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if only thread ratings could go higher than 5
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Sep 6, 2014 19:25
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 03:31 |
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If there was ever a game project that needed funding this would be it
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Sep 6, 2014 19:30
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Minarchist posted:If there was ever a game project that needed funding this would be it imagine the kickstarter stretch goals
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Sep 6, 2014 20:23
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make the tie 8-bit
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Sep 6, 2014 20:33
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Dave Concepcion posted:imagine the kickstarter stretch goals A Sam Sperglord themed hot dog store
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Sep 6, 2014 23:23
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someone call TellTale
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Sep 7, 2014 00:46
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Sep 7, 2014 06:25
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I can't loving breathe holy poo poo
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Sep 7, 2014 08:04
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"Sam, I'm so scared!" The dame's voice was all a quiver. The mooks that trashed her apartment were obviously trying to send a message. "I know a trick that can help you feel less afraid," I told her. "Oh?" she asked. "What's that?" "It's an old ditty my mother taught me, always makes me feel better," I said, squaring up my shoulders, trying to appear larger to establish myself as an alpha male. "Repeat after me: I must not fear, fear is the mind killer..."
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Sep 7, 2014 21:31
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 As a private eye, I'd seen death before of course, and shown little or no emotion. People who I never knew or would know. But seeing Fluttershy lying there made me stop and evaluate, made me actually look at what was really happening...
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Sep 8, 2014 03:09
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Applewhite posted:
lol
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Sep 8, 2014 03:10
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This is what the refrans Applewhite fucked around with this message at 03:22 on Sep 8, 2014 |
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Sep 8, 2014 03:12
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ilikedirt posted:the autopsy was gruesome but provided some usefuk insights. toxicology sceens came back positive for snake venom. that explained the unusual bite marks on the vics tongue. bingo. 6
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Sep 8, 2014 03:18
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whoa i thought there were only 1 pages
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Sep 8, 2014 03:19
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The bartender brought Vinnie "Smiles" Giuliano another glass of whiskey. Smiles downed half of it one smooth motion, lit up another Lucky Strike, and leaned in toward me. "Hey, do I look like I'm lyin' ta you?" He smiled. I didn't know. "HrnnnnnnnnGGHHGHGHHGHGH!" I wailed, closing my eyes tight and curling up on the seat so that my knees were almost touching my shoulders. Smiles quietly left a fiver for on the bar and backed aweay.
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Sep 8, 2014 03:37
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incredible
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Sep 8, 2014 17:35
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holy poo poo lolllll quote:This is amazing work. As a student of history I can say that I've seen hundreds of pictures like this, and have shown little to no emotion. The pictures were just windows to a past I've never lived in, people who I never knew or would ever know. But this picture made me stop and evaluate. Putting Rainbow Dash in made me actually look at what is really happening. Putting something that everyone is familiar with in a situation that no one knows, and to make people feel those emotions well, that takes amazing talent. Thank you Lolllll cause people aren't enough. I need ponies
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Sep 8, 2014 18:28
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Sep 8, 2014 18:45
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i lust for pony death
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Sep 8, 2014 19:06
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this is the dumbest thing ive seen all year. holy loving poo poo
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Sep 8, 2014 20:09
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I was too late. When I forced myself through the door I prepared myself for the worst. The apartment was covered in blood, my contact was nailed to the wall in a T-pose, just like the scene in my favorite anime Evangelion. It was a warning. Dave's death was shocking, but what I saw on the nearby TV horrified me. It was playing episode 21 of Rorouni Kenshin. It was dubbed.
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Sep 8, 2014 21:19
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ponys would probably be better if the flying ones enslaved the workhorses that can't do poo poo but be retarded horses
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Sep 8, 2014 21:30
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Unmoving, she sat in her usual spot. The silence was so oppressive, it was almost tangible. I sighed, the aroma of Flamin' Hot Cheetos filled the room. This wasn't going to be easy. "Look doll, I don't know how to say this...but...there's someone else." Her eyes unblinkingly bored into mine until I couldn't take it. I studied the familiar spot on the carpet finding some comfort in the fringe I knew so well as I felt my face becoming redder than its usual cherry color. "She'll be here any minute. I hope you understand" Still silence. Her mouth hung open. As I studied those lips I knew so well, I was suddenly struck by how beautiful she looked. As beautiful as when I first pulled her from her box, as elegant as Linux. The doorbell rang. I got up to answer the door, observing the outline of the delivery man and his precious cargo through the thin curtains. It might take awhile, but I'm sure she'll come around. We'll be a happy family. And I'll finally embark on my Journey to Love.
