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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IycjHFxhU2g Hello Putas y Putos, grab the luchador mask you bought during spring break in Cabo sophomore year, dust off the sombrero you stole from the local Mexican restaurant last time you had too many Margarita's on Cinco de Mayo, and get your rear end ready because Mexico is going to the loving World Cup!  Lets just get this out of the way first; Mexico is going to have a really terrible World Cup. So if like 90% of Americans you plan on spending the next two months claiming some distant and deeply personal connection to another country only to then promptly forget it about it after the final. Just move along. This team is going to bring you nothing but misery. But I thought Mexico was good? Mexico has been riding its reputation as the big dogs of the CONCACAF region for at least 10 years. That reputation combined with a few trophies in competitions that literally no one gives a gently caress about has provided the fuel for the FMF to constantly pretend they are still relevant while the corrupt fucks continue to milk every single dollar they can from the sport while making zero effort to improve the league, the National Team, youth coaching, literally anything and the result of that neglect is readily visible. Mexican soccer is decades behind significant portions of the sporting world, and that looks unlikely to change in the immediate future. That seems bad... Yup! As a result of all that incompetence, this Hobbit looking motherfucker right here is going to drag a bunch of old past it players to spectacularly splash out of the World Cup, playing poor football and failing to make use of any of the talent available to him, its going to be downright tragic.  This is what Miguel Herrera is most famous for. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOLkUTVT7ko As a manager he has only won a single title in over ten years, which only came last year, and only once he started managing arguably the biggest club in the country. That might sound encouraging but you need to remember its still the Liga MX. The former Mexican First division is structured in a way that makes the Calvinball of MLS look reasonable. So you mentioned old has-beens huh? Oh yeah, we got 'em  There was a time when Rafael Marquez was a good center back, I would even say World Class. Few Mexican players have had such storied and successful Club careers as the current Captain. Marquez won Ligue 1, La Liga, Copa del Rey, and EUFA Champions League trophies, but his career was dotted by injuries. He has a terrible attitude and now at 35 with his physical tools greatly diminished that's about all that's left of Rafa Marquez. He is almost certainly going to start. God help us.  Carlos Salcido is a very ugly man. Something of a rags to riches story he was never a particularly good footballer. He was discovered already playing as a grown man, and against amateurs and children he used his physicality to look the part of a convincing footballer well enough to be offered a contract by Mexican club Chivas. Turns out he was sort of bad, and had to spend two years injuring children to learn how to actually play football. Eventually he managed to marry enough footballing brains to his ability to run real fast and kick the poo poo out people into 100+ appearances for the club and even got an eventual move to Holland where he looked good mostly because the Dutch don't know how to defend. I actually love Salcido, he's just a big dumb, lovable brute but he never learned how to play football, not really. Now age has taken his legs away and he's just a massive liability that is all but guaranteed to start every single group game at fullback or god forbid, center back.  The Ghost of Francisco "Maza" Rodriguez will also play. I wish I had something to say about Maza, he looked solid enough for years and his eventual downturn is something of a mystery to me. He isn't as old as Marquez and Salcido, and his career hasn't been particularly plagued by injuries so whatever led to him turning to poo poo isn't readily apparent. I personally suspect it has a lot to do with covering for liabilities like Salcido, Layun, Torres Nilo, etc, but none of that is relevant since he's absolutely going to be paired with someone poo poo and there is zero reason to expect him to perform any better than he did throughout qualification.  Andres Guardado should be too young to be considered a has been but its certainly an apt description. Once a pacey Winger/Wingback with just enough flair to make him a fan favorite, the former Super Depor man just isn't the player he used to be. Injuries robbed him of a lot of his pace and Andres failed to really adapt his game in anyway. Despite the loss of his footballing ability I almost hate to list Guardado here. From all accounts in Spain his character and commitment are stellar and he is one of the few players on the Mexico side to be able to create some real danger from dead balls. Still the fact remains that Andres isn't the player he once was an Herrera's unimaginative and one dimensional tactics aren't really going to get any use of what Andres can still bring to the side. Alright I mean every team has some dross, what about the good players? Despite the fact that the FMF has football development in Mexico all but stagnant, our tactics are from the 80's, and our Manager is a mentally handicapped Goblin, a nation of 118 Million people obsessed with football, are occasionally, against the odds, going to produce some talent.  