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Doctor Dogballs
Apr 1, 2007

0.00 posts per day

Are you ready to epic win @ the second meal? After all first is the worst, second is the best. here are 42 lunch hacks that will literally sexually surprise sex the way you used to eat lunch, forever.
brought to yo' rear end by listfeed.com

1. if you want your sandwich cut in triangles, try tying the sandwich tightly with a piece of rope or wire

2. Tired of eating chips, try pretzels instead

3. You could store an ice cube in a paper ketchup cup for up to a few minutes, if you want to add it to your drink on your own

4. Try ordering your drink "french" style. It's not on the menu but all the restaurant locations know what it means

5. Vote democrat, there's literally no alternative

6. Don't eat wheatgrass, you arent a cow

7. tired of your straw bobbing around in your can? grow up and stop drinking from a straw, idiot

8. they sell adult shoes with velcro if you're too stupid to tie shoes

9. Granola bars too hard? Here's a good hack to take care of that problem for you: warm it up in your pocket awhile before lunch

10. Now you can hack your baby: Smoke a lot of cigarettes while pregnant, because a smaller baby means an easier birth

11. Paperclip................ or pooperclip?

12. Keep flies away from your lunch by eating gravel and sand, which normally do not attract flies

13. Eating kale? Epic fale! Try spinach instead, knucklehead.

14. Want to enjoy lunch more? Keep your breakroom smelling fresh by taking the garbage out regularly.

15. Max out your productivity to the max, by eating lunch at your desk whilest working!

16. Dont want cheetos dust on your fingers? Invest in a nice set of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finger_cot

17. Forgot the spoon for your applesauce, Drink it with a straw instead, idiot

Bonus lunch hack #18. You can easily rip an apple in half with your bare hands by cutting it with a knife most of the way through, ahead of time!

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concerned mom
Apr 22, 2003


KFC gives you paper plates so mom doesn't have to do the dishes

Drone_Fragger
May 9, 2007



Best lifehack I ever head was that you can substitute blood for tomato sauce or puree in most recipes, and wasp eggs make an excellent alternative to lemon zest if you're ever baking.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

Flippin' fancy!


As read in the voice of Dr. Steve Brule.

Doctor Dogballs
Apr 1, 2007

0.00 posts per day

^ For your hacks!

Drone_Fragger posted:

Best lifehack I ever head was that you can substitute blood for tomato sauce or puree in most recipes, and wasp eggs make an excellent alternative to lemon zest if you're ever baking.

wasp eggs fuckin' rule

raging bullwinkle
Jun 15, 2011


One that I would add to the list is to bring half a sandwich hidden in your pocket, for a lunch snack

But Not Tonight
May 22, 2006

I could show you around the sights.



Doctor Dogballs posted:

here are 42 lunch hacks

#1-#18

What the gently caress where are my other 24 lunch hacks, you hack.

TVarmy
Sep 11, 2011

like food and water, my posting has no intrinsic value



Not enough soap in your diet? Substitute Dr. Bronner's Hemp Magic Soap for cilantro in Mexican, Indian and fusion dishes.

Trying to get a bento box on a budget? Consider trying a pinku model.

Boombox Jackson
Nov 3, 2008


spinach salads with parmesan, pecans, apple slices, and blue cheese dressing are actually really good and can be made really quickly

this is a realpost lunchhack from me, to you, GBS

PlantRobot
Feb 13, 2010


bagel spindle

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

You have failed me for the last time, Colonel Pickering.


Often times I get confused at work, so when lunchtime comes I can easily panic and eat objects on my desk or sometimes flee, causing a stampede.

Any tips?

Neurolimal
Nov 3, 2012

cheesy anime pizza undresses you with pepperoni eyes

Big Beef City posted:

Often times I get confused at work, so when lunchtime comes I can easily panic and eat objects on my desk or sometimes flee, causing a stampede.

Any tips?

find food-based variants of all your desk supplies

Neurolimal
Nov 3, 2012

cheesy anime pizza undresses you with pepperoni eyes

start by replacing your computer with an apple computer

David Copperfield
Mar 14, 2004


Neurolimal posted:

start by replacing your computer with an apple computer

replace your whole car with an apple to eat while you drive

Lamebot
Sep 8, 2005



im too poor/cheap for lunch. would you stop flaunting your privilege?

you irl
Jan 22, 2014


Eating at your desk but hate the crumbs? Eat at your coworkers desk while he's at lunch.

you irl
Jan 22, 2014


Going out for lunch every day can "eat" away at your budget. Suck dick behind the Jiffy Lube at night to earn extra income.

Cucking Mama
Sep 27, 2013


if you have like artisanal loaf that's kinda hard and you don't want to get another one just microwave it and it'll soften right up

you irl
Jan 22, 2014


You've been cutting your sandwiches wrong your whole life. Before you make the sandwich, stack both pieces of bread together. Take a smooth knife, not a serrated knife. Pick up the bread with one hand and hold it out in front of you. With the other hand, draw the knife towards you along your wrist, spilling your blood and letting the world fade away.

you irl
Jan 22, 2014


If you're like me, you love oranges but you hate peeling them. Instead, try eating a twinkie.

carrion kit
Mar 19, 2005

'lapse!


Work night shifts and steal lunches from what day shift leaves in the fridge.

Heroin addict? The new silk road will deliver heroin to your workplace discretely if you have the balls. Also you can drink the coffee creamer and milk in the fridge to save money for heroin.

You would be surprised what people throw out in the trash, pretend you accidentally threw something away and pig out!

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angerbot
Mar 23, 2004


plob


Wow what a bad thread

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