Iraq War 3 - Just F*ck Already! - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Iraq War 3 - Just F*ck Already!

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

I was a few missions short of getting campaign credit when we pulled out, so I'm cool with this.

# ¿ Jun 14, 2014 21:00

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 20:53

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

chemosh6969 posted:

Are any of you guys one of his military sources? If so, how much time do we have left? Are you still accepting applications?

While we are no longer accepting applications for Order Police positions, we still need clerks to do data entry for our ATF Form 4473 electronic weapon seizure database. If you have previous medical, nursing or veterinary experience, you may also qualify for a position implanting tracking and identification chips at one of our Citizen Processing & Reintegration Centers. Please remember to include your signed Presidential Loyalty Oath and Agenda 21 statement of understanding.

Dead Reckoning fucked around with this message at 22:10 on Jul 14, 2014

# ¿ Jul 14, 2014 22:04

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

gfanikf posted:

Turkey was allowed to have its own theatrical porn industry back in the the 1970s

Wait, what?

# ¿ Jul 20, 2014 03:48

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

I assumed they had cameras and a willingness to gently caress in front of them like every other country, but I didn't know there was some sort of Van Nuys on the Bosphorus back when disco was big.

# ¿ Jul 20, 2014 04:58

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

My parents couldn't afford trips to Europe when I was a lad, so I'm assuming all their swinging was done in vacation cabins along I-80.

# ¿ Jul 20, 2014 06:13

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

8lbsofanalsex posted:

We also accidentally hit a leper colony one night.

Oh, Intel. :allears:

I'm imagining some sort of Python-esqe physical comedy. "Sarge, all these guys were already missing fingers when we got here! I swear!"

# ¿ Jul 22, 2014 04:25

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

Snowdens Secret posted:

Maybe someone can throw grenades out the window of a Cessna

Close...

# ¿ Aug 5, 2014 02:18

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

Then what exactly have you been doing with all those babies we've been sending you?

# ¿ Aug 6, 2014 23:14

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

Zeroisanumber posted:

Would you guys call this an efficient use of a bomb? Because using a weapon that costs more than I make in a year to blow up 20 dudes and a couple of trucks just makes it seem like we're not getting out money's worth.

You can't put a price on reenforcing just how out of their league they are. Here, have a little death from the skies. Unstoppable fire and metal from above is a line item in our budget; we haven't even appropriated funds for this yet.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2014 20:26

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

Derek Dominoe posted:

A single ANA soldier managed to take out a 2-star and a bunch of other U.S. personnel. How many generals have your jumping jacks killed, infidel?

We got a Colonel with the run test. That's gotta count for something.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2014 03:37

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

Bolow posted:

not gonna lie when you're surrounded by those group of brown people at the end, i totally rules of engagement'd them

I laughed, because 10 min prior I had killed three dudes trying to peel my face off with bayonets, two dudes in EOD suits shooting at me with machine guns, and a Bradley. I'm supposed to feel threatened by rocks? Awesome game though.

Booblord Zagats posted:

So when are we gonna nix the drones and just handle ISIS with B-52 formations?

As soon as possible, inshallah.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2014 23:24

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

Fojar38 posted:

I want to hear more about the bioweapon programs.

FAT SLAMPIG posted:

please talk aboutt this

All the stories about BW are pure RUMINT, so treat it as such.

The first question is whether or not you believe Ken Alibek(ov) about the Russian BW program. All of his stories are basically impossible to verify, so I like to imagine they're all true. Like the one about stepping in a puddle of weaponized microorganism. Or the one about killing a whole bunch or Russians due to improper air filtration.

The really loving scary thing about BW research is that offense is the same as defense is the same as basic medical research. The United States has signed and ratified the Biological Weapons Convention... but we won't agree to any sort of enforceable verification/inspection measures. This isn't because we're running some sort of bugfuck black ops program; it's because if you gave someone with bad intentions access to the levels of biomedical research funding and technology available to the Government and American corporations, there is no end of trouble they could get into. After all, making a cure for Ebola worse isn't half as hard as developing a cure for it. (Also, we probably don't want assholes seeing what bioweapons defenses we're working on.)

Diseases are far worse than chem weapons because they're honed to specifically attack our bodies. If someone dies from poison gas, you don't have to trace back everyone who has been in contact with them. You don't worry that the gas (or enough of it in un-decayed, un-metabolized form) will be present in the blood and tissues to kill days after they pass on. Gas can't turn itself into a virtually immortal spore form that survives everything short of an autoclave.

BW attacks were vicious, sure: a properly deployed virus could wipe out a disgusting fraction of a nation's population, but that's only scratching the surface. If you've got all of genetics as your playground, why not go after the livestock and crops that feed a nation, or create time effect diseases that render an entire population bedridden and unable to resist until your coup de main is complete?

Dead Reckoning fucked around with this message at 06:24 on Aug 20, 2014

# ¿ Aug 20, 2014 06:13

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

Sergg posted:

http://cns.miis.edu/npr/pdfs/alibek63.pdf

Here's a pretty interesting interview of Ken Alibek, former head of the USSR's bioweapons program.

His book is pretty interesting too, but like I said, pretty much all his claims are impossible to verify.

Ceiling fan posted:

Anthrax is the only thing people weaponized in a big way, because you can treat it like a chemical weapon.

This isn't true. Tularemia was weaponized by both the US and USSR, and there were plenty of other diseases that reached a weaponized state.

Ceiling fan posted:

So we didn't go in for bio weapons for the same reason we wouldn't build a stealth fighter that can dogfight, CAS, do carrier ops, and VTOL. It would be a stupid, dangerous waste of resources, and wouldn't work anyway.

uh, we had an active bio weapons program from WWII through the Nixon administration.

Dead Reckoning fucked around with this message at 18:02 on Aug 21, 2014

# ¿ Aug 21, 2014 17:55

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

I'm imagining the apocalyptic scene of Basji mass attacks against ISIS armor manned by completely unqualified militants.

# ¿ Aug 27, 2014 16:50

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

Let's be real though all y'all would abandon your officers to insurgents in a hot minute if given the option.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2014 05:03

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Iraq War 3: Buy two get the third half off

# ¿ Sep 11, 2014 04:48

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

orange juche posted:

Why do German toilets have a poo poo shelf?

So you can inspect your poop before you flush.

# ¿ Sep 12, 2014 16:52

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

mambo italiano posted:

Then again I get a 40 sack for the price of a dub.

I don't listen to "hip-hop."

# ¿ Sep 16, 2014 00:33

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 20:53

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

50 Foot Ant posted:

Personally, I plan on living long enough to visit some places. You know, places that work for COOP or CoG? And... well...

Nobody gets to live.

I hope whatever watch list we're on has a cool name and doesn't flag us when we try to buy liquor.

# ¿ Sep 23, 2014 02:41

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Iraq War 3 - Just F*ck Already!