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Doctor Bishop posted:To be fair, cooling substances with lasers is an actual thing, so you could say that in a way, freeze rays really do exist. Yeah, but do they freeze people into perfect rectangular blocks of ice? 
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Jun 20, 2014 03:55
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Chrysolith posted:I was always told that people got married, and then they had kids. So my child brain deduced that the only way to have kids was to be married. I also thought that kids would just magically appear immediately after marriage, you can't avoid it. You have your wedding, and then boom - babies. I also thought this and then my mom said "well, you don't have to be married to have kids..." and then I was just terrified that I would spontaneously get pregnant whenever I grew up.
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Jun 20, 2014 04:28
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flavor effigy posted:I also thought this and then my mom said "well, you don't have to be married to have kids..." and then I was just terrified that I would spontaneously get pregnant whenever I grew up. DrBouvenstein posted:But I also knew that sometimes I saw single women with kids, or who were pregnant. So I got it in my head that it was possible for a woman to just become spontaneously pregnant at any time. How else would they have a kid if they didn't have a husband? Glad to know it wasn't just me that thought this. At least being a boy I didn't have the fear it would someday happen to me, though.
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Jun 20, 2014 15:51
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DrBouvenstein posted:At least being a boy I didn't have the fear it would someday happen to me, though. I used to have something like this, occasionally when my mind was wandering doing whatever I would dwell on the topic of birth labor ("OH GOD JEEZ MAN PREGNANCY SUCKS ESPECIALLY THE PART ABOUT BIRTHING THE BABY IT HURTS MAN  ). Then I would quickly check myself ("Wait, I'm a boy, boys can't get pregnant, why am I worrying?") and all would be well.
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Jun 21, 2014 04:16
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I was unaware that there were babies born by means other than Caesarean section, so I on multiple occasions expressed wonder that female animals in the wild didn't all die in childbirth, cutting themselves open with rocks. Eventually my dad pulled me aside and said "all babies aren't born that way" but he refused to explain how they were. I think I was in the double-digits at that points so it's kind of appalling he still didn't tell me.
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Jun 21, 2014 05:11
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From the time I could remember until embarrassingly old (about 12), I thought the sides of this lady's bonnet were here ears. Not once did I question it or think it was strange or wonder why this nice Bavarian lady would have freakishly huge bat ears. I simply accepted the way she looked. Then one day it just clicked that it was a bonnet. Guess the good news is I'm accepting of people with differences? 
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Jun 21, 2014 06:14
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LaughMyselfTo posted:I was unaware that there were babies born by means other than Caesarean section, so I on multiple occasions expressed wonder that female animals in the wild didn't all die in childbirth, cutting themselves open with rocks. Eventually my dad pulled me aside and said "all babies aren't born that way" but he refused to explain how they were. I think I was in the double-digits at that points so it's kind of appalling he still didn't tell me. Maybe he had just figured it out himself.
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Jun 21, 2014 08:22
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On the trend of babies. I thought when you wanted a baby you just went to be hospital and picked one out. When I was 5ish I remember going to the hospital to visit my cousin and saw the nursery so clearly you just picked out a baby that you liked the look of. Why did parents always look so tired, was it really that hard to pick? 
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Jun 21, 2014 16:40
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LaughMyselfTo posted:I was unaware that there were babies born by means other than Caesarean section, so I on multiple occasions expressed wonder that female animals in the wild didn't all die in childbirth, cutting themselves open with rocks. Eventually my dad pulled me aside and said "all babies aren't born that way" but he refused to explain how they were. I think I was in the double-digits at that points so it's kind of appalling he still didn't tell me. Oh, man, I thought the exact same thing. I was born by C-section so I guess I must have heard someone mention that I was cut from my mom's stomach and just assumed that was how it worked for everyone. If I remember right I think my belief was that pregnant animals would just present themselves to veterinarians when they were ready to give birth, same as people going to the doctor. Luckily I wasn't too old when my mom finally explained it to me. Also, according to a picture of a hospital I drew when I was about six or so, my mental image of a C-section was the doctor cutting off a woman's belly entirely and then sewing it back on afterwards. Like those old spy movies where the spy cuts his way through a window by carving a perfect circle out of it with a laser. Man, kids get some weird loving ideas of how things work. Punished Chuck has a new favorite as of 17:07 on Jun 21, 2014 |
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Jun 21, 2014 17:04
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Pay per view is paper view.
