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I heard the word "suicide" on the radio and thought for a very long time they had said "sewer-side" and was very upset it had nothing to do with the ninja turtles.
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Jun 16, 2014 15:25
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I don't know if I ever actually believed it but it was certainly an irrational fear of mine as a child that I might one day accidentally poop out a baby when I was on the toilet. How would I have gotten pregnant in the first place? - from the toilet seat obviously.
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Jun 16, 2014 20:11
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I used to think the news reported every single person who died so I assumed my parents watched it every night to find out if someone we knew had died. I also thought euthanasia was 'youth in Asia' and was really confused why my teachers and stuff hated Asian children.
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Jun 16, 2014 21:07
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I used to think that when a person died, they were embalmed, then put on display. Like, permanently. On a shelf in the living room where everyone could see them. Forever.
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Jun 16, 2014 21:32
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Parts Kit posted:I always saw it as a backwards stupidly fancy 'G' and never asked so it was a very long time before I realized it was really a stupidly fancy D. Gisnep.
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Jun 16, 2014 21:38
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In pre-school I thought that the television was connected to the studio by a series of complex mirrors and corridors and I could converse with Mister Rogers if I just yelled loud enough into the TV. In first grade, our school's gym had an unreasonably large number of poles and bases for basketball hoops, but no hoops attached to them. They were clad in a bright red padding, presumably to keep kids from gouging themselves on metal. When we first were taught about doing fire drills, I came to the conclusion that the red padded objects were massive drills for tunneling our way out of the school if it caught fire. I was very disappointed to find out that was not the case. In third grade we learned about America's history of slavery, and I imagined the Underground Railroad to be literally an underground railroad. In fourth grade I partook in an extra-curricular thing called Odyssey of the Mind, specifically the 'Structure' problem, which was described to me as bombarding a wooden structure with billiards. I imagined throwing billiards at a ramshackle wooden tower. I was only partially right: we were to build small balsa-wood structures and roll billiards down an incline into it to see how much abuse they could take.
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Jun 16, 2014 22:14
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Neurion posted:In third grade we learned about America's history of slavery, and I imagined the Underground Railroad to be literally an underground railroad. I imagine pretty much every kid thinks this when they first learn about the Underground Railroad. Personally, I was disappointed when I finally figured out that that wasn't the case.
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Jun 16, 2014 22:22
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I spent an unreasonable amount of time searching my house for a secret passage to the underground railroad after picking it up from some book or other. Sucks growing up and realising that rural Australian towns tend to lack badass historical things. I did actually get to see a secret cave with Aboriginal paintings that the land owner never declared because he didn't want to get bothered by council workers and archaeologists. Take that Hardy Boys.
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Jun 16, 2014 22:33
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Doctor Bishop posted:I imagine pretty much every kid thinks this when they first learn about the Underground Railroad. Same. First time I heard of it I thought some people had gone mining underground and dug out long railroad tunnels for slaves to travel on and I wondered if this wasn't really really dangerous. When I was little I was, I am told, convinced that everyone ran on batteries. If people annoyed me I would threaten to take their batteries out.
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Jun 16, 2014 22:39
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When Portal first came out(I'd be eleven), I thought "Maybe Black Mesa/That was a joke/Haha/Fat chance" meant "Maybe Black Mesa was a joke? Fat chance". I knew just enough about Half Life to know killer aliens invaded, so I thought GLaDOS was mocking Chell for escaping out of the facility and into the invasion, Black Mesa being the name of the invaders.
WickedHate has a new favorite as of 00:18 on Jun 17, 2014 |
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Jun 17, 2014 00:10
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I thought that the candy, fruit Gushers, would actually turn your head into a fruit like they did in commercials. I was disappointed that they didn't.
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Jun 17, 2014 00:19
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I thought all songs on the radio were being played live by the band at the station itself so there was just a long line of bands waiting outside the DJ booth to step in and play.
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Jun 17, 2014 00:30
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I thought limes and lemons came from the same tree, and that limes were just underripe lemons I thought this until I was 22 years old.
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Jun 17, 2014 00:37
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- I thought oral sex was talking dirty to each other, but I like to think my kid-logic was sound. I saw a t-shirt that said "If you don't like oral sex, keep your mouth shut!", and my mom would tell me to be quiet by saying "Keep your mouth shut!" - I pronounced velociraptor was velo-cy-raptor for some reason, and my brain couldn't parse the correct pronunciation. The strangest part about it is that even though they say it in Jurrasic Park, I still couldn't get my brain and mouth to understand. I have a distinct memory of saying it once accurately, but forgetting how to seconds later.  - I was occasionally mad at my mom for saying we didn't have the money for something I wanted. She was lying, because I would clearly see her giving paper money to a clerk but then immediately get paper money back.
