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Booblord Zagats posted:I made targets, but my platoon never got brought in to do mess duty for some (wonderful) reason When I went through I got snagged to work the chow hall on the rifle range for a week. The hours were terrible but I used to steal cheesecakes from the freezer and hide in the women's bathroom and jerk off.
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Apr 30, 2014 04:20
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Hekk posted:When I went through I got snagged to work the chow hall on the rifle range for a week. The hours were terrible but I used to steal cheesecakes from the freezer and hide in the women's bathroom and jerk off. Honestly, there wasn't a single point in Boot where I felt the least bit 'randy' , but the cheese cake would have been boss. Making targets was fun though, I just ran around grabbing supplies and bullshitting with the Lcpl's who had nothing better to do and pulling down targets off the range and making fun of lovely shooters with the other guys assigned to do it
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Apr 30, 2014 04:47
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I went to pluck weeds at 4th battalion and ate the most amazing chow I've ever eaten in my military career  .
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Apr 30, 2014 04:49
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I got assigned to the Recycling Center in Parris Island and some old dude was running it and just let us sleep in the air conditioned break room the whole time.
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Apr 30, 2014 04:51
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I got tasked to help out some admin fucks whenever someone with a heavy collar wanted some meaningless crap done. They locked us in a closet where we slept most of the time. We did some sweeping pavement and dumb poo poo like that, but yup, most of the week was sitting on our asses doing nothing. It was great.
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Apr 30, 2014 07:33
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when we receive the command to overturn our footlockers and kick everybody's poo poo all over the squad bay, I'm gunning for your family pictures dont even try to save that poo poo love, alpha recruit vermis
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Apr 30, 2014 08:57
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ps ive been wearing your shoes since first phase I didnt lose mine and I dont even wear your size. They just feel good
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Apr 30, 2014 09:03
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Victor Vermis posted:ps ive been wearing your shoes since first phase I bet you also wore other men's used skivvy shorts, didn't you? And wanked during firewatch in them. And then wore them again.
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Apr 30, 2014 09:21
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Implying that's not what you did. Nice post/username combo lol
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Apr 30, 2014 11:05
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Where'd you find this? I saw it years ago and the full version has a mushroom cloud that Sherman is looking at.
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Apr 30, 2014 14:36
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DoktorLoken posted:Where'd you find this? I saw it years ago and the full version has a mushroom cloud that Sherman is looking at. http://www.thepaincomics.com/weekly060315a.htm
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Apr 30, 2014 14:40
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safetyStanddown posted:Implying that's not what you did. Nice post/username combo lol If you think skivvy shorts are the same thing as my user name, then you're a loving fag
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Apr 30, 2014 15:05
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no please more boot camp chat thanx
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Apr 30, 2014 15:07
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Godholio posted:no please more boot camp chat thanx As if the lovely boot camp stories were somehow taking away from the rest of the awesome convos going on in this cesspool of a thread.
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Apr 30, 2014 15:09
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if only a huge asteroid would hit and turn the entire surface of this poo poo planet into glowing slag, boiling off into space
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Apr 30, 2014 20:41
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I heard the company in front of ours at MCRD had a DI get reprimanded for making a recruit who had snuck away from cleaning detail to take a poo poo, fish out his own turd from an unflushed toilet, walk it in to the squad bay and smash it up in his palms while telling everyone they were not allowed to poo poo on the DI's time.
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Apr 30, 2014 21:12
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We had a dude shoot himself in the head during Table 3 day. I think a general came and talked to us to make us feel better? Then afterwards the DI's were like "I don't know what the general told you, but that dude was a loving coward and a pussy and I'm glad he's loving dead" yay boot camp stories
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Apr 30, 2014 21:19
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I remember being on the 100 series ranges in 29 while the gunner was giving some class on hand grenade use in the assault or something. Unit had been in the field for a few days and a couple of idiots got caught smoking weed the night prior. Rather than send them back, they just took their weapons and planned on dealing with it when everyone left the field. So it's hot as gently caress and there isn't shade. Everyone is doing the whole sit kneel bend semi school circle thing. They are making the dudes caught blazing stay near the front of the school circle. One of the kids grabs the rifle the guy next to him was leaning on and racks the bolt far enough back to put a round in the chamber. Before anyone could really react he puts that round through the bottom of his jaw out the top of his head. This dude was very obviously dead but we had to clear an LZ and send the casevac request up. After the bird took off we had to stand around in the hot rear end sun all day while CID came out and asked us all stupid rear end questions. Also we never got to throw grenades at bunkers which was the only part of the day I was looking forward to.