If "El Piojo" Herrera was even remotely competent this man would be the starting keeper for Mexico. Guillermo "Memo" Ochoa was something of a Wonder Kid, cementing himself in the Club America side at the age of 18 and earning minutes for Mexico at just 20. His development stagnated and certain aspects of his game just weren't up to par. He was rightly outed of the side for a while by solid keepers like Jesus Corona and Talavera. That said though, Ochoa showed some real guts, instead of staying in Mexico getting paid really well to be poor to mediocre, Ochoa challenged himself by moving to France and playing with newly promoted minnows AC Ajaccio. Ochoa responded beautifully, and the exposure to a higher level of football has done wonders for his development. He's done really well for Ajaccio earning plenty of plaudits for his effort and being credited as being a big factor in their continued survival in Ligue 1. He has consistently played and also just shown some absolutely heroic efforts to keep clean sheets against giant preto clubs like PSG. He's closed a lot of his holes and looks to be a great keeper, and still only 28. But Herrera probably doesn't know where France is, let alone that they play football there, so Memo's chances of starting are pretty slim. Thankfully Talavera and Corona are both competent so as much as I wish Memo was starting its not quite as tragic as the fact that Salcido is going to play.   In a world where Mexico's qualification campaign wasn't a gigantic disaster, Diego Reyes and Hector Moreno would feature far more prominently in defense. Not too long ago Moreno was consistently starting alongside Maza Rodriguez and the pairing seemed pretty promising, Reyes was getting good minutes and looking like he would have a very bright future. All of that changed once Mexico started struggling in qualification though, these two quickly found themselves on the outs as unimaginative and conservative managers Chepo and Herrera brought in increasingly older players in a desperate attempt to make stale one dimensional tactics work. (pro-tip it didn't work, and a gift from the United States combined with New Zealand being terrible are the only reason Mexico are at the World Cup) Hopefully Salcido and Marquez get injured because Mexico might not embarrass themselves if Maza and Moreno start again.  Marco Fabian is one of the few Mexican players with the ability to create something out of nothing. He has enough pace, flair, and a good enough shot to present a threat but he's not exactly a revelation. He has spent his entire career in the Mexican league, and if we are honest that's likely stifled his development. It remains to be seen how he's going to be able to handle world class defenders. Still, along with his skills he just flat out has the balls to take risks and actually try something instead of endlessly passing the ball wide for a half-hearted cross and that alone makes him interesting to watch and if Mexico manage to advance past the group stage he's going to play a part.  Giovani Dos Santos is just flat out retarded but that doesn't change the fact that he's plainly a pretty good footballer. He has loads of ability but is crippled by his terrible attitude and complete lack of professionalism. There is no denying he is absolutely capable of brilliance, but he's also pretty likely to go out, get smashed, gently caress a tranny and just poo poo up every minute he spends on the pitch. Reports from Villareal are that age has done a lot to temper Gio's idiocy, and if that turns out to be true look out for him to bring some real creativity and flair to Mexico's play. If he's still the same dip poo poo kid who skipped out days of training with Tottenham then  its going to be bad. Easily the most famous and recognizable of the current crop of Mexican players Chicharito is going to score like, maybe a single goal this tournament and everyone is going to say he's poo poo and it makes me sad. I'm not sure what to say about Hernandez, he's a spectacularly gifted poacher. Part of me wants to say he is the best player on the Mexico team but the truth is he is going to struggle. What he does well is pretty narrow and without trying to make it sound like I'm absolving him of the fault of being one dimensional this Mexican team isn't going to take advantage of his skill set at all. Look forward to him making a zillion runs that are ignored by an unimaginative midfield. He's not great in the build up play, and he's going to be triple marked as Mexico lazily pass the ball out wide for a slow and predictable cross he's never going to able to get on the end of. I don't want to make it sound like its somehow the rest of the teams fault. The truth is Hernandez is dangerously close to being a one trick pony. That said, the trick, is really loving good, and a better team, a better manager would be able to use it to score some loving goals. As it stands Javier is going to struggle and probably get a lot more flack than he deserves. The expectations are toxic and his success in England has led people to fantasize that he's a different player than he is. Its a shame.  