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Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT
How about no sex crimes, I vote for no sex crimes.

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sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

Rap posted:

Russell Wilson for divorcing his wife immediately after winning the Super Bowl
C'mon now, what's the alternative? Cheating on her?

He isn't a douche for no longer being in love with a woman. He did the right thing at the right time. If I were in his shoes... well, my feet would be cramped, but I can't blame him because I don't know his life.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Detroit_Dogg posted:

How about no sex crimes, I vote for no sex crimes.

The contest is literally named after sex crimes.


Rap posted:

Russell Wilson for divorcing his wife immediately after winning the Super Bowl

Seconded

Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT

Chichevache posted:

The contest is literally named after sex crimes.

And I said in the first year it was run that sex crimes should be off the list, also pedophilia is already off the list so it's not that hard of a stretch.

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

Detroit_Dogg posted:

And I said in the first year it was run that sex crimes should be off the list, also pedophilia is already off the list so it's not that hard of a stretch.
I'd say it'd be a bigger stretch going from sex crimes to pedophilia

Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT
Basically if the reason you're being considered sounds like a plot to a Law and Order SVU episode I think it crosses over the douche line.

Regnevelc
Jan 12, 2003

I'M A GROWN ASS MAN!

Detroit_Dogg posted:

Basically if the reason you're being considered sounds like a plot to a Law and Order SVU episode I think it crosses over the douche line.

:doink:

SlipUp
Sep 30, 2006


stayin c o o l
how about we just vote how we feel and let that decide rather then haphazardly slapping some rules together so people vote ~the right way~

Rasczak
Mar 30, 2005

I nominate everybody on page 2 for raping my eyeballs

Cash Monet
Apr 5, 2009

I'd just rather we didn't discuss cases that are incredibly depressing and/or disturbing.

Guys like Darren Sharper aren't any less douchey/awful human beings even if they aren't subject to our Internet Justice.

Manoueverable
Oct 23, 2010

Dubs Loves Wubs
Personally, I don't really have any strong opinions either way, I just find it amusing that every time someone says something along the lines of "Let's do X to prevent endless amounts of arguing" it triggers endless amounts of arguing :shobon:

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

My last post wasn't so much a continuation of the argument as it was disgusting joke

Gerund
Sep 12, 2007

He push a man


Theres a reason that the Fulmer cup died with a whimper. I realize that people want to be all hard in the name of INTERNET JUSTICE but no one wants to keep guys currently facing major criminal charges on the board.

Winston? Mike Emmert? Richie Incognito? In.

Rice, Hernandez and Sharper? Out.

Ben Has Tiny Weenus
Feb 17, 2007
MSU Will Not Be National Champions

So I really should learn to shut the hole under my nose.
I am just going to make this call now: If they are currently facing charges or in jail, it is a no go. I'll edit the OP to reflect this.

There, now it's all about fun and internet justice reaching places where the law can't.

Gerund
Sep 12, 2007

He push a man


I nominate Jeff Fisher

Former USC Trojan. Runs a dirty/hard-hitting team while also having a hand in the competition committee making rules for 'player safety'.

Also was enough of a whiny douche to get Bernie Kosar canned from announcing while also casting aspersions on his character:

quote:

"Bernie's got his issues; they're well documented," Fisher said. "Kellen played well, he played hard, he made plays."

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008
Mark Emmert for thinking that labor doesn't deserve to be compensated for their work.

Ol' Burt Bielema for thinking that B1g T3n F00tb4ll is that way the whole nation should play.

Tyler Bray on account of being Tyler Bray.

Jameis Winston under the Roethlisberger rule.

swickles
Aug 21, 2006

I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just some QB that I used to know

Ben Has Tiny Weenus posted:

I am just going to make this call now: If they are currently facing charges or in jail, it is a no go. I'll edit the OP to reflect this.

There, now it's all about fun and internet justice reaching places where the law can't.

Are we talking all charges or just those that are heinous. I would hate to have seen someone like Harvey Updyke excluded based on that rule (not that he is eligible this year, just as an example).