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Sep 9, 2014 00:31
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The kid's mother showed me down to the basement. "He and his friends would spend most of their time down here," she told me. "The day it happened... One of them, a friend of his I'd never met before, came sprinting up out of the basement. He almost knocked me down on his way out. I went down to check on Tommy and that's..." She choked down a sniffle. Water was leaking from her eyes and her voice quavered when she spoke. Possibly a sign of a developing cold, or possibly some neurological disorder. I took a step back to reduce my risk of infection. "...that's when I found him." she sniffed. I stepped around her and surveyed the room. A chalk outline deliniated where Tommy's corpse had been, a ghost shape sprawled out on the carpet. "The police have already been over everything?" I asked. She nodded. "I haven't touched anything since they've been down here." "I thought I recognized Inspector DuChamp's shoddy work. As usual, he's ignored everything important." The dame sniffled again. "Th-they said they'd do their best, but that he was probably already long gone. A friend of mine told me you were the person to call in situations like this," she gave me an intense look. "Can you do it, Mr. Sperglord? Can you find my son's killer?" I scanned the room once more. Copies of the US edition of Shonen Jump were strewn around, as well as left-to right westernized bastardizations of Inu Yasha manga. A clamshell case for the 4Kids dub of Yu Gi Oh rested partway open on top of the DVD player. The DVD itself presumably still inside. "I could find your son's killer, ma'm, but I won't." Even I could tell the look she gave me was one of shock. "As far as I'm concerned," I continued, "this was a justifiable homicide."
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Sep 9, 2014 15:56
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Why hasn't this been Goldmined?
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Sep 24, 2014 03:40
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Sham bam bamina! posted:Why hasn't this been Goldmined? HEY CAN YOU TIE MY SHOES?
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Sep 24, 2014 03:50
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I hope this thread never dies.
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Sep 24, 2014 04:04
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I stood over her body. The deep red of her blood stood out violently against the cold grey cement. The sirens were getting louder. They'd be here any minute. I knew if I ran it'd look real bad for me. I'd made the NYPD look like fools for years. They'd jump at the chance to nail my rear end to the cross (especially that smug prick Wakowski) but those sirens were just too loud.
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Sep 24, 2014 09:34
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Funky See Funky Do posted:I stood over her body. The deep red of her blood stood out violently against the cold grey cement. The sirens were getting louder. They'd be here any minute. I knew if I ran it'd look real bad for me. I'd made the NYPD look like fools for years. They'd jump at the chance to nail my rear end to the cross (especially that smug prick Wakowski) but those sirens were just too loud. sam, noooo 
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Sep 24, 2014 12:20
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The letter was tear-stained, like so many of the checks that came in to pay my bills. It smelt like expensive perfume, more expensive than a flatfoot like me could ever afford. Sure, I had a stash of bitcoins that would make me rich someday, but every two-bit scam artist west of the Rockies was in on that game. The dame had seen my business card, and she sounded desperate. The kind of desperation that pays well if you're nice with the ladies like I am. They get no funny stuff from me - I carried my neighbour's typewriter across town and only wanted a cup of joe for it. Never understood why she only likes the kind of musclebound slimeballs I usually run in for breaking bail, but that's dames for you. "Your the only one who can help," said the letter, "something has happened to my brother and I need to find out. I can pay cash." My reply didn't take long - with the bills piling up and work thin on the ground, only had one response. One word, underlined. So she'd understand. "You're"
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Sep 24, 2014 16:53
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The day was hotter than a bitcoin mining rig, and the dame that just entered my office hotter still. I excused myself briefly to administer a little 'chemical assistance', I needed to be at the top of my game for this. As I returned from the bathroom I could already feel the potent mix of eformoterol and budesonide working its magic. I was barely wheezing when I 'm'ladied' her as I leaned back on my 'new' second hand Aeron chair.
