Search Amazon.com:
Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«4 »
  • Post
  • Reply
Mr. Gibbycrumbles
Aug 30, 2004

Do you think your paladin sword can defeat me?

En garde, I'll let you try my Wu-Tang style


So I've got this friend who is in his thirties, and he's had literally one date with a women in his entire life (and that's only because she approached him and asked him out), and that's basically the entire history of his social interaction with women.

He's decent looking and a nice guy, and definately not gay, but he's beta as gently caress when it comes to women. Any advice on how to get him to come out of his shell? (He doesn't drink or do drugs btw).

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Terry Francona
Jan 20, 2004


I hear there is a "reset" button in the brain, but it can only be reached with a bullet have your friend try that.

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001



Are you absolutely sure you're not gay?

Nation
May 8, 2003
Enjoy

Kiss him

butplug accident
Jul 9, 2009



just take acting lessons, op

Al Cowens
Aug 11, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!


MDMA

SaltLick
Oct 6, 2010



a gun in the mouth

Obscuritatem
Sep 18, 2009

Gleaming the Cube


yeah, nobody will be interested in that no-fun loser.

Bruegels Fuckbooks
Sep 14, 2004

i keep my word and i will kill you like i said
killing me? thats impossible for anyone


Mr. Gibbycrumbles posted:

He's decent looking and a nice guy, and definately not gay, but he's beta as gently caress when it comes to women. Any advice on how to get him to come out of his shell? (He doesn't drink or do drugs btw).

Just think kids, if you want to be in your 30's and never touch a woman, straight-edge is the way to be!

Naerasa
Aug 5, 2004

Do you not know that Death is the servant of Chaos?

He needs to leave his door open and play GameCube.

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004


NO

Daedra
Mar 13, 2002

Titans and Vols, bitch.


Death

snocked
Jun 19, 2004


sounds like a cuck.

jackyl
Jun 1, 2000


Naerasa
Aug 5, 2004

Do you not know that Death is the servant of Chaos?

Oh by the way congrats on being friends with Elliot Rogers.

A misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

CAT DRUGS


have you tried drugs and alcohol?

Fucker
Jan 4, 2013



yeah, a "friend" well go with that

Jimson
Oct 13, 2010

THUNDERDOME LOSER

I like Raj from BigBang Theory. Tell your "friend" to drink.

Fucker
Jan 4, 2013



the trick is to study human emotion and reaction and properly catagorize all the types of people and how they will react to poo poo, and how their faces move if they react a certain way or so.

study this, but dont be obvious about it, a common mistake is for nerds to be obviously inhuman while trying to use good pua techniques, no! big mistake! the most important thing is to study people talking with each other and trying to emulate them while looking at a mirror. i personally do it by watching lets plays videos on something awful and guys talking about movies/games to each other (giant bomb is really good for this). learn how to act, learn how to react, and learn about people.

when your skills overshadow your sociopathy, youll be a king of this world.

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004


cant cure enjoyable human being

Waroduce
Aug 5, 2008

Arbeit macht fit

Mr. Gibbycrumbles posted:

So I've got this friend who is in his thirties, and he's had literally one date with a women in his entire life (and that's only because she approached him and asked him out), and that's basically the entire history of his social interaction with women.

He's decent looking and a nice guy, and definately not gay, but he's beta as gently caress when it comes to women. Any advice on how to get him to come out of his shell? (He doesn't drink or do drugs btw).

eventually his balls will drop



Also tell him to stop masturbating all day every day

Al Cowens
Aug 11, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!


Fucker posted:

the trick is to study human emotion and reaction and properly catagorize all the types of people and how they will react to poo poo, and how their faces move if they react a certain way or so.

study this, but dont be obvious about it, a common mistake is for nerds to be obviously inhuman while trying to use good pua techniques, no! big mistake! the most important thing is to study people talking with each other and trying to emulate them while looking at a mirror. i personally do it by watching lets plays videos on something awful and guys talking about movies/games to each other (giant bomb is really good for this). learn how to act, learn how to react, and learn about people.

when your skills overshadow your sociopathy, youll be a king of this world.
I've gone into the outside world to re-observe society. The sign language of emotion I once knew has been replaced by a matrix of interrelated equations. Lines of force twist and elongate between people, objects, institutions, ideas. The individuals are tragically like marionettes, independently animate but bound by a web they choose not to see; they could resist if they wished, but so few of them do.

