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SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

darealkooky posted:

kingdom hearts 3 looks pretty cool so far idk
Like another Valkyrie Profile as directed by people of the 3rd Birthday fame. Square franchises are randomly used as rigging to support the bloated FF corpse, and it's surreal.

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BottledBodhisvata
Jul 26, 2013

by Lowtax

HOOLY BOOLY posted:

Remember Chocolina? The game hopes you don't, or at least expects that you blocked out of your memorydidn't play XIII-2, or at least you did, but didn't get the true ending. Which is strange considering this game goes off that true ending.

You say this like this is a bad thing. Chocolina was a terrible idea wrapped in a bow of awful.

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

Just add
NERD RAAAAAAGE
This is a good game, because you can dress up in cool outfits and wear silly hats and kill big things, and also the battle system is a+ rad. Where do I submit neat costume ideas

Kung-Fu Jesus
Dec 13, 2003

You submit them in this thread

D_W
Nov 12, 2013

You can only submit costume ideas if you're the one modelling the costume.

Instant Grat
Jul 31, 2009

Just add
NERD RAAAAAAGE

Kung-Fu Jesus posted:

You submit them in this thread

Get the Cyber Jumpsuit (it's in some store or other in Yusnaan), color it the best neon blue and neon green you can make, and wear it with the cool cyberpunk visor you get for completing some sidequest or other in the desert. It's the second-coolest outfit in the game.

Renzuko
Oct 10, 2012


Hjalmar posted:

Can't wait to see how seamlessly this transitions into FFXIV.

You joke but lightning has shown up in the same event twice in ff14, once for the japanese release of lightning returns, and once for the american release.

The storyline of the event was going out in the field for the newspapers of the 3 city states and getting info on the "cool, mysterious woman who appears to fight strange creatures" which was, go do a timed fight against the robot enemies and fight alongside lightning.

The reward for the events was weapons for each class that looked like the weapons from 13, so lightning's saber for paladins, and a bunch of sazh's guns taped together for monks. I also get to dress up as snow, hair included, because I decided to be a male character ingame, ladies get lightning's outfit and hair.

Shoopuf
Oct 18, 2010

Don't touch shoopuf. Tailss will be shlapping!

Renzuko posted:

You joke but lightning has shown up in the same event twice in ff14, once for the japanese release of lightning returns, and once for the american release.

The storyline of the event was going out in the field for the newspapers of the 3 city states and getting info on the "cool, mysterious woman who appears to fight strange creatures" which was, go do a timed fight against the robot enemies and fight alongside lightning.

The reward for the events was weapons for each class that looked like the weapons from 13, so lightning's saber for paladins, and a bunch of sazh's guns taped together for monks. I also get to dress up as snow, hair included, because I decided to be a male character ingame, ladies get lightning's outfit and hair.

By the end of the quest, a reporter for one of said newspapers supposedly gave Lightning their "traditional garb," which kind of sort of explains... this...



vv I know. :ssh: vv

Shoopuf fucked around with this message at 06:15 on May 15, 2014

Lance Streetman
Feb 20, 2011

A parfait is a dessert, but it is also the French word for perfect.
The Lighting event was dumb, but the outfit rewards were neat. Plus the weapons were cool, if a bit underpowered.

The story was more coherent than this poo poo, though. Jesus loving christ.

Renzuko
Oct 10, 2012


Shoopuf posted:

By the end of the quest, a reporter for one of said newspapers supposedly gave Lightning their "traditional garb," which kind of sort of explains... this...



Yeah...that'd be the girl cat people's starting clothes.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!
I think coming into this game after skipping the first two is definitely the way to go. I don't have to pretend to care about these people's stupid problems, and I could enjoy the legitimately fun gameplay without carrying all the FFXIII hate baggage.

Please please please wear a silly mustache during Lightning's performance in Party City Yusnaan.

The Shame Boy
Jan 27, 2014

Dead weight, just like this post.