That's going to leave this man to be Mexico's biggest goal scoring threat. I like Peralta, he's got a penchant for being a bit of a bruiser but he's not without skill. He is exciting. Like Marco Fabian he's a risk taker, and that means he's going to have the potential to conjure chances out of thin air when Mexico's lazy one dimensional attack inevitably breaks down. Like Fabian though his entire career has been spent in the Liga MX, which basically means he could surprise us all and be a genuine threat when facing real defenders, or just be the second coming of Jared Borgetti. Regardless the fans and the Media have no illusions about his ability or the type of player he is, and unburdened by idiotic expectations he could do very well. So how is this Mix of decent players and absolute waste-men going to line up? code:Welp, that's it, as you can see I'm very optimistic and looking forward to every minute of the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. In all honestly I'm going to have a blast. I'm under no illusions about Mexico's place in world football and have the perspective to remember that tons and tons of countries get to miss out, thanks to massive CONCACAF bribes I'm likely going to get to watch my beloved team of Wastemen play at the World Cup every single WC year until I die. Its going to be an exciting tournament full of midday drinking and yelling in Spanish at increasingly uncomfortable families at my local Ruby Tuesday. ¡VIVA MEXICO! Ciprian Maricon fucked around with this message at 04:51 on May 26, 2014 |
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May 26, 2014 04:41
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I really hope they don't make it out of the first round. gently caress them.
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May 26, 2014 05:37
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They are going to crash so horribly that I feel bad for all the players I like following (which are everyone that has something to do with Club America). However, I hate the media being xenophobic and some of the players too, they should have called Chaco Gimenez or Lucas Lobos. As someone from an immigrant family, I'm almost offended they weren't even considered and that they're always refered to as 'los naturalizados'. The USMNT wouldn't do that. I also, unironically, expect Layun to score the single goal of Mexico in this world cup 
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May 26, 2014 05:49
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Weaponized Cum posted:I really hope they don't make it out of the first round. gently caress them. All the players do insane amounts of coke and are basically ruined by age 23 it owns.
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May 26, 2014 06:17
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Surely Rafa Marquez has grown up and at 35 is above the cuntiness of his youth, right? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzpNshaO33k no https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gcWX3F4FBU hell no
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May 26, 2014 07:28
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I've never thought of Mexico as 'good', op. Guillermo Ochoa is a poo poo keeper who plays great a couple of games a season.
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May 26, 2014 07:52
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Zombie Chow posted:However, I hate the media being xenophobic and some of the players too, they should have called Chaco Gimenez or Lucas Lobos. As someone from an immigrant family, I'm almost offended they weren't even considered and that they're always refered to as 'los naturalizados'. The USMNT wouldn't do that. Gimenez and Lobos aren't very good. The FMF is really xenophobic and nationalistic but neither of them scream out for a place in the World Cup squad, especially Lobos. I know Chaco is the kind of player who runs and runs and runs and that makes him a cult favorite but he's not a good enough footballer to merit inclusion. The last thing this squad needs is another over the hill Journeyman from Liga MX. 2010 was when Chaco should have had a place in the Squad but he's not good enough anymore. Zombie Chow posted:I also, unironically, expect Layun to score the single goal of Mexico in this world cup Miguel Layun is a complete wasteman who would never play a second in any league outside of Liga MX. He crashed out of Seria A so bad I'm pretty sure every single Italian scout just immediately put a line through Mexico and never looked at a Mexican player again after the first 10 minute that useless twat spent stinking up a Seria A pitch. Ciprian Maricon fucked around with this message at 08:11 on May 26, 2014 |
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May 26, 2014 08:06
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58IL7TR-OSU One of my earliest football memories 
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May 26, 2014 08:23
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Please change the Miguel Herrera youtube link to this please. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kb7OBabHqXs
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May 26, 2014 10:59
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That was quite an OP, OP. As a result I hope Mexico don't do terribly.