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Sep 24, 2014 17:39
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Dave Concepcion posted:The day was hotter than a bitcoin mining rig, and the dame that just entered my office hotter still. I excused myself briefly to administer a little 'chemical assistance', I needed to be at the top of my game for this. As I returned from the bathroom I could already feel the potent mix of eformoterol and budesonide working its magic. I was barely wheezing when I 'm'ladied' her as I leaned back on my 'new' second hand Aeron chair. This is good stuff.
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Sep 24, 2014 18:10
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Sham bam bamina! posted:Why hasn't this been Goldmined?
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Sep 24, 2014 23:20
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The suspects drifted into the parlor one by one, puzzled by the detective's late-night summons. "What's all this about, Sperglord?" demanded Colonel Grufflingsberg, his huge moustache quivering indigantly. "All will be revealed in time, Colonel, once we are all assembled," answered Sperglord, his piggy eyes twinkling with mischief. He turned to greet the maid, Julia Pennybottom, as she shuffled timidly into the parlor. "M'lady" he said, tipping his hat before turning to the rest of the group. "Now that we are all here, I have an announcement." "I expect you've discovered who the murderer is so we can finally depart this ghastly manor?" Lady Chunkington-Smythe sniffed haughtily, clutching her tiny dog to her ample bosom. "Not quite, Lady Chunkington," answered the detective, scrupulously avoiding looking at her as he spoke. "But, we are close." He gestured to the table, where he'd placed a pistol in the exact center. "On that table is a loaded gun. Specifically, it's a Colt Official Police. A medium frame, six-shot, double-action revolver with a six-round cylinder, primarily chambered for the .38 Special cartridge, and manufactured by the Colt's Manufacturing Company. "Now, I am going to go to the lights and turn them off, then on, then off, then on and off three times in rapid succession, then leave them on to the count of five, and then off and the killer..." Sam paused, smiling, "will reveal himself." Applewhite fucked around with this message at 15:40 on Sep 25, 2014 |
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Sep 25, 2014 14:44
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"I don't like sliced cheese!" I proclaimed. The others were dumbfounded by this sudden exclamation, the silence lasted 5.3 seconds. "Yes, but Detect-" "I got sliced cheese in my lunch sandwiches today!" I interupted. The silence lasted longer this time, 9.16 seconds. "Ok, we will see if we can get you other sandwiches. Can the defense and prosecution please approach the bench." Ah good, they must be discussing how to get me new sandwiches, their glances of bewildering awe towards me indicate this. I hope they have pickles, maybe I should instruct them. "Ok, thank you Detective Sperglord, you may step down now from the witness stand." "The Defense calls for a mis-trial!" "Granted." Another case closed, another job well done.
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Sep 25, 2014 15:36
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Spergelord tiptoed stealthily down the hallway to the interrogation room so he didn't have to talk to anyone on route. With a tentative close, open and close the door clicked behind him and he briefly made eye contact with the victim's parents before finding a suitable dot on the floor to focus upon. "M'..lady.." started Spergelord but fell flat. ".. I have some probably bad news and you might want to sit down if you just stood up" "Detective!" stuttered the victim's father, "please, what's happened? Where is our princess? What kind of evil could do this?" "That is indeed the question", followed Spergelord, "Just what kind of Evil. Or even Evil at all? Have you considered, sir, that it could have been the work of chaotic neutral?"
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Sep 25, 2014 15:37
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Sep 25, 2014 16:10
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Sham bam bamina! posted:Why hasn't this been Goldmined? cause people keep adding funny poo poo
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Sep 25, 2014 16:29
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Elementary, my dear waifu.
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Sep 28, 2014 17:49
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 03:31 |
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Dave Concepcion posted:Elementary, my dear waifu. That's Sherlock Holmes, not Noir Detective fiction you loving moron
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Sep 28, 2014 18:44
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