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porkchop_express
May 27, 2004


but the last few drops always end up in my pants. Why isn't there a moisture aid for the active goon?

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Panniculus Rift
Mar 14, 2004



cut off you're penis

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004


but then the bleeding will stain my pants more sounds counterproductive

Panniculus Rift
Mar 14, 2004



just tell ppl you have transitioned and you're having ur first period

A misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

CAT DRUGS


this will solve everything





everything

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004


A misanthrope posted:

this will solve everything





everything

does it also mind the stepchildren?

Heartbroken 2Twice
Oct 6, 2013


pipe cleaner. duh. it's like you haven't thought about this at all.

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

Premium apes for the discerning customer.


Just roll a piece of toilet paper and shove it into your dilzhole that's what I the gorilla man do hth

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004


i was thinking more of the chip clip route. i like to keep it fresh. for the ladies.

Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011


it's called tp you dope, it's not like you HAVE to use a urinal

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004


Ignatius M. Meen posted:

it's called tp you dope, it's not like you HAVE to use a urinal

yeah but how am i supposed to stare at other mens junk in public then mr smarypants

Necrocult
Oct 18, 2010

Form Fitting



A misanthrope posted:

this will solve everything





everything

It's all fun and games until someone gets their dick ripped off.

A misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

CAT DRUGS


Necrocult posted:

It's all fun and games until someone gets their dick ripped off.

in the future robot sex workers will eliminate the risk of STDs but drastically increase the risk of genital mutilation

also their appendages are pretty cold

IronClaymore
Jun 30, 2010



A misanthrope posted:

also their appendages are pretty cold

It would be only a tiny proportion of the total cost of the machine to put heating coils and a thermocouple in the "hands" to keep it constantly at human body temperature.

But what would be creepier: ice cold robot hands holding your junk, or robot hands that are suspiciously and comfortably warm?

Wooten
Oct 4, 2004



Just dab at your dick with a piece of toilet paper, pretend you are a pretty lady while you do it.

Robotnik Nudes
Jul 8, 2013


A misanthrope posted:

this will solve everything





everything

I don't want to be around this thing.

joat mon
Oct 15, 2009

I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.


Peeni-Pads

Dely Apple
Apr 22, 2006

Sing Me Spanish Techno

Big puff of gold bond delivered straight to the dong

haunted bong
Jun 24, 2007


my nigga have u tried lsd

Dely Apple
Apr 22, 2006

Sing Me Spanish Techno

if your dong at any time is not as powdered as a french aristocrat's wig then you need to powder some more

Chris Awful
Oct 2, 2005

Tell your friends they don't have to be scared or hungry anymore comrades.


If you wear briefs/boxerbriefs, you don't have to be OCD about a few drops which will dry up within 15 minutes. Stop being a bitch about a few drops of urine.

you irl
Jan 22, 2014


Chris Awful posted:

If you wear briefs/boxerbriefs, you don't have to be OCD about a few drops which will dry up within 15 minutes. Stop being a bitch about a few drops of urine.

this, but with your bladder's entire contents

Edgar
Sep 9, 2005



Piss then walk around pantless around the piss room.

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

You need to click the icon.


Just climb the wall and get your junk right under the hand dryer.

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010



usually after peeing i'll sort of stand on my head but tilt my head forward let my dillz(or dong) flop into my mouth and just stay like that for 10-15 minutesn, and i've never had pants drip

Puppy Galaxy
Aug 1, 2004


Pleasure to chill posted:

cut off you're penis

mods, please probate forums poster Pleasure to chill for improper grammar. this isn't aim, shitknuckle

LITERALLY SHAKING
Mar 30, 2011


No. I'm literally shaking.

gently caress you

El Murguista
Jun 25, 2011


shaking never worked for me either. the secret is to squeeze your taint then methodically smush the pee out your penis like you would a tube of toothpaste

you irl
Jan 22, 2014


i shake around like an epileptic, spraying urine all over the bathroom

A misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

CAT DRUGS


IronClaymore posted:


But what would be creepier: ice cold robot hands holding your junk, or robot hands that are suspiciously and comfortably warm?

I don't know! My boner is confused.

Don Tacorleone
Apr 2, 2013


Put on a sweater! It could have different colors, to liven up your life!

A misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

CAT DRUGS


Robotnik Nudes posted:

I don't want to be around this thing.

But your username???

PokeCrysis
Apr 15, 2013



LITERALLY SHAKING posted:

No. I'm literally shaking.

gently caress you

cool

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004


Dely Apple posted:

if your dong at any time is not as powdered as a french aristocrat's wig then you need to powder some more

i believe this to be true but i have found the whiter my dick gets the smaller it becomes in turn

Dr. Video Games 0112
Jan 7, 2004

serious business

You just have to tongue it real quick-like

thehacker0
Mar 19, 2014



get a prostate exam

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004


thehacker0 posted:

get a prostate exam

i do one daily while feeding the cats

needs bigger boat
Oct 1, 2005

Now run along and play, and don't come back.

A misanthrope posted:

this will solve everything





everything

is there a microscope on there? op might need it

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004


also it burns when i pee and smells of fish. it makes the cats meow at me

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Don Tacorleone
Apr 2, 2013


porkchop_express posted:

also it burns when i pee and smells of fish. it makes the cats meow at me

Yer a Wizzer, Harry

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