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So today I receive a rapping, a tapping at my door. I typically do not answer the door if I'm not expecting anyone as I fear home invasions and what not. When I finally do step outside, I nearly trip over a large paper bag that has been left on the porch. Inside, I find several bottles of Poweraide, a box of donuts, fruit cups, oatmeal, two bags of macaroni, and what appears to be some sort of half-baked Jesus fanfiction, complete with hand written commentary scribbled all over its pages. Its hilarious in its juvenile insanity so I decided I'll share some of its highlights. A critic in the ranks? I will post more tidbits from this gem as I come across them.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 00:03 |
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# ? Apr 25, 2024 12:51 |
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 00:05 |
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stop wiping with your nails and use paper
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 00:06 |
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MerchantOfChaos posted:So today I receive a rapping, a tapping at my door. I typically do not answer the door if I'm not expecting anyone as I fear home invasions and what not. When I finally do step outside, I nearly trip over a large paper bag that has been left on the porch. Inside, I find several bottles of Poweraide, a box of donuts, fruit cups, oatmeal, two bags of macaroni, and what appears to be some sort of half-baked Jesus fanfiction, complete with hand written commentary scribbled all over its pages. Its hilarious in its juvenile insanity so I decided I'll share some of its highlights. just talk the donuts and shut up.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 00:09 |
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MerchantOfChaos posted:I typically do not answer the door if I'm not expecting anyone as I fear home invasions and what not. if you don't live in, like, the worst part of Detroit, lol at your sad fearful world. if you live in the worst part of Detroit, sorry about your circumstances, i guess.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 00:16 |
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spengler posted:if you don't live in, like, the worst part of Detroit, lol at your sad fearful world. Believe it or not, poo poo actually happens outside of Detroit. I'd rather be "sad and fearful" than have a coat made out of my skin.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 00:34 |
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Were those really handwritten or is it that fake writing printed on the page you see in crappy ads.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 00:43 |
Everything in that book is true.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 00:45 |
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MerchantOfChaos posted:Believe it or not, poo poo actually happens outside of Detroit. I'd rather be "sad and fearful" than have a coat made out of my skin. I think you are a loser furry.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 00:45 |
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MerchantOfChaos posted:Believe it or not, poo poo actually happens outside of Detroit. I'd rather be "sad and fearful" than have a coat made out of my skin. Actually you're just really loving retarded
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 00:45 |
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Motsew posted:Actually you're just really loving retarded its hard to argue with the truth.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 00:50 |
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MerchantOfChaos posted:Believe it or not, poo poo actually happens outside of Detroit. I'd rather be "sad and fearful" than have a coat made out of my skin.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 00:52 |
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Yes, it was really handwritten. Yes, I'm retarded for being aware that break-ins are a thing that happens.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:03 |
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MerchantOfChaos posted:Yes, it was really handwritten. Yes, I'm retarded for being aware that break-ins are a thing that happens. retarded or not, your posting sucks
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:07 |
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You may want to look into improving your living conditions OP. Its obvious that some nice religious lunatic think you're horribly impoverished.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:08 |
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DSauer posted:You may want to look into improving your living conditions OP. Its obvious that some nice religious lunatic think you're horribly impoverished. I hear the Mormons are looking for missionaries
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:10 |
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i'd stay away from your windows and never walk to your car alone op because lol if you think that home invaders will wait for you to open your door
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:20 |
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the only real way to make sure that you never get assaulted in a home invasion is to do the worst thing a home invader can do to yourself murder yourself, op take the power away from the home invader
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:21 |
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Business Gorillas posted:i'd stay away from your windows and never walk to your car alone op because lol if you think that home invaders will wait for you to open your door yeah. if he was a pussy!
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:22 |
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Mom just worries sometimes and wants you to do well.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:22 |
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Pumpy Muffinz posted:yeah. if he was a pussy! judging by the thumb in the pic i'd usually say that this goon was a woman but with being so overdefensive about lovely decisions i'm going with troon
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:23 |
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I see clearly by your whore black nails that you are a minion of Satan
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:28 |
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MerchantOfChaos posted:Yes, it was really handwritten. Yes, I'm retarded for being aware that break-ins are a thing that happens. I don't think jesus goes off on people like that.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:32 |
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Jimbo Jaggins posted:I don't think jesus goes off on people like that. lol.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:34 |
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The best Hey Zeus story I've read is one where he's walking down the street and doesn't want to walk past some white people because he doesn't want to be mugged.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:35 |
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holy poo poo you are all assholes
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:36 |
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Yaos posted:The best Hey Zeus story I've read is one where he's walking down the street and doesn't want to walk past some white people because he doesn't want to be mugged. The best Hey Zues story is Die Hard III
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:37 |
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The Dregs posted:holy poo poo you are all assholes
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:42 |
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What if the donuts are drugged?
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:46 |
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Angela Christine posted:What if the donuts are drugged? Then we go to heaven high
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:48 |
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Eat all the food. Report back.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:51 |
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Dont worry OP, I also live in abject fear of the outside world
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:52 |
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why did you doodle in that book? get a real job.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:55 |
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Is that a riot punch tattoo or maybe a Dead Milkmen "Bleach Boys" reference?
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:56 |
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To be honest that's a good way to get me to read something. Refreshments and a snack. Eating food left by strangers might raise a few flags, but being hungry and bored would most certainly quiet that kind of reason.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 01:59 |
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Robot Pride posted:Is that a riot punch tattoo or maybe a Dead Milkmen "Bleach Boys" reference? no, he's just a stupid rear end in a top hat.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 02:00 |
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MerchantOfChaos posted:Yes, it was really handwritten. Yes, I'm retarded for being aware that break-ins are a thing that happens. Your chances or someone invading your home and assaulting you are infinitesimal. You are much more likely to have a hundred thousand other things happen. You have a 1 in 6000 chance of dying every time you pull out of your driveway but I am sure you own a car and don't wear a helmet with a 5 point seatbelt. Get your risk priorities together.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 02:03 |
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Flesh Forge posted:I see clearly by your whore black nails that you are a minion of Satan would
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 02:03 |
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Pretty much anyone who likes punk music over the age of 22 is a total piece of poo poo
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 02:03 |
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# ? Apr 25, 2024 12:51 |
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Flesh Forge posted:I see clearly by your whore black nails that you are a minion of Satan That's why they included all the snack food. Can't whore it up once you get fat! Well, you can, but at least you won't be luring good christian boys away from the chubby christian girls anymore.
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# ? Jun 8, 2014 02:06 |