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 The Cultural Ministry of the USSR extends its firmest regards to the oppressed workers and peasants of Western Germany. With the perfidy of Washington revealed, it is hoped that they will realize where their true sympathies must lie. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_o9HkYCtQs (Pavel, start up the presses! This is going to be a big one...)
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May 23, 2014 02:51
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 08:19 |
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The VP counter seems off, why is the US leading?
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May 23, 2014 02:58
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We played Asia scoring right at the end there.
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May 23, 2014 02:59
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Hello America, and welcome to the Bagel News Wagon. I'm your host, Samuel Romero. Our top story tonight is on the growing tensions between the US and the USSR, which some are beginning to refer to as a "Cold War" due to the lack of actual fighting between the countries. A Soviet blockade around Berlin, Germany now prevents aid from America or any of it's allies. Only time will tell how this blatant attack on freedom and democracy will change the field of battle between the two countries. In other news, North Korean Dictator Kim Il-Sung continues to deny allegations that is a Chinese spy that eats babies.
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May 23, 2014 03:38
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A copy of a pamphlet found throughout Western Germany, and especially in West Berlin 
sniper4625 fucked around with this message at 18:29 on May 23, 2014 |
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May 23, 2014 04:13
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C'mon, no more reactions to losing West Germany? Maybe this'll get things going.
sniper4625 fucked around with this message at 18:31 on May 23, 2014 |
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May 23, 2014 18:29
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Q: How many Persians, Panamanians, and Poles does it take to staff the governing bodies of Iran, Panama and Poland? A: Zero. They are all staffed by Soviets. Maybe I can try my hand at being a "Radio Free EastBloc" journalist or something. Davin Valkri fucked around with this message at 18:40 on May 23, 2014 |
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May 23, 2014 18:34
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Davin Valkri posted:Q: How many Persians, Panamanians, and Poles does it take to staff the governing bodies of Iran, Panama and Poland? REVISIONIST! (I wasn't sure if the first joke was pro or anti-Soviet, but now I do  )
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May 23, 2014 18:41
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The propaganda minister told the RFEB man, "You should not revise your jokes so often!" The RFEB man told the propaganda minister, "Why not? You revise the truth all the time." sniper4625 posted:
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May 23, 2014 18:47
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Davin Valkri posted:The propaganda minister told the RFEB man, "You should not revise your jokes so often!" Hahaha, hoisted upon my own petard. Glad to see Team Freedom has a few people willing to speak up.
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May 23, 2014 18:52
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A farmer and a businessman are riding on a train. The businessman looks over and sees the other is reading a copy of Pravda. "Soviet news?!" he shouts, in shock. "Don't you know how unreliable that stuff is? They change their opinions every single day!" "So what would you recommend instead?" the farmer asks. "Go pick up a copy of the New York Times!" the businessman declares. "They're so reliable, their worldview hasn't changed since the mid-19th century!" Takanago fucked around with this message at 19:09 on May 23, 2014 |
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May 23, 2014 19:06
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On one hand, 5 points for the US in the part of the game where they need to try and not get stomped too much. On the other,  that was a nice Blockade; I think you need an average of 4 realignment rolls (and so 4 ops) to remove 5 influence from a country with equal modifiers (I haven't bothered with the math).
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May 23, 2014 19:09
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Who cares if West Germany is ambivalent? Who cares what the craven leftist commufascist media are saying?! In the eyes of history, WE ARE WINNING.
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May 23, 2014 19:13
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Omobono posted:On one hand, 5 points for the US in the part of the game where they need to try and not get stomped too much. It's also in Europe, so it's super uncommon to even have the option of Realigning. That Blockade blew things pretty wide open and since the US never put anything in Austria they don't even have access to West Germany. USSR is guaranteed Domination in Europe pretty much as long as they want it.
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May 23, 2014 19:17
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Fangz posted:Who cares if West Germany is ambivalent? Who cares what the craven leftist commufascist media are saying?! In the eyes of history, WE ARE WINNING.
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May 23, 2014 19:17
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If the people of Italy are truly concerned for their future, perhaps tying their fate to the capricious United States is a mistake...
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May 23, 2014 20:17
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I'm going to be very disappointed if this game ends in a Europe Control Victory, so hopefully NATO comes out fast on the reshuffle.