The sad thing is that aside from the cat girl thing that's pretty tame compared to how very...much... some of the other dresses get and the best abilities are usually on them as well so :(

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!

BottledBodhisvata posted:

You say this like this is a bad thing. Chocolina was a terrible idea wrapped in a bow of awful.

Honestly, I think Chocolina would've been less awful if she was just a woman who dresses as a chocobo.

Why does she even have red feathers, anyway? Frocobo is purely yellow.

Skeleton Mom
Aug 11, 2008

Lance Streetman posted:

The story was more coherent than this poo poo, though. Jesus loving christ.

That's because FFXIV is a good game.

Archenteron
Nov 3, 2006

:marc:

Hobgoblin2099 posted:

Honestly, I think Chocolina would've been less awful if she was just a woman who dresses as a chocobo.

Why does she even have red feathers, anyway? Frocobo is purely yellow.

Dante, the Crazy "So you think you can ride this" Chocobo was turned red by the powers of Chaos. Chocolina got transformed by the power of Etro, aka Kinda-Chaos, so. There you go.

Chaeden
Sep 10, 2012
I'm just waiting until the Hope cutscene from the demo to say the biggest problem I have with 13 as a whole that was visible in even the demo. Hint: Its something that supposedly happened when she was made savior but there's no actual difference to be seen.

MrAptronym
Jan 4, 2007

"...And then there was Bitcoin."
I am really excited for this LP. I actually thought XIII was okay, not bad in any way, but not very fun. FFXIII2 though drained my soul. I felt like the plot was openly insulting to my intelligence, and the characters were painfully anime. Your LP is the only reason I figured out how it ended. Now people have been telling me this game is even worse, and I can see it.

However, the game is pretty, and it features a rave outside of time, so I don't think I can dislike it. (even with Dark Muse chaps and a dumb evil Sera walking around.) I think I will enjoy this in a B-movie way, its clear the developers didn't realize all of this seems stupid. You know if you've ever really gotten into a project and you can't see how stupid its becoming? That's FFXIII. The real star here is clearly cloth physics.

Suzaku
Feb 15, 2012

MrAptronym posted:

I am really excited for this LP. I actually thought XIII was okay, not bad in any way, but not very fun. FFXIII2 though drained my soul. I felt like the plot was openly insulting to my intelligence, and the characters were painfully anime. Your LP is the only reason I figured out how it ended. Now people have been telling me this game is even worse, and I can see it.

However, the game is pretty, and it features a rave outside of time, so I don't think I can dislike it. (even with Dark Muse chaps and a dumb evil Sera walking around.) I think I will enjoy this in a B-movie way, its clear the developers didn't realize all of this seems stupid. You know if you've ever really gotten into a project and you can't see how stupid its becoming? That's FFXIII. The real star here is clearly cloth physics.

XIII-3 isn't all bad. I mean, its plot is barely coherent and all, but it does take great pains to have all the fanservice it can and wrap up every major character it can think of. So there's that. And the cloth physics. And the battle system is pretty sweet. But it's really begging for a smart-rear end LP because it's pretty much impossible to take this thing seriously.

And whoever decided to lock the weapon and armor upgrading system behind a NG+ should be shot....

Gnomebitten
Mar 31, 2011

Shave Early. Shave Yourself.

Kung-Fu Jesus posted:

You submit them in this thread

Get the Yakuza outfit. I don't know what it is I just remember it from when Sunabuzu streamed

BottledBodhisvata
Jul 26, 2013

by Lowtax
In that first video, they said at LEAST four seperate times the exact same loving thing. "There's a revel at the end of time presided over by Snow" "there's a revel at the end of time" "snow presides over a revel at the end of--" JESUS CHRIST STOP TELLING ME WHAT YOU JUST TOLD ME

I'm calm. I'm calm. I'm fine, everything's fine, I just...I just had to get that out of my system, we're fine.

