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>take captain on date to finest steam McDonalds
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Jun 3, 2014 00:59
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 17:15 |
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scorpiobean posted:>take captain on date to finest steam McDonalds >tell her to meet you at McSteamalds at 7. Tell her to make sure a steam cola is waiting for you, and let her know she can get herself a pneumatic cola, because she's earned it but she still needs to lose some weight. Hop off the rikshaw and let Bob take her to the McSteamalds. Now turn around and talk to Blythe Mano-a-Mano.
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Jun 3, 2014 01:05
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>act like you're too good for McSteamalds when you get there. sniff derisively and smirk, even though the fried cogs are really loving good.
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Jun 3, 2014 01:39
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What the gently caress is a neg?
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Jun 3, 2014 01:59
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~ >Name "Jay Feminine Havocs" ~ >Travel to City Center >Inquire about the whereabouts of Dr. Zybourne. >Accuse the first person giving a reasonable answer of being involved in a conspiracy with Zybourne and Blythe, but congratulate them on their steam-moxie and offer the captain as a reward.
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Jun 3, 2014 03:38
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buy some heavily discounted steam at the steam summer sale
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Jun 3, 2014 03:40
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tinkerttoy posted:What the gently caress is a neg? its where you tell a women she sucks so she will suck your dick look it up man!
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Jun 3, 2014 03:52
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i would like to throw my support behind the poster that suggested that the character speaks to blythe hand to hand
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Jun 3, 2014 04:12
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>Search garbage for a sweet not-steam powered sword. Also search for some sweet steam powered porn.
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Jun 3, 2014 05:36
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chaosbreather posted:buy some heavily discounted steam at the steam summer sale >track down steam Gabe Newell and befriend him for an unlimited supply of steam.
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Jun 3, 2014 06:54
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>begin frantically searching the dump for parts to build an army of clockwork death machines whilst enslaving any passerbys into service of the same goal.
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Jun 3, 2014 07:01
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>Befriend a robot who loves to bend
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Jun 3, 2014 07:02
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Lord Byron III posted:> vote 5
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Jun 3, 2014 07:03
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>Command Al Borland machine to hack the government and switch the captain's identity with that of dr Zybourne. Gloat in how easy it was to find dr Zybourne.
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Jun 3, 2014 07:59
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>Gaze into the abyss
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Jun 3, 2014 11:21
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Take the rickshaw through the McSteamalds drive thru then tell the Captain you're taking her to a secluded spot for some "fun, sexy times". Force Bob to rape Blythe at gunpoint while you enjoy your McSteamalds.
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Jun 3, 2014 13:47
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Enthrone your spirit worlds in concentric circles against the earth, while blizzard beasts accompany you.
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Jun 3, 2014 14:36
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> offer three steampennies to anyone in the bazaar who can show you the way to "BOOKWORLD", stealthily readying your cog satchel in case it comes to bartering with a steam-tout Using your trusty steam-katana, you cut one of the captain's steambucks into hundredths to make steampennies. She stops protesting after the first hour. By the time you finish, Bob has fallen asleep underneath the Al Borland machine. They are so cute together! You snap a picture and make a note to add it to your 'rucksack' once you dismantle the rickshaw. "Ahoy! Steam-tout!" you cry. A short urchin boy with silver eyes and orange hair approaches you, clad in the finest shimmering steamed leather, which is covered in grime and oil. He wipes a cog from his eye. "What can I do for ye this fine day, o sir and madams?" "I'm offering -- and this is limited-time, you understand -- offering three whole steampennies -- that's enough to almost purchase a fine thread or perhaps a bite of pork -- for someone who can show me the way to BOOKWORLD." "There's no need to shout," complains the tout, pocketing the three steam-pennies. It's right over there." He indicates the large neon sign glaring BOOKWORLD in the market square. "They sell books, and book accessories. But --" and here his gaze turns to steel and he grabs you by the throat -- "don't mess with the one they call Selway. She's immune to even the harshest neg, and speaking personally --" he leans to your ear and whispers -- "I used to be six feet tall before she got hold of me." With that ominous pronouncement complete, the tout vanishes back into the shadows from whence he came. > Drag one of the Clockwork Prostitutes over to the Captain and demand a threesome. This 'party' is anything but, you think to yourself. To liven things up, you awaken Bob and have him drag the rickshaw back to the steam-hologram clock. Or is it just a hologram? This city is so full of cogsy wonder you've forgotten. Ah, but there! The clockwork prostitutes making the rounds! You rapidly disengage from your pants. Gears and stopwatches fly in all directions. You indicate your steam ballsack, point at the prostitute, point at the captain, point at Bob, hastily backpedal and slit your throat while pointing at Bob because you didn't mean to point at him, but it's too late. 97 steampennies and one very awkward foursome later, the Al Borland machine stares at you with open contempt. > open inventory To take your mind off of your hideous sexual faux pas (sexuaux pas?), you separate your rucksack from the rickshaw and open your inventory. Several scraps of paper from the Al Borland machine, an arcane stone -- still pulsating with blue light --, a picture of Bob and the Al Borland machine, and your rapidly necrotizing ballsack accompany various other artifacts and sundries from your travels. Although you prefer "career as a steam detective."