At the moment I'm sitting at a bar. Three stools to my right sits a man, familiar with this type of establishment, who looks around and notices a couple in a dark corner booth. He smiles, motions for the bartender to come over, and leans forward to speak confidentially about the couple. I don't need to listen to know what he's saying.

He's lying to the bartender, easily, extemporaneously. A compulsive liar, not out of a desire for a life more exciting than his own, but to revel in his facility for deceiving others. He knows the bartender is detached, merely affecting interest -- which is true -- but he knows the bartender is still fooled -- which is also true.

My sensitivity to the body language of others has increased to the point that I can make these observations without sight or sound: I can smell the pheromones exuded by his skin. To an extent, my muscles can even detect the tension within his, perhaps by their electric field. These channels can't convey precise information, but the impressions I receive provide ample basis for extrapolation; they add texture to the web.

Normal humans may detect these emanations subliminally. I'll work on becoming more attuned to them; then perhaps I can try consciously controlling my own expressions.

Waroduce
Aug 5, 2008

Arbeit macht fit

Sabel posted:

I've gone into the outside world to re-observe society. The sign language of emotion I once knew has been replaced by a matrix of interrelated equations. Lines of force twist and elongate between people, objects, institutions, ideas. The individuals are tragically like marionettes, independently animate but bound by a web they choose not to see; they could resist if they wished, but so few of them do.

At the moment I'm sitting at a bar. Three stools to my right sits a man, familiar with this type of establishment, who looks around and notices a couple in a dark corner booth. He smiles, motions for the bartender to come over, and leans forward to speak confidentially about the couple. I don't need to listen to know what he's saying.

He's lying to the bartender, easily, extemporaneously. A compulsive liar, not out of a desire for a life more exciting than his own, but to revel in his facility for deceiving others. He knows the bartender is detached, merely affecting interest -- which is true -- but he knows the bartender is still fooled -- which is also true.

My sensitivity to the body language of others has increased to the point that I can make these observations without sight or sound: I can smell the pheromones exuded by his skin. To an extent, my muscles can even detect the tension within his, perhaps by their electric field. These channels can't convey precise information, but the impressions I receive provide ample basis for extrapolation; they add texture to the web.

Normal humans may detect these emanations subliminally. I'll work on becoming more attuned to them; then perhaps I can try consciously controlling my own expressions.

Some serial killer poo poo right here

5

Fagmaster
Aug 21, 2004



rock climbing or learning to play some instrument or both at the same time

Phoon
Apr 23, 2010



smoke weed

Waroduce
Aug 5, 2008

Arbeit macht fit

Tell him to put his lotion and pocket pussay away and maybe he'll build a normal level of testosterone and he'll be motivated to get his dick wet in some non plastic pussy

A misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

CAT DRUGS


Sabel posted:

I've gone into the outside world to re-observe society. The sign language of emotion I once knew has been replaced by a matrix of interrelated equations. Lines of force twist and elongate between people, objects, institutions, ideas. The individuals are tragically like marionettes, independently animate but bound by a web they choose not to see; they could resist if they wished, but so few of them do.

At the moment I'm sitting at a bar. Three stools to my right sits a man, familiar with this type of establishment, who looks around and notices a couple in a dark corner booth. He smiles, motions for the bartender to come over, and leans forward to speak confidentially about the couple. I don't need to listen to know what he's saying.

He's lying to the bartender, easily, extemporaneously. A compulsive liar, not out of a desire for a life more exciting than his own, but to revel in his facility for deceiving others. He knows the bartender is detached, merely affecting interest -- which is true -- but he knows the bartender is still fooled -- which is also true.

My sensitivity to the body language of others has increased to the point that I can make these observations without sight or sound: I can smell the pheromones exuded by his skin. To an extent, my muscles can even detect the tension within his, perhaps by their electric field. These channels can't convey precise information, but the impressions I receive provide ample basis for extrapolation; they add texture to the web.