MrAptronym
Jan 4, 2007

"...And then there was Bitcoin."

Suzaku posted:

XIII-3 isn't all bad. I mean, its plot is barely coherent and all, but it does take great pains to have all the fanservice it can and wrap up every major character it can think of. So there's that. And the cloth physics. And the battle system is pretty sweet. But it's really begging for a smart-rear end LP because it's pretty much impossible to take this thing seriously.

And whoever decided to lock the weapon and armor upgrading system behind a NG+ should be shot....

They locked out the upgrade system? That seems like... a key feature? Like I said, I am excited in a B-movie way. You cannot take it seriously, but you can see that they did. Even with the awful DLC walls, it seems like the developers were all in trying to make a great game, and in some ways they did succeed. Its like watching an awful indie film where you're like "Wow, if they could write dialogue or had real actors, this would be great!" Its a weird mix of ironic and genuine enjoyment. (It also helps that I have always been a FF fan. Even the bad ones.)

Suzaku
Feb 15, 2012

MrAptronym posted:

They locked out the upgrade system? That seems like... a key feature? Like I said, I am excited in a B-movie way. You cannot take it seriously, but you can see that they did. Even with the awful DLC walls, it seems like the developers were all in trying to make a great game, and in some ways they did succeed. Its like watching an awful indie film where you're like "Wow, if they could write dialogue or had real actors, this would be great!" Its a weird mix of ironic and genuine enjoyment. (It also helps that I have always been a FF fan. Even the bad ones.)

Yep! Not only do you have to be on NG+ to upgrade, you have to have gotten to the NG+ through beating the final boss on your previous playthrough. And I think you have to be on Hard difficulty, though I don't remember for sure. It's pretty dumb, and it's like all the gating on XIII's systems, but different.

The game is actually fun to play, it's just exceedingly poorly written and is weighed down by the "plot" of the XIII series. When you do finally get access to all the game systems, it's great. Hard difficulty plays a lot like it seems the game should have played from the start, with upgrading and the ability to NG+ from any point.

The method for upgrading accessories is stupid, though. Mostly because of the number of upgrades each one has.

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


BottledBodhisvata posted:

In that first video, they said at LEAST four seperate times the exact same loving thing. "There's a revel at the end of time presided over by Snow" "there's a revel at the end of time" "snow presides over a revel at the end of--" JESUS CHRIST STOP TELLING ME WHAT YOU JUST TOLD ME

I'm calm. I'm calm. I'm fine, everything's fine, I just...I just had to get that out of my system, we're fine.

You're going to love this game.

Tell me, what do you think of the word "chaos"?

BottledBodhisvata
Jul 26, 2013

by Lowtax

SSNeoman posted:

You're going to love this game.

Tell me, what do you think of the word "chaos"?

Ambivalent!

gatesealer
Apr 9, 2011

Suzaku posted:

Yep! Not only do you have to be on NG+ to upgrade, you have to have gotten to the NG+ through beating the final boss on your previous playthrough. And I think you have to be on Hard difficulty, though I don't remember for sure. It's pretty dumb, and it's like all the gating on XIII's systems, but different.

The game is actually fun to play, it's just exceedingly poorly written and is weighed down by the "plot" of the XIII series. When you do finally get access to all the game systems, it's great. Hard difficulty plays a lot like it seems the game should have played from the start, with upgrading and the ability to NG+ from any point.

The method for upgrading accessories is stupid, though. Mostly because of the number of upgrades each one has.

See, that's the problem I had with the first game. If I paid for the game, the game should be fun and play well from either beginning to end, or at least from very close to the beginning to end. You saying that the game is great after NG+ is not an endorsement. That just means I have to beat the game at least once before I can actually enjoy the thing.

I'm not saying your wrong to find some entertainment from the game. I'm just saying that this is the same kind of thing I heard from others about XIII. If a game gets good only after you play through the first third, I don't want to play the game.