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Jun 22, 2014 00:37
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When Bill Clinton was getting impeached, the dialogue around it made me think it was somehow illegal for the President to get a BJ. I knew regular sex must have been ok (as Presidents have wives) and I knew that cheating was bad, but not illegal (because I knew JFK was a cheater and that was still cool) so it must have been the BJ that got him impeached. Like that somehow crossed the line, combined with the 'white stain' that made the whole incident so bad that the guy had to go. I recall thinking that he should have just nailed her, because then it would have been a lovely thing but not Presidency-ending.
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Jun 22, 2014 01:44
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Here's one I just remembered. I thought "underground" meant like it was presented on cartoons and the like; dark, empty caves and poo poo. My little kid brain had a hard time parsing the basement in my grandparents' house because it looked just like any other normal room, but it was UNDERGROUND IT MAKES NO SENSE  e: Another. I was totally in love with RVs as a kid, because THEY'RE CARS YOU CAN LIVE IN MAN  . But my parents usually called them "motor homes". Being the smartest kid in the class, I concluded that anybody who owned an RV had no need for a house, because the RV could just be their "home" instead. When my parents were discussing buying an RV (they ultimately didn't) I got really excited because I thought it would mean we could sell the house for a lot of money and live in the RV.e: More! I thought people's display names on forums and websites were their actual names. This led me to ask what kind of parent would name their kid DarkPawn666. Gen. Ripper has a new favorite as of 03:05 on Jun 23, 2014 |
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Jun 23, 2014 02:54
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AdorableStar posted:Pay per view is paper view. Same here. I had only heard it, never seen it written down, so I just thought that the listing of everything on "paper view" was in The Paper (cause as a kid, there is just The Paper), along with the price and the phone number to order it, or something. Like movie listings.
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Jun 26, 2014 15:54
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From what I've been told, I believed that kids came out in parts - so of course you wanted to give birth at the hospital where competent people could put them together. My parents did try to teach me something closer to the truth ; it seems it didn't stick immediately.
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Jun 26, 2014 19:29
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Caedus posted:When Bill Clinton was getting impeached, the dialogue around it made me think it was somehow illegal for the President to get a BJ. I knew regular sex must have been ok (as Presidents have wives) and I knew that cheating was bad, but not illegal (because I knew JFK was a cheater and that was still cool) so it must have been the BJ that got him impeached. Like that somehow crossed the line, combined with the 'white stain' that made the whole incident so bad that the guy had to go. During the impeachment I thought oral sex meant something akin to dry humping or just making out.
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Jun 26, 2014 22:09
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Sly Deaths Head posted:Later I heard they had some type of hole so I imagined it was basically like a belly button for several years. It didn't help that I was absent the day in sex ed class when they showed the boys what the girls had down there. Oh that reminds me, when I was little I had a similar but even dumber belief about that. I was aware girls had some sort of hole there, but I had never seen a vagina or even read/heard a description of one, so I thought it was just a small, perfectly round, black hole, like the sort of hole a Looney Tunes character would paint on a wall and then step through.
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Jun 27, 2014 01:41
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I used to think that when you played video tapes, the people that put on the show would show it live for you, on the TV. This made watching Amistad at a young age somewhat traumatizing.
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Jun 27, 2014 02:44
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Mister Adequate posted:Oh that reminds me, when I was little I had a similar but even dumber belief about that. I was aware girls had some sort of hole there, but I had never seen a vagina or even read/heard a description of one, so I thought it was just a small, perfectly round, black hole, like the sort of hole a Looney Tunes character would paint on a wall and then step through. That's so cute, did you think things just disappeared up there forever like a Looney Tunes hole? OH! That reminds me! As a child, I was vaguely aware of what penises were supposed to be like, but hadn't quite figured out the mechanics. I'd seen anatomy plates, but didn't really have a physical context for them. One day my friends' father shared us some artbooks he had, and one was the Art of Dune. An older friend said "HAHA IT LOOKS LIKE A DICK" when we were looking at the sandworms. You know where this is going. Thus I was pretty sure circumcision involved not only removing what I kinda grokked as the foreskin, but the TEETH IN THE PENIS too. I figured that's why sex hurt your first time, as I'd overheard in films and TV, that's how one's "cherry" (whatever that was!) would be popped. Teeth from an uncut dick. And sadly, I shared a lot of insight about my own anatomy to confused, earnest male friends but my friends just thought "Oh yeah sandworms, they are sort of like that." THANKS, GUYS. I was horribly afraid of being bitten. Thankfully by the time I was ~10 my sister, an RN, had children and gave me a very frank talk about sex to fill in the gaps my parents had unwittingly left. 
