[TELL] me about being an adult virgin

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > [TELL] me about being an adult virgin

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

gently caress da Mods posted:

lol @ fagoons who refuse to do anal. Are you kidding me? And no, you're still a virgin until you partake in penetrative sex. End of story.

I was a late bloomer, losing my V-card at 19. Does that mean I got my first blowjob? A handy? Hell nah. Fuckin' sex. And it rocked and she came. That was when I stopped being a virgin. Don't delude yourselves.

edit: I had gotten handies and blow-jay-jay's before I lost the v-card. Still considered myself a Virg' till I submerged, ya dig?

didn't know until this post that it was possible to have actual penetrative sex and still be a virgin

# ¿ Feb 20, 2014 23:49

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 04:39

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

ArbitraryC posted:

No one who is even remotely socially aware ever refers to women as females.

He didn't you loving clod he said female colleages

# ¿ Feb 23, 2014 05:53

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

ArbitraryC posted:

I'm sorry that's one of those things you can't explain well but the intonation is hugely different between "female colleagues" and "women I work with". You will simply naturally gravitate towards one if you get it and the other if you don't.

not really, man. you can say female colleagues or female friends or female whatevers and nobody will think it's weird unless you're actually weird.

p.s. I don't think you know what the word intonation means.

p.p.s. I'm not sure you're qualified to give advice on what socially aware people should say or do. peace

# ¿ Feb 23, 2014 06:49

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

4th Asclepiadean posted:

Holy loving poo poo get therapy this is not normal. You are very clearly depressed.

Replace E/N with this post please

# ¿ Feb 23, 2014 22:33

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

MonkeyforaHead posted:

And yeah I gather this isn't the average perception. But if I stick my tongue in a sandwich press, well, I'm less likely to stick my tongue in a sandwich press a second time afterwards regardless of how much delicious melted cheese is caked onto it.

I burned my tongue on a hot sandwich when I was a kid, so now I just don't eat anymore.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2014 20:09

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

The Unholy Ghost posted:

Sadly, being friends with and hanging out with women on a daily basis still does not help with getting into a relationship, despite the broken record advice I�ve read here and elsewhere.

it helps when compared with people who never interact with women. you still have to have an active role in your own life. you already know girls so the hard part is done.

quote:

The fact is, I can�t pick up social cues at all, and so I�m absolutely without hope in regard to ever having a girlfriend. Sometimes I get the vague feeling that a girl likes me, but I have no idea on how to act on it, and I don�t want to ask her to go eat somewhere in the chance that I�m totally getting the wrong impression (which is a very high chance).

so what. ask them if they want to go on a date and if they say no then you move on. it's not rocket science. realistically ask yourself what will happen if you ask someone out and they say no. it's not scary, it doesn't hurt, things don't get weird. if you never try it'll never happen and if you do try there's a pretty good chance it'll happen at college. so don't waste your time with these negative-rear end thoughts, drat

# ¿ Feb 25, 2014 20:46

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

He must be English, they're the only people that can talk that retarded and still take themselves seriously

# ¿ Feb 26, 2014 20:05

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

It's a terrible idea with literally no upsides because you have no idea if you're sexually compatible with that person. It's like waiting until marriage to have a conversation with somebody. You don't just get along with anybody. Also it's not the turn of millennium now, you're stuck with this sucker for like 50-60 years and that's a long assed time to be sexually unsatisfied. Literally no good reason to wait until marriage. I dare you to give me one.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2014 02:47

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

I may be judgey, but if you're waiting until marriage you're definitely a weirdo. Real talk tho, I'm not saying this stuff to be mean, I'm trying to help people who lack the experience to know they're making a mistake.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2014 14:24

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

Sexgun Rasputin posted:

it's ok whatever people want to do if they want to gently caress now or whenever

but if you are a sexual person with a healthy sex drive whose mental health is improved by being sexually satisfied it is important to know that you are sexually compatible with a person before you engage in an ostensibly permanent sexual situation with them.

so what you're doing by waiting until marriage to bone is you're saying that sexual compatibility is irrelevant to a sexual relationship, which is frankly dumb as hell.

couldn't have said it better myself

# ¿ Feb 28, 2014 23:04

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

Shannonmcn posted:

Someone mentioned people who wait until marriage for sex have proven that their relationship can function without sex. Since that's a situation that crops up in other relationships too they'd be more able to cope with it and not have a brief interlude without sex be a huge relationship-ruining thing.

this is a b.s. argument because they're two separate issues. it's a good thing to have a solid foundation for a relationship so that it can survive without sex. it is also good to have a good sexual relationship when you actually do have sex. there's no equivalency.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2014 01:12

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

sex is like street fighter. you're going to have an easier time if you're a high tier character. but you can get away with being mid or even low-tier if you work hard enough.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 02:50

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

Synonamess Botch posted:

sex is like street fighter. you're going to have an easier time if you're a high tier character. but you can get away with being mid or even low-tier if you work hard enough.

also black people are better at it

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 02:52

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

Agent Kool-Aid posted:

it's good to know that in the year of luigi 2014 women aren't chastised for having sex and in fact get to pick and choose whoever they want based on their internal sex number, while men are punished by the invisible masturbating hand of the sex market and can't get laid due to a conspiracy designed by the women who control society

Agreed

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 03:21

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

I am way uglier than both these virgins and now I'm scared

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 20:13

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

Jabarto posted:

I'm ugly, bordering on physically deformed. This thread isn't making me feel too good about my chances.