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Apr 30, 2014 22:25
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Apr 30, 2014 22:39
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Jesus, yeah. Bring back the o_O thread, holy poo poo.
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Apr 30, 2014 22:48
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Hekk posted:I remember being on the 100 series ranges in 29 while the gunner was giving some class on hand grenade use in the assault or something. Unit had been in the field for a few days and a couple of idiots got caught smoking weed the night prior. Rather than send them back, they just took their weapons and planned on dealing with it when everyone left the field. one less hesher in the world. sounds like a good day
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May 1, 2014 03:23
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Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:one less hesher in the world. sounds like a good day bahahah look at how wrong this idiot is. smoking hash owns. if you went to afghanistan and you didnt try some of that af-gooey the one made with the rendered goat fat you're a loving idiot. That and smoking spice blunts on base.
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May 1, 2014 03:26
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Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:one less hesher in the world. sounds like a good day I don't know what hesher means but it sounds like Hessian. The headless bootfuck rides at midnight upon his flaming gofasters! HAVE YOU SEEN MY FLASHLIGHT PEN I JUST BOUGHT IT AT THE PX I THINK THAT BLACK RECRUIT STOLE IT CAN I USE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOURS?!?!!? Tight Booty Shorts posted:smoking hash owns. Oh. I didn't try any. The SACO brought pee pee cups to our COP. Victor Vermis fucked around with this message at 03:31 on May 1, 2014 |
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May 1, 2014 03:29
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opium leaves your system fast enough
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May 1, 2014 05:09
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We should just dump the Harrier/F-35B and put catapults and arrestor wires on LHAs for F-18s. Pretty much what Brazil does for their carriers and it seems to work for them I wonder if anyone in the Pentagon/DARPA ever tried to make that happen
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May 1, 2014 16:49
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We should loving axe fixed wing poo poo that isn't the C-130 and just use more helicopters. There's literally no point in owning an F-18 fleet if you have to be based on land or navy poo poo.
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May 1, 2014 16:54
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Strap A-10s on top of M113s
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May 1, 2014 16:59
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Bolow posted:We should loving axe fixed wing poo poo that isn't the C-130 and just use more helicopters. There's literally no point in owning an F-18 fleet if you have to be based on land or navy poo poo. The only real reason for F/A-18s is faster CAS availability and protecting the MEU in transit if there's ever a poo poo situation that occurs without a full CAW able to escort. The first being way more likely, since the second requires a WW3 scenario to be the least bit viable. Honestly, there shouldn't be a single legacy Hornet in inventory anyhow, considering how much better the E/F/G models are and what maintenance queens the old 18s have become.