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Jun 27, 2014 07:20
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I learned about the earth rotating and how day and night cycles work at a very young age. Later, when I learned about time zones, I came to the logical conclusion that they were not divided up chunkily but smoothly, on a gradient running from East to West. I tested this theory by running back and forth in my parents house, going between two TVs and trying to see if the Westward one broadcasted at a slight delay compared to the one at the East end of the house 
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Jun 27, 2014 08:16
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Until I looked at porn for the first time, I thought that a girl's vagina was basically on the front of her body more or less where the penis is. Until I was like 13, I thought that during sex you just kind of stuck it in there and left it there. I had started jacking off years before that, and I had a few theories about how the act of sticking a penis in a vagina would cause the right sort of stimulation, but none of them were close to correct. I think my main thought was that some kind of muscle in the lady's vagina would do the work for me. When I was really little I believed that cats were female dogs.
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Jun 27, 2014 18:07
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Doom II's title screen: For some reason I thought that the cyberdemon's nostrils were actually it's eyes.
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Jun 27, 2014 18:33
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In the stairwell to the basement of our house there's a switch with a deep red faceplate and a black toggle, labelled "Oil Burner Emergency Shutoff." My parents made it known in no uncertain terms I'd be in BIG trouble for flipping it, so naturally my child mind concluded that flipping the angry-looking switch would make the oil burner explode and burn down the house.
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Jun 28, 2014 03:19
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In...third? fourth? an early grade, when we learned about the Civil War, I thought if the South had won all slavery bans in the U.S. would have been overturned, so alternate CSA-victory timelines were really terrifying to me.
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Jun 28, 2014 04:34
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I thought a cricket bat was a cross between a cricket and a bat.
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Jun 28, 2014 04:40
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Caedus posted:When Bill Clinton was getting impeached, the dialogue around it made me think it was somehow illegal for the President to get a BJ. I knew regular sex must have been ok (as Presidents have wives) and I knew that cheating was bad, but not illegal (because I knew JFK was a cheater and that was still cool) so it must have been the BJ that got him impeached. Like that somehow crossed the line, combined with the 'white stain' that made the whole incident so bad that the guy had to go. I'm not sure that this is inaccurate.
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Jun 28, 2014 05:15
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Noctis Horrendae posted:I thought a cricket bat was a cross between a cricket and a bat. Yeah, me too. I got this from reading Prince Caspian. I though "a 'sting' from a cricket-bat" was something that British kids had to deal with all the time, growing up in a country infested by big noisy furry bugs that stung them all the time and made them wring their hands. I also assumed, from similar circumstances, that British people all had a genetic inability to digest food normally, which is why they all had to eat "digestive biscuits".
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Jun 28, 2014 05:56
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When I was around 4-5, I grasped the concept of cartoons, that they were a series of drawings shown really really fast, but I thought that they were drawn in real-time. I used to feel really guilty for watching cartoons, because I imagined some stressed and overworked animator frantically drawing the frames as fast as he could. Then I decided that I didn't need to feel guilty because the animator had chosen that profession, so he must like doing it. Stop motion animation was also done in real time, by puppeteers who had painted their arms with Invisibility Paint, which I was convinced was a real thing because I saw it in a Tom and Jerry cartoon. What's worse is that I asked my mom if that was true and she confirmed it. I also thought sex meant holding hands, and I believed that for an embarrassingly long time. It was explained to me as "special touching", where "something" goes out of the man's body and into the woman's, but what exactly that entailed was a mystery. (And this was before the internet). I have vivid memories of asking my very embarrassed dad if he felt it when the "something" went from him into my mom... I thought oral sex meant kissing I told my dad that he should be a cashier at a store because people gave them money! I didn't quite understand that the cashier doesn't get to *keep* the money...
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Jun 28, 2014 07:06
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When I was about 6 or 7 I asked my mom, at dinner, where the meat was on an animal. Because I knew we ate animals, and I knew that a body had muscles, and bones, and organs... but where was the meat
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Jun 28, 2014 07:57
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When I was young I thought all cats were girls and all dogs were boys.