I'm more worried these Virgins are going to realize they can get laid and there will be less girls for my neck beard rear end.

E: because of sex scarcity of course. It's a simple economics issue

# ¿ Mar 3, 2014 22:04

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

literally the best and funniest troll I have seen in 8 years on these forums.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2014 02:45

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

EN Bullshit posted:

Sorry, I thought it was obvious, but I should have made this explicit: Assume you are physically unattractive. And for most people, or at least dudes, once you've started losing your hair, you're extremely unlikely to become conventionally attractive, even if you Lift. All. The. Weights.

lmao and now your pathetic self-loathsome projections will live on eternally

# ¿ Mar 4, 2014 03:32

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

hey bro, I know balding dudes who still get laid because balding is a Thing That Happens Sometimes and they don't let it completely define their self-worth, hth

# ¿ Mar 4, 2014 03:34

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

EN Bullshit posted:

"Getting laid" is relative. You're assuming that what counts as sex to those people would count as sex to everyone.

"have meaningful sexual and emotional relationships with women" you beautiful person, you

# ¿ Mar 4, 2014 03:36

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

Dr. Witherbone posted:

whaaaaaaaaaaat

Making any kind of effort in this thread has become dumb, but listen: shaved heads look perfectly fine, some women are even way into them. In the very least they aren't off-putting. I don't know if you're speaking from personal experience, but if you're balding shave your head.

It looks a hell of a lot better than a lovely bald spot. In fact, it looks good. Also, I'd like to preemptively tell you to shut the gently caress up about having a lumpy head. Is this your head?

No? Then it'll look fine.

shaving your head if you're balding is a good idea but I don't think you need to take it this far.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2014 03:40

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 04:39

Synonamess Botch: Jun 5, 2006; dicks are for my cat

guppiehaus posted:

You guys arguing that there's a "sexually libertarian marketplace" in society because of the societal revolution in the 60's can go in circles all you want, but you're forgetting some pretty crucial poo poo.

1. None of your research actually backs up what you're even claiming. You can't apply findings from an economical study of prostitution to the way society works romantically (protip: they're NOT the same thing) and then go even further and apply your reasoning in broader strokes to relationships and sex in modern America. Social & behavioral psychologists don't even understand how attraction really works between two different people let alone an entire loving country that in itself has dozens if not hundreds of different cultural nuances. It doesn't make any loving sense logically and scientifically it's absurd. You would get laughed out so hard by any real scientist that it'd make your ears explode. Just throwing in there that ZergFluid provided a SINGULAR study that doesn't even relate to like 95% of the points he made.

Rass P, I'm pretty sure you DID say women are ruined after they get pregnant. I quote, "the 'ruined once she has a baby' thing has a biological basis," said by Rass P. That's a pretty audacious claim to back track from and then say "oh I meant they're less desireable." Well no poo poo, guys are less "desireable" when they're 50 something and carrying around a saggy gut and flabby arms too, buddy. You can't make generalized claims about issues and then badger other people for not getting the "details" of your argument right. You're also doing the same thing that ZergFluid is doing by attributing scientific studies about specific things (decrease in fertility, reduced androgen exposure to fetuses prenatally, etc.) that CANNOT be applied directly to things like making people "less desireable," because THERE IS NO CONSENSUS ON WHAT IS DESIREABLE. These papers that you linked NEVER talk about how these changes reduce sexual "value" or attractiveness to other people. They talk about the BIOLOGICAL CHANGES within a woman relating to fertility, physiology, and successive births after an initial pregnancy. THAT'S IT. If you want to spout some science, learn some science first.

2. Even disregarding you two's idiotic arguments backed by your own interpretations of irrelevant science articles and twisted social thinking; what are you going to do about it? While you guys armchair warrior it up, smugly tapping on your keyboards as you tell off goons that they're "misinterpreting" your arguments or "putting words in your mouth" there are real live people out in the world, outside your own house that are communicating, socializing, and building relationships. Society doesn't give a rat's rear end if you think the way people choose to date and love each other is unfair. That's everyone else's choice, not yours. While you're complaining and feebly feeding your fragile egos people who understand that the world doesn't work for them are trying to become better people. They try to align their views and WORK towards something so that they're not stuck in the same position in life forever. All your "spluttering" about how this is right, this is how society REALLY is means jack poo poo in the end. You might think so, but reality says otherwise so you can either suck it up and try to go with the flow, or you can live your struggle for the rest of your life in misery. Your call.

Either way I sincerely hope both of you and anyone who agrees with your "points" wakes up. Life is too short to be a hateful, stubborn contrarian.

Thanks.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2014 02:28

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > [TELL] me about being an adult virgin