-foot dicks, over a million dollars, and everything they want. They only bone HB10s and only in groups of 10.

Betas are average guys who will never get laid unless HB10s are forced to become prostitutes, or until the HB10s hit 30 or have an alpha's baby, thereby automatically become disgusting, and decide they want the beta's money even though they hate him.

Omegas are everybody's bitch, never leave their goon holes, and will probably die virgins.

Lone wolves are the guys telling you all this. They could totally become an alpha any second if they wanted, they're just too smart to want it. Or they have some trifling little flaw that's not their fault but shallow bitches care about because vapid whores.

This ranking for men is all kind of complex, so to save some time, there's a simple sorting system for women. All women are either useful holes, or they are not.

This is gross on many many levels.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2014 00:24

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

You wanna start a rev-vo-lu-shuuunnnnn, welll ya know

We can't all blow the world.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2014 05:04

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

EN Bullshit posted:

IIRC, two people met through that thread and one raped the other.

Jesus Christ.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2014 00:34

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 18:05

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Emulator posted:

Nothing wrong with that at all. Its one of my favorite feelings when I'm curled up with someone, her body fitting perfectly against mine and her head on my chest as we sleep/wake up. I'm sure you'll experience it one day soon, there's someone for everyone out there.

I'm fat, so her body kind of fits around mine. but yeah, it's still a cool feeling. My moobs make great pillows apparently.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2014 07:46

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > [TELL] me about being an adult virgin