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Rules: 1. There will be 22 rounds where you will fill up 22 starting positions. 2. No kickers or backups may be taken. 3. Numbers will be drawn out of a hat to determine pick order. 4. NO TRADING!!! 5. In addition, you have 12 hours to pick. After 12 hours you will be given a reasonable player by the first person to call attention to your lack of attention. No exceptions, 12 and your times up. 6. Any past and present player is eligible. 7. Draft 3 WRs or 2 WRs and a FB. 8. DON"T POST IN THIS FRICKIN THREAD UNLESS YOU'RE MAKING A SELECTION!!! Order: 1. Jacksonville Jaguars - Parmesan Basil 2. Kansas City Chiefs - Tremendous Taste 3. San Francisco 49ers - Grozz Nuy 4. Chicago Bears - Pops Mgee 5. Green Bay Packers - Top Hats Monthly 6. Baltimore Ravens - The Puppy Bowl 7. Detroit Lions - Detroit Dogg 8. Dallas Cowboys - Febreeze 9. New Orleans Saints - Intruder 10. Cleveland Browns - Rap 11. Cincinnati Bengals - Eifert Posting 12. Indy Colts - Tanglewood420 13. Houston Texans - zimbomonkey 14. Pittsburgh Steelers - Alouicious 15. Miami Dolphins - Ehud 16. Carolina Panthers - Crazy 17. Seattle Seahawks - Gerund 18. Arizona Cardinals - Zerilan 19. St Louis Rams - Volkerball 20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - A Pale Horse 21. Buffalo Bills - Atticus Finch 22. Denver Ponies - Knightmere 23. New York Giants - Daltos 24. Atlanta Falcons - Chilichump 25. Minnesota Vikings - JRizzle 26. Washington Redfolk of the Savage Lands - Ice Phoenix 27. Oakland Raiders - incompetent 28. Philly Eagles - Mel Mudkiper 29. San Diego Chargers - Pron on VHS 30. New York Jets - Rasczak 31. Tennessee Titans - Korrandark 32. New England Patriots - Toymachine Doltos fucked around with this message at 15:41 on Apr 29, 2014 |
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Apr 23, 2014 01:16
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In lieu of going round per round for 22 rounds, which would take up like 3 posts, this post will be where we dump the names for players already selected. Please look at this post to see if a guy has been taken already before you take him. There will be a results thread where you post your teams as you're building them. Quarterbacks 1-1. Dan Marino, Miami Dolphins 2-3. Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts 3-5. Brett Favre, Minnesota Vikings 4-10. Joe Montana, San Francisco 49ers 5-12. Johnny Unitas, Baltimore Colts 6-14. Fritz Pollard?, ??? 7-15. Tawhm Bradeh, Bawston Pats 8-16. Steve Young, San Francisco 49ers 9-44. Fran Tarkenton, Minnesota Vikings 10-50. Randall Cunningham - QB Eagles 11-58. John Elway - Denver Broncos - Somehow Dropped to 58 12-60. Bart Starr - Green Bay Packers 13-70. Dan Fouts - San Dieagoan Chargers 14-71. Jim Kelly - Sadness 15-81. Otto Graham - Cleveland Browns 16-92. Sammy Baugh - Raiders? 17-93. Drew Brees - New Orleans Saints 18-102. Kurt Warner - New York Giants Runningbacks 1-17. JIM THORPE, Traveling Indian Sideshow 2-19. Barry Sanders - Detroit Lions 3-23. Bo Jackson - Oakland Raiders 4-27. Jim Brown - Brown 5-28. Gale Sayers - Chicago Bears 6-31. Walter Payton - Chicago Bears 7-40. Marshall Faulk - St. Louis Rams 8-41. Eric Dickerson - Los Angeles Rams 9-45. Herschel Walker(s) - Dallas Cowboys 10-59. OJ Simpson - Buffalo Bills 11-63. LDT - New York Jets 12-73. Emmitt Smith - Arizona Cardinals 13-97. Galloping Red Grange - University of Illinois Fullbacks 1-30. Bronko Nagurski - Chicago Bears Wide Receivers 1-6. Jerry Rice, San Francisco 49ers 2-22. Randy Moss, New England Patriots 3-35. Don Hutson - Green Bay Packers 4-37. Calvin Johnson - Detroit Lions 5-48. Paul Warfield - Miami Dolfins 6-49. Terrell Owens - Allen Wranglers 7-68. Lynn Swann - Pittsburgh Steelers 8-72. Cris Carter - Minnesota Vikings 9-82. Steve Largent - Seattle Seahawks 10-87. Torry Holt - St Louis Rams Tight Ends 1-4. Mike Ditka - Da Bears 2-24. Tony Gonzalez - Kansas City Chiefs Offensive Tackles 1-8. Anthony Munoz, Cincinnati Bengals 2-11. Walter Jones, Seattle Seahawks 3-21. Jonathan Ogden, Baltimore Ravens 4-25. Orlando Pace, St. Louis Rams 5-55. Willie