PYF iceburn [citation needed] ** READ THE OP **

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF iceburn [citation needed] ** READ THE OP **

Dodgy Graphite: Jan 25, 2011; I JSUT WANTED TO BBE A MODERATOR

Post your favourite sickest iceburn that actually happened.

From the McLibel case:

quote:

In June 1995, McDonald's offered to settle the case (which "was coming up to its [tenth] anniversary in court") by donating a large sum of money to a charity chosen by the two. They further specified that they would drop the case if Steel and Morris agreed to "stop criticising McDonald's". Steel and Morris secretly recorded the meeting; McDonald's said the pair could criticise McDonald's privately to friends but must cease talking to the media or distributing leaflets. Steel and Morris wrote a letter in response saying they would agree to the terms if McDonald's ceased advertising its products and instead only recommended the restaurant privately to friends.

From former New Zealand PM Robert Muldoon:

quote:

During the 1980s, then Prime Minister of New Zealand Robert Muldoon was asked about the increasing exodus of New Zealanders leaving the country to work in Australia. His comment was that by doing so, they were raising the average IQ of both countries.

Thread rules!
- Provide evidence in the form of a link. Don't post "one time I totally pwned this guy with my rapist-like wit"; the STDH thread is over there.
- Don't post things you claim to have said. Again, the STDH thread is over there.
- Don't post poo poo from bash.org (the original and still the best STDH repository on the Net).

Finally, since it's bound to show up on the first page anyway, let's just get it out of the way inbeforechurchill:

quote:

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 12:13

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 24, 2024 18:33

Dogan: Aug 2, 2006

# ? Jun 16, 2014 18:03

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Julia Gillard, when she was Prime Minister of Australia, speaking of then leader of the opposition (now Prime Minister) Tony Abbott. The whole speech (transcript) is great, but here are the best bits.

Julia Gillard posted:

The Leader of the Opposition says that people who hold sexist views and who are misogynists are not appropriate for high office. Well I hope the Leader of the Opposition has got a piece of paper and he is writing out his resignation. Because if he wants to know what misogyny looks like in modern Australia, he doesn't need a motion in the House of Representatives, he needs a mirror.

...

Good sense, common sense, proper process is what should rule this Parliament. That's what I believe is the path forward for this Parliament, not the kind of double standards and political game-playing imposed by the Leader of the Opposition, now looking at his watch because apparently a woman's spoken too long.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 19:39

Chamale: Jul 11, 2010; I'm helping!

Another one from an Australian Prime Minister, Gough Whitlam.

quote:

When Sir Winton Turnbull [who represented a large rural seat] was raving and ranting on the adjournment and shouted: "I am a Country member". I interjected "I remember". He could not understand why, for the first time in all the years he had been speaking in the House, there was instant and loud applause from both sides.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 21:10

KozmoNaut: Apr 23, 2008; Happiness is a warm
Turbo Plasma Rifle

AATREK CURES KIDS posted:

Another one from an Australian Prime Minister, Gough Whitlam.

British and Australian politics are so much more entertaining that Danish politics. We have no sick burns here, just a bunch of blithering idiots.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 22:00

scuba school sucks: Aug 30, 2012; The brilliance of my posting illuminates the forums like a jar of shining gold when all around is dark

Roger Ebert's takedown of Rob Schneider was, if not cold as ice, still pretty goddamn cold. This is the single most stone-cold appeal to authority I have ever read.

http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/deuce-bigalow-european-gigolo-2005

Roger Ebert posted:

In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: "Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind ... Maybe you didn't win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven't invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who's Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers."

Reading this, I was about to observe that Schneider can dish it out but he can't take it. Then I found he's not so good at dishing it out, either. I went online and found that Patrick Goldstein has won a National Headliner Award, a Los Angeles Press Club Award, a RockCritics.com award, and the Publicists' Guild award for lifetime achievement.

Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor, but lost to Jar-Jar Binks.

But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" while passing on the opportunity to participate in "Million Dollar Baby," "Ray," "The Aviator," "Sideways" and "Finding Neverland." As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 22:47

Catts: Nov 3, 2011

Surprised this hasn't been posted yet. Dan Quayle gets his political poo poo pushed in:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWXRNySMW4s

Beautiful even if you don't like American politics. Money shot at 2:30 :allears:

# ? Jul 28, 2014 14:03

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 24, 2024 18:33

Quidam Viator: Jan 24, 2001; ask me about how voting Donald Trump was worth 400k and counting dead.

OK, ground floor so I can post things that are necessary: The Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks

So it's like the 1600s, and the Cossack badasses of the steppes had just kicked the poo poo out of a Turkish army. The Sultan is really nonplussed by all of this and sends the following letter to the Cossacks:

The Sultan posted:

Sultan Mehmed IV to the Zaporozhian Cossacks:
As the Sultan; son of Muhammad; brother of the sun and moon; grandson and viceroy of God; ruler of the kingdoms of Macedonia, Babylon, Jerusalem, Upper and Lower Egypt; emperor of emperors; sovereign of sovereigns; extraordinary knight, never defeated; steadfast guardian of the tomb of Jesus Christ; trustee chosen by God Himself; the hope and comfort of Muslims; confounder and great defender of Christians -- I command you, the Zaporogian Cossacks, to submit to me voluntarily and without any resistance, and to desist from troubling me with your attacks.
--Turkish Sultan Mehmed IV

Here's a painting commissioned of the Cossacks coming up with their reply:

Aw poo poo son, you can just see them putting together the world's sickest iceburn. They sent him this reply:

"The loving Cossacks posted:

Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!
O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are you, that can't slay a hedgehog with your naked rear end? The devil shits, and your army eats. You will not, you son of a bitch, make subjects of Christian sons; we've no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, gently caress your mother.
You Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, rear end-bandit of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's oval office, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw your own mother!
So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our rear end!
Koshovyi Otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host.

# ? Jul 28, 2014 14:33

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF iceburn [citation needed] ** READ THE OP **