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Jun 29, 2014 12:29
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When I was very young I thought food was free, as I understood it was essential to life, how could they charge us money for something we need so dearly?  All monetary earnings were for spending on toys
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Jun 29, 2014 13:51
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Drink and Fight posted:When I was about 6 or 7 I asked my mom, at dinner, where the meat was on an animal. Because I knew we ate animals, and I knew that a body had muscles, and bones, and organs... but where was the meat I can't remember how old I was when I finally figured this out, but old enough to know that the subcutaneous layer was a thing, and to wonder if that's where the meat was. Even then it was a process of elimination thing—if meat isn't muscle, then where's all the muscle in cooked meat? Christ.
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Jun 29, 2014 19:07
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My word for a Vagina when I was 6 or 7 was Pundaluna. Not sure how that came about.
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Jun 29, 2014 20:08
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RillAkBea posted:When I was very young I thought food was free, as I understood it was essential to life, how could they charge us money for something we need so dearly? babbysfirstcommunism.txt
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Jun 29, 2014 21:53
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Neurion posted:In the stairwell to the basement of our house there's a switch with a deep red faceplate and a black toggle, labelled "Oil Burner Emergency Shutoff." My parents made it known in no uncertain terms I'd be in BIG trouble for flipping it, so naturally my child mind concluded that flipping the angry-looking switch would make the oil burner explode and burn down the house. Haha! We had a switch to turn on the sauna and my mom used to always tell us not to turn the switch on or the house would explode!! Also, I used to think I could parachute with a plastic bag so I used to try by jumping off me and my sisters bunk bed.
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Jun 30, 2014 04:16
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AdorableStar posted:My word for a Vagina when I was 6 or 7 was Pundaluna. Not sure how that came about. On a similar note, my grandmother's word for butt was "Sophia Loren" specially when she was around kids. I always knew it was a person but I didn't know it was a actress. Honestly, I don't know why it wasn't weird to me. I never knew the connection behind it and I never asked, I just rolled with it (even when I never used it, I always said "butt" even around her) Example of a sentence: "that girl has a pretty Sophia Loren". "Did you clean your Sophia Loren the way I taught you?"
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Jun 30, 2014 04:34
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I believed for the longest time that the song "When the Saints Go Marching In" was about football. Well, my family is from Louisiana...
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Jun 30, 2014 04:45
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When I was 4-5 years old, I thought that getting drunk was something that happened over weeks or months. Like the alcohol would slowly build up and then it would turn into drunkenness. I thought this because I saw people drinking frequently, but only saw drunkenness every few weeks.
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Jun 30, 2014 08:24
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President Ark posted:I didn't care much about history and when they first started doing world history in grade school (3-4th grade maybe?) I read ahead in the books and kept seeing this really cool angular swirly symbol on things and I thought it looked really cool so I kept drawing it on things. You and me both. I drew it on my pencil case, on walls, and everywhere. Though I knew that the nazis used it, I first found it in an old comic where the character goes to India and helps out some mythological cretures. And also because I was really into vikings and Norse mythology (especially Tor) at that time (and still is for that matter), that the swastika / sun cross they used wasn't the same as the one the nazis used. Also, gently caress the nazis for stigmatizing one of my favourite symbols (and vikings, Norse mythology and what have you). And when I was a kid, after getting sex ed from a two year older girl in the neighbourhood (so that would make me 5 years old I guess), I thougth the man peed in the woman and that's how you got pregnant. I find it a bit interesting that I had the other parts correct though, and that since the age of 4. I also thougth that people had two pupils per eye and I spent a good amount of time in the mirror looking for my extra pupils. And a last one as I remember it. I'm Norwegian, and the Norwegian word for "continent" is "verdensdel". When I was 3, I thougth it was "verdenssten" (world's stone), and I believed that untill I went to look up another word in a dictionary and came across it a couple of years later.
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Jul 2, 2014 23:13
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Chrysolith posted:I was always told that people got married, and then they had kids. So my child brain deduced that the only way to have kids was to be married. I also thought that kids would just magically appear immediately after marriage, you can't avoid it. You have your wedding, and then boom - babies. I used to think the same thing, or rather just the pregnancy being a direct result of marriage. Unfortunately, I found out how it really worked from a book in the school library about cats 
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Jul 3, 2014 00:40
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I thought tumbleweeds didn't exist in real life, and they were just a cinematic effect invented for Westerns? I've heard that people who live in areas without lightning bugs often wind up thinking the same thing about them? But now, in my adulthood, I live in an area with tumbleweeds and without lightning bugs.
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Jul 3, 2014 02:48
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