Roaf - New Orleans Saints Guards 1-56. Gene Upshaw - Oakland Raidahs 2-61. Bruce Matthews - Tennessee Titans 3-64. Will Shields - Kansas City Chiefs 4-65. John Hannah - New England Patriots 5-67. Jerry Kramer - Green Bay Packers 6-88. Randall McDaniel - Minnesota Vikings 7-100. Larry Allen - Dallas Cowboys Centers Defensive Ends 1-7. Reggie White, Fluffy Eagles 2-20. Deacon Jones, Los Angeles Rams 3-29. Bruce Smith - Buffalo Bills 4-66. Michael Strahan - New York Giants 5-80. Carl Eller - Minnesota Vikings 6-84. Chris Doleman - Minnesota Vikings 7-86. Mike Haynes - Los Angeles Raiders 8-91. JJ Watt - Houston Texans 9-96. Jack Youngblood - Los Angeles Rams 10-104. Howie Long - Oakland Raiders Defensive Tackles 1-13. Joe Greene - Pittsburgh Steelers 2-36. John Randle - Minnesota Vikings 3-42. Cortez Kennedy - Seattle Seahawks 4-42. Alan Page - Purple People Eater 5-46. Bob Lilly - Dallas Cowboys 6-47. Merlin Olsen - Los Angeles Rams 7-51. Ndamukong Suh - Detroit Lions 9-57. Warren Sapp - rear end in a top hat 10-79. Ted Washington - New England Patriots 11-89. Randy White - Houston Oilers Outside Linebackers 1-2. Lawrence Taylor - New York Giants 2-39. Derrick Thomas - Tampa Bay Buccaroos 3-53. Derrick Brooks - Tampa Bay Buccaroos 4-54. Junior 'The Shotgun' Seau - New England Patriots 5-78. Jason Taylor - Miami Dolphins 6-85. Demarcus Ware - Dallas Cowboys 7-99. Jack Ham - Pittsburgh Steelers Inside Linebackers 1-26. Ray Lewis - Baltimore Ravens 2-38. Dick Butkus - Chicago Bears 3-62. Jack Lambert - Pittsburgh Steelers 4-69. Ray Nitschke - Green Bay Packers 5-75. Mike Singletary - Chicago Bears 6-76. Chuck Bednarik - Philadelphia Eagles Cornerbacks 1-9. Deion Sanders - Washington Cowboys 2-18. Rod Woodson - Pittsburgh Steelers 3-33. Dick Lane - Detroit Lions 4-43. Mel Blount - Heh, Blunt - Pittsburgh Steelers 5-52. Champ Bailey - Denver Broncos 6-74. Darrelle Revis - Tampa Bay Buccaneers 7-95. Darrell Green - Washington Redskins 8-98. Lester Hayes - Oakland Raiders 9-101. Ty Law - New England Patriots Safeties 1-32. Ronnie Lott - San Francisco 49ers 2-34. Ed Reed - Houston Texans 3-77. Charles Woodson - Green Bay Packers 4-90. Willie Wood - Green Bay Packers 5-86. Brian Dawkins - Denver Broncos 6-103. Troy Polamalu - Pittsburgh Steelers Doltos fucked around with this message at 15:25 on May 22, 2014 |
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Apr 23, 2014 01:16
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Oh poo poo I go first uh uh uh uh ok I got it Let me begin with a story. When I was in middle school, I was a massive fan of Dan Marino. Not really the Dolphins as a whole, but mostly Dan Marino. He was excellent in Ace Ventura (which every kid I knew had seen several times) and he was a good quarterback. I liked Dan Marino so much that I even had this little pencil bag in my Trapper Keeper with old #13 on it. But then, one day, something hideous happened. I had gotten up to sharpen my pencil and when I sat back down this little shitbird named Scott Gifford had drawn a dick and balls all over the front of my precious Dan Marino pencil holder. I WAS SO loving MAD. Who did he think he was? Steve Young? Well, you know what, Scott Gifford? This is for you. With the very first pick spreading the width and breadth of the entire history of the National Football League, the Jacksonville Jaguars select... THE MAN  THE MYTH  THE ULTIMATE  THE UNDENIABLE  THE WORLDS GREATEST  I PROUDLY PRESENT TO YOU THE LEGEND HIMSELF  MR DANIEL MARINO 
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Apr 23, 2014 15:51
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The Kansas City Chiefs are thrilled to select with the second pick the greatest defensive player in the history of the sport. Lawrence Taylor - LB
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Apr 23, 2014 19:10
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With the 3rd pick of the All Time Mock Draft the San Francisco 49ers select Peyton Manning, quarterback. Just think Pey Pey, if you had made the right choice after you got released by Indy you'd have two more rings by now.
