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NFC East NFL Coaches have had a year to figure out Chip Kelly's "revolutionary scheme", and they finish in the bottom half of the league in total offense. (Except for the Cowboys, who get swept by them) Eli Manning misses significant time for the first time in his career, and NY experiences a legitimate QB controversy, because New Yorkers hate everything sports that isn't Mickey Mantle or Bill Parcells, and don't care how many rings Eli has. Washington announces an official name change by the end of the year. Dan Snyder is booed off the stage when he reveals his "D.C. Minstrel's" logo. Tony Romo's albatross of a contract swoops down from the rafters of the Death Star and carries off Dez Bryant and Tyron Smith to 'Free-Agency Land' in the middle of their first playoff game in 6 years, costing the Cowboys a heartbreaking loss, running their record to 8 - 9 on the year. Go Cowboys.
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Apr 10, 2014 22:53
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JesustheDarkLord posted:Ki-jana Carter and Alkali Smith were the answers, man. We wasted Carl Pickens. Things I hate about Carl Pickens. Neil O' Donnell, fake spike, 1998. Prediction: Broncos win the Super Bowl, Manning immediately retires as he's handed the MVP trophy. SquirrelyPSU fucked around with this message at 02:37 on Apr 11, 2014 |
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Apr 11, 2014 02:35
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blarzgh posted:NFC East on the other hand, who gives a poo poo about the NFC East
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Apr 11, 2014 02:46
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CBS, NBC, and ESPN. That's about it.
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Apr 11, 2014 03:06
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Barudak posted:In a surprise move Putin will use Russia's considerable oil wealth to produce a team of all-russian football players. Using forbidden soviet science these players will have inhuman strength and agility and will easily crush all american teams. Then the 32 owners will initiate Operation: ALL PRO and combine forces to summon the greatest football team ever assembled. Will it be enough to stop the resurgent soviet menace? Find out this fall. My God, we're going to have to make a team of players with 99 overalls on Madden.
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Apr 11, 2014 03:22
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blarzgh posted:NFC East I guess you're probably joking, but in case you aren't, I'll go with the opposite of all that. Eli wins comeback player of the year. NotWearingPants fucked around with this message at 03:30 on Apr 11, 2014 |
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Apr 11, 2014 03:27
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Silly Burrito posted:My God, we're going to have to make a team of players with 99 overalls on Madden. Someone call the breaking Madden guy.
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Apr 11, 2014 04:39
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The Eagles will sign Richie Incognito.
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Apr 11, 2014 11:50
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NotWearingPants posted:The Eagles will sign Richie Incognito. Forgot which thread I clicked on for a second. Man that would not help our rep.
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Apr 11, 2014 14:43
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Richie Incognito was born to be a Raider.
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Apr 11, 2014 15:23
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Maybe in the 80s
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Apr 11, 2014 15:30
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Longer term prediction but the draft will be held at the Jerry dome within 5 years.
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Apr 11, 2014 17:50
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Cam throws for more yards and TD's than he did last year and the Panthers have a 1000 yard receiver. Hopefully it is McNutt because yelling "McNutt scores!!!" Will never get old.
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Apr 11, 2014 21:22
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Kalli posted:Longer term prediction but the draft will be held at the Jerry dome within 5 years. The Jets will still draft horribly.
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Apr 12, 2014 03:50
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The Miami Dolphins will win the goddamn AFC East. And then get blown out 50 something to 10 in their first playoff game since TYWOB*. *The Year Without Brady
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Apr 12, 2014 10:26
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The Packers find out that Brett Favre put a curse on the Packers when he left for New York, causing ridiculous amounts of injuries. Aaron Rodgers is sent on a cross-country trip to end the curse, which he eventually does, but not before Green Bay goes 9 - 7, which is still enough to win the NFC North and keep the Bears out of the playoffs again.
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Apr 12, 2014 18:32
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TubeStank posted:The Packers find out that Brett Favre put a curse on the Packers when he left for New York, causing ridiculous amounts of injuries. Aaron Rodgers is sent on a cross-country trip to end the curse, which he eventually does, but not before Green Bay goes 9 - 7, which is still enough to win the NFC North and keep the Bears out of the playoffs again. Wasn't that last year?
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Apr 12, 2014 19:47
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computer parts posted:Wasn't that last year? Pfff, the Packers only won 8 games last year 
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Apr 12, 2014 19:53
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computer parts posted:Wasn't that last year? Only won 8 games AND we still had a shitload of injuries.