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Jun 3, 2014 15:18
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The Protocols of the Elders of Zybourne
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Jun 3, 2014 15:46
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>drop rotting ballsack
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Jun 3, 2014 15:47
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>display rotting ballsack to Selway, ask for book that will help. examine her for potential emotional weaknesses
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Jun 3, 2014 16:16
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Take a strip of cloth, your rotting ballsack, some cogs and other shiny poo poo. Make a stylish necklace out of it and give it to the Captain while tipping your fedora and saying "for you m'lady"
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Jun 3, 2014 16:17
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> seek medical attention for gaping ballsack wound > Pour steam lime juice into gaping ballsack wound The only person who's qualified to be a doctor here is you, as far as you're concerned. You find an expired can of lime juice in your satchel, crack it open and steam it over an open fire. Once it's up to a hearty boil, you take tongs (wouldn't want to hurt yourself here) and pour the soothing mixture over your steam-ballsack. The cogs and gears hiss gently when it touches them, and you hiss gently at the top of your lungs with the pain. You black out, but come to almost instantly. "It's always darkest before the dawn!" you cry. Gingerly, you wrap the area in a steam-vinegar wrap and sigh with a loud screech. "That's the stuff," you moan through clenched teeth. "Now I'm ready to really hit the town." You hitch up your trowsers, buttoning up all the stopwatches. > spend an hour or so ensuring that everyone in the bazaar knows that you're gay, then immediately begin having really public sex with the captain until everyone nearby is confused. You flop your wrists as hard as you can, loudly proclaiming your newly rediscovered homosexuality at all comers. A man wearing a sandwich board offers to advertise for you for the leftover boiled lime juice. You readily accept. He paints "THIS FELLOW IS GAY, NOT ME WITH THE STEAM BOARD BUT THE GUY I'M POINTING AT" onto his sandwich board and begins walking in a slow circle around you, pointing. You walk through the bazaar, followed by Bob pulling the captain and now Blythe on the rickshaw. The Al Borland machine has achieved mobility and is now rolling about after you. > Take out your deck of steam cards and keep drawing till you get the mythical 5th ace. if you believe hard enough, it will happen. This walking around with advertisement is starting to get to you. That, and the heinous level of pain you're experiencing. You snatch up your deck of steam cards from your inventory. The whole drat thing is aces. Somebody's idea of a bad joke. You suspect Blythe, although the deck predates your meeting him. > Examine Blythe's pants area to determine if he is, in fact "in bananas". You're reasonably certain everyone knows you are homosexual at this point. You allow the sandwich man to continue his rounds without you. Striding up to Blythe and the captain, you put on your finest detective face and add another pair of goggles. "So, in bananas, are you, Blythe?" you say in the steeliest voice you can muster. "Well, we'll just see about that!" You pull his pants down before he can move. "Well, what do you know about that," says the captain. From Blythe's underwear pours all sorts of evidence regarding a burgeoning banana business. It's all here -- tax forms, shipping orders, even a profit and loss statement. "Now you know my secret shame," sobs Blythe. "I can only run a business when it is literally in my pants. In the last seven seconds I've lost millions of steambucks." He hitches the business back into his trousers. "You must admit," you say to Blythe, "I'm a pretty drat good steam detective." "You certainly figured me out," says Blythe. "I know. That's what makes me a great steam detective." > kiss blythe This seems an appropriate time to let Blythe know how your mouth would feel mashed up against his. Little sparkles fly from your lips as you lose yourself in the kiss. You shared a moment. A piece of time. A slice of the 'action.' Things will never be the same. You disengage. Things are basically just like they were before. > make bob rape blythe at gunpoint > make bob rape blythe at gunpoint and the gun is pointed at your steamwork nuts "Toy with me in front of all these bazaar owners, who know I am gay?" you shout. "We'll see about that, Blythe -- if that is your real name." Stealthily, you draw a steam pistol and point it right at your cogwork ballsack. Without warning, you have a flashback. You are standing in the yard with your sensei, who has just given you your first steam katana. "Now remember," he says, "the gun is an inelegant and dishonorable weapon. It fires bullets in the same way the male penis might assault a loon, or perhaps a herring. Are you listening to me?" You are firing a gun into the target in the yard. "This is so easy, sensei!" You return to the present. A single tear comes to your eye. "I'm so sorry, sensei," you blubber. Everyone is looking at you. "Quick, Bob. Rape Blythe or I'll blow them off!" Bob looks rather confused. "I'm to rape Blythe to stop you blowing off your own ungodly abomination? Aballmination?" "Yes!" you proclaim. Blythe looks Bob up and down. "You are quite a tiger, aren't you? Well, come on then." [One apparently consensual rape scene later] "Let that be a lesson to all you... people," you finish, lamely. An audience of bazaar owners wish there were such a thing as public decency laws. The clockwork mayor is stumping about your group, calling it 'the shame train.' > Think about what you have done > Regret nothing As you walk through the bazaar, you reflect on everything you've done up to this point. Wouldn't change a thing. Except maybe charge more for the mince-off. You make a note of that for next time.
