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  • Locked thread
Moongrave
Jun 19, 2004

Finally Living Rent Free
Welcome to The New Games.txt

A more free and open Games.txt where you can talk about the bad quotes people are posting

Here are the new rules:

ONE: Keep the Helldumpy stuff to a minimum. If you're going to quote some sperging goonlord, just leave it unattributed.

TWO: Put your quotes, in quotes. So people don't think it's you spewing this awful, retarded junk! We wouldn't want that would we?






A free form poem called "Don't piss off a PC gamer", inspired by the following image:

quote:

quote:

Nice post fuckbucket, how does it feel to be a blithering thundercunt unable to realise that the people who buy high end PCs drive the tech that goes into your lovely consoles? Maybe you should take your loving diaper off and get the dick shaped pacifier out of you mouth before you post again. Twatmonger.


quote:

it's damaging to nintendo reputation and reputation is everything in japan im an expert trust me they will not tolerate gaijin failings

quote:

Oh look another FPS military game ohhhhhh boy I can't wait to not play it. The game looks amazing and all but... all it really comes down to is pew pew pew what's my score. The last interesting FPS was Borderlands 2 and I feel as if this genre is literally beating a dead horse. Open world RPG's maybe you've heard of them? They aren't multiplayer maps

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Kewpuh
Oct 22, 2003

when i dip you dip we dip
Couple things I want to point out before we get started. We're going to try this again without the example rule. I understand the point of that rule before because we had a problem with this thread and people getting into arguments over silly things and it generated a ton of reports we didn't want to see. While this worked, it also killed a lot of potential conversation because not everyone has time to go out and scour the internet for crazy poo poo people post about games. Killing the potential for conversation on a forum is obviously not a good thing so feel free to discuss the craziness, post and laugh, have a good time.

One very important thing though. Don't report people in this thread unless they are breaking very major rules like helldumping or NWS poo poo or spamming Goatse or whatever. If some dumbass slapfight happens, work it out. We're not holding your hands anymore and coming to the rescue because someone called you a homo because you said it was mean to point out that some guy cried about the ending to Metal Gear Solid 4. If you generate a bullshit report, I'm gonna post it here and you're gonna look like a loving crybaby.

Enjoy.

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

Kewpuh posted:

One very important thing though. Don't report people in this thread unless they are breaking very major rules like helldumping or NWS poo poo or spamming Goatse or whatever. If some dumbass slapfight happens, work it out. We're not holding your hands anymore and coming to the rescue because someone called you a homo because you said it was mean to point out that some guy cried about the ending to Metal Gear Solid 4. If you generate a bullshit report, I'm gonna post it here and you're gonna look like a loving crybaby.

Enjoy.

You are the best mod.

Edit content:

quote:

I asked for a refund I EXPLAINED IN CLEAR DETAIL THAT I NO LONGER HAVE THE PAYPAL ACCOUNT! I asked if I could get store credit they assured me they could do so. Well they refunded the money to the paypal account anyway which I do not have access too and that person now has 60$ for free. They wrote me a email pretty much stating OH WELL contact paypal.....why? I am contacting you guys since you made the mistake not me I clearly over and over even called and stated this, I even said if you had to refund the paypal account and could not give store credit just leave the pre-order that I had....yet they still refunded to a account that I do not own and that person that owns it is no longer available. I will never ever purchase from you again and I will buy my things from G2A from now on! I was a loyal customer and you lost my business for life, you have way to much competition on there to just ignore and neglect your consumers. I buy a ton of games since I am a streamer and I will publicy denounce you in every broadcast just to make sure you do not get any business from my viewers.

He's a streamer watch out GMG.

Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 21:47 on Apr 4, 2014

Neo Rasa
Mar 8, 2007
Everyone should play DUKE games.

:dukedog:




http://tiredgamer.ytmnd.com/

http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/714549-dead-or-alive-5-ultimate/68883543

FirstAidKite
Nov 8, 2009
I recently posted on the steam forums for a game called 3 Stars of Destiny to not support the developer because all of his games, especially those in the same series as his 3 Stars of Destiny series, are super creepy and misogynistic and awful and have a plot that can be summed up as "the developer's extremely dominant self-insert rescues his extremely submissive 16 year-old elf waifu from being raped by the bad guys because the bad guys plan to rape her with a dragon in order to create a stronger dragon."