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May 23, 2014 20:50
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sniper4625 posted:If the people of Italy are truly concerned for their future, perhaps tying their fate to the capricious United States is a mistake... That's Spanish or Portuguese I think, you want this:  And we're a lone voice at the moment, it's kinda hard to extoll the virtues of glorious Communism when our fellow countrymen can't look beyond the tip of their nose and American cash. Searching for images I found this one too. Step on it journalists, you still can't top real life  The headline translates to "Eternal glory to the man who more than any other did for Humanity's freedom and progress" Before you ask, no, that's not a fake.
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May 23, 2014 20:51
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UberJew posted:It's also in Europe, so it's super uncommon to even have the option of Realigning. That Blockade blew things pretty wide open and since the US never put anything in Austria they don't even have access to West Germany. USSR is guaranteed Domination in Europe pretty much as long as they want it. I wouldn't go that far, actually. Remember the US can take Canada, Greece, the UK, Spain and Turkey for one influence each. They're certainly not ever going to dominate Europe themselves, but I think they can probably hold out by controlling more countries than the US. Of course, they do need either to play NATO or to play into France, or Brush War will end them.
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May 23, 2014 20:56
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Q: Is it true that there was a spontaneous rally in Rome with a hundred people carrying huge pictures of the Politburo and singing "Long live the USSR"? A: In principle yes, except that it was not a rally but a protest, and there were no huge pictures but hanged effigies, and instead of singing "long live the USSR" they said "down with the USSR!", and instead of a hundred people it was a hundred thousand... Davin Valkri fucked around with this message at 21:07 on May 23, 2014 |
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May 23, 2014 21:05
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Ah, Radio Erevan. I can never say "no" to a good Radio Erevan joke.
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May 23, 2014 22:00
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UberJew posted:It's also in Europe, so it's super uncommon to even have the option of Realigning. That Blockade blew things pretty wide open and since the US never put anything in Austria they don't even have access to West Germany. USSR is guaranteed Domination in Europe pretty much as long as they want it. Yeah, dumping those Marshall points to top off controlled W. Germany and Italy was excessive, and I'm not sure about Greece either with so many other good targets and insurances available.
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May 24, 2014 00:26
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May 25, 2014 17:54
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This is glorious As a little criticism, the US/Japan Mutal Defense Pact card was played by the US for operations, so the event hasn't triggered yet (unless that was  and it went over my head).
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May 25, 2014 18:03
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I enjoyed the Prisonbears of War pun, but I was let down at the lack of Right to Bear Arms/Right to Arm Bears.
Fat Turkey fucked around with this message at 19:27 on May 25, 2014 |
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May 25, 2014 19:24
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Fat Turkey posted:I enjoyed the Prisonbears of War pun, but I was let down at the lack of Right to Bear Arms/Right to Arm Bears. Maybe it was going to be for the follow up article?
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May 25, 2014 19:28
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I edited my first page link to include all the fan contributions so far. Good stuff on both sides! (Only the truth of Socialism will prevail!)
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May 25, 2014 21:22
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Tevery Best posted:I don't have 1989 and I don't know anyone who does, though. Bierut was such a friggin fuckwit. IIRC there were episodes where he killed considerable amounts of people, then blamed it on Rokovosky who couldnt do much against it because SMERSH (bastard child of the NKVD and an extra-dimensional alien void horror from beyond imagination) was "investigating" Rokosovsky and he couldnt look "feeble" in "dealing with polish counterrevolutionaries". While Rokosovsky was an ardent communist, parts of his family were iirc part of the Pilsudski army (Rokosovsky would have been a "noble" had his family not rebelled against the Czar to often and been stripped of their titles), and well, he had considerable amounts of redeeming features. Bierut did not.
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May 25, 2014 22:42
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A special announcement from the Ministry of Press, Information, and Culture of the USSR. While the next issue of Pravda is being generated, please enjoy these excerpts from forward thinking publications around the world. We begin in the United Kingdom.  The Daily Worker, London sniper4625 fucked around with this message at 23:40 on May 25, 2014 |
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May 25, 2014 23:38
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sniper4625 posted:
I would respond with excerpts from my journalist friends in the eastern bloc. Unfortunately, it seems as though I've mysteriously lost contact with them. We are the oak that bends, Yours is the oak that breaks.
