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nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011



Whichever one of you it is, please stop leaving your buttplug on the shower rack. Thank you.

Jonathan

PS I don't consider myself a passive aggressive guy, and this isn't one of those passive aggressive notes, just don't do it. Thanks.

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Sauer
Sep 13, 2005

Socialize Everything!

"I borrowed your buttplug, hope you don't mind it was sitting on the shower rack."

That will probably fix the problem. Or he'll be in to that and you've got the start of a wonderful new relationship.

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011



Hey dilz, go live in your own Sodom and Gomorrah.

naem
May 29, 2011



Haha DEER housmant haha DEER aminal

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011



You're a squirrel so I would expect you to focus on that.

Moola
Aug 16, 2006

+++THREADNAUGHT+++


naem posted:

Haha DEER housmant haha DEER aminal

your a loving weird poster ya know?

amityville anus
Jan 30, 2010


better shower rack than dishwasher rack

mookface
Jun 7, 2009

I was visited by a giant last night. Twice.


Having roommates sucks how old are you

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Banned?

mookface posted:

Having roommates sucks how old are you

seriously?

Zeike
Jul 20, 2013



why dont you tell them to their faces, loving beta

Jake Snake
Mar 10, 2008

Jake? Jake! JAAAAAAAKE!


better check your drain for fleshy chunks op

Iamblikhos
Jun 9, 2013



OP, please describe the buttplug in detail.

Much is riding on that.

Thanks.

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

Fatal Exception

mookface
Jun 7, 2009

I was visited by a giant last night. Twice.



I guess?

A misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

CAT DRUGS


why are you telling us? we don't live with you.

right? or do we? i forget.



can i live with you?

Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012



naem posted:

Haha DEER housmant haha DEER aminal

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no eye deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no balls?
Still no loving eye deer.

Timeless Appeal
May 28, 2006



You should lick it and then tell him you licked it after he uses it next. Teach him a lesson.

Depressing Drawers
Dec 17, 2004
UR ALREADY DED


Hogge Wild posted:

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no eye deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no balls?
Still no loving eye deer.

you can still sexz0r without balls hth

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011



Iamblikhos posted:

OP, please describe the buttplug in detail.

Much is riding on that.

Thanks.

Purple. Gelly. Smallish.

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011



A misanthrope posted:

can i live with you?

Are you prepared to check your privilege at the door?

Also take off your shoes baka.

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011



Timeless Appeal posted:

You should lick it and then tell him you licked it after he uses it next. Teach him a lesson.

Why assume it's a he?

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Banned?


yeah. house mates suck.

mng
Nov 18, 2006

I just performed testicle surgery on the reporter!

Sorry roomm8 ;/

I decided it'd be fun to gently caress myself earlier this evening/morning. So I greased up Mr Sunshine and went to work. I had fun for 10 minutes and came. Then I was feeling the need to shower, so I did.

This is where things get graphic. Stop here if you don't want to cry.

Shortly after I started my shower, I felt a bit of matter coming out. Not terribly unusual, I just got done pounding my rear end. It landed on the floor of the shower. A few moments later I notice it's moving... strangely as it slowly gets washed towards the drain.

Last chance to stop. It's horriffic.

I nudge it with my toe and, to my horror, realize it's one piece. As in, a connected piece, as if it were... tissue. I think it's a bit of the outer layer of the colon. I feel like I'm going to pass out. I just crapped a piece of my rear end out of my rear end. I get it down the drain as quickly as possible and then sit down in the tub, I felt like I was having a panic attack. I'd had plenty of rear end sex before and not noticed this. Maybe this happened and I simply didn't notice it, or maybe the rear end "sheds" like this on its own occasionally, and no one really notices it (or admits they did). My rear end didn't hurt at all, but it does now, kind of, probably because I haven't stopped thinking about this horror for the last 90 minutes.

mookface
Jun 7, 2009

I was visited by a giant last night. Twice.


whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations

Ewww


socks

this sweet move
Jun 7, 2003



leave a note on it:

I melted your buttplug into a mousepad in the microwave

- Jonathan

and then you're done and close thread

mng
Nov 18, 2006

I just performed testicle surgery on the reporter!


thanks i have to throw up now

mookface
Jun 7, 2009

I was visited by a giant last night. Twice.


mng posted:

thanks i have to throw up now

Imagine that thing bearing down on you. Lifting up his enormous pannus and greasing up his filthy little penis getting ready to penetrate your rectum. He sweats profusely and breathes loudly through an agape mouth. Now he's in you, he let's the flab down and it rests firmly between your legs as he pounds away, grunting and moaning in pure ecstasy

mng
Nov 18, 2006

I just performed testicle surgery on the reporter!

mookface posted:

Imagine that thing bearing down on you. Lifting up his enormous pannus and greasing up his filthy little penis getting ready to penetrate your rectum. He sweats profusely and breathes loudly through an agape mouth. Now he's in you, he let's the flab down and it rests firmly between your legs as he pounds away, grunting and moaning in pure ecstasy

thanks I'm erect now

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Banned?


please.

those are stockings

Node
May 20, 2001



How do you get hot female roommates btw because I'd like to have sex with one or at least masturbate outside their bedroom door when they sleep.

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Banned?

Node posted:

How do you get hot female roommates btw because I'd like to have sex with one or at least masturbate outside their bedroom door when they sleep.

look at this guy who never had a sister

Node
May 20, 2001



Pumpy Muffinz posted:

look at this guy who never had a sister

believe me, if i did,

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 6 hours!




this thread....



naem
May 29, 2011



Yeah, guys about this thread,

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Banned?

naem posted:

Yeah, guys about this thread,

I know. There are jokes here. Mods!? please gas this thread!

mng
Nov 18, 2006

I just performed testicle surgery on the reporter!

gas mods lol

A misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

CAT DRUGS


nomadologique posted:

Are you prepared to check your privilege at the door?

Also take off your shoes baka.

I can do all that and I won't leave my butt plug in the shower! I do have this weird thing where I try to poo poo into people's mouths when they're sleeping, but other than that I'm very tidy.

The Science of Suck
Mar 17, 2009


Dear myself,

Goongrats on living in a house you own like a functional adult unlike the lame piece of poo poo op.

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Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008

Banned?

The Science of Suck posted:

Dear myself,

Goongrats on living in a house you own like a functional adult unlike the lame piece of poo poo op.

you have terrible ambitions

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