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Apr 13, 2014 00:05
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Yeah, that was one prediction from however long ago that definitely came true: The Packers suck without Rodgers.
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Apr 13, 2014 05:06
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Prediction: Giovanni Bernard will continue to be really cool and do a bunch of crazy bullshit plays. I am so pumped to see more Bernard.
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Apr 13, 2014 05:24
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Jerry Jones gets a few facial sores and it suddenly clicks with everybody where the demon that possessed and consumed Al Davis has taken up residence.
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Apr 13, 2014 14:41
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If a QB is taken at #1, he won't be a starting QB in the league after 2 seasons.
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Apr 15, 2014 18:30
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Silly Burrito posted:The Jets will still draft horribly. But the chorus of boos will get lost in that stadium. Prediction: The Patriots make a move to take one of this year's top quarterback prospects and then try to trade Tom Brady.
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Apr 21, 2014 15:59
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The Cowboys will not finish 8-8.
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Apr 25, 2014 20:33
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Scruffy the janitor posted:The Cowboys will not finish 8-8. Instead, one of their games will be a tie.
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Apr 25, 2014 21:01
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computer parts posted:Instead, one of their games will be a tie. 7-7-2.
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Apr 25, 2014 21:11
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Scruffy the janitor posted:7-7-2. Knowing the NFC East they're final Record will be 7-7-2 first round exit in playoffs.
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May 2, 2014 16:52
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Barudak posted:Knowing the NFC East they're final Record will be 7-7-2 first round exit in playoffs. Eli's got all the garbage QB'ing out of him after last year, this year will be another Super Bowl run. He'll beat Tom Brady again and Brady will retire in shame alongside Belichick for being unable to figure out how to beat Eli Manning, Patriot Slayer.
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May 3, 2014 22:50
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Beautiful Ninja posted:Eli's got all the garbage QB'ing out of him after last year, this year will be another Super Bowl run. He'll beat Tom Brady again and Brady will retire in shame alongside Belichick for being unable to figure out how to beat Eli Manning, Patriot Slayer. It takes him three seasons to get all the garbage QB'ing out, then you get a Super Bowl against Tom Brady. So he's due this year. sirtommygunn fucked around with this message at 00:44 on May 4, 2014 |
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May 3, 2014 23:27
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sirtommygunn posted:It takes him three seasons to get all the garbage QB'ing out, then you get a Super Bowl against Tom Brady. So he's due this year. Nah, 2015. It happens during the seasons where the Giants play the AFC:E, so they can have a wacky close game in the regular season, then the rematch in the Super Bowl. I just want a Giants-Ravens Super Bowl. Flacco vs. Eli in the Doofy Bowl.
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May 4, 2014 04:56
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So because i'm bored and love me some foolsball I decided to go through and look at the entire schedule and just pick a winner for each game. These were solely gut reaction picks to the matchup, very rarely looked at anything beyond the match up and who the teams had played the week prior (though didn't pause to consider short weeks [aside from TNF] or bye weeks). I did this in about 15 minutes, including typing every matchup as I went, so it's got some wonderful results: RECORDS AFC NORTH CIN - 7 - 9 CLE - 10 - 6  PIT - 7 - 9 BAL - 8-8 AFC WEST DEN - 10-6 KC - 10-6 OAK - 4-12 SD - 10-6 AFC SOUTH HOU - 6-10 IND - 7-9 JAX - 2-14 TEN - 8-8 AFC EAST BUF - 3-13 MIA - 9-7 NE - 10-6 NYJ - 5-11 NFC NORTH CHI - 12-4 DET - 5-11 GB - 8-8 MIN - 4-12 NFC WEST ARI - 8-8 SEA - 8-8 SF - 10-6 STL - 10-6 NFC SOUTH ATL - 7-9 CAR - 12-4 NO - 13-3 TB - 5-11 NFC EAST DAL - 7-9 NYG - 6-10 PHI - 12-4 WAS - 10-6 PLAYOFFS AFC 1. DEN 2. CLE 3. NE 4. TEN 5. KC 6. SD DIV NE @ CLE - NE KC @ DEN - DEN cc NE @ DEN - DEN NFC 1. NO 2. CHI 3. PHI 4. SF 5. CAR 6. WAS DIV SF @ NO - SF PHI @ CHI - CHI CC SF @ CHI - CHI SB DEN v CHI - CHI A few thoughts: 1. I could absolutely see the Bengals having a down year, but that might just be homer pessimism. I have no idea who's supposed to actually be scoring the ball in CLE, but I think the combination of 4th place schedule, and some glaring weaknesses in the rest of the division, could put them near .500. But 10-6 to win the division? I'd be very surprised. 