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Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
The piledriver.

With me on the bottom.

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Mr. Grinch
Jul 2, 2007

They say that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day.
that one where you breathe heavily right behind them until you cum in your pants and then get arrested

Uuudar
Apr 18, 2003
every girls is doggy. its universal

Tipster
Mar 7, 2013

the one where i apologize the instant i shudder to a disappointing climax

Diet Sodium
Apr 29, 2009
CEO. The best position is the one where you are the boss. I make the rules, bitch

The Fattest PI
Mar 4, 2008
Rawdog

spank my snatch
Jun 4, 2009

missionary with the lights off what a bunch of sickos and sinners

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.

Uuudar posted:

every girls is doggy. its universal

yeah I guess that is the best way to get off if a guy's dick is small but I don't know about it being universal

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.
My fav sex position is from the Kama Sutra. In it the woman lowers herself up an down on the man's penis via a pulley system while the man uses a bow & arrow to shoot a tiger. Gets me there every time.

turdriver
May 31, 2014

by XyloJW
dunno never had sex, op

im taking notes though

Nog
May 15, 2006

i'm a virgin and all my ideas of sex are from porn, so i'm really into slapping chicks in the face with my dick and having girls in heels step on my balls

The Fuzzy Hulk
Nov 22, 2007

ASK ME ABOUT CROSSING THE STREAMS


Froggy style. You start like doggy style then push her forward until she is laying on her tummy, then you rub your sperm on her egg sack with your feet.

Who Is Paul Blart
Oct 22, 2010
Gay ones because I'm a homo. I'm gay

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

bound and encased in a toilet

Modulo16
Feb 12, 2014

"Authorities say the phony Pope can be recognized by his high-top sneakers and incredibly foul mouth."

I like to have the girl sit on my face, and then she fart in my eye.

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

my uncle liked to do that but a air bubble went to his brain one time and he died

nevr forget

Maoist Pussy
Feb 12, 2014

by Lowtax
I like to have one girl sit on my face and the other girl sit on my pelvis.

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

do they do anything or just sit there?

MaxxBot
Oct 6, 2003

you could have clapped

you should have clapped!!

Uuudar posted:

every girls is doggy. its universal

I've never understood the appeal, it's like the most impersonal and least intimate position possible.

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.

MaxxBot posted:

I've never understood the appeal, it's like the most impersonal and least intimate position possible.

Now you understand the appeal.


Maoist Pussy posted:

I like to have one girl sit on my face and the other girl sit on my pelvis.

I like a girl big enough to do both at the same time.

naM sdrawkcaB
Feb 17, 2011

Maoist Pussy
Feb 12, 2014

by Lowtax

MaxxBot posted:

I've never understood the appeal, it's like the most impersonal and least intimate position possible.

Its loving, dude, it isn't a past-life regression.

spank my snatch
Jun 4, 2009

MaxxBot posted:

I've never understood the appeal, it's like the most impersonal and least intimate position possible.

You know sometimes, Amy and I would make love and it was almost like we weren't two people. We were two spirits, or something. Our souls were connected in this way, I can't...can't describe it. Time stood still. It was like we were sharing the same heart.

HalPhilipWalker
Feb 14, 2008
Does Christmas smell like oranges to you?

jiharlequinade posted:

You know sometimes, Amy and I would make love and it was almost like we weren't two people. We were two spirits, or something. Our souls were connected in this way, I can't...can't describe it. Time stood still. It was like we were sharing the same heart.

Really? Because when I hosed Amy she was into some nasty gangbanging air-tight triple penetration with random guys from the methadone clinic.

Beef Turret
Jul 9, 2009

by Lowtax
fleshlight missionary

saihttam
Apr 15, 2006
Enter sadman
dunno what its called but the girl squats over your penis

you irl
Jan 22, 2014

saihttam posted:

dunno what its called but the girl squats over your penis

does she poop at all? if not, its called a wasted opportunity

ziasquinn
Jan 1, 2006

Fallen Rib
I think it's called the upper decker, OP

Modulo16
Feb 12, 2014

"Authorities say the phony Pope can be recognized by his high-top sneakers and incredibly foul mouth."

zoomdog posted:

my uncle liked to do that but a air bubble went to his brain one time and he died

nevr forget

nevr fogot

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

fuck the ROW
Aug 29, 2008

by zen death robot
PiV

B.H. Facials
May 9, 2011

"Getting teased is part of growing up. It's no big deal. Just tell yourself, 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a .44 Magnum will tear that bully a new asshole!'"
The Alabama Crab Dangle.

Modulo16
Feb 12, 2014

"Authorities say the phony Pope can be recognized by his high-top sneakers and incredibly foul mouth."

I will post pics of me slamming whale so I can show my fav positions if you guys want.

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

TheKingslayer
Sep 3, 2008

B.H. Facials posted:

The Alabama Crab Dangle.

You studied at the feet of Leon Phelps, the lady's man, I see.

Lazyhound
Mar 1, 2004

A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous—got me?
Back-to-back works fine for me OP.

Jesustheastronaut!
Mar 9, 2014




Lipstick Apathy
My position on sex is that sex is God's idea. He made it not only efficient for making babies, but pleasurable and deeply satisfying. He designed men's and women's body parts to complement each other. He created hormones to make everything work right and make us want to be sexual. Unlike animals, whose mating behavior is purely instinctive for the purpose of reproducing, human sexuality has several wonderful purposes. God means for all of them to be contained within marriage.

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

it's true. god invented my dilz and also a pocket for my dilz to fit inside (women)

Maoist Pussy
Feb 12, 2014

by Lowtax
God is like me, except the size of the Universe, and he wants people to do what I want them to do.

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VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Maoist Pussy posted:

God is like me, except the size of the Universe, and he wants people to do what I want them to do.

I want you, to want me.

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