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May 25, 2014 23:57
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unwantedplatypus posted:I would respond with excerpts from my journalist friends in the eastern bloc. The Ministry of Press, Information, and Culture would be happy to arrange interviews at your leisure. Or we could provide you with the front pages of the major papers from across the Eastern Bloc (though they all share pretty much the same message, mocking your American inaction.) On another note, as a sign of good will, we can also send along a pre-revolutionary copy of Aesop's Fables, as clearly your own has a rather major printing error. It is the reed that bends - how can an oak both bend and stand fast? If we are to resort to metaphors, the United States is a great bonfire, blazing brightly before inevitably extinguishing itself after it has exhausted its fuel. This can already been seen in the recent impotence of President Wanderer with regards to Germany! A bonfire must also be contained, that it does not destroy its surroundings - see the rapacious actions of the United States throughout the Southern Hemisphere around the world! The Soviet Union is an electric light. Illuminated in the great Revolution of 1917, we have shone steadily and brightly, and will continue to do so for many years to come. Not for nothing was it said: Comrade Vladmir Lenin posted:Communism is Soviet power plus the electrification of the whole country! sniper4625 fucked around with this message at 00:15 on May 26, 2014 |
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May 26, 2014 00:02
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sniper4625 posted:The Ministry of Press, Information, and Culture would be happy to arrange interviews at your leisure. Or we could provide you with the front pages of the major papers from across the Eastern Bloc (though they all share pretty much the same message, mocking your American inaction.) A bonfire? Do you not understand the mechanics of a bonfire? A bonfire only runs out of fuel if the freedom loving peoples for whom it provides warmth let it extinguish. A bonfire, at its core, requires only wood. Wood is renewable and accessible. Anybody can contribute to the great bonfire that is the United States of America and everybody may benefit from that great bonfire. A bonfire unites people to a common fight against the cold. An electric light, on the other hand, requires non-renewable resources. One day your mountains will be empty of coal and your whales extinct. Electricity is hoardable. One can benefit from electricity to the exclusion of others. The Soviet Union pillages other countries for their resources in order to fuel its own half-baked Industrial Revolution. This is a very capitalistic analogy of you. I would almost be impressed if I knew it wasn't due to gross incompetence. Pah, what reason have you to talk of stability? Your country has only existed for 4 decades!
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May 26, 2014 00:41
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unwantedplatypus posted:Pah, what reason have you to talk of stability? Your country has only existed for 4 decades! And yet the proletariat is eternal.
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May 26, 2014 00:51
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unwantedplatypus posted:A bonfire? Do you not understand the mechanics of a bonfire? A bonfire only runs out of fuel if the freedom loving peoples for whom it provides warmth let it extinguish. A bonfire, at its core, requires only wood. Wood is renewable and accessible. Anybody can contribute to the great bonfire that is the United States of America and everybody may benefit from that great bonfire. A bonfire unites people to a common fight against the cold. If I am understanding you correctly, the people of America are the fuel for the great bonfire at which the politicians and their capitalist masters warm their hands. What will you do when people are no longer willing to throw themselves into the flames? What will you do when the people reject fueling the flames of Capitalism in favor of flipping on the glorious switch of Socialism? It is true that the Soviet Union has only existed for four decades. But what have we done in that time? We have taken a nation of the proletariat from the trappings of obsolete feudalism to a Superpower! We not only resisted, but defeated the most terrible menace in world history! We have spread the glorious message of Socialism from Brest to Beijing, helping to usher in the next era of human society! Think not of the last four decades, tovarishchi kapitalisty, think of the next four! Think of the next four and tremble! unwantedplatypus posted:An electric light, on the other hand, requires non-renewable resources. Come to the Soviet Union, and I shall show you the glorious Volkhov Hydroelectric Station, drawing electricity from the very current of the river itself! Hardly a non-renewable resource, I'm sure you'll agree. sniper4625 fucked around with this message at 01:12 on May 26, 2014 |
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May 26, 2014 00:56