Ben Has Tiny Weenus
Feb 17, 2007
MSU Will Not Be National Champions

So I really should learn to shut the hole under my nose.

swickles posted:

Are we talking all charges or just those that are heinous. I would hate to have seen someone like Harvey Updyke excluded based on that rule (not that he is eligible this year, just as an example).

Heinous ones only. I think people can tell the difference, but if there is legitimate confusion, I'll make a call.

Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

I found my kendo stick, bitch!

Lipstick Apathy

C. Everett Koop posted:

Jameis Winston under the Roethlisberger rule.

Also just for flat out being a huge loving dipshit and stealing crab legs from a Publix.

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

sweet thursday posted:

C'mon now, what's the alternative? Cheating on her?

He isn't a douche for no longer being in love with a woman. He did the right thing at the right time. If I were in his shoes... well, my feet would be cramped, but I can't blame him because I don't know his life.

Im using irony and jokes at a level well beyond your understanding, lil jueves

wtftastic
Jul 24, 2006

"In private, we will be mercifully free from the opinions of imbeciles and fools."

Rap posted:

Im using irony and jokes at a level well beyond your understanding, lil jueves

In which case I will nominate COLIN KAEPERNICK for being a bad leader and wearing his hat backwards, which as we all know is a cardinal sin.

Lee Harvey Oswald
Mar 17, 2007

by exmarx
John Elway

-highly punchable face
-douchebag Republican
-thought he was too good to play for the Colts
-gets a raise for lucking into signing Peytong Manning despite the rest of the team being poo poo

Also, Mr. Silver Spoon

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/02/02/john-elway-to-fox-news-im-republican-because-i-dont-believe-in-safety-nets/

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

Rap posted:

Im using irony and jokes at a level well beyond your understanding, lil jueves

Go sleep on a butt pillow >:[

Robot_Rumpus
Apr 4, 2004

sweet thursday posted:

C'mon now, what's the alternative? Cheating on her?

He isn't a douche for no longer being in love with a woman. He did the right thing at the right time. If I were in his shoes... well, my feet would be cramped, but I can't blame him because I don't know his life.

Apparently she cheated on him with Tate.

Elotana
Dec 12, 2003

and i'm putting it all on the goddamn expense account
Nolan Nawrocki for his unique brand of "scouting" which is 40% terrible armchair psychoanalysis, 40% smokescreening, and 20% race-baiting.

Ben Has Tiny Weenus
Feb 17, 2007
MSU Will Not Be National Champions

So I really should learn to shut the hole under my nose.
I am working on getting the first standings update up, and I have a question for those more familiar with it: In the case of Ray Rice, is he an actual woman beater or are he and his wife that couple who can't stop fighting to the point where the cops get involved? Looking at the news (because I don't know better), if it is option two I'll allow it, otherwise I am sticking to the Roethlisberger rule.

korrandark
Jan 5, 2009

Ben Has Tiny Weenus posted:

I am working on getting the first standings update up, and I have a question for those more familiar with it: In the case of Ray Rice, is he an actual woman beater or are he and his wife that couple who can't stop fighting to the point where the cops get involved? Looking at the news (because I don't know better), if it is option two I'll allow it, otherwise I am sticking to the Roethlisberger rule.

Here is a video of him dragging his fiance out of an elevator after he knocked her out.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.
Nominating Rob Gronkowski because he's a douche yet totally harmless at the same time. The perfect milquetoast option for those of you who don't want to vote for Ray Rice.

Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT
It should be noted that his wife totally started it.











His wife probably did not start it.

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?
My wife and I just couldn't stop arguing to the point that she fell down and got bruises

Sataere
Jul 20, 2005


Step 1: Start fight
Step 2: Attack straw man
Step 3: REPEAT

Do not engage with me



Detroit_Dogg posted:

It should be noted that his wife totally started it.











His wife probably did not start it.

I've told her repeatedly that I don't like it when you eat off my plate. I won't be held responsible for what happens if you do.

Ben Has Tiny Weenus
Feb 17, 2007
MSU Will Not Be National Champions

So I really should learn to shut the hole under my nose.
I have decided that due to allowing domestic violence people into the tournament in the past as well as the fact that all signs point to him not receiving any jail time, I will allow Ray Rice into the tournament.