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Apr 23, 2014 20:05
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With da fourth pick in da All Time Mock Draft, da Chicago Bears select Mike "Hurricane Ditka" Ditka, Tight End. Your move idiots. 
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Apr 24, 2014 04:42
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With the fifth pick in the All Time Mock Draft , the Green Bay Packers select Brett Favre
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Apr 24, 2014 21:04
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With the 6th pick in the All Time Mock Draft, the Baltimore Ravens select Jerry Rice You know...  ...the best player...  ...of all time. 
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Apr 24, 2014 21:20
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The Detroit Coney Dogs select Reggie White. 
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Apr 24, 2014 21:42
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The Dallas Cowboys, with the 8th pick in the NFL draft, select Ryan Lea......just kidding ANTHONY MUNOZ   (but secretly Ryan leaf)
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Apr 24, 2014 22:16
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The Saints
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Apr 24, 2014 22:33
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The Cleveland Browns select Joe Montana I mean c'mon now Montana picked 10th?  Montana scopes out the Browns' history  Montana attempts to carry the team yet again  Montana after 5 years in Cleveland 
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Apr 25, 2014 04:05
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With the eleventh pick in THE Football Funhouse's masturbatory AT:MD The Cincinnati Bengals begrudgingly pick Walter Jones, SECOND best offensive lineman of all time. It was between him and Montana, sooo...  Walter is valued on and off the field, as he can dramatically reduce the team's carbon emissions:  And help team health with his unique insights into the culinary arts: 
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Apr 25, 2014 04:23
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With the twelfth pick in the draft, the Baltimore Colts select Johnny Unitas. 10 Pro Bowls, 7 All-Pros, 4 NFL MVPs, 4 Championships, the prototypical QB name and a haircut you could set your watch to.
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Apr 25, 2014 08:39
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Are you ready for some motherfucking PAIN? Because that's what these Texans are all about, baby- hitting you again and again until even your loving ancestors are crying. Do you know why our mascot is a bull? It's because the NFL rejected our original idea of a gorilla ripping your nuts off- that's right, a picture of YOU. These Texans will never play a full game because any game that reaches the half with a member of the other team surviving will be considered a failure. This team will hit you so hard that even the 70's Raiders will be whining about their dirty play. Offense will be an afterthought because points come second to committing on field homicide. Also, because "Texans" is a name for pussies, we will now be referred to as the Houston gently caress You. Now will all that poo poo out of the way, with the 13th pick in the TFF All Time Mock Draft, the Houston gently caress You select... THE MAN THE LEGEND THE ONE THEY CALL MEAN MEAN JOE MOTHERFUCKING GREENE Defensive Tackle  MOTHERFUCKER zimbomonkey fucked around with this message at 09:36 on Apr 25, 2014 |
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Apr 25, 2014 09:33
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*ala Pete Rozelle* With the 14 pick of the NFL All-Time Draft, the Pittsburg Steelers select *opens envelope, pausing dramatically*  Fritz Pollard,  A hardcore motherfucker who was so goddamn electrifying on the field that he was embarrassing all the honkies out there so bad the owners of all the NFL teams agreed to ban black people from the sport for like a decade or some poo poo. Noted racist trash human George Preston Marshall was the biggest proponent of this, as if you didn't need more reason to hate him than calling the Redskins the loving Redskins. Oh, he was also a player-coach. He not only set everyone else on goddamn fire every time he touched the ball, he also told his teammates how to do the same. After he got kicked out of the league he joined a few unofficial all-black teams who went around and continued to loving clown all the punk-rear end all-white teams they could find. 
Alaois fucked around with this message at 21:06 on May 2, 2014 |
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Apr 25, 2014 10:24
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With the 15th pick of the NFL All-Time Draft, the Miami Dolphins select Tawhm Bradeh, QB Tom Brady on the Dolphins! Good pick, right guys?  Guys? 
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Apr 25, 2014 13:34
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I will update with pictures but the Carolina Panthers select 16th overall STEVE YOUNG because quarterbacks are always the best
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Apr 25, 2014 15:11
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With the 17th pick of the TFF All-Time Mock Draft, the Seattle Seahawks select RB/DB JIM THORPE Untackleable. Gold Medal Olympian Speed. The greatest football player that Dwight Eisenhower ever saw (having tried to tackle the man). Native American. All American. With his barnstorming basketball talents would also be a threat as a pass-catcher out of the backfield and a threat to take it to the house as a DB.
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Apr 25, 2014 18:30
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With the 18th pick in the draft, the Arizona cardinals select DB Rod Woodson. 71 Career interceptions with an NFL record 12 INT return TDs. One of 5 players, and the youngest among them, to be selected to the NFL 75th Anniversary All-time Team as an active player.
