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ansel autisms
Aug 9, 2003

dodge this burn




Today while urinating, three sperm came out of my penis. I'm so very scared. Please, someone answer me: is this common or just happening to me? One of them was broken in two, and the other two were complete. Their shape was similar to the picture above but their heads were white too. The size was between 1/2 to 3/4 inches. Please reply.

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Stoic Commie
Aug 29, 2005

G's up
Hoes down


sometimes millions of them will shoot out and they will all be dead, imagine that microscopic limp dongcloud

Dutchfool
Feb 9, 2014

Your local cheese loving, wooden shoes wearing drug addict.


You just became a mass murderer. How do you feel about yourself now?

Musket
Mar 19, 2008


everyone of them is sacred.

Piedmon Sama
Apr 15, 2008

"That's right, it was me who killed your father! And now I'm going to kill you!"


I love going down to my favorite neapolitan place and eating a big bowl of spuma, lol

Dr. Tim Whatley
Jun 25, 2012

DON'T PAY MORE

BAGELSPORT


op sounds like a virgin, imHo

Slipknot Hoagie
Jan 5, 2004



Yo imagine if that relaly came out of your dick, ahahaha. Like I know little ones come out but i Mean if they were big like in the picture. You would see the bulge of the head as it wriggled out of your penis UUGHGH. Kinda like a snake swallowing a mouse except backwards.

Captain Diarrhoea
Apr 16, 2011


Slipknot Hoagie posted:

Yo imagine if that relaly came out of your dick, ahahaha. Like I know little ones come out but i Mean if they were big like in the picture. You would see the bulge of the head as it wriggled out of your penis UUGHGH. Kinda like a snake swallowing a mouse except backwards.

like a snake pooping you mean

Jett
Oct 17, 2005

byob.user.js


Slipknot Hoagie posted:

Yo imagine if that relaly came out of your dick, ahahaha. Like I know little ones come out but i Mean if they were big like in the picture. You would see the bulge of the head as it wriggled out of your penis UUGHGH. Kinda like a snake swallowing a mouse except backwards.

you could probably bait a hook with your sperm if it were that big, like you could be fishing with your buddies and they're like drat, we ran out of worms and everyone would look crestfallen and then you'd be like "oh wait guys i've got our bait right here" and you drop your drawers and grab your dick and wryly add "excuse me while i fill our bait bucket with my 'master bait'"

just make sure none of those little fuckers slip off the hook, especially if there's a woman swimming nearby

Wayside Bazaar
Jun 30, 2008



Semen sounds creepy and dirty. Sperm sounds noble and proud!

The Whole Internet
May 26, 2010



Slipknot Hoagie posted:

Yo imagine if that relaly came out of your dick, ahahaha. Like I know little ones come out but i Mean if they were big like in the picture. You would see the bulge of the head as it wriggled out of your penis UUGHGH. Kinda like a snake swallowing a mouse except backwards.

that's kinda hot

circ dick soleil
Sep 26, 2012



I'll have both.

DrPlump
Oct 5, 2004


They are not supposed to be that big I don't think. Please post photographs of the creatures in question for science.


Mods: Please add 56k warning to title once OP provides photos.

onedayholiday
Dec 6, 2013


my gf doesn't like it when I call them "my lil' wrigglers"

Ignoarints
Nov 26, 2010


ugh not the 56k loving prejudice again

33.6k is just fine faggots check your privele

EggMasta
Jun 21, 2007

Halfway through I felt an incredibly sharp pain and a rush of something coming out of me. I heard a trickle of something below me...


Semen? drat near killed 'em!

Smarmy Coworker
May 10, 2008

hellfire blast~



jizz
spunk
spooge

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations

dick yogurt

Un chien andalou
Oct 22, 2008

TY for no bm

nig-nogs

CiderTron
Jul 31, 2013



3 lots of spak? How did u count them

YourHealthyColon
Nov 21, 2013


I like to imagine what if people reproduced by spore. Instead of us having sex we would just masturbate and our sperm would go live their own lives and fall in love etc. Really makes u think

Smarmy Coworker
May 10, 2008

hellfire blast~



much like a fish i wish my woman could drop her eggs so i can jerk off all over them and they grow on their own

Wayside Bazaar
Jun 30, 2008



I'm comfortable with the term 'spuzz'.

HERMAPHRODITE JESUS
Apr 21, 2010


dukeku posted:



Today while urinating, three sperm came out of my penis. I'm so very scared. Please, someone answer me: is this common or just happening to me? One of them was broken in two, and the other two were complete. Their shape was similar to the picture above but their heads were white too. The size was between 1/2 to 3/4 inches. Please reply.

how could you tell. did u use an electron microscope (yes they're that small)?

Splatmaster
Aug 1, 2007


se-PERSON

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 9, 2007

Remind me to work out until I also am buff and have to keep a pillow in front of my okay I'll be honest this is like the 50th custom title I've done tonight and I'm just phoning it in now.

Pretty sure that wasn't sperm, you have worms OP.

MadMattH
Sep 8, 2011


It is too late you are already pregnant.

Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

Gotta' nuke something.


Jett posted:

just make sure none of those little fuckers slip off the hook, especially if there's a woman swimming nearby

The dreaded Canpregu fish, native of south american rivers. It trolls the waters, looking for the tangy scent of meatflaps. Finding a target, it swims toward the scent, lodging itself firmly inside the female host. Even if a victim proceeds directly to the doctor, by the time they arrive, they are likely to find a small baby wedged inside their guts. If caught in time, a powerful drug can be administered, which will help expel the unwanted parasite. Beyond that, only the finest medical-grade coat-hangers can dislodge the pesky creature. If diagnosis is delayed though, some may have to wait up to 9 months before the object will dislodge itself, although even in those cases, the creature will simply form a sort of external parasitism that lasts 17 to 25 years.

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Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006

Bitches love my tool time

Don't worry, did they swim around in the toilet a bit? You gotta flush em quick! IF they stay around long enough they grow legs and turn into FROGS!

The more ya know.

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