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Hingehead
Nov 24, 2013


No, really. You are nasty. Western Asia and Italy gets it right by washing their asses with water and soap. Meanwhile in the "civilized" world, most of you dry-wipe it, spreading it like peanut butter. SAVAGES!

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Paper Diamonds
Sep 2, 2011


Hingehead posted:

spreading it like peanut butter.
Eat more fiber.

Nog
May 15, 2006



lol if you don't use a bidet

Hingehead
Nov 24, 2013


Paper Diamonds posted:

Eat more fiber.

You still have to wash off some of the residues off your butthole.

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

Revengeful corpse out to kill Smell the stench, your guts will spill
Vomit for a mind, maggots for a cock With his axe the corpse will chop


i revel in my savagery

Bullstuff
Apr 1, 2007
My finger smells funny. :(

At least you're not flushing wet wipes. Carry on, repeat rear end scrubber. Also, until there are bidets in stalls and poo poo here I will be content with TP and regular showering.

Suzuki Method
Mar 11, 2012



heres a compromise between wet wipes and a bidet

why don't we just put a spray bottle next to the potty so that we can get some toilet paper, fold it (FOLD IT YOU SAVAGES), spray it a bit, and then wipe. it's like a wet wipe only cheaper and won't clog the sewers

Hingehead
Nov 24, 2013


Bullstuff posted:

At least you're not flushing wet wipes. Carry on, repeat rear end scrubber. Also, until there are bidets in stalls and poo poo here I will be content with TP and regular showering.


I don't use wet wipes. I do soak up the toilet papers with water and soap to get the job done. It is just as good as a bidget. It can be frustrating to keep my rear end clean when I am out in public.

Awesome!
Oct 17, 2008

'nuff said.



a toilet in italy

you'd have to soap up after entering that room

Syntax Erin
Jan 1, 2012



If I'm making GBS threads in public and I'm not sure if my rear end in a top hat's clean, I'll spit on the paper and wipe with it to be sure. Sometimes I'll use my pee.

Because with dry wiping, you can't know

Hingehead
Nov 24, 2013


Awesome! posted:

a toilet in italy

you'd have to soap up after entering that room


I saw that only once at a roadside bar during the three times I've been to Italy. Everywhere else, Italian society managed to make progress in personal hygiene.

Paper Diamonds
Sep 2, 2011


Hingehead posted:

You still have to wash off some of the residues off your butthole.
It's a butthole. As far as I know it always has the poop residues on it.

JakeP
Apr 27, 2003

i'm so sorry but i have to go now. my time here is finally ogre.


Hingehead posted:

No, really. You are nasty. Eastern Asia and Italy gets it right by washing their asses with water and soap. Meanwhile in the "civilized" world, most of you dry-wipe it, spreading it like peanut butter. SAVAGES!

i spit on the TP first OP

rizuhbull
Mar 30, 2011



'poo poo & Shower' is even better than a bidet. Cheaper, saves space, promotes hygiene.

Sir John Feelgood
Nov 18, 2009



i am nature

Hingehead
Nov 24, 2013


Paper Diamonds posted:

It's a butthole. As far as I know it always has the poop residues on it.

If I live on a paleo lifestyle and wipe my rear end with soft leaves and/or large rocks like a Neanderthal, then no. Also if you poo poo in a squat position as nature intended, there'd be no poo poo residues either. We hosed up everything nature intended for us!

Murcor
Dec 1, 2007

It's a hell of a thing

I know with dry wiping, pretty soon it's like making GBS threads through wire mesh, so you may be onto something.

JerryLee
Feb 4, 2005

THE RESERVED LIST! THE RESERVED LIST! I CANNOT SHUT UP ABOUT THE RESERVED LIST!


it's cool OP I let your mom take a swig of water from time to time

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 10, 2004


The only disgusting human beings are the ones that call others names, OP

Tortuga
Aug 27, 2011


I use wet wipes and then flush them, kiss my clean rear end sewer people!