Some of the responses before the developer closed the thread were pretty hilarious.












:allears: I never thought it'd turn into such a honeypot thread

Neo Rasa
Mar 8, 2007
Everyone should play DUKE games.

:dukedog:
"Rampart Misogyny" is a great band name.

Wrestlepig
Feb 25, 2011

my mum says im cool

Toilet Rascal


MyAnimeList.net Forum »» Club Discussion »» [Club Information] Cogito Ergo Sum - Philosophy In Anime and Manga »» Philosophical Video Games?

Now I love anime as much as the next guy, but the fact of the matter is I do, in general, spend more time playing video games than watching anime. But I do love my philosophy. Video games overall may be better known for delivering the not-so-deep thrills of stomping on mushrooms, mutilating monsters, or shooting terrorists, and "challenging the mind" in games usually means providing players with puzzles that require ingenuity and critical thinking for a definitive solution. (not that there's anything wrong with any of the above.) But I know for a fact that there are games out there that can be challenging in more sophisticated ways, that can play with our perceptions of reality or give us ambitious, allegorical stories. I've played or am planning to play some of these, but I'm always - ALWAYS - eager to hear of more, no matter what their genre, platform, or demographic. I'll start by listing the games I know firsthand or have heard convincing evidence to be philosophical, and I hope others will chime in with their suggestions. With luck, all of us gamers here will have a great new list of games to seek out the next time they're at the local Gamestop.

- Chrono Cross (PS1) (The first game toyed with some mildly philosophical themes, and having played it is quite important to grasping the subtleties of the second. But Cross really took those themes and expanded them aggressively, providing many intense and provocative musings about the nature of reality, the significance of life and death, the role of human beings in nature, and the timeless question of fate vs. free will. The best part is that these themes were meaningfully incorporated into the gameplay, not just the dialogue - while the story dealt with the question of predetermination versus control over our own destiny, the game literally balanced the player's ability to influence the progression of the storyline with certain common plot threads that were unavoidable, leaving the player uncertain as to just what they had control over and what was in fact inevitable. The ending was beautifully postmodern and really made you think about your own existence. And of course, after you beat the game you could mess with the plot entirely to see dramatically different outcomes.)

- Xenogears/Xenosaga (PS1/PS2 respectively) (I have barely played these, but own them, and I REALLY should. I'm kinda waiting for Gears to come out on PSN (it's already out in Japan) so I can download it to my PSP and play it on the go. It should be telling that the Chrono Cross guys made these games too - Monolith Soft knows how to make games with provocative storylines.)

- Bioshock (360, PS3, PC) (I literally just got this last weekend, so I'll soon see if the rumors about this game's philosophical depth ring true.)

- Final Fantasy Tactics (PS1, PSP) (Yasumi Matsuno is another video-game storyteller with a penchant for genuine depth, and this game is deeply concerned with the morality of politics and, once again, the question of free will versus predestination)

- Metal Gear Solid 2 (PS2) (I won't give anything away to those who haven't played it, but let me assure you, the ending will make you think. A lot. Those who have played it know exactly what I'm talking about. Other games in the series, particularly the original/Twin Snakes, are pretty abstract and thought-provoking as well, but MGS2 is easily the poster child for the series as it relates to philosophy.)

- The Shin Megami Tensei series, each in their own way - the Persona games explore themes of psychology and personal identity, while the main-series games are more concerned with morality and human nature.

- I've also heard very positive things about the Fallout series, Deus Ex, Grim Fandango, Braid, and arguably the games of Suda 51, depending on whether you think they're loaded with social symbolism or merely ultra-stylized weirdness.

- Give me more!!

Wrestlepig fucked around with this message at 23:55 on Apr 4, 2014

Wrestlepig
Feb 25, 2011

my mum says im cool

Toilet Rascal

Maximum Planck
Feb 16, 2012

Dark Souls is bad and sucks. Take it from me, I am a video game expert.