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May 26, 2014 19:58
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I heard that USMNT fans threw cups of urine over Mexicans.
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May 26, 2014 19:59
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Drogadon posted:Surely Rafa Marquez has grown up and at 35 is above the cuntiness of his youth, right? The second one is pretty much the same move he pulled on Cobi Jones in 2002 (Go to 1:51) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25aA5kuTqaQ
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May 26, 2014 20:15
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Pissflaps posted:I heard that USMNT fans threw cups of urine over Mexicans. Its true Flappy, American's racist and hateful supporters have a twisted tradition of hurling things at good and righteous Mexican fans and players, its sickening. Mexican supporter culture is positive and good like, singing "Cielito Lindo" at the same time in every game, all together, like brothers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWd9t-Xr47s Mexican fans are also always good hosts making sure to support even the visitors by always encouraging their Keepers during Goal Kicks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70rU9jA3XlA Mexico fans also gave supporters everywhere a great tool to show their love and support as it was us that taught the whole world the Mexican Wave! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl0-XjJklb0 In conclusion, Mexican fans are cool and good and American fans are bad and stupid and also racist as hell.
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May 26, 2014 23:18
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I wouldn't feel right if I dodn't mention Jorge Campos as a past Mexican glory (of sorts). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk-k2DW65c8
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May 26, 2014 23:59
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quote:Mexican fans are also always good hosts making sure to support even the visitors by always encouraging their Keepers during Goal Kicks. lmao is this the one that MLS fans have PTSD from
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May 27, 2014 00:09
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Baldo di Gregorio posted:lmao is this the one that MLS fans have PTSD from Our broadcast partners were NOT pleased. And hell, its a slur.
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May 27, 2014 01:35
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Latin American fans are just friendly and like to make visitors feel welcome.
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May 27, 2014 02:25
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Baldo di Gregorio posted:lmao is this the one that MLS fans have PTSD from Bitch it might be.
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May 27, 2014 02:43
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I really love tacos, specially with nice beef and pork minced over onions. Hope this helps.
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May 27, 2014 03:35
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So El Tri plays Israel on Wednesday; they called in Cuauhtemoc Blanco so they could send him off. Apparently he's now starting in Chicharito's place. Seems like an odd decision since that one tournament starts in three weeks but hey, go nuts E: Blanco is 41 by the way
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May 27, 2014 04:44
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It's more of an acknowledgement/tribute to Blanco's importance as a leader in the good old days. He gets to play the whole first half.
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May 27, 2014 05:53
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Zombie Chow posted:It's more of an acknowledgement/tribute to Blanco's importance as a leader in the good old days. He gets to play the whole first half. Blanco already got sent to the 2010 World Cup so he could have his last hurrah, they even let him take a Penalty so he could break a record, there is no good reason why after a disastrous qualifying campaign, Blanco needs to get called up again.
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May 27, 2014 06:36
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Stinky Pit posted:Blanco already got sent to the 2010 World Cup so he could have his last hurrah, they even let him take a Penalty so he could break a record, there is no good reason why after a disastrous qualifying campaign, Blanco needs to get called up again. Well, It's against Israel, I don't know if they can get a good look at the players and the scheme that way. Also, they want the crowd to fill up the Azteca, although I think it would have even without the send off.