Kung-Fu Jesus
Dec 13, 2003

My guess for their decision is that hard mode is balanced around being able to improve your weapons, and not necessary on lower difficulties. Unfortunately, when you lock game customization features behind a huge, boring barrier, that's a mistake no matter what your intentions. It's going to entice some people to play the game twice, and leave most people with a cat's butthole facial expression, like mine right now.

AnotherGamer
Jan 12, 2007
Please change my name to "The Guff Machine"
Edit: What he said.

Overlord K
Jun 14, 2009
I actually quite enjoyed Lightning Returns, the plot was silly but I had a good deal of fun with the gameplay, so this should be quite fun to watch!

And I'll always say the biggest flaw with this game is you can't make Lightning wear more than one adornment at once. Way to limit my silly dress up options! :argh:

BottledBodhisvata
Jul 26, 2013

by Lowtax

Kung-Fu Jesus posted:

My guess for their decision is that hard mode is balanced around being able to improve your weapons, and not necessary on lower difficulties. Unfortunately, when you lock game customization features behind a huge, boring barrier, that's a mistake no matter what your intentions. It's going to entice some people to play the game twice, and leave most people with a cat's butthole facial expression, like mine right now.

A voice of the people. A voice of truth.

It really sounds like they cannot make a FF13 game without making an incredibly stupid design decision. Based on all the press coming out of Square, this is apparently a result of actual insane people running the company.

Tempo 119
Apr 17, 2006

Hello I'm here to take you all the gently caress down because LRFF13 is actually the best and most legit FF since 10-2 and I won't hear otherwise.

gatesealer posted:

I don't get this stupid trilogy. How did we get from the ending of XIII to this? What was the transition? When did these people gain the ability to live forever? What is happening in this universe? I watched the last LP and I am still completely lost. That is terrible story telling.

Also, I have never played this game so I will spoil this if needed but since it is just a guess I don't think I need to, is the black market guy noel? I got a very Noel feel from him.

"Why don't I know the entire plot of this 30 hour game after 5 minutes? Boo hoo terrible story telling."

You're right though he looks exactly like Noel, but he's not. He's just some NPC and you never see him again.

HOOLY BOOLY posted:

Remember Chocolina? The game hopes you don't, or at least expects that you blocked out of your memorydidn't play XIII-2, or at least you did, but didn't get the true ending. Which is strange considering this game goes off that true ending.

Chocolina had nothing to do with the true ending, she was in the Chronobind DLC. The true ending was just Caius spinning around and telling you the normal ending was the real one all along.

MrAptronym posted:

They locked out the upgrade system? That seems like... a key feature? Like I said, I am excited in a B-movie way. You cannot take it seriously, but you can see that they did. Even with the awful DLC walls, it seems like the developers were all in trying to make a great game, and in some ways they did succeed. Its like watching an awful indie film where you're like "Wow, if they could write dialogue or had real actors, this would be great!" Its a weird mix of ironic and genuine enjoyment. (It also helps that I have always been a FF fan. Even the bad ones.)

You can only upgrade on new game plus because you're constantly getting new equipment on the first playthrough. The bosses all drop stuff and the shops get new stock pretty much every day. In the time it would take you to raise the materials you need to upgrade a sword, you would find 3 new swords and completely change your loadout. Also it doesn't matter because the game is kind of easy.

What do you mean by "awful DLC walls" anyway? The DLC is all costumes and only one of them is remotely useful, let alone required.

Tempo 119 fucked around with this message at 17:50 on May 15, 2014

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


Remember that they moved offices based on a fortuneteller's prediction.

Kung-Fu Jesus
Dec 13, 2003

Tempo 119 posted:

Hello I'm here to take you all the gently caress down because LRFF13 is actually the best and most legit FF since 10-2 and I won't hear otherwise.
Wouldn't be too loving hard, would it? And technically, you're wrong because FFIV:ARR came out before this game.