2. The AFC West sending 3 teams to the playoffs again doesn't sound far-fetched to me, thought doubtful all at 10-6, being able to beat up on Oakland helps a lot. 3. There's no loving way the Titans win the AFC south, and they certainly don't do so at 8-8. I have no idea how that happened, other than to say that the division as a whole sucks and I'm not very high on the Colts, even if they are the best of that awful division. 4. I think the NFC North does underperform as a whole this year, and I actually do think the Bears are the best team in the division. Why do I think that? maybe because I'm a god drat fool. 5. The NFC West beating the hell out of each other to th tune of a bunch of bloody stumps limping towards the playoffs sounds about accurate, and while I doubt the Seahawks only manage 8-8, I wouldn't be surprised if the division only sends one team to the playoffs, as a 3 or 4 seed. 6. I don't know who (other than Cam) on the Panthers offense will be worth a drat, but I think their D is still solid enough that they can repeat a very impressive performance. 7. The playoffs are a total crapshoot, but I put a bit more thought in to them than the regular season picks.
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May 23, 2014 06:51
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Detroit will finish 3rd in the division or I will lick my own poo poo. Eat poo poo Detroit.
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May 23, 2014 07:06
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Guru Yaekob posted:Detroit will finish 3rd in the division or I will lick my own poo poo. Quoted. Can't wait to see you lick your own poo poo when they finish 4th.
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May 23, 2014 07:10
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KettleWL posted:KC @ DEN - DEN This would be a goddamned nightmare, so obviously it will probably happen. Guru Yaekob posted:Detroit will finish 3rd in the division or I will lick my own poo poo. Not with the shitlicking again, lick something less disgusting but still disgusting.
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May 23, 2014 07:16
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Lick a subway rail or a Subway sneeze guard or a Safeway register or a safe-deposit box i don't know it's your choice. no one wants to watch you lick poo poo though, its unoriginal and gross
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May 23, 2014 07:26
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AFC East Patriots 13-3 Jets 9-7* Dolphins 5-11 Bills 3-13 AFC North Bengals 11-5 Steelers 8-8 Ravens 7-9 Browns 7-9 AFC South Colts 11-5 Texans 7-9 Titans 5-11 Jaguars 2-14 AFC West Broncos 15-1 Chargers 8-8* Chiefs 5-11 Raiders 4-12 NFC East Eagles 10-6 Cowboys 8-8 Redskins 6-10 Giants 5-11 NFC North Packers 11-5 Bears 11-5* Vikings 9-7 Lions 4-12 NFC South Panthers 13-3 Falcons 9-7 Bucs 6-10 Saints 6-10 NFC West Seahawks 12-4 Cardinals 11-5* 49ers 8-8 Rams 7-9 AFC: 1. Denver 2. New England 3. Indianapolis 4. Cincinnati 5. New York 6. San Diego (6)San Diego over (3)Indianapolis (5)New York over (4)Cincinnati (1)Denver over (6)San Diego (5)New York over (2)New England (1)Denver over (5)New York NFC: 1. Carolina 2. Seattle 3. Green Bay 4. Philadelphia 5. Chicago 6. Arizona (3)Green Bay over (6)Arizona (5)Chicago over (4)Philadelphia (1)Carolina over (5)Chicago (3)Green Bay over (2)Seattle (1)Carolina over (3)Green Bay Carolina over Denver
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May 23, 2014 09:07
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ROSS MY SALAD posted:AFC East I think kc takes a few more than 5. I hope. How do you have us regressing that hard and the Panthers getting better?
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May 23, 2014 15:24
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No Butt Stuff posted:I think kc takes a few more than 5. I hope. Carolina has a fantastic defense and Cam Newton, I think they'll be fine. KC won a lot of bullshit games last year against a powderpuff schedule and beat all of one playoff team, which was the Michael Vick Eagles, and lost three fifths of their offensive line.
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May 23, 2014 15:51
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code:
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May 23, 2014 15:57
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