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Lots of questions coming up, but first, a quick google search showed me some very nice engagement ring sets on this site for less than 2k. http://www.myjewelrybox.com/sc-engagement-rings_76/ Now, onto the advice/questions portion of this post: OP, I would have a real, sit-down, heart-to-heart talk with your girlfriend over the state of your finances, and her expectations. Can you reach a compromise along the lines of "Let's get this ring set for $X that I have saved already right now, and we can do a nice upgrade once my student loans are paid off or paid down to $Y." Have you talked about other large-ticket items that young couples usually want? Buying a house, a car, having kids? Will she continue to work if you become parents? Will she have student loans that will add to the debt? If so, how much, and what are your plans for paying it? I would stop putting money in your emergency account right now, or drop the monthly contribution down until some of your debts are gone. Have you tried running the numbers on a debt snowball for all of your loans? Some of those balances are pretty low, and could be paid off within a few months if you chose. Which might come in handy for this part: Are the monthly payment amounts in your post interest-only payments, or the actual amounts you will pay when they are out of deferment? How much longer will they be deferred? And if the payments will change at that point, what will they go up to? You're off to a good start, in a way, you've shown that you can save money, which is a HUGE thing. I think that as long as you can get your girlfriend on board (REALLY on board, not just saying "sure we can stick to the budget, as long as you buy me this shiny thing"), you'll do fine.
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May 5, 2014 20:09
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I'm engaged and also broke. Can you spot the difference between these two rings?  The primary difference is $4930.00. And I can put whatever stones I want in the first ring. None of which are going to be diamonds that people are being killed to mine. Your fiancee is going to be a MSW. Does she even know what the average pay rate is for social workers? Google says: Social workers who specialize in children and family welfare made a median salary of $41,530 in 2012, according to the BLS. The best-paid 10 percent in the field earned $71,000, while the lowest-paid made approximately $26,720. If she even lands a job after graduation, she's going to start at under $30k and will not likely ever make more than $40k. You guys need to have a discussion on finances yesterday and get on the same page about this poo poo. Frivolities like blood diamonds should be off the table. You don't really think she's going to cave on a cheap wedding after you drop 5k on a rock, do you?
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May 8, 2014 12:39
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martyrdumb posted:I'm engaged and also broke. Can you spot the difference between these two rings? That's a pretty bleak outlook for her career. She will likely never approach the median salary, ever? Sure, it's possible, but unlikely. Also, are those figures you quoted for Colorado, where they live, or national averages? How do people end up making more money in Social Work? Talent, seniority, shrewd negotiations? I think you are assuming a great deal there. I agree that a very expensive ring probably should not be OP's priority right now. But, I don't think it's fair, and it's kind of sexist to assume that his GF is going to insist on a big wedding. Obviously, they need to get on the same page, but I don't think OP is being indignant enough such an aggressive tone.
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May 8, 2014 13:47
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martyrdumb posted:
You don't have to patronize the dude and his fiance about the ethics of diamonds. There are ethical retailers out there (e.g. Brilliant Earth) where they can get a decent ring with a quality stone for $1500-$2500 instead of $5k. Granted you're not getting a 1 carat rock for that price but whatever. vvv Absolutely. LogisticEarth fucked around with this message at 15:43 on May 8, 2014 |
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May 8, 2014 14:27
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Blood Diamonds
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The ring is not the real problem here. It's just one hell of a red flag. If you don't get on the same page about finances you'll be miserable, I guarantee it.
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May 8, 2014 14:48
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LogisticEarth posted:You don't have to patronize the dude and his fiance about the ethics of diamonds.
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May 8, 2014 16:25
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antiga posted:The ring is not the real problem here. It's just one hell of a red flag. If you don't get on the same page about finances you'll be miserable, I guarantee it. This, exactly. The point would remain the same if she wanted a $5000 sapphire or some other non-controversial gemstone, or even if it wasn't about the ring - maybe she wants her dream Vera Wang gown. The point is, as a young couple, you're already starting behind the 8-ball - OP has some good saving habits, but his student loan debt alone is crushing. What happens when hers is added? And as I asked earlier, what about other young-couple-just-starting-out expenses? OP, please come back.
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May 8, 2014 16:36
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Nocheez posted:I got a quote of around $16/month. The ring has a lifetime warranty from the local jeweler it was purchased from, so all my wife has to do is not lose it. If she does, we'll buy a replacement moissanite ring. She's cool with that. My Ring insurance is $40/year for my wife's ring. So shop around OP if you do insure it. Edit: Also, I bought from a local jeweler so there was a definite markup, but I can trade in my wife's diamond for full real value to get a bigger/better one if she wants one. I'm guessing lots of jewelers do this, and could be an option so you have more cash/less debt as you're starting out together. last laugh fucked around with this message at 23:31 on May 8, 2014 |
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May 8, 2014 23:28
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April posted:OP, please come back. He played the game of loans, and didn't win.
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May 9, 2014 00:27
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canyoneer posted:He played the game of loans, and didn't win. Classic America
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May 26, 2014 18:00
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Dang, this was shaping up to be an interesting thread before I saw the last post date.  alwayslost, if you're still around: I think what people are bristling at is the way you're arriving at these expenditures. The idea of a $5,000 ring or a $2,500 wedding seems arbitrary. It's one thing if your girlfriend fell in love with a particular ring or jewelry designer, or if she really does find a simple wedding romantic. There's nothing wrong with that. But I don't get that impression from your posts. You can look at a big expense in two ways: either you figure out what you want and what it costs, and save for it; or you figure out what you can afford and adjust your expectations. Arguably you should be doing the latter because you're in boatloads of debt, but if the ring means that much to you two, you need to understand what you both really want. (Who knows; maybe her dream engagement ring costs half as much, but your wedding plans will be much more.) Even then, you should only put towards savings what you can really afford to save. $250/mo would go a long way somewhere else in your budget. Kudos to you, though, on resisting the temptation to finance the whole thing, which would be a terrible idea. IMO your priorities should be Emergency Savings > Debt > Retirement > Wedding/Ring Savings. Your fixed expenses (including interest, not including cutting back) are around $3k a month. Typically the recommendation is a 6-month emergency fund ($18k), but if your job was really, really in demand maybe 3 months ($9k) would be easier to handle. An emergency fund is important because card card debt would sink you. After that, paying off the highest interest student loans is going to have a better return than your 401k (after you claim any matching). Then you should look at a reasonable retirement contribution, and only then save up for things you want. Cuddlebottom fucked around with this message at 18:13 on Jun 1, 2014 |
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Jun 1, 2014 14:51
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How did the last three months go? Did you lose the game of loans?
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Jul 26, 2014 06:10
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Reduce cost. Drop the fiance.
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Jul 26, 2014 21:11
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Velochis posted:Alternatively, you could get a fully man made diamond that can be stunning for 1/5 the cost of traditional stuff. This is wrong, the artificial diamonds are only slightly cheaper than the natural kind. Source: I bought an engagement ring last month.
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Jul 27, 2014 02:45
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Evil Robot posted:This is wrong, the artificial diamonds are only slightly cheaper than the natural kind. Source: I bought an engagement ring last month. Dud might be talking about "synthetic diamonds" or whatever. Which cost 1/5 the amount of a real diamond but are sold at like 1000% of their real value given that they're just glorified quartz or something.
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Jul 29, 2014 17:51
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Well I guess he died? Or is he in debtors jail?
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Aug 6, 2014 03:58
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