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Jun 17, 2014 01:32
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I thought faxes actually sent the paper you put in rather than just copy it.
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Jun 17, 2014 01:32
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MisterBibs posted:- I thought oral sex was talking dirty to each other, but I like to think my kid-logic was sound. I saw a t-shirt that said "If you don't like oral sex, keep your mouth shut!", and my mom would tell me to be quiet by saying "Keep your mouth shut!" My little-kid-logic was that I'd heard of phone sex before I heard of oral sex, so I figured oral sex was just phone sex in person. 
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Jun 17, 2014 02:35
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Oh yeah I also believed the standard POTUS controls everything etc., but then every kid believes that also a majority of the adult U.S. population
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Jun 17, 2014 02:37
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Ignimbrite posted:I heard the word "suicide" on the radio and thought for a very long time they had said "sewer-side" and was very upset it had nothing to do with the ninja turtles. Are you my best friend from 3rd grade bc she thought that too. She drew a picture of Barbie committing sewer-side which was basically Barbie standing in a sewer. Yes to the underground railroad thing and searching for hidden entrances to the underground railroad by doing the Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew thing of tapping on walls and seeing if they sounded hollow (they all sounded sort of hollow). Although I did it in my grandparent's house because I thought that would be older (it was built in 1950). I thought gay guys had sex by kissing and then their penises would come up and kiss too. I didn't want to ask my parents explain stoplights so I came up with the explanation that there were tiny people in there turning a dial.
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Jun 17, 2014 02:51
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Ignimbrite posted:I heard the word "suicide" on the radio and thought for a very long time they had said "sewer-side" and was very upset it had nothing to do with the ninja turtles. In class we once had to go through the Billy Joel song "We Didn't Start the Fire" line by line and write down what we found out about each historical reference. My little brother got to "Trouble in the Suez" and... yeah. "Trouble in the Sewers". The only way I convinced him it wasn't a Ninja Turtles reference was by explaining that everything else was in chronological order and in the 1950s.
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Jun 17, 2014 02:55
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I remembered another one a little while ago. There were all kinds of rumors about what would happen if you got painted. I think the prevailing playground theory was that you would suffocate somehow, though at any rate you would definitely die if you were covered in paint. My kid brain thought this meant you would die if you had any paint on you at all for longer than a couple of seconds so of course when I got some on my hand in art class I lost my mind about needing to wash it IMMEDIATELY! No Miss you don't understand I AM DYING!
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Jun 17, 2014 03:09
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From inside my elementary school's gigantic cavernous cafeteria/auditorium, the front double doors looked like this: That little hatch next to it was obviously (to me) the FIRE EXIT. I always pictured one day there being a fire and two thousand screaming panicking kids all crawling and clambering through that tiny little door in the wall because for some reason they weren't allowed to use the main doors. (I guess that's what the fire would be expecting?) I had no idea why they thought they needed to abbreviate EXIT to EX, though. There was plenty of room.
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Jun 17, 2014 03:09
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That you could actually dig your way to China. In first grade, a group of us was determined to give it good try. I can't remember how many of us there were, but we formed a circle and we had this thing thought out, too. We didn't have any equipment, so we used what was the best method available. We sat down on the dirt, braced with our hands and started digging with our sneakers. I think we had a pretty sizable hole made, but never tried it again after that one attempt.
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Jun 17, 2014 03:36
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:No man, you've got it backwards. There's a snake that lives in there: you can hear him hissing when you flush. That's why you gotta press the button then peg it the gently caress out of there before the toilet snake eats you. Lonely Virgil posted:Gisnep.
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Jun 17, 2014 03:46
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Lonely Virgil posted:Gisnep. I just kind of glossed over that word because I couldn't understand it- as with many other words in books that I assigned fake pronunciations and meanings to and didn't think of again until questioned. 'Guinness book of world records' was 'Genius book of world records' and the librarian couldn't convince me otherwise. I also feared an anemone-like thing that would come out of the bend of the toilet.
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Jun 17, 2014 04:32
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I grew up Catholic and so when the Marian prayer goes "Blessed is the fruit of thy womb," I used to think it was referring to men's affordable underwear as modeled by Michael Jordan. I was so horribly confused. 
