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King of Internet
Nov 16, 2013

High King Internet of Internet


THESE KALE CHIPS ARE SO GOOD FOR MY BABY

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Maoist Pussy
Feb 11, 2014



WHAT'S THAT YOU ARE SNORTING?

mrwuss
Nov 24, 2006


dont have kids if your break at work is spent in a designated room

hth

open container
Sep 15, 2008



*opens can of sardines*

Putty
Mar 21, 2013



there are no breakrooms at dennys

Konar
Dec 14, 2006


*microwaves popcorn*

Konar
Dec 14, 2006


WHATS FOR LUNCH TODAY GUYS DO YOU WATCH HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER

signalnoise
Mar 7, 2008



Are you going to the office party later today during the part of your shift that requires you to be at your cube?

Crewmine
Apr 26, 2012


SIR THIS IS A RESTRICTED AREA SIR EXCUSE ME

NurhacisUrn
Jul 18, 2013

All I can think about is your wife and a horse.
We are working on some SERIOUS SHIT in here.

47 Year Old Woman: Oh, my, GAWWD the new Twilight comes out. I have taken tomorrow off to see it at Midnight tonight. I am going to need it after I see both Jacob and Edward. The things those MEN do to me I can't describe!
38 Year Old Woman: I ain't seen that, but have you ever watched this Big Bang Theory? It's about a bunch of geeks doing stupid stuff!

24 Year Old Man: I'm just going to leave a months worth of Chinese food in the fridge here for at least two weeks, hope no one minds.

Personally,

Why the gently caress do I always get the last cup of coffee? Now I have to spend the next break making sure this coffee maker replenishes and doesn't explode all over the cabinet.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT. NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY. NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?


*gorges on three Subway Subs. Farts repeatedly, clears room*

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003

Shitpost Extraordinaire Conquistador & Preeminent Good Frogger Scumlord Tacobueno Present:

*complains endlessly about the smell of other peoples food*

yeah cool some of it smells funky , we get it

Jonny 290
May 5, 2005

[A]sk me about OS/2 WARP


Naw, declined that raise. Turns out it'd put me in a higher tax bracket and I'd end up taking less home.


Thanks, Obama

xov
Nov 14, 2005

DNA Ts. Rednum or F. Raf


Oh, so you are the person who overcooked a $0.50 beef pot pie or something full of chemicals and MSG at 8am this morning confusing my nose. gently caress you.

Don Tacorleone
Apr 2, 2013


You HAVEN'T tried cross fit? Oh- Em-Gee, you have GOT to come with me tonight to class, I'm about to break my PR in the WOD 14, just need to improve my AMRAP in my GHD sit-ups! I'll pay for your first class!

pixelbaron
Mar 18, 2009



i'm sitting down right next to you to eat this microwaved popcorn with my mouth open so you and everyone in the room can get a whiff of my popcorn breath

Ema Nymton
Apr 26, 2008

the place where I come from
is a small town


We're too proper and important to eat at our desks like the rest of you peons! Nyar-har!

pixelbaron
Mar 18, 2009



now i warmed up a cup of noodles and am shoveling and slurping it into my mouth loudly while smacking my lips

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003

Shitpost Extraordinaire Conquistador & Preeminent Good Frogger Scumlord Tacobueno Present:

Don Tacorleone posted:

You HAVEN'T tried cross fit? Oh- Em-Gee, you have GOT to come with me tonight to class, I'm about to break my PR in the WOD 14, just need to improve my AMRAP in my GHD sit-ups! I'll pay for your first class!

Sounds like a nice person that cares for u

Konar
Dec 14, 2006


i have some quinoa, kale, and orza in a seasame ginger sauce we made for dinner last night

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT. NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY. NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?


*entire office is on diets*


I brought Doughnuts!

Parallax Scroll
Nov 13, 2009

spiderman

*30 consecutive minutes of loud phone conversation with boyfriend*

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT. NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY. NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?


*Opens "50 Shades of Grey" begins reading and moaning quietly.*

Edgar
Sep 9, 2005



Whistles for 30 minutes.

King of Internet
Nov 16, 2013

High King Internet of Internet


VendaGoat posted:

*entire office is on diets*


I brought Doughnuts!

That's me sorry

Fartington Butts
Jan 21, 2007



Shrimp in a microwave.

Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011


These girl scout cookies are free right?

*gorges on thin mints*

Parallax Scroll
Nov 13, 2009

spiderman

*comes in and asks you a bunch of work related questions*

Cucking Mama
Sep 27, 2013

Gold Medalist, 2014 shit post olympics


I feel sorry for anybody who ever has to perform work for money like some kind of prostitute

Konar
Dec 14, 2006


oh yeah im using both microwaves sorry

Cucking Mama
Sep 27, 2013

Gold Medalist, 2014 shit post olympics


if you don't have the wherewithal to be your own boss then you might as well lay your head down under a car's tire and hope the person driving it doesn't notice/care

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003

Shitpost Extraordinaire Conquistador & Preeminent Good Frogger Scumlord Tacobueno Present:

*WHO THE gently caress IS MICROWAVING FISH AGAIN YOU KNOW ITS THE ONLY RULE I HAVE JESUS gently caress*

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT. NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY. NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?


King of Internet posted:

That's me sorry

*is the sassy office lady*

We'll forgive you, this time.

*unhinges jaw, swallows box whole.*

Cucking Mama
Sep 27, 2013

Gold Medalist, 2014 shit post olympics


you guys sit around in a designated holding pen for your breaks, which is an amount of time allotted by some sadsack who makes a little more dough than you. that's gotta be a riot

Parallax Scroll
Nov 13, 2009

spiderman

*watches youtube video on portable device, turns it up loud enough for everyone to hear*

ambient robot
Apr 23, 2014


*bites into sandwich*

what is this? pepperoni???

*takes mashed up meat out of mouth and holds it up for all to see*

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT. NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY. NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?


"aw my dog's are barking"

*takes shoes off and unleashes Cthulhu*

Fetus Tree
Feb 2, 2003

Shitpost Extraordinaire Conquistador & Preeminent Good Frogger Scumlord Tacobueno Present:

cuckold cleanup posted:

you guys sit around in a designated holding pen for your breaks, which is an amount of time allotted by some sadsack who makes a little more dough than you. that's gotta be a riot

Yeah having a job can be funny like that

Kali11324
Dec 8, 2004

This space intentionally left blank

"This place sucks. Bitch, bitch, bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch Bitch. Bitch." All day, everyday.

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Athropos
May 4, 2004



*talks very loudly in an inconsiderate manner*

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