I probably shouldn't laugh at this



Hello, is this killerkoala42? We'd like to hire you to direct Dark Souls 3.

Pittsburgh Lambic
Feb 16, 2011


EVE Online players get very upset if you break their internet spaceships while they're AFK.

Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

I found my kendo stick, bitch!

Lipstick Apathy

Pittsburgh Lambic posted:



EVE Online players get very upset if you break their internet spaceships while they're AFK.

Jesus, what ship did you blow up? I mean, this has got to be more than rifter rage.

Then again I've seen some pretty insane rifter rage.

Pittsburgh Lambic
Feb 16, 2011

Fenrir posted:

Jesus, what ship did you blow up? I mean, this has got to be more than rifter rage.

Then again I've seen some pretty insane rifter rage.

It wasn't me that did it; it was from a blog, but the guy lost his retriever (cheap, lovely mining barge) while parked in the middle of space and mining space rocks while away from his computer.

More on that, including more hilarious EVEmails from the afflicted: http://www.minerbumping.com/2013/12/the-b-1-f-bomber.html

BattleCake
Mar 12, 2012

Pittsburgh Lambic posted:

It wasn't me that did it; it was from a blog, but the guy lost his retriever (cheap, lovely mining barge) while parked in the middle of space and mining space rocks while away from his computer.

It's always the miners.







Source: http://www.minerbumping.com/

Doom Goon
Sep 18, 2008


chaos rhames posted:

MyAnimeList.net Forum »» Club Discussion »» [Club Information] Cogito Ergo Sum - Philosophy In Anime and Manga »» Philosophical Video Games?

Now I love anime as much as the next guy, but the fact of the matter is I do, in general, spend more time playing video games than watching anime. But I do love my philosophy.

...

- I've also heard very positive things about the Fallout series, Deus Ex, Grim Fandango, Braid, and arguably the games of Suda 51, depending on whether you think they're loaded with social symbolism or merely ultra-stylized weirdness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKF0IYwhrjk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAeBCUNVMwE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BM91ud4W_y4&t=16s
Oh, who am I kidding! I love it :allears:

Tracula
Mar 26, 2010

PLEASE LEAVE
Sort of gamers.txt but the new Fplus covers Skyrim sex mods. This should be great :allears:
http://thefpl.us/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=203:episode-132-skyrim-has-crashed-user-decency-error&catid=1:podcasts

First topic: Schlongs of Skyrim

Tracula fucked around with this message at 08:07 on Apr 5, 2014

Catsplosion
Aug 19, 2007

I am become Dwarf, the destroyer of cats.

BattleCake posted:

It's always the miners.




I love how hipster is a catch-all name for somebody you don't like.

StoryTime
Feb 26, 2010

Now listen to me children and I'll tell you of the legend of the Ninja
Well, seems like many free image hosts or forums software don't care for my 1058 x 21957 jpeg, so click and save it on your personal computers while you can.

Don't click on it. :nws:

StoryTime fucked around with this message at 14:04 on Apr 5, 2014

jiffypop45
Dec 30, 2011

StoryTime posted:

Well, seems like many free image hosts or forums software don't care for my 1058 x 21957 jpeg, so click and save it on your personal computers while you can.



That redirected me to a cam site with a lot of naked women. Thankfully I am not at work. Something is seriously wrong with your link.

Len
Jan 21, 2008

Pouches, bandages, shoulderpad, cyber-eye...

Bitchin'!


jiffypop45 posted:

That redirected me to a cam site with a lot of naked women. Thankfully I am not at work. Something is seriously wrong with your link.

I got the punishtube mobile site.

Cuntellectual
Aug 6, 2010

jiffypop45 posted:

That redirected me to a cam site with a lot of naked women. Thankfully I am not at work. Something is seriously wrong with your link.

Everyone's got a hobby.

