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buglord
Jul 31, 2010

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Buglord

The Casualty posted:

One hotel that I worked at had a similar script that you absolutely had to follow. They would get secret shoppers, and if you missed any part of the script you'd get points off. It only took two missed points to fail, and a fail got you written up. It was funny because at the beginning of the month, the likelihood of a shop was low; everyone would act naturally and things felt much more relaxed. Then about halfway through the month, people would start to notice we hadn't been shopped yet. They'd begin to apply the script to anyone suspicious. If it was the last week of the month and we hadn't been shopped yet, then everyone turned into this soulless greeter robot and people would shoot us weird looks.

This is pretty much how my old store went. Near the end of the SS month I was laying down the script to anyone who wasn't a regular customer (we were a rather small town so you'd see a lot of familiar people). Failing the SS didn't give you a writeup, but it still meant you'd get a long talking to by a manager who also thought it was ridiculous but had to make it sound like convincing punishment since everyone there knew it was idiotic. We got a bad survey saying "Sales associates sound robotic" or something, which was a relief because someone noticed how stupid it was, but the store still got in trouble instead since satisfaction is one of those incredibly important things.

e: I also failed the SS when it did happen, as the dude told me who he was after. I guess I was too busy trying to get rid of the gigantic line that hour instead of following ~the script~

buglord fucked around with this message at 19:00 on Mar 29, 2014

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etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Wayside Bazaar posted:

Does Starbucks barista porn exist?

I'm just asking for personal research.

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe
I work for a large auto auction, so the public I deal with is exclusively used car dealers.

The only other people who have to work with a worse segment of the public is police and EMS workers.

Naerasa posted:

If you work in the service industry, forcing yourself to be cheerful is the only way to suppress the overwhelming urge to kill yourself and everyone around you.

only 22 more smiles until I can drown myself in alcohol.....

e- I'm lucky in that no one that works in my department knows anything about exotic or classic cars or high end boats and RV's so I get away with murder in regards to customer relations, up to and including uttering the line "gently caress you and your poo poo heap leaky decade old Subaru"

then I saunter off to drive a Ferrari around

Seizure Meat fucked around with this message at 19:06 on Mar 29, 2014

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005
You'd be happy as well if you were pumped so full of stimulants that your testicles/ovaries were at the same level of your eyeballs.



Serious talk: I get surveys all the time. I also have a line of "Too Friendly". Here's what I ask out of service employees. Professional, quick and knowledgeable. I understand if there is a line. I understand if the person in front of me is a total dick. I understand that everyone has a bad day. You want a good review, and I give stellar ones, you just need to be a decent human being who knows your job and is willing to answer my questions, in a professional manner. You'll even get a nice custom comment from me that you can use on your manager during your next performance review.

Wait staff at top end restaurants, if they go above and beyond, I've called the manager over to tell them personally, what a good job you did.

This is my definition of being a decent human being.

Go ahead and mock me. :)

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

naem
May 29, 2011

I worked at a Starbucks in college for a year and everyone drinks 8 cups of espresso so they can stay up and study later

Also its a corporation that indoctrinates you pretty thoroughly

spaceships
Aug 4, 2005

i love too dumptruck

guacamole aficionado

haha good ol jimmy workin off that tax rebate

oh poo poo edit for content

Taffer
Oct 15, 2010



isnt that guy an actor, he looks familiar

communism bitch
Apr 24, 2009
i never been into a starbucksor cafe nero or the otherone. orany coffeeshop at all. im scarrd they might start asking me allcomplicated questions and reveal im a uppity prole who doesnt understand the coffee lifestyle really and all i want is a mocha like the pretty girl at the work cafe makes them

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Taffer posted:

isnt that guy an actor, he looks familiar

it's british comedian and tax evader Jimmy Carr:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mD48aPkXn4g

Also the most amusing thing about the modern coffee shop is how technology sort of mucked up the
original goal of creating a place for social interaction.

Whiskey Sours
Jan 25, 2014

Weather proof.

etalian posted:

Also the most amusing thing about the modern coffee shop is how technology sort of mucked up the
original goal of creating a place for social interaction.

free wifi > social interaction

Taffer
Oct 15, 2010


etalian posted:

it's british comedian and tax evader Jimmy Carr:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mD48aPkXn4g

Also the most amusing thing about the modern coffee shop is how technology sort of mucked up the
original goal of creating a place for social interaction.

whats he doing working at a starbucks

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Taffer posted:

whats he doing working at a starbucks

the old standard give a celebrity a miserable service job for a day bit.

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.
When I worked in retail we'd be over the top friendly to customers we hated as a way of making fun of them without getting in trouble, hth OP.