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Jun 17, 2014 04:40
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The first time I saw a pub with a big "No Minors" sign on the outside, I thought it meant "No Miners". I figured this was because the miners would try to come there straight after work, and they'd be covered in coal dust, and the people who ran the pub didn't want them to get coal dust everywhere.
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Jun 17, 2014 04:46
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RC and Moon Pie posted:That you could actually dig your way to China. *sigh* Yes, except we thought it was somewhere off Australia because of the internet and then who knows what would've happened- the core of the earth filling with water and shooting steam into the atmosphere? Sure. Let's get that Craftsman shovel and dig down five feet.
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Jun 17, 2014 05:00
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My cousin convinced me that part of playing Twister was receiving a small electric shock every time you didn't put your hands/feet on the right color. She was super excited about it and got it for Christmas. ...Of course our small masochist brains were really disappointed when we realized there was no electric shock involved. I blame this commercial for the confusion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdDKG59bHAQ
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Jun 17, 2014 05:40
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Until I was about eight I thought chainsaws were exclusively used as weapons because of the type of media I consumed. Then my dad cut down a tree in the yard and I came to understand I was a tremendous idiot.
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Jun 17, 2014 06:04
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Until about age 7 I had no concept of how long a century was. I'd heard the word used but it never clicked. One day the teacher mentioned something about "in the 25th century, when we're all long gone," I angrily stood up and told the teacher that I'd still be alive in the 25th century, she'll see!
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Jun 17, 2014 07:38
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I thought that cars ran on magnetic railroad like tracks that were either invisible or buried under the pavement, I couldn't decide which. The car's steering wheel was to choose which track you wanted. How else would anyone ever be able to drive straight or make turns? People crashed by choosing the wrong track.
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Jun 17, 2014 08:31
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The first time I heard the word "lesbian" I was in 4th grade. I was with a few of the guys, you know? And these two girls who, now that Im thinking about it, were like young teenagers 13-14 walked by us. One of us called them lesbians and I though, "what the hell is that?" They said, "Hey, did you guys just call us lesbians?! Dont call us that!" Stupid, stupid me thought, "lesbians? That word sounds exotic... (first thing that came to my head.. giraffes, since the girls were tall and giraffes are exotic) so lesbians are giraffes?
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Jun 17, 2014 10:29
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Plydoh posted:My cousin convinced me that part of playing Twister was receiving a small electric shock every time you didn't put your hands/feet on the right color. Hah, I was scared of playing twister because I thought it was electric. I remember both being relieved and sort of let down when I realized that wasn't the case.
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Jun 17, 2014 15:21
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Waverhouse posted:I thought limes and lemons came from the same tree, and that limes were just underripe lemons Haha I thought this too! I thought there was one fruit, the "citrus fruit", that started out as a lime, ripened into a lemon, then into an orange, and then got overripe and turned into gross grapefruits. I saw a classmate eating a pomelo and just assumed that was like the final form of the citrus fruit.
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Jun 17, 2014 15:32
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I thought the word "dammit" meant something like "to aggressively throw a stick or hand-tool down" because that's what I always saw when my dad would say "dammit." One of my earliest memories is standing in the kitchen, throwing a plastic hammer on the floor and saying "dammit!" repeatedly because it was making my parents laugh, though I can still remember the mildly embarrassed look on my dad's face because he knew where I got the idea. Then they politely explained why that's not a word I should use.
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Jun 17, 2014 15:44
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I tried to build a perpetual motion machine out of K'Nex and blu-tac once. Surely if I weigh this bit down just a little more, it'll work! My sister thought that between Girl and Woman came Cat and Dog.
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Jun 17, 2014 16:31
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When I was in grade 2 I used to think it was illegal for white people and black people to get married which really bummed me out because I thought this black girl in my class was cute but realised we could never be
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Jun 17, 2014 18:56
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Wait i just thought of a better one I thought i would have to use cursive only when i got older and i was kinda poo poo at it at first so i cried alot thinking i wouldn't be able to do anything when i was grown up.
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Jun 17, 2014 19:40
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My dad told me the white plastic packs for storing hay you see on fields were humanoid eggs. I didn't even know what a humanoid was, but that's what I believed.
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Jun 17, 2014 21:09
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I didn't care much about history and when they first started doing world history in grade school (3-4th grade maybe?) I read ahead in the books and kept seeing this really cool angular swirly symbol on things and I thought it looked really cool so I kept drawing it on things. Then I got yelled at by the principal for drawing swastikas everywhere. 
President Ark has a new favorite as of 21:32 on Jun 17, 2014 |
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Jun 17, 2014 21:28
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