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003

Shitpost Extraordinaire Conquistador & Preeminent Good Frogger Scumlord Tacobueno Present:

i just shower after i poop and soap up my hand and rub my rear end in a top hat with it


i feel pretty clean most of the time

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009


it would be cool to have a bidet installed in my toilet. how much do those cost anyways.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT. NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY. NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?


Fetus Tree posted:

i just shower after i poop and soap up my hand and rub my rear end in a top hat with it


i feel pretty clean most of the time

Hingehead
Nov 24, 2013


Tsinava posted:

it would be cool to have a bidet installed in my toilet. how much do those cost anyways.



You don't even need a seperate bidet like in Italy. Israel and Tunisia have spray hose next to the toilet. It is just as good. The best one are the bidets that are attached to the back seat of the toilet, directed at your rear end in a top hat. No need to fiddle around with the hose or using your hands to wipe your rear end with the water.

Justin Tyme
Feb 22, 2011

on a rock or something

yes i only wipe with two squares of TP, if there is poop left over i am just like "oh no, oh well better luck next time cause i can't possibly wipe multiple times!"

you are a manchild if you need a magical poo fountain to clean your rear end in a top hat for you

texasmed
May 27, 2004



flushable wet wipes. p.s. lick my american butthole op

DataRat
Dec 25, 2009


Hingehead posted:

No, really. You are nasty. Eastern Asia and Italy gets it right by washing their asses with water and soap. Meanwhile in the "civilized" world, most of you dry-wipe it, spreading it like peanut butter. SAVAGES!

talk about my butthole more tia

Troll Bridgington
Dec 22, 2011

Keeping up foreign relations.

Maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle

Troll Bridgington
Dec 22, 2011

Keeping up foreign relations.

Of my rear end in a top hat

Protocol7
Jul 26, 2012

seriously dude chill out


Troll Bridgington posted:

Maybe the truth is somewhere in the middle

nope, just an anus

e: gently caress

SneakyBeef
Jan 1, 2012


That's why I just use my thumb and two fingers to pinch the lump off before wiping. There's just less of it there to spread around that way, and I refuse to walk around with a filthy crap smear in my cheeks.

Police Automaton
Mar 17, 2009


whats "wiping"

Bullstuff
Apr 1, 2007
My finger smells funny. :(

Wipes are not flushable, and your plumber is gonna say the same thing as he rapes your bank account for being a moron.

BadLlama
Jan 13, 2006


i actually like to sit in my poo poo all day so i don't wipe at all its like a personal metaphor for society

Bullstuff
Apr 1, 2007
My finger smells funny. :(

Syntax Erin posted:

Sometimes I'll use my pee.

Because with dry wiping, you can't know

Also I feel like I need to point out that this post happened.

TOOT BOOT
May 25, 2010



just wipe with fine grit sandpaper

Tsinava
Nov 15, 2009


Hingehead posted:

You don't even need a seperate bidet like in Italy. Israel and Tunisia have spray hose next to the toilet. It is just as good. The best one are the bidets that are attached to the back seat of the toilet, directed at your rear end in a top hat. No need to fiddle around with the hose or using your hands to wipe your rear end with the water.

yeah, that's what I'm talking about the one attached to the seat where you just push the button and it sprays your rear end clean. That owns, I want that.

Space Jam
Jul 22, 2008

You've done a man's job, sir.

use coarse tp. it should take some skin off with it. now that's clean.

TOOT BOOT posted:

just wipe with fine grit sandpaper

Lonely Virgil
Oct 9, 2012



If there ain't blood on the tissue, you haven't wiped enough.

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Bullstuff
Apr 1, 2007
My finger smells funny. :(

Tsinava posted:

yeah, that's what I'm talking about the one attached to the seat where you just push the button and it sprays your rear end clean. That owns, I want that.

If I'm not mistaken those are pretty pricey. However I say that having been out of plumbing for about three years now. May be cheaper than I remember now.

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