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sniper4625 posted:If I am understanding you correctly, the people of America are the fuel for the great bonfire at which the politicians and their capitalist masters warm their hands. What will you do when people are no longer willing to throw themselves into the flames? What will you do when the people reject fueling the flames of Capitalism in favor of flipping on the glorious switch of Socialism? Oh yes, the last four decades. Where untold numbers of people have been purged and starved in Stalin's Four Year Plans and thousands of peasants starve every month in Mao's Great Leap Forward. You talk of bonfire, yet every day sees you sacrifice common men to Communism. All you have gained for yourself is a throne of bayonets. You are Napoleon. You are Hitler. A flare, and then a sizzle. Capitalism has been the status quo for hundreds of years. The common man has both loved and hated it. Praised and cursed it. A man can be happy under Capitalism, or he could be miserable. Capitalism, however, always has the hope and possibility of improvement. Any man can rise up through the classes through hard work. Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you. ^^^^^ We have dams in America too, congratulations. Now I assume the Soviet Union will go coal free? unwantedplatypus fucked around with this message at 01:17 on May 26, 2014 |
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May 26, 2014 01:10
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I am glad the Western Imperialists finally have someone willing to speak up. I could quote Marx, I could quote Lenin (further!), but I shall refrain for now. Comrade UnwantedPlatypus, It is a dangerous thing to compare a man of the Soviet Union to the late unmourned dictator of the Germans. Perhaps if twenty million of your own kinsmen died throwing back the Fascist hordes, you would have a bit more perspective. Alas, all you do is trot out the line fed to your by your capitalist employers. Capitalism has been the status quo, yes! Monarchy was also the status quo for hundreds of years! Men both loved and hated it too, before political power shifted inexorably towards the people. Why is it unthinkable for economic power to make the same shift? As the concept of blood-based classes has given way to wealth-based classes, is it not the next step to strive towards no classes? (Spare me the "Soviet Union has no class" routine, I've gotten my fill from your nekulturny tabloids.) Is it not the next step for the proletariat to stop working for others, and begin working for itself? Power in the West still derives from lineage - the only difference now being what is passed down: wealth, not blood. Capitalism creates an aristocracy of its own, an aristocracy no more concerned with the proletariat than the feudal lords were concerned for their serfs. "Any man can rise up through the classes with hard work." Inspiring words, for one of your Horatio Alger works of fiction! Words not out of place on the lips of a Gilded Age taskmaster, speaking sweet nothings to placate his oppressed laborers. What ended that sordid age of oppression? Did the Capitalists suddenly change their practices out of the goodness of their hearts? NYET! The working classes organized to demand their share, to demand better treatment. Now we simply argue that they finish the job - that they should not be content with a few minor appeasements, but take full power into their own hands, seize the means of production, seize the instruments of political power, seize them from the politicians and the capitalists and those who would see them as nothing more than replaceable parts in the machine! You shall bury us? The inevitability of Socialism is self-evident, Comrade. The day the working classes of America realize the true oppression of the upper classes is the day this "Cold War" ends in its inevitable conclusion: the victory of socialism! As for my reference to the hydroelectric facilities of the Soviet Union, it was a simple rebuttal to your baffling argument that electricity required non-renewable resources. Nothing more. sniper4625 fucked around with this message at 01:35 on May 26, 2014 |
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May 26, 2014 01:32
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OOC: As much fun as pointless dickwaving is, at this rate the next two pages will be me and you getting out the measuring sticks. Let us speak through our newspapers.
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May 26, 2014 01:39
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The Capitalist beats a retreat in the face of unassailable truths! (OOC: Fair enough. To the presses!)
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May 26, 2014 01:45
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sniper4625 posted:Not for nothing was it said: Communism is Soviet power plus the electrification of the whole country! RFEB would like to report that, by simple mathematics, the Soviet Union thus has no electricity. (Communism = Soviet Power + Electrification == Communism - Electrification = Soviet Power)
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May 26, 2014 01:57
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 08:19 |
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 The Daily Worker, New York On another note, Tekopo posted:I would like to be the General Secretary, but I think the fun of this game is watching people screw up and I think it would be boring to have someone experienced in charge. For the same reason, I don't really want to be a politburo/congress. I'll sign up as a Journalist and for this game I'll be specifically Pro-Russia. Comrade, the doors of the Ministry are always open if you need assistance in bringing the truth to the masses! (I totally understand if RL has gotten in the way or whatever, but sure would be nice to have some other accurate journalists!) sniper4625 fucked around with this message at 04:04 on May 26, 2014 |
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May 26, 2014 03:32
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