Nonsense
Jan 26, 2007

imagine only making 12 an hour being a manager

Pornographic Memory
Dec 17, 2008

Naerasa posted:

If you work in the service industry, forcing yourself to be cheerful is the only way to suppress the overwhelming urge to kill yourself and everyone around you.

pretty much

rezatahs
Jun 9, 2001

by Smythe
coming from the pnw coffee culture i feel highly qualified in declaring starbucks coffee as pure crap

scorching is not roasting

naem
May 29, 2011

Nonsense posted:

imagine only making 12 an hour being a manager

In school I was hired as a shift manager by a store manager because he knew my then girlfriend who used to work there.

They had a serious problem with employees hooking up and causing drama, he knew I was spoken for lol. The extra couple bucks an hour came in handy

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Trixie Hardcore posted:

When I worked in retail we'd be over the top friendly to customers we hated as a way of making fun of them without getting in trouble, hth OP.

HAHAHHAHAHHA You're not the only one.

Have a magical day, sir!

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

So how exactly do people even survive on jobs like Starbucks for high cost places like NYC or SF?

naem
May 29, 2011

etalian posted:

So how exactly do people even survive on jobs like Starbucks for high cost places like NYC or SF?

I lived in a $1000 a month apt with a gf, both worked full time, and had student loans.

Everyone else lived with their parents and were wrangling desperately for a store manager position because it payed like $60k +

Taffer
Oct 15, 2010


etalian posted:

So how exactly do people even survive on jobs like Starbucks for high cost places like NYC or SF?

they dont

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice

Koivunen posted:

Serious Reply

I am a nurse in the ICU. Our hospital has this thing called AIDET, which is literally a script we are supposed to follow when interacting with patients. Because so much hospital funding is based on patient satisfaction surveys (another can of worms entirely), we're now supposed to follow this "communication tool" in hopes that it will raise our satisfaction scores. Honestly, it makes a nurse sound like a robot, and the way you connect with people is by skipping the bullshit and getting to know them in whatever way possible.


So, as a nurse, our hospital gave us this example. "Hello Patient, my name is Koivunen and I am your nurse. I am here to help. I am going to insert an IV line. This should take no more than ten minutes. I am a registered nurse and have ten years of experience putting in IVs. If you have any questions, I have plenty of time to answer them. Thank you for choosing This Hospital for your care."

Although I work with realistic people, it is theoretically possible to face punishment if you don't follow AIDET and are caught by a higher-up.

My boyfriend works for Marriott. Corporate swung by their hotel a while ago and was appalled that nobody knew the mission statement, which is in song format (in English or Spanish). Now, if an employee approaches a manager in full on musical mode, belting out the mission statement, they are supposed to get a $25 gift card. Apparently there's an employee meeting coming up where they are all supposed to sing together.

America is a place where the customer is always right. From being extra cheerful to following a script to song and dance, it's all about customer satisfaction. What some people see as weird and off-putting, others see as charming and uplifting.

OP, get used to it. It's only going to get worse.

I'm well aware of survey/customer satisfaction index poo poo in customer service as well as in healthcare but I had no idea that it reached the point that they are now forcing RNs to worry about parroting scripts instead of like doing their actual jobs.

Anytime I am requested to fill out any survey I always give the highest possible scores and even if I have any actual complaints I still give top scores and just write in whatever my bitch was in the comment section. In my experience, from working within the system and from outside of it, that usually prevents people from getting unfairly screwed and satisfies corporate (and is also somewhat subversive by illegitamizing their data and withholding potentially valuable info because they typically end up using it to gently caress people over).

gently caress having to perform a literal song and dance routine in front of a middle manager, I'd rather be picking up trash on the side of the highway than have to live with myself after having to do that poo poo.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Wayside Bazaar posted:

gently caress having to perform a literal song and dance routine in front of a middle manager, I'd rather be picking up trash on the side of the highway than have to live with myself after having to do that poo poo.

Congratulations on having a soul. It's a rare, wondrous commodity these days. Use it wisely.

romanowski
Nov 10, 2012

Trixie Hardcore posted:

When I worked in retail we'd be over the top friendly to customers we hated as a way of making fun of them without getting in trouble, hth OP.

I knew that bitch was making fun of me

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry

I thought hiring hot college girls was already a thing with starbucks? It seemed to fit with the whole idea in the movie Idiocracy about starbucks becoming massage parlor/brothel.

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice

VendaGoat posted:

Congratulations on having a soul. It's a rare, wondrous commodity these days. Use it wisely.

Eh thanks for the reminder, rare and wondrous maybe - but definitely not a favorable commodity when trying to make a living. I've already had to accept undesirable positions and take pay cuts in the past just to get away from some of that poo poo because the corporate bar would get higher every year (and our pay plans would never reflect this of course) and we would be robbed of our bonuses month after month for the mistakes of outside contractors being paid minimum wage who gave zero fucks. Aside from me and my co-workers, nobody cared, including my manager who secretly advocated cheating/withholding surveys to keep his own bonuses/job.