StoryTime
Feb 26, 2010

Now listen to me children and I'll tell you of the legend of the Ninja

jiffypop45 posted:

That redirected me to a cam site with a lot of naked women. Thankfully I am not at work. Something is seriously wrong with your link.

Edited out, and I apologize. Hunting for random image hosts obviously isn't the thing to do.

Edit: Ohh, I think it was AdBlock that prevented me from seeing all these young, healthy ladies. Sorry about that.

StoryTime fucked around with this message at 13:48 on Apr 5, 2014

Blue Rupie
Mar 25, 2013

StoryTime posted:

Well, seems like many free image hosts or forums software don't care for my 1058 x 21957 jpeg, so click and save it on your personal computers while you can.

Don't click on it. :nws:

Here, I re-uploaded it.

precision
May 7, 2006

by VideoGames
So, a minor article that mentions the fact that Wal-Mart and Target are offering incentives to buy an XBox One, and that the PS4 is selling out everywhere and likely has sold more consoles total - surely such a thing can't really be argued with, right? I mean, facts are fa-

quote:

The Xbox is a true Next Gen system that controls ALL of your entertainment needs! The Xbox was out sold by Sony before but as always Xbox will pull away because they understand the gamer and their needs better. Once the new Halo hits the market there will be a mass purchase of the system. I am sorry but it is sad that these sites continue to print articles from "writers" that clearly have no clue and have probably never seen the games side by side. If this guy had he would be singing a different tune (oh, wait...he wouldn't since he is just a fanboy...lol).

quote:

January sales were terrible because anyone interested in getting an X1 in january but not at launch is just going to wait until Titanfall comes out.

Titanfall...will move mountains.

LordHippoman
May 30, 2013

I, frankly, want this smug Jagen to be my avatar on all forms of social media immediately.
GameFAQS is low hanging fruit, I know, but in this exciting topic, user "RahzarX" complains about being invaded in King's Ruin in Dark Souls II (Haven't played it, so I guess that means another player attacked him there or something). It's mostly boring "I play honorably" poo poo until someone points out you're allowed to do it in game, to which he replies:

quote:

You're allowed to rape people in real life. I say go for it.

Bonus Reply:

quote:

Look dude, have you heard of reefer? You should smoke some and chill the hell out.

Internet Kraken
Apr 24, 2010

slightly amused
Don't commit the crime of being hispanic and playing Dota.



My favorite part is how he assumes owning a car alone means his life is already better than theirs.

Inspector_666
Oct 7, 2003

benny with the good hair

Internet Kraken posted:

Don't commit the crime of being hispanic and playing Dota.



My favorite part is how he assumes owning a car alone means his life is already better than theirs.

Um, he has a truck and a car. You can't argue with that poo poo, man.

tomanton
May 22, 2006

beam me up, tomato
It is overwhelmingly likely that their actual crime is joining "please only speak English in this match" matchmaking and not speaking English, but the guy is still a moron for freaking out about it, because who cares. Lots of foreign players go for the English servers just because their local laggy/unpopulated queues can't get them a decent match, but the racists conveniently forget all about Dota's awful server infrastructure and fantasize that these people are there to sabotage their game/never cooperate/know English and refuse to speak it/etc.

Hispanics have to put up with more racism than others just because they play at the same as most English speakers. Dota 2 stat aggregator Dotabuff.com recently got a UI overhaul. The top comment:



The devs said yes.

Chaltab
Feb 16, 2011

So shocked someone got me an avatar!

Internet Kraken posted:

Don't commit the crime of being hispanic and playing Dota.



My favorite part is how he assumes owning a car alone means his life is already better than theirs.
Or that he just assumes that they're Mexican when like the majority of countries in the western hemisphere have predominantly Spanish-speaking populations.

So someone posted a promotional image of Rosalina with her suit and an ATV from Mario Kart 8. Her suit is white and is textured like leather. Of course, gamers being gamers, creepy happened.

Chaltab
Feb 16, 2011

So shocked someone got me an avatar!

Internet Kraken posted:

Don't commit the crime of being hispanic and playing Dota.