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Jun 3, 2014 16:22
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Cook steamed hams in the Al Borland machine
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Jun 3, 2014 16:34
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>Run shame train on Mayor. Steer said train into BOOKWORLD
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Jun 3, 2014 16:38
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> haggle over some ridiculous bullshit steam powered video screen and watch an interesting fragment of local steamvision. show an obvious contempt for outdated technology while strolling on into BOOKWORLD
Incredulous Dylan fucked around with this message at 16:56 on Jun 3, 2014 |
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Jun 3, 2014 16:53
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>Find Selway and give her a solid pos before asking about the Elder Steam Scrolls.
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Jun 3, 2014 17:15
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>Complain that BOOKWORLD has too many steam books and not enough cog books. Demand a refund despite buying nothing.
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Jun 3, 2014 17:35
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scorpiobean posted:>Run shame train on Mayor. Steer said train into BOOKWORLD This, then >since negs won't work, poz Selway's neg rear end to obtain the elder steam scrolls
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Jun 3, 2014 18:33
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>Make a cogpowered book out of Al Borland notes and the picture of Al Borland and Bob and give it to the salesman. Demand your money back.
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Jun 3, 2014 19:13
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>Break into song like you're in an old hollywood musical about how great rape is. While you're singing verses, walk up to random people and dry hump them in time to the music. Force your party to sing the chorus with you. Make sure you end up with your arms outstretched, one foot up on something, singing the final word of the song lustily.
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Jun 3, 2014 19:48
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> Search garbage for a sweet not-steam powered sword. Also search for some sweet steam powered porn. Is there such a thing as a non-steam powered sword? If there is, you've never heard of one. You imagine it, balanced and preposterous, without all the cumbersome gears and cogs. You chuckle to yourself at the thought of it. How would it even work? How would it emit steam? There's no need to look far for steam-powered porn. You take out the latest issue of COGS AND BREASTS QUARTERLY, and take a moment to read the VERY informative articles. > consult the new old holo steam clock tower. If it's five o clock somewhere find a steam pub for steamdrinking and a night's lodging. You consult your stopwatch, which is set to steam-Linux standard time. January 1, 1980, 0:00:00. "Who's been screwing with this thing?" you complain. You decide it must be 5:00 somewhere. You force everyone into bed to rest for the night. Blythe protests, but a threat to remove his pants again quiets him. You awaken refreshed and return to the bazaar. This involves plenty of backtracking.
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Jun 3, 2014 19:52
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Welp, time for a cheerful morning song then!
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Jun 3, 2014 19:54
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Throw a tiny wrench into your stopwatch's cogs as punishment for not displaying 5:00
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Jun 3, 2014 19:55
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Lord Byron III posted:You awaken refreshed and return to the bazaar. This involves plenty of backtracking. > Access steamNET > Attempt to access steamNET search to figure out where to find a proper leash for Blythe > Blythe comments that steamNET search is, in fact, working. > Smack Blythe for making such a ridiculous observation. Of course steamNET search is working, why wouldn't it be?
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Jun 3, 2014 20:03
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>Send Borlandbot back to the ship to retrieve the key the fortune teller fortuned us about. And while he's at it, he can bring us the fortune teller, too.
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Jun 3, 2014 20:09
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>ritualistically destroy each and every item you own in a steam-grinder while reciting the entirety of "Atlas Shrugged" from memory
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Jun 3, 2014 21:59
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> Get on with it
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Jun 3, 2014 22:09
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>Offer to sell your decomposing ballsack to someone at the bazaar for money.
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Jun 3, 2014 22:12
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 17:15 |
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>Rob the bazaar disguised as the main villain of this story so s/he gets indicted for it later on.
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Jun 3, 2014 22:38
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