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May 27, 2014 18:32
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Stinky Pit posted:Blanco already got sent to the 2010 World Cup so he could have his last hurrah, they even let him take a Penalty so he could break a record, there is no good reason why after a disastrous qualifying campaign, Blanco needs to get called up again. The Fox Sports guys said that the reason was "Cuauhtemoc still fills up stadiums" so the answer is money, as it is the tradition of the FMF these days.
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May 27, 2014 18:36
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Drogadon posted:The Fox Sports guys said that the reason was "Cuauhtemoc still fills up stadiums" so the answer is money, as it is the tradition of the FMF these days. Right it's 100% that, its the same reason Mexico plays most of its games in loving NFL Stadiums in the United States these days while ignoring their historic national stadium. Its tremendously retarded. El Chingon posted:Well, It's against Israel, I don't know if they can get a good look at the players and the scheme that way. That's such a retarded excuse. Mexico are weeks away from the World Cup, after a disastrous Qualifying Campaign, with a manager who has had barely 4 games in charge. The team needs every minute of preparation they can get and match-minutes are invaluable. If other federations had the time, they would gladly play another friendly, even against less than ideal competition. Throwing away 45 minutes in a blatant crash grab isn't the reason Mexico is going to do badly at the World Cup but its a great example of the disease that's debilitating Mexican Football. Ciprian Maricon fucked around with this message at 18:43 on May 27, 2014 |
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May 27, 2014 18:38
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Did Mexico call up Aldo De Negis for the World Cup?
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May 27, 2014 20:11
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Can Rafa Marquez slide tackle himself studs up? gently caress that guy.
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May 27, 2014 21:33
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Stinky Pit posted:Right it's 100% that, its the same reason Mexico plays most of its games in loving NFL Stadiums in the United States these days while ignoring their historic national stadium. Its tremendously retarded. With such a disastrous World Cup Qualification, I'd guess they had huge problems to schedule matches with any good squad. Also the Azteca filled up and with a victory will be a good thing for the player's confidence, as they were lacking this last year.
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May 28, 2014 16:52
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For those of you interested Mexico is currently playing Israel. If you're cool, you'll watch in Spanish, where the commentators literally laugh as Mexico fucks up. Jorge Campos is in the booth for Azteca today which is always fun because he's a legend. EDIT: lmao the Azteca commentators are so loving brutal, they make me look downright cheerful about the state of El Tri "If we're playing a memorial game and the best looking guy on the pitch is the guy were throwing a memorial for, we're hosed for the world cup" They've just been non stop burning Mexico and Herrera all game. Ciprian Maricon fucked around with this message at 03:02 on May 29, 2014 |
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May 29, 2014 02:53
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I'm watching this and even the English commentators are making jokes about how every attack has to go through a 41 year old man.
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May 29, 2014 03:02
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So far Cuahtemoc is only one making passes worth a drat.
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May 29, 2014 03:07
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Important Update: Brazil legend Dunga, is also in the booth, and he apparently also thinks Mexico is bad. (its actually really funny to hear a portuguese speaker do spanish)
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May 29, 2014 03:08
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I'm sick right now so hopefully this cheers me up
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May 29, 2014 03:10
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Mexico don't seem to be very good, imo
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May 29, 2014 03:14
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The guy who just came off is a legitimate fat person
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May 29, 2014 03:15
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blue footed boobie posted:The guy who just came off is a legitimate fat person lol "the guy", you playin?
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May 29, 2014 03:15
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Baldo di Gregorio posted:lol "the guy", you playin? I just turned it on tbh I didn't get a good look at who it was
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May 29, 2014 03:17
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That fat 41 year old turd just played a better 38 minutes than every other loser in a Mexico kit. Someone come to my house and murder me please.
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May 29, 2014 03:17
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OH MY GOD
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May 29, 2014 03:18
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 06:32 |
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Woah nice goal
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May 29, 2014 03:18
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