My favorite part is how he assumes owning a car alone means his life is already better than theirs.
Or that he just assumes that they're Mexican when like the majority of countries in the western hemisphere have predominantly Spanish-speaking populations.

So someone posted a promotional image of Rosalina with her suit and an ATV from Mario Kart 8. Her suit is white and is textured like leather. Of course, gamers being gamers, creepy happened.

Cowman
Feb 14, 2006

Beware the Cow





The steam forums for Goat Simulator are a fantastic source of gamers.txt quotes. For those who don't know, Goat Sim is a dumb as hell game that's just about playing with physics in a sandbox environment. Nerds are raging about this game since it isn't super serious or bug free (it embraces bugs that don't crash the game). TotalBiscuit did a lovely review of it where he complained that the game would lag when trying to render the 50+ goats he summoned (all of which had their own ragdoll physics and interacted with the environment individually). He also hated it because it wasn't serious and had bugs in it. The game is $10 and completely stupid and fun for fun's sake yet some people just get enraged at this thought. Anyways, enough backstory and on to some choice quotes:

quote:

The fact is that this game is NO WHERE near as great looking as most games nowadays, so if his beast [TotalBiscuit's SLI Titans] can't run it properly it's clearly because the game is poorly optimised. The devs didn't work on it for long, and it shows.

"The game is clearly a joke from the start."

Well everyone knows that, but the joke cost $10. That's the problem. The fact that it sells this much is like asking for more poorly programmed games with no story and lack of features (come on now, they want US to program a multiplayer mod instead of working on this joke one more week?). The game is just not good (even if you think it's funny, you know it's a bad game), and I'd rather see a good game in the top sellers instead of an extremely dumbed down version of Just Cause 2 where the only fun part is the glitches (that are always the same so it gets old extremely quickly).

I'm not raging BTW, just explaining to you where the "hate" comes from. I'll never buy this game and I'll never care about people who do.

As a side note to this one, I have a GTX 760 and run the game at Max settings and have no problem with the FPS until I spawn a bunch of goats and basically do a lot of physics stuff.

Same guy posted:

Buying a joke $10 makes your opinion biased because you secretly don't want to feel like wasting your money.
Also, with a game like this where the fun comes from what you see (rather than a feeling of accomplishement or from the skills you have to master) it's easy to make your own opinion from let's plays. Just like I could see a video from a new Pac-Man and know if I will enjoy it, because it's such a simple game with little features that if you don't enjoy what you see, you will not enjoy performing it yourself.

If I don't find it funny to see a goat exploding a car with a headbutt (mostly because there's nothing else to do with a car, it's funny the first time and then you never try it again) and will not find it funny to do it myself. This applies to everything in this game, since the only reason it exists is to make the player laugh, as opposed to another game where it also offers challenges to overcome, a story to discover and skills to master that you can't understand just by looking at it.

quote:

Yes, I got banned...because I actually threw insults out there.

Now, I just throw facts. So if facts about a game = Insults. Then, screw it...it's almost worth it just to point out how much this game really means in relation to the dumbing down of the gaming industry.

This game was not deserving of being rewarded with a purchase from the amount of people that did go out of their way to purchase it.

THIS IS NOT THE KIND OF ♥♥♥♥ YOU REWARD WITH A PURCHASE!

You don't think so now... but this will have repercussions as far as the direction things will start moving.

If you haven't noticed the amount of shovelware being dumped into the steam store shelves....
Then I don't know what else to say.

And I think it bears repeating again.
The amount of ♥♥♥♥♥ing that the "Community" does over certain other games being unfinished messes...

There's oh so many more on the steam community forums where people get pissed that someone enjoys a really stupid game.

Byde
Apr 15, 2013

by Lowtax
On the last post of the last thread:

Meow Tse-tung posted:

I just got this game called "Mitsuragi kamui hakai" from a previous bundle, and I checked the steam store page to see what it was and if it was worth installing before throwing in my backlog void. First topic on the community page is:

I dunno if you still care, let's ask this dweeb about the game:

Contender for most broken person posted:

Mitsurugi Kamui Hikae

Cute Japanese schoolgirls? Check
Smooth killer moves? Check
Life-recharging bloodbaths? Check
"EASY MODO" is a joke? Check
lovely camera? Check
Every button on the Xbox 360 gamepad is put to good use? Check
From the C84 pile of junk to Steam in only 6 months? Check!
Overpriced trading cards? CHECK!
Pantyshots while asskicking? loving CHECK!

