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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Tomorrow I will get drunk for the first time in my life
 
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Mans
Sep 14, 2011

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

SnowblindFatal posted:

Haha, I only blew 1 though he cuouldn't get it up so it was kinda awkward :(.


SnowblindFatal posted:

I'm 16.
* # ¿ May 2, 2014 03:50
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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 09:19
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Mans
Sep 14, 2011

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

SnowblindFatal posted:

Oh gently caress! >:(
People started leaving and I was still awake with Josh and we were drinking leftover sparkling wine while others were asleep. Just when it was about to get romantic I had the sudden urge to vomit. I had to do it into the kitchen sink since someone was passed out in the bathroom. Immediately I felt woozy and went to the couch to lay down with my hair still a bit wet from the vomit. The room was spinning and I couldn't really move. Josh was with me but when he saw me in the helpless state, that loving rear end in a top hat started sticking his hand into my pants and abusing me. I tried tell him to stop but I was too drunk or something I guess. What a way to lose my virginity. :sigh:

Anyway once he was done he left and at some point I finally passed out. A few hours later I woke up with my heart racing and mind still going through as to what happened. My first instinct was to call the cops but gently caress, that was a mistake. The officer didn't believe my story and he took me to the station and I had to spend the night in jail. Yesterday my parents came to pick me up and they just said I was going to be grounded for at least 2 months and that at this rate I might have to go to a foster home soon. Probably bullshit but who the gently caress knows.

On top of this, my friends don't want to talk to me since a lot of them got busted for drinking when I called the cops. I'm pretty much all alone here. What the gently caress should I do?
yeah you might be joking but this actually happens all the time to 16 year old dumb kids so excuse me if i looked like a taliban for not liking it

* # ¿ May 3, 2014 03:10
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Mans
Sep 14, 2011

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

jackyl posted:

plz don't literally shake

i'm pointing it out, a little koran would help against teenage sexual abuse

* # ¿ May 3, 2014 04:23
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Mans
Sep 14, 2011

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
post pic with Josh's dick in mouth or ban

* # ¿ May 5, 2014 04:52
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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Tomorrow I will get drunk for the first time in my life