Normal humans may detect these emanations subliminally. I'll work on becoming more attuned to them; then perhaps I can try consciously controlling my own expressions.

butplug accident
Jul 9, 2009



when i throw away my figurine collection and take up mountaineering i'll finally become an interesting person

A misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

CAT DRUGS


butplug accident posted:

when i throw away my figurine collection and take up mountaineering i'll finally become an interesting person

i hope you fall and die

unlimited shrimp
Aug 30, 2008



I can no longer dream in any normal sense. I lack anything that would qualify as a subconscious, and I control all the maintenance functions performed by my brain, so normal REM sleep tasks are obsolete. There are moments when my grasp on my mind slips, but they cannot be called dreams. Meta-hallucinations, perhaps. Sheer torture. These are periods during which I'm detached: I understand how my mind generates the strange visions, but I'm paralyzed and unable to respond. I can scarcely identify what I see; images of bizarre transfinite self-references and modifications that even I find nonsensical.

My mind is taxing the resources of my brain. A biological structure of this size and complexity can just barely sustain a self-knowing psyche. But the self-knowing psyche is also self-regulating, to an extent. I give my mind full use of what's available, and restrain it from expanding beyond that. But it's difficult: I'm cramped inside a bamboo cage that doesn't let me sit down or stand up. If I try to relax, or try to extend myself fully, then agony, madness.

butplug accident
Jul 9, 2009



unlimited shrimp posted:

I can no longer dream in any normal sense. I lack anything that would qualify as a subconscious, and I control all the maintenance functions performed by my brain, so normal REM sleep tasks are obsolete. There are moments when my grasp on my mind slips, but they cannot be called dreams. Meta-hallucinations, perhaps. Sheer torture. These are periods during which I'm detached: I understand how my mind generates the strange visions, but I'm paralyzed and unable to respond. I can scarcely identify what I see; images of bizarre transfinite self-references and modifications that even I find nonsensical.

My mind is taxing the resources of my brain. A biological structure of this size and complexity can just barely sustain a self-knowing psyche. But the self-knowing psyche is also self-regulating, to an extent. I give my mind full use of what's available, and restrain it from expanding beyond that. But it's difficult: I'm cramped inside a bamboo cage that doesn't let me sit down or stand up. If I try to relax, or try to extend myself fully, then agony, madness.

same here

IronClaymore
Jun 30, 2010



Waroduce posted:

Some serial killer poo poo right here

5

Only serial killers and people who frequent /r/redpill still believe in human pheromones. Two groups that certainly aren't mutually exclusive.

OP, you know what's great for social anxiety? Sex, with a girl (or possibly a boy). Buy yourself...ahem, buy your "friend" an hour or two with an experienced whore (the second hour is for you crying while she rubs your back and counts the minutes). Nowadays there's probably a whole cadre of them that specialise in dealing with spergy virgins.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



grow a pair

Sidecrab
Jul 16, 2012



This book worked for me http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Chimp-P...e/dp/009193558X

Your milage may vary

chaos rhames
Feb 25, 2011

You cowards don't even smoke crack


being encouraged, doing sports

Ferid
Jun 5, 2012

Have you got it yet?


Suck his dick


Edit I mean your dick because your friend is you

Bedshaped
Apr 1, 2010


Can someone please cure me of this affliction?

PollosBromanos
May 18, 2012


Browse GBS more, you'll find the full spectrum here and learn how to hide your tells. Sorry, his tells.

Kirk Johnson
May 25, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 39 hours!


I'd say your friend should spend time getting fit, learning how to dress well and then hit up the bars with some of his buddies but he doesn't drink so maybe he can meet someone at church group or wherever weirdo teetotal shut-ins meet people when everyone else is out on the town having fun.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

BUSH 2112
Sep 17, 2012

I lie awake, staring out at the bleakness of Megadon.


serious answer: practice by being a human and talking to people as if they're other humans (they mostly are).

semi-serious answer: kill yerself

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply
«4 »