...Yeah. Oh by the way, almost everything by this person uses memes and internet leet speak like somebody out of reddit.

Coolguye
Jul 6, 2011

Required by his programming!

Cowman posted:

The steam forums for Goat Simulator are a fantastic source of gamers.txt quotes.
Pointing out that Goat Simulator had best seller on Steam for 4 days running is practically hitting 'gamers.txt' on a vending machine right now, and it is GORGEOUS.

Michaellaneous
Oct 30, 2013

Guy with the most interesting insult posted:

I playe'd myself every ace combat serie to the 5st, and i still play has today the 4st and the 5st frequently, and in this ace combat i can see a continuity in the serie, even if the forced "casualisation" bother me >A LITTLE<, but not to the point of trying to ruin it for other player who want to play it. You are a ♥♥♥♥♥♥bag op, you are not an elitist or a power-user, you are a surdimentional-ego-♥♥♥♥♥♥bag.

I actually started look in the X:Rebirth forum for sweet tears, but the guys there all agree the game is poo poo.

Not so with Ace Combat AH. All those fan- and anti-fanboys :allears:

e:

Banned posted:

I'm actually a pretty awesome guy. I was just stooping to your level because your opening post was nothing more than a stupid, uneducated opinion trying to drive new players away.

Michaellaneous fucked around with this message at 12:06 on Apr 6, 2014

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

Just add
NERD RAAAAAAGE

Pork Pie Hat
Apr 27, 2011
gamedev.text and christians.txt!

Phoenix Interactive are making a game based on the life of Abraham. Polygon went and interviewed them (here). It soon became clear that the failiure of the company's kickstarter. amognst other development woes, can be put down to Satan.

quote:

"I believe that, 100 percent," replies Richard Gaeta, a co-founder of Phoenix Interactive. He argues that since the launch of the Kickstarter for Bible Chronicles: The Call of Abraham, trouble has come into all their lives.

"It's very tangible," adds his business partner Martin Bertram. "From projects falling through and people that were lined up to help us make this a success falling through. Lots of factors raining down on us like fire and brimstone."

O....k?

quote:

"If Satan is rallying some of his resources to forestall, delay, or kill this project, I think, this must be a perceived threat to his kingdom," adds Ken Frech, a religious mentor to the project. "I fully would expect something like this to have spiritual warfare. Look at the gospel accounts of demons and so forth. That's reality. Many Americans don't believe it anymore. That doesn't change reality."

:wtc:

If you're a godless Euro Commie like I am, the whole thing is hilarious.

Tracula
Mar 26, 2010

PLEASE LEAVE

This reminds me. Has MDickie ever actually said/done anything crazy outside of his games?

Michaellaneous
Oct 30, 2013

Tracula posted:

This reminds me. Has MDickie ever actually said/done anything crazy outside of his games?

The answer to that is pretty much no. I think he did some other, random stuff iirc.

But really. If you hear MDickie you think of games.

DrManiac
Feb 29, 2012

Tracula posted:

This reminds me. Has MDickie ever actually said/done anything crazy outside of his games?


He wrote that :smug: book, but I don't think he's a hardcore Christan or anything.

Michaellaneous
Oct 30, 2013

DrManiac posted:

He wrote that :smug: book, but I don't think he's a hardcore Christan or anything.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1441414983/ref=redir_mdp_mobile?redirect=true

I forgot.

Also holy poo poo that cover is the definiton of :smug:

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Wiseblood
Dec 31, 2000

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRf800DiOrc

From Chip Cheezum's You Testament LP, a dramatic reading of two of M Dickie's blog posts (voiced by Edwyn Tiong, who's kinda like the Steve Blum of Newgrounds). The :smug: level is off the charts.

  • Locked thread