That said, here are the current standings:

Standings

Players

Ray Rice: 5
Richie Incognito: 2
Aldon Smith: 1
Jameis Winston: 3
AJ McCarron: 1
Taylor Lewan: 1
Arian Foster: 1
Russell Wilson: 2


Administrators

Roger Goodell: 3
Mark Emmert: 3
Bret Bielma: 3
Greg Schiano: 1
Mike Tomlin: 1
Mike Shanahan: 1
Skip Bayless: 1
Nick Saban: 1

Media

Colin Cowherd: 1
Merril Hoge: 2
Skip Bayless: 1
Pete Prisco: 1
Jamele Hill: 1
Nolan Nawrocki: 1

Wildcard

12th Man: 4
Tallahassee PD: 1

Outside Looking In (Will fill out wildcard bracket if spots are open)

Bobby Petrino: 1
Jeff Ireland: 1
Jeff Fisher: 1
Tyler Bray: 1
Colin Kaepernick: 1
John Elway: 1
Rob Gronkowski: 1


Lifetime Noms

Roger Goodell
Skip Bayless
Bobby Petrino


Keep in mind that you can have as many nominations as you want.

Sataere
Jul 20, 2005


Step 1: Start fight
Step 2: Attack straw man
Step 3: REPEAT

Do not engage with me



Just to be safe, I will throw my support to both Greg Schiano and Mark Emmert.

With Schiano, the way he just completely took a poo poo on the entire Tampa Bay organization and gave off the impression that they should be thankful for the magnificent dump he was giving them, as if he were doing it the right way and everyone else were the assholes, makes him a worthy candidate for the coveted Douche of the Year award.

However, I find Mark Emmert even more despicable. At least Schiano is honest about his jag-assery. Mark Emmert actually had the audacity to say that if he were a college student, he would not accept any money, even if it were offered him. This asshat is cashing in fat checks from the NCAA while student-athletes struggle to keep themselves fed after working ridiculous hours for the benefit of the school. All so Mark Emmert can pontificate about the merits of a corrupt system that only benefits a select few of which he is a part of. In short, I hope he dies a horrible, screaming death of syphilis.

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?
Second for Bret Bielema

Rasczak
Mar 30, 2005

Ben Has Tiny Weenus posted:

I have decided that due to allowing domestic violence people into the tournament in the past as well as the fact that all signs point to him not receiving any jail time, I will allow Ray Rice into the tournament.

That said, here are the current standings:

Standings

Outside Looking In (Will fill out wildcard bracket if spots are open)

Jeff Ireland: 1

I hope your mother has never been this disappointed in you :colbert:

Shangri-Law School
Feb 19, 2013

Seconding Greg Schiano, as his incompetence in letting Michael Bennett walk and blowing a 21-0 lead contributed to the 12th Man enjoying a Super Bowl victory.

Ben Has Tiny Weenus
Feb 17, 2007
MSU Will Not Be National Champions

So I really should learn to shut the hole under my nose.

Rasczak posted:

I hope your mother has never been this disappointed in you :colbert:

He more than likely gets in at this point. He can be top 8 in admins, fill out the wildcard, or if he is tied for a final spot, I might put him in if his writeup is better. At this point he just needs one more vote and he has a week to get it.

Lee Harvey Oswald
Mar 17, 2007

by exmarx
Can I amend my Elway nomination for a lifetime slot rather than the regular tourney?

Also, Lane Kiffin for runining two prestigious football programs and falling into yet another cushy job.

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

Also seconding Hog Sooie Bielema

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DJExile
Jun 28, 2007


Colin Cowherd - For basically being Colin Cowherd. If you want something specific, take his race-baiting on John Wall.

Phil Mushnick - For saying Donald Sterling was lynched, blaming AP for the death of his son, and everything he wrote about DeSean Jackson. If there's more of a racist pearl-clutcher than him, I'm not sure who it is.

Bret Bielema - For reasons already mentioned.

Mark Emmert - I have to sort of respect how far he is throwing himself behind his bullshit positions. The guy has to be a true believer.

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