Apple: Samsung just announced it's gay too

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Apple: Samsung just announced it's gay too

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Juul-Whip: Mar 10, 2008

apple sends out a card to all the press outlets. it has some lame pun about wearables or wrists or jewelry or something. on april 30th, come see what apple is wearing this summer. everyone loses their poo poo cause its ovviously the iwatch. then timb comes out and does a whole jobs style preamble where its like "we've revolutionized the computer, music, phones, pads. but what about things you wear? so we've teamed up with timex to create these revolutionary apple watches."

and its just a timex with an apple logo or something and "designed by jony in california" inscribed on it. he's like "nah we're loving with you its just a watch" they all have a good laugh and then timbs says alright here's the new macbooks

Juul-Whip fucked around with this message at 06:44 on Apr 17, 2014

# ? Apr 17, 2014 06:39

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 22:40

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

and then he shows a two hour film of jonny ive talking about different kinds of plastic

lights come on, shows over, auditorium is cleared

when the press reaches the parking lot they find all their cars have been towed

# ? Apr 17, 2014 06:46

gregday: May 23, 2003

a giant apple logo on stage splits in half vertically as a blurred mass of purple cloth comes flopping out. it is steve jobs, in full willy wonka regalia, letting us in on his death hoax

# ? Apr 17, 2014 07:18

quaker69: Jul 3, 2004; Four measures of cheap Vodka combined with a bottle of Bawls; Lipstick Apathy

Actually an apple watch thats not a smartwatch sounds kind of awesome.

kind of how people thought the iphone was going to have a keyboard and poo poo and when it came out it was super simple like an ipod that took phone calls.

the iwatch will just be a super sexy watch that actually looks and behaves like a watch.. that i dont know maybe says you've got a text or email or something, prompting you check your phone like you're going to do anyhow.

or the whole thing is a hoax

# ? Apr 17, 2014 07:32

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

I miss a physical keyboard/keypad. used to be way easier to text and drive or text and be in a meeting

# ? Apr 17, 2014 07:38

Juul-Whip: Mar 10, 2008

BrettRobb posted:

Actually an apple watch thats not a smartwatch sounds kind of awesome.

kind of how people thought the iphone was going to have a keyboard and poo poo and when it came out it was super simple like an ipod that took phone calls.

the iwatch will just be a super sexy watch that actually looks and behaves like a watch.. that i dont know maybe says you've got a text or email or something, prompting you check your phone like you're going to do anyhow.

or the whole thing is a hoax

no no its just a regular quartz analog watch with like a silver apple logo. its just a dumb trinket like ipod socks.

# ? Apr 17, 2014 07:42

quaker69: Jul 3, 2004; Four measures of cheap Vodka combined with a bottle of Bawls; Lipstick Apathy

i'd buy that

# ? Apr 17, 2014 08:18

Scott Forstall: Aug 16, 2003; MMM THAT FAUX LEATHER

THC posted:

apple sends out a card to all the press outlets. it has some lame pun about wearables or wrists or jewelry or something. on april 30th, come see what apple is wearing this summer.

the wwdc lottery email had something like "life will be better at wwdc" so healthbook

# ? Apr 17, 2014 13:46

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

BrettRobb posted:

Actually an apple watch thats not a smartwatch sounds kind of awesome.

kind of how people thought the iphone was going to have a keyboard and poo poo and when it came out it was super simple like an ipod that took phone calls.

the iwatch will just be a super sexy watch that actually looks and behaves like a watch.. that i dont know maybe says you've got a text or email or something, prompting you check your phone like you're going to do anyhow.

or the whole thing is a hoax

that's about the only thing that would actually be useful. use ble to push simple notifications to the watch with some slick little indicator on the watch (i dunno some small feature of the face that turns from reflective to black or something), and maybe add something like alarms/alerts that can beep and be silenced by the watch instead of the phone or an alarm that goes off when you get too far from your phone to make forgetting it a thing of the past. maybe partner with a few established high end watch manufactures but that isn't apple's thing so probably not.

slashdot will scoff about how it doesn't do 900 things like samsung's wrist brick and a fuckton of people will buy it.

# ? Apr 17, 2014 14:43

Peanut and the Gang: Aug 24, 2009; by exmarx

iWatch will have a 3D hologram thing so you can do more with less.

# ? Apr 17, 2014 15:18

graph: Nov 22, 2006; aaag peanuts

Smythe posted:

ring ring ring ring ring ring, obamaphone

troll ur republiturd friends by telling them reagan started the free phone program for poors!!

# ? Apr 17, 2014 16:28

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

THC posted:

no no its just a regular quartz analog watch with like a silver apple logo. its just a dumb trinket like ipod socks.

all watches w/ logos are poo poo

# ? Apr 17, 2014 17:47

Peanut and the Gang: Aug 24, 2009; by exmarx

Shaggar posted:

all watches w/ logos are poo poo

Apple will figure out how to make it work.

# ? Apr 17, 2014 17:49

Stymie: Jan 9, 2001; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

i'm guessing the iwatches will probably come in with $99 and $199 pricepoints

obviously with healthbook functionality but likely also with some simple interface features like the 6th gen ipod nano, likely with notification hooks to the iphone

i also bet it will have interchangeable wrist straps for those accessory dollars that tim is so keen on getting

# ? Apr 17, 2014 17:52

DONT THREAD ON ME: Oct 1, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo; Floss Finder

Shifty Pony posted:

that's about the only thing that would actually be useful. use ble to push simple notifications to the watch with some slick little indicator on the watch (i dunno some small feature of the face that turns from reflective to black or something), and maybe add something like alarms/alerts that can beep and be silenced by the watch instead of the phone or an alarm that goes off when you get too far from your phone to make forgetting it a thing of the past. maybe partner with a few established high end watch manufactures but that isn't apple's thing so probably not.

slashdot will scoff about how it doesn't do 900 things like samsung's wrist brick and a fuckton of people will buy it.

Yeah they're gonna make the Pebble

# ? Apr 17, 2014 18:08

a neurotic ai: Mar 22, 2012

So basically a galaxy gear fit with an apple sticker.

Hooray. The wearables market is saved.

i don't get this health book thing somebody explain it to me i'm a bit slow. ;(

# ? Apr 17, 2014 18:09