Gensuki
Sep 2, 2011

Kung-Fu Jesus posted:

Wouldn't be too loving hard, would it? And technically, you're wrong because FFIV:ARR came out before this game.

Most legit game originally released for a home console maybe?

Kung-Fu Jesus
Dec 13, 2003

Most loving legit game period except for several qualifiers, you idiots. Listen up.

Gologle
Apr 15, 2013

The Gologle Posting Experience.

<3
I missed you. I missed you all so much. Your team is basically Steve Rogers and I'm Peggy Carter in Captain America 2: America Boogaloo.

Tempo 119
Apr 17, 2006

I'm Lightning, in Lightning Returns.

Suzaku
Feb 15, 2012

Tempo 119 posted:

You can only upgrade on new game plus because you're constantly getting new equipment on the first playthrough. The bosses all drop stuff and the shops get new stock pretty much every day. In the time it would take you to raise the materials you need to upgrade a sword, you would find 3 new swords and completely change your loadout. Also it doesn't matter because the game is kind of easy.

Since most new equipment isn't a direct upgrade from anything previous, but more about enabling different play options or combating certain enemies, upgrading is far from pointless in a first run. Otherwise weapons and shields could just be upgraded like accessories are. As it is, Hard isn't exactly difficult. If your gameplay systems only work well on one difficulty mode, and that mode can only be accessed after beating the game, you done hosed up somewhere.

I like the upgrade system, but there's no excuse for designing the game such that it gets gated behind NG+ requirements.

gatesealer
Apr 9, 2011

Tempo 119 posted:

Hello I'm here to take you all the gently caress down because LRFF13 is actually the best and most legit FF since 10-2 and I won't hear otherwise.


"Why don't I know the entire plot of this 30 hour game after 5 minutes? Boo hoo terrible story telling."

You're right though he looks exactly like Noel, but he's not. He's just some NPC and you never see him again.

Guess I'm just used to good video games giving me at least some information to start with instead of just going off like I'm supposed to know what is going on. You know like FF 6 that gave you a good opening that told you there was a war, Terra is a witch so magic is a thing, the empire has advanced technology, and Terra is being controlled. All of that was with out the opening exposition dump. That sets me up to know what is going on based on what the main character knows. FF 9 also has a good opening. You are going to kidnap a princess, so you are thieves, airships exist, and there are kingdoms. That was fine because that was all you needed to know at the time. I'm not asking to know the entire plot, I am asking the game to at least fill me in enough that I am not confused from one game to another. All we as the player know at this point is Chaos is a thing, Lightning is "the savior", and snow runs a party at the end of time.

Speedball
Apr 15, 2008

I kinda liked Lightning's original FF13 outfit but everything she's had since has been kinda crap. Someone who's that serious should have an outfit that says "I'm an adventurer who is awesome" over "I'm an adventurer who is SEXY." And I even like sexy people and impractical outfits.

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Tempo 119
Apr 17, 2006

gatesealer posted:

Guess I'm just used to good video games giving me at least some information to start with instead of just going off like I'm supposed to know what is going on. You know like FF 6 that gave you a good opening that told you there was a war, Terra is a witch so magic is a thing, the empire has advanced technology, and Terra is being controlled. All of that was with out the opening exposition dump. That sets me up to know what is going on based on what the main character knows. FF 9 also has a good opening. You are going to kidnap a princess, so you are thieves, airships exist, and there are kingdoms. That was fine because that was all you needed to know at the time. I'm not asking to know the entire plot, I am asking the game to at least fill me in enough that I am not confused from one game to another. All we as the player know at this point is Chaos is a thing, Lightning is "the savior", and snow runs a party at the end of time.

Well what else do you need to be told? You're some weird-looking lady, you're here to beat up some guy and do a gameplay tutorial. Do you think Pulp Fiction should have had a text crawl as well?

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