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california roll
Feb 23, 2009


or is ther sometimes a shank off

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big duck equals goose
Nov 7, 2006

FUCK NOOBS


sorry guys, the reason this thread exists is because i lagged in the prison yard.

mookface
Jun 7, 2009

Diane! I'm holding in my hand a box of small chocolate bunnies.


shanks are usually crude and you don't carry it around unless you're about to do some shanking so I think it's usually one way shank action

The Droid
Jun 11, 2012



sometimes they make a big show of it

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012


Shanks are for stupid people what you do is cut you fingernails into claws, dip them in poo poo and claw the fuc out of someone's face.

ScratchAndSniff
Sep 28, 2008


stealth kills are cheap its honorable to always bow before a prison fight

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Hailing frequencies

I would, but I also would have announced who was dying a few days before as well.

D3r41l3d
Apr 10, 2014


ScratchAndSniff posted:

stealth kills are cheap its honorable to always bow before a prison fight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zysjJilj5A

D3r41l3d fucked around with this message at May 4, 2014 around 06:02

Monstrous Dooklord
Oct 26, 2007
I am a shit stain on the face of humanity, I have no compassion, only hatred, bile and lust.

PROUD SHIT STAIN

only if they got wicked rear end night vision and their name rhymes with kidprick

blacquethoven
Nov 29, 2003


I wonder if a guy was about to shank someone but right as he was walking up on him he farted real loud and had to just keep on walking I bet when he got back all the skinheads had a big ol laugh about it and now hes got a tattoo that says beans in gothic lettering across his forehead

mookface
Jun 7, 2009

Diane! I'm holding in my hand a box of small chocolate bunnies.


blacquethoven posted:

I wonder if a guy was about to shank someone but right as he was walking up on him he farted real loud and had to just keep on walking I bet when he got back all the skinheads had a big ol laugh about it and now hes got a tattoo that says beans in gothic lettering across his forehead

haha yeah. sup beans

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...

I learned everything there is to know about stealth kills from playing Manhunt.


Thanks, Rockstar games.

i am he
Feb 4, 2014



i hope you get stealth shanked op

icantfindaname
Jul 1, 2008



i read the title as "dog prisoners always go for stealth kills with their shanks" which in my opinion is a much better topic

i am he
Feb 4, 2014



icantfindaname posted:

i read the title as "dog prisoners always go for stealth kills with their shanks" which in my opinion is a much better topic

Gutcruncher
Apr 16, 2005

Go home and be a family man!


If I were already doing life without parole I guess I wouldnt bother with stealth. Then again if Im doing a night in the drunk tank I would commit my stabbings very much on the downlow

Rapman the Cook
Aug 24, 2013



Real criminals spend years slowly sharpening their penis.

Christmas Present
Jul 25, 2003

HO! HO! HO! MERRY PECSMAS!

it's hard to kill a shark quietly imo

AbbadonOfHell
Jul 16, 2004
You know I would try to think of something funny to put here but ill just pass on that and threaten people with a + 2 board with a nail in it.

Sometimes they smuggle .22 rounds in to prison via their butt and make zip guns out of a pipe, rubberband and a nail. The cool ones do anyway.

Parallax Scroll
Nov 13, 2009

spiderman

i smuggle in my deadly ninjutsu

pixelbaron
Mar 18, 2009



no they are always hollerin "die pussy bitch nigga gently caress you gently caress you die you gently caress rear end bitch" as they stab

jalopybrown
Oct 11, 2012


does sharpening glasses legs ala oz really work?

Liar
Dec 14, 2003

Smarts > Wisdom


Gaunab posted:

Shanks are for stupid people what you do is cut you fingernails into claws, dip them in poo poo and claw the fuc out of someone's face.

I had heard the way to do it was to make a ball of glass broken into tiny pieces and poo poo and then lop it at someone's face, this way when their natural instinct kicks in to wipe it off they end up carving their face while getting an infection.

you irl
Jan 22, 2014


Liar posted:

I had heard the way to do it was to make a ball of glass broken into tiny pieces and poo poo and then lop it at someone's face, this way when their natural instinct kicks in to wipe it off they end up carving their face while getting an infection.

this is how my last dinner party ended

Six-Of-Hearts
Mar 17, 2009

"I want to break your heart,
and give you mine."


you irl posted:

this is how my last dinner party ended

and the after party started!

crusader_complex
Jun 4, 2012


"haha you and you friends may be brutally kneedropping my skull over my botched attempt to kill you, but you just wait until those cuts on your face get infected..."

I am Toni Lippi
Aug 16, 2004


I heard there was a guy in prison who put poo poo up his rear end with fine cut glass mixed in. Then he'd have sex with someone the other guy would get infections from the micro cuts on his dick and die. They called him Buck Widow.

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011



shut up that's a chuck palahniuk story

Gutcruncher
Apr 16, 2005

Go home and be a family man!


I am Toni Lippi posted:

I heard there was a guy in prison who put poo poo up his rear end with fine cut glass mixed in. Then he'd have sex with someone the other guy would get infections from the micro cuts on his dick and die. They called him Buck Widow.

What about the micro butt cuts? Im not sure how legit this tales is.

you irl
Jan 22, 2014


Gutcruncher posted:

What about the micro butt cuts? Im not sure how legit this tales is.

you cant get sick from your own poop dummy

Toadvine
Mar 16, 2009


you irl posted:

you cant get sick from your own poop dummy

That is highly false

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...

you irl posted:

you cant get sick from your own poop dummy

You can if you get shanked in the belly.

Bukowski
Dec 28, 2009

hammulder


nomadologique posted:

shut up that's a chuck palahniuk story

No dumbass that's from the James Orin Incandeza film "Accomplice!"

you irl
Jan 22, 2014


Toadvine posted:

That is highly false

if your vegan its true, theres a guy in portland who eats only his own feces, hes never been to the hospital

NObodiesGeek
Jun 14, 2003
I'm not shy, I just hate you.

I hear people in jail can be killed by bunga bunga. Are we calling this death by stabbing?

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gannyGrabber
May 8, 2012

Curses are the crutches of inarticulate motherfuckers.


I always call Drebin for all my stealth prison shank needs

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