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Apr 25, 2014 19:28
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When you start to discuss the best running back of all time, it's difficult, because there's so much variation in what the top ones are capable of. The vision and patience of Walter Payton and Emmitt Smith. The power and speed of Bo Jackson. The versatility of Marshall Faulk. The agility and balance of Barry Sanders. In the end, the second one off the board is going based on scheme fit, and certainly warrants being the first one taken off the board. With the 19th pick, the St. Louis Rams select the most entertaining man in the history of the NFL, RB Barry Sanders 
Volkerball fucked around with this message at 00:43 on Apr 26, 2014 |
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Apr 25, 2014 21:48
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With the 20th pick the Bucs select the meanest motherfucker to ever play the game: “You take all the offensive linemen and put them in a burlap bag, and then you take a baseball bat and beat on the bag. You’re sacking them, you’re bagging them. And that’s what you’re doing with a quarterback.”    David "Deacon" Jones - DE
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Apr 25, 2014 22:05
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With the 21st pick in the draft, the Bills select Jonathan Ogden, OT.
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Apr 26, 2014 06:23
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With the 22nd pick, the Mile High Mustangs select Randy Moss All World  Fashion Model 
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Apr 26, 2014 06:52
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With the 23rd pick the Gmen take  
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Apr 26, 2014 15:45
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With the 24th pick of this bullshit all time draft... The Atlanta Falcons select... Husband and Father  The duel sport threat  Definitely, way better than this chump  The Greatest of all Time  Tony Gon(but not forgotten)zalez
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Apr 26, 2014 21:39
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With the 25th pick of the 2014 All-Time Mock Draft, the Minnesota Vikings select: The Master of the Pancake Block https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ys8g-G3gBBQ And eating pancakes  Orlando Pace  
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Apr 26, 2014 23:44
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With the 26th pick, the Washington Badname select Slingin' Sammy Baugh, QB/DB/P
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Apr 27, 2014 15:19
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With the 27th pick, the   
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Apr 27, 2014 15:44
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*steps out to podium* *places Victrola beside him* *plays this song* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otCpCn0l4Wo Ladies and Gentlemen...  With the 28th Pick  The Philadelphia Eagles Select  *drops mic* 
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Apr 27, 2014 18:00
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The Chargers select Bruce Smith, DE
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Apr 27, 2014 21:36
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With the 30th pick of the TFF All Time Mock Draft the New York Jets select Fullback Bronko Nagurski 
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Apr 27, 2014 22:16
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With the 31st pick of the TFF All Time Mock Draft the Tennessee Titans select "Sweetness" Walter Payton  
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Apr 27, 2014 22:32
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With the 32nd pick of the TFF All Time Mock Draft the New England Patriots select beastmode manchild Ronnie Lott. 
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Apr 28, 2014 04:10
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And with that... With the 1st pick of the second round of the TFF All Time Mock Draft, the New England Patriots decide to bolster their already kickass secondary with the selection of Dick "Night Train" Lane.  Just loving look at it! quote:During his rookie season in 1952, Lane established the record for most interceptions in an NFL season (14), a record that has stood for over 60 years, despite the fact that the regular season is 33% longer today than it was in 1952, and that NFL teams pass considerably more than ever before in history.   It is commonly circulated that he acquired the nickname "Night Train" from a hit record by Jimmy Forrest (A #1 R&B hit for 7 weeks in 1952) frequently played by teammate Tom Fears, but this is actually a complete misconception as Lane had gotten the nickname after loving all ya grandmas in one night.
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Apr 28, 2014 04:17
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With the 2nd pick of the second round of the TFF All Time Mock Draft, the Tennessee Titans select Safety Ed Reed 
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Apr 28, 2014 12:13
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With the 35th pick of the TFF All Time Mock Draft the New York Jets select WR Don Hutson 
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Apr 28, 2014 13:44
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In the 2nd round the Chargers select John Randle, DT
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Apr 28, 2014 17:10
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It is my firm belief that a good team is not just about talent Too many times in this league we have seen teams collapse despite looking invincible on paper. No, in this league, its not just the quality of player that matters. Its also the quality of person. We need a leader  Someone who is relentless  But also tender  Someone who can have fun out there  But also knows when to be serious  Someone who can transform to meet the situation  And who takes no prisoners  With our second round pick, the Philadelphia Eagles select MEGATRON  ... ... ... ... ... ... We were just informed that we are not allowed to draft a robot. Fine, I guess we will take this dude instead 
Mel Mudkiper fucked around with this message at 19:15 on Apr 28, 2014 |
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Apr 28, 2014 19:07
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 23:19 |
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With the 38th pick, Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Oakland city select Dick Butkus, MLB 
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Apr 28, 2014 22:03
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