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May 1, 2014 17:48
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Booblord Zagats posted:The only real reason for F/A-18s is faster CAS availability and protecting the MEU in transit if there's ever a poo poo situation that occurs without a full CAW able to escort. The first being way more likely, since the second requires a WW3 scenario to be the least bit viable. If there's a carrier around, there will be a CVW available, there's not gonna be much higher of a priority than protecting the ESG with a couple thousand Marines embarked (once they get to shore, that's a different story  ).If there's not a carrier...good luck employing any kind of Hornet, USMC or otherwise. Also thank your idiot leadership (looking at Amos here) for why you don't have Super Bugs and are still tooling around with those old decrepit legacy Hornets. They had the opportunity to procure Super Bugs but did the standard USMC Aviation temper tantrum of stomping their feet and refusing anything but F-35Bs. I'm pretty sure that there's a quote from a relatively senior USMC Aviation officer that verbatim says they would rather have second hand F/A-18Cs from the Navy to replace your Hornets that are hitting the literal end of their airframe life as opposed to getting new build SHs. Because that makes sense. iyaayas01 fucked around with this message at 18:01 on May 1, 2014 |
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May 1, 2014 17:53
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iyaayas01 posted:If there's a carrier around, there will be a CVW available, there's not gonna be much higher of a priority than protecting the ESG with a couple thousand Marines embarked (once they get to shore, that's a different story I'm just halfassedly defending my earlier point, Hornets on LHAs are a better option than VTOL
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May 1, 2014 17:55
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Booblord Zagats posted:I'm just halfassedly defending my earlier point, Hornets on LHAs are a better option than VTOL Snowdens Secret posted:Strap A-10s on top of M113s Booblord Zagats posted:I heard the company in front of ours at MCRD had a DI get reprimanded for making a recruit who had snuck away from cleaning detail to take a poo poo, fish out his own turd from an unflushed toilet, walk it in to the squad bay and smash it up in his palms while telling everyone they were not allowed to poo poo on the DI's time. A dude in my platoon poo poo his pants after Warriors Bfast because he was too pussy to tell the DIs. He probably ended up being a helicopter mechanic or something.
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May 1, 2014 18:15
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Probably some squadron knuckle dragging gently caress. The smart ones are all I-Level 
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May 1, 2014 18:19
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MassivelyBuckNegro posted:A dude in my platoon poo poo his pants after Warriors Bfast because he was too pussy to tell the DIs. He probably ended up being a helicopter mechanic or something. I'm pretty sure every platoon had a guy poo poo his pants in the first two weeks. Our pants-shitter thought he was going to be a reservist tank mechanic who didn't realize he signed up for active duty as a regular motorpool
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May 1, 2014 18:22
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Booblord Zagats posted:I'm pretty sure every platoon had a guy poo poo his pants in the first two weeks. Our pants-shitter thought he was going to be a reservist tank mechanic who didn't realize he signed up for active duty as a regular motorpool This was like 8 weeks in so.... Bolow posted:Probably some squadron knuckle dragging gently caress. I don't know what that means because I'm not a human being.
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May 1, 2014 18:24
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Some dude poo poo himself the first night of receiving. I was awake in my rack, and I hear this dude freakin' out, as he bolted towards the bathroom. He didn't even make it to the other side of the squad bay before he poo poo himself. Making a huge loving mess all over the floor for the firewatch to clean up. I seriously doubt he made it past boot camp or in life. The dude was pretty loving stupid and goofy looking on top of it(goon.jpg in the flesh, so maybe he made it as an 03). Best part was watching a DI falcon punch this guy with a canteen to the chest, and send him spilling into one of the racks.
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May 1, 2014 18:35
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iyaayas01 posted:
Yeah, my brother was a Marine aviator for a bit and he gets mad when people bring up the 35 and the Harrier as anything other than "Can you believe this lovely boondoggle?" and to this day gets mad at himself for not being more patient with the Navy officer selection board, since the only reason he went Marines was to get a guaranteed flight spot without having to wait around for 6 months after he got out of college. Dude has stopped work in our office for an entire day to browbeat a new employee what a loving waste VTOL is because he was bragging about working for Lockheed on the 35
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May 1, 2014 18:36
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Look at it this way, the USMC ridiculous VTOL requirement gave us the lift fan bay, and thus the Groverlaser
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May 1, 2014 18:40
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But VTOL is super vital guys.
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May 1, 2014 18:44
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Can't wait for a poo poo story that involves a VTOL fan bay and human excrement.
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May 1, 2014 18:47
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Booblord Zagats posted:Yeah, my brother was a Marine aviator for a bit and he gets mad when people bring up the 35 and the Harrier as anything other than "Can you believe this lovely boondoggle?" and to this day gets mad at himself for not being more patient with the Navy officer selection board, since the only reason he went Marines was to get a guaranteed flight spot without having to wait around for 6 months after he got out of college. Sounds like a real cool dude
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May 1, 2014 18:47
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