:smithicide:

Mariana Horchata fucked around with this message at 20:24 on Mar 29, 2014

naem
May 29, 2011

Wicker Man posted:

I thought hiring hot college girls was already a thing with starbucks? It seemed to fit with the whole idea in the movie Idiocracy about starbucks becoming massage parlor/brothel.

It's def a thing, I was the only male employee at my starbucks. Everyone else was a cute 20 year old girl- one of each major race

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

naem posted:

It's def a thing, I was the only male employee at my starbucks. Everyone else was a cute 20 year old girl- one of each major race

So basically hiring like one of those phony glossy college ads?

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.

Wayside Bazaar posted:

I'm well aware of survey/customer satisfaction index poo poo in customer service as well as in healthcare but I had no idea that it reached the point that they are now forcing RNs to worry about parroting scripts instead of like doing their actual jobs.

Anytime I am requested to fill out any survey I always give the highest possible scores and even if I have any actual complaints I still give top scores and just write in whatever my bitch was in the comment section. In my experience, from working within the system and from outside of it, that usually prevents people from getting unfairly screwed and satisfies corporate (and is also somewhat subversive by illegitamizing their data and withholding potentially valuable info because they typically end up using it to gently caress people over).

gently caress having to perform a literal song and dance routine in front of a middle manager, I'd rather be picking up trash on the side of the highway than have to live with myself after having to do that poo poo.

I do this too. I worked at a job where customers would get surveyed on our performance & if we got anything less than straight across the board 10/10s it would count against us & ever since I give top marks because the system is stacked against those poor bastards.

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

It's a pretty horrible company overall especially the whole starting a union being a surefire way to get fired:
http://www.businessinsider.com/11-ways-to-get-fired-from-starbucks-2011-8?op=1

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Wayside Bazaar posted:

Eh thanks for the reminder, rare and wondrous maybe - but definitely not a favorable commodity when trying to make a living. I've already had to accept undesirable positions and take pay cuts in the past just to get away from some of that poo poo because the corporate bar would get higher every year (and our pay plans would never reflect this of course) and we would be robbed of our bonuses month after month for the mistakes of outside contractors being paid minimum wage who gave zero fucks. Aside from me and my co-workers, nobody cared, including my manager who secretly advocated cheating/withholding surveys to keep his own bonuses/job.

:smithicide:

Keep caring and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and eventually you will find someone who will respect you for it. It takes a long time. And remember age is a factor, don't let anyone tell you differently.

That Sixty something CEO, probably started as a stock boy. When you're twenty, he won't give you poo poo all for respect, because like he was, you're a punk. It doesn't matter how great you are, you're a punk until proven otherwise.

Once you get into your Thirties people start looking at you differently and the next big question is, "what are your values." Can you be trusted and so on and so forth. You'll get grouped into two types. Yes man or Headstrong.

I guess my entire point is, it becomes a game of how much poo poo are you willing to take, for the pay you make. For some jobs, there isn't enough money. Other jobs, people will work for charity. You have to decide where you fit in or if you fit in.

Older than that I haven't experienced yet. :angel:

Smeego
Sep 9, 2001

japan sucks
I worked at starbucks for 4 years. when two shots of espresso is merely a button press away, its hard to not be aggessively cheerful. that and the giant stacks of manuals and procedures

naem
May 29, 2011

etalian posted:

So basically hiring like one of those phony glossy college ads?

Yes exactly. I wouldn't have gotten the job if my then gf wasn't formerly one of those 20 year olds who the other girls all knew, you aren't allowed to date other Starbucks employees because they want you free to flirt with customers.

lol but
Feb 24, 2007

body is a dinosaur
Slippery Tilde

naem posted:

It's def a thing, I was the only male employee at my starbucks. Everyone else was a cute 20 year old girl- one of each major race

Which are the major races?

Kombotron
Aug 11, 2011

Theshby posted:

Which are the major races?

orcs elves dwarves asians

Smeego
Sep 9, 2001

japan sucks

Kombotron posted:

orcs elves dwarves asians
I can confirm this firsthand

naem
May 29, 2011

Theshby posted:

Which are the major races?

White girl with dreads, black girl with dreads, really short Asian girl with high pitched voice (no dreads), really tall quiet Asian girl who looks sad a lot, really tall white girl who is beaming with energy, really short white girl with a high pitched voice who looks sad a lot, and three latinas who spend all their time together- one who has really awesome boobs, one who is short with a high pitched voice, one who is fat and sassy




naem fucked around with this message at 21:12 on Mar 29, 2014

Horniest Manticore
Nov 23, 2013

Hello, you!
Lipstick Apathy

roboshit posted:

i was at a starbucks in san francisco and the really effeminate barista gave a rly gay laugh after i ordered my peppermint mocha and i freaked ouit cuz i thought he wanted to gently caress me in the rear end.

he did

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etalian
Mar 20, 2006

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