Rare and Obscure Sex Positions

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Rare and Obscure Sex Positions

Cursed Lumberjack: Nov 14, 2006; A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

Dolphin posted:

The plop job:

Unlike the conventional bathroom blow, the plop job requires that the receiver begin taking a dump before the plop job starts, and must still be making GBS threads at climax. This insures the entire plop job occurs during the course of a single bowel movement.

this is called a blumpkin you idiot and its hardly rare and obscure, its actually really popular

lol @ this virgin

# ¿ Jun 8, 2014 18:08

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 04:14

Cursed Lumberjack: Nov 14, 2006; A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

President Kucinich posted:

It's called a blumpkin, idiot

goddammit you motherfucker in the 20 seconds i take to insult the OP with more words than you, you come in and steal my thunder

# ¿ Jun 8, 2014 18:08

Cursed Lumberjack: Nov 14, 2006; A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

back on topic here's my fav to do with all y'alls moms
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Cincinnati+Bulldozer

quote:

1. Cincinnati Bulldozer
When you are loving a chic from behind, doggy style... You grab her wrists and pull them back behind your waste so she is straddling you, then proceed to walk around and bash her into stuff like her TV or somethin.
The reason that your TV is busted is cause I preformed the Cincinnati Bulldozer on your mom last night.

# ¿ Jun 8, 2014 18:14

Cursed Lumberjack: Nov 14, 2006; A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

Chris Pynes Knob posted:

my girlfriend is an amputee do you have any recommendations mr cincinnatti bulldoozzeerr

perhaps something a bit more equal opportunity

quote:

1. San Francisco Bird Feeder
To suck your own or another's cum out of a persons rear end, then spit it into their mouth. Like a mother bird feeding her young.
Johnny begged Jacob to give him a San Francisco bird feeder last night.

# ¿ Jun 8, 2014 18:20

Cursed Lumberjack: Nov 14, 2006; A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

if you want something a little more daring, here's a new twist on an old classic

quote:

1. Cleveland Steamer with reverse teabag
The act of deficating on your partners chest during sex and then dragging your testicles across thier face as you dismount them in reverse direction.

its sure to impress the judges

# ¿ Jun 8, 2014 18:23

Cursed Lumberjack: Nov 14, 2006; A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

my god you are stupid. have you ever even had sex? felching is the generic term for sucking it out of any orifice and has no specifications as to what you do with it afterwards. the bird feeder is named after san francisco for obvious reasons

# ¿ Jun 8, 2014 18:24

Cursed Lumberjack: Nov 14, 2006; A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

Chris Pynes Knob posted:

is it because people in sanfrancisco are gay

what are you some kind of bigot? you disgust me

# ¿ Jun 8, 2014 18:27

Cursed Lumberjack: Nov 14, 2006; A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

Chris Pynes Knob posted:

i am from ~~=^.^=~~ japan ~~=^.^=~~

can you recommend any japanese sexual proclivities

this one takes some extra effort but im sure its well worth it for the payoff

quote:

1. Tokyo Fishbowl
The act of ejaculating into one's fishtank...waiting patiently for the fish inside to consume your man chowder, then proceeding to fillet said fish into sushi, serving the meal to an unsuspecting 3rd party (e.g. unfaithful girlfriend, douchey best friend, housemate, etc...)
A: Shanna wouldn't take Tim to taco bell last night, so he totally gave her the Tokyo Fishbowl tonight!

B: Is that really any worse than Taco Bell?

A: Good point.

# ¿ Jun 8, 2014 18:29

Cursed Lumberjack: Nov 14, 2006; A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

maybe if you are more of a southerner then this will suit you better though

quote:

1. Nagasaki Wake Up Call
Noun: A way of waking a sleeping person by spreading your rear end cheeks while pressing your bottom up against the sleeping person's face and either farting really aggressively or defecating. The noise and smell this creates should be just as shocking and affective as the Nagasaki Atomic Bomb--the slumbering person will awake violently!
I gave Jimmy a Nagasaki Wake Up Call this morning to make sure he got up in time and didn't miss his flight.

# ¿ Jun 8, 2014 18:32

Cursed Lumberjack: Nov 14, 2006; A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

Phlegmish posted:

going to try this one out on my girlfriend though i'm not sureit counts as a sex position

if you dont get off from any and all of the positions i have posted so far, consult your doctor cuz something wrong with you

# ¿ Jun 8, 2014 18:40

Cursed Lumberjack: Nov 14, 2006; A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

Spanish Manlove posted:

This is called a blumpkin.

every other blumpkin enthusiast already pointed this out but thanks for the backup

# ¿ Jun 8, 2014 19:42

Cursed Lumberjack: Nov 14, 2006; A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

you irl posted:

The counter-cuck: you arrange for a bull to come gently caress your wife but when he arrives you gently caress him instead and make your wife watch

the counter-counter-cuck: you post a craiglist ad pretending to be a bull, but then when you arrive at their house you have your wife with you and you force the other guy to do your wife while you and his wife watch

# ¿ Jun 8, 2014 21:12

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 04:14

Cursed Lumberjack: Nov 14, 2006; A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

the general bullshit:

wear the hat of said high-ranking army officer, then poo poo in your pants while jackin it to cuck vids

# ¿ Jun 8, 2014 21